


Dive

by Jubitea



Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, College, Drunk Sex, Friendship, Love, Multi, Past Sexual Abuse, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-27
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:21:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 43
Words: 159,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25557997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jubitea/pseuds/Jubitea
Summary: On his first day of college, Type meets his old childhood friend, Tharn, both deciding to rekindle their old friendship.The rebuilding of their friendship is fraught with new challenges.Through the romances, heartbreaks and buckets of fried chicken that the young men experience/consume along the journey of their friendship, will they realise that fate brought them back together for another reason?
Comments: 158
Kudos: 207





	1. 1

Type was excited for the first day of college. He had awaited this day for months. He didn't really know what he wanted to do in life, much like most college freshmen, so he settled for a Bachelor's in Management. Also, he wanted to taste freedom for the first time in his life. His future planning ended at getting away from Chiang Mai, away from his sometimes overbearing parents. He figured he'd cross the other allegorical bridge, the one to do with his real future plans, when he came to it.

He wandered around the unfamiliar hallways of his department till he finally found his classroom and walked in, full of excitement. He saw a seat right in the middle of class that was empty. It was the perfect distance from the front so, if he were to doze off, he wouldn't be caught, but not so far to the back that he wouldn't be able to read the board in case he wanted to someday miraculously listen to the lectures. He settled down and waited for the first class to commence. 

"Is this seat taken?" Someone asked from his left. He turned towards the direction of the voice to see a tall, handsome guy pointing at the seat beside him that, when he whipped his head around to see his surroundings, seemed to be the last empty one in the classroom. "No, go ahead," Type said, offering it to him.

"Thanks. I'm Kemp," he said, introducing himself. "I'm Type." Kemp gave him a big friendly smile. Just then, the professor walked in, cutting their conversation short. They both turned to the front to concentrate on their first class. 

°°°

  
  
  


"That professor seems really dull. He was talking about the Nazi regime like it was the most boring part of history. Like millions of people didn't die of genocide," Kemp said. Type looked at him, surprised. Involuntary laughter spilled from his lips at how accurately he had managed to describe the professor.

"Yeah, I wonder what he would actually be excited about," Type said with a laugh. "I don't know. Stamps?" Kemp replied with a chuckle, making Type laugh harder.

They walked to the canteen together for lunch, where they continued their conversation. He found out that Kemp was a student from Type's rival school. Their schools were always at loggerheads for the district sports cup every year. He found out that Kemp was the football captain through his junior and senior year and was quite impressed. Type was the basketball captain for his senior year too, so they were both surprised that they had never bumped into each other. They quickly figured it was probably because they played different sports. 

They bonded over being from the same place and their similar upbringing. Type was extremely jealous when he found out that Kemp lived in his own apartment, because Type's parents had made him stay in the dorms. Their reasoning being that they wanted him to have the full college experience. He couldn't tell them that living in the dorms was definitely not the way to get the full college experience, because girls weren't allowed in the boys dorms, but he decided not to scar them so early on. Also, he had worked really hard to get them to agree to let him move to Bangkok, so he didn't want to be too demanding lest the opportunity to move far away from home, that he worked so hard for, be taken away from him. 

"So, will you be trying out for the football club?" Type asked, putting a spoonful of rice in his mouth. Kemp turned to him and smiled, "If you try out for the basketball team. Maybe this time, with both of us on the same side, we can win all the intercollegiate matches."

That pulled a chuckle from Type as he proceeded to agree with his idea. He already felt like he had made a friend, which was a relief, because the rest of his school friends had decided to stay in Chiang Mai and join the local university. Type had to start anew in this college, which had been the only daunting part of leaving home. He was glad to have found Kemp. At least with him there, it felt like he still had a piece of home.

"Let's head back to class. I can't wait to see what the next professor is going to be like," Kemp verbalised, getting up from the table with his plate in hand. "Maybe this one will be into whittling?" Type suggested. "If that's the case, you know what would be even more amazing?" Kemp narrowed his eyes with a playful smirk on his lips. "What?" Type asked curiously. "If this professor ends up with the first one. At least they'll have someone to talk to about their 'fun' hobbies with," Kemp said breaking into a chuckle, making Type laugh once more as he followed him to the used dish collection bin. He felt really happy to make such a fun friend on the first day of college. 

They breezed through the rest of the lectures and had built up quite a good rapport by the end of the day. After the last lecture, they packed up their bags and walked out of the classroom together.

"Save me a seat tomorrow," Kemp stated, as they walked out of their building. "Only if no hot girl wants to sit next to me," Type retorted, with a smirk. "You'd betray me for a hot girl?" Kemp asked, feigning hurt by placing a palm on his chest dramatically. "Yeah. I just met you today. But you really shouldn't feel offended. I'd betray you for a hot girl even if you were my lifelong friend," Type said with an impish smile. Kemp shook his head, feeling like he was back in the highschool he left a few months back, and waved him goodbye.

Type still had to hand in some forms at the administrative building so he walked there alone. Once he reached the office, he filed the remaining paperwork, and turned to leave the building. He slung his bag around his shoulder and proceeded to walk down the stairs.

"Type?"

He did a double take, wondering if he really heard someone call out to him. He turned to see who it could be expectantly because he didn't know anyone on campus and that voice for sure did not sound like it belonged to Kemp.

"Type? Is that you?" The guy asked. Type was taken aback when he saw the guy who was scrutinising him with furrowed brows, standing at the landing of the stairs. He couldn't place him no matter how long he stared at him. He was tall, well built and had a masculine, handsome face. He tried his hardest to jolt his memory to remember where he could have possibly met him, but no amount of mental effort helped him recall meeting anyone that looked like him.

"Yes, I'm Type," he said, a little unsure, as he continued to look at him, still trying to find that face in his memory. He saw the guy breaking into a smile at the affirmation. The smile looked familiar, but his face absolutely did not.

"How have you been? It's been so long! I can't believe that I recognised you after all these years!" He said excitedly. Type just stared at him, wracking his brain, trying to figure out who he was. He had just mentioned they'd met a long time ago, which didn't help at all because Type's memory was somewhat of a dry erase board. He forgot things and people very easily. A good example being, even though he had just started college, he had already forgotten the names of a lot of his classmates from highschool; and it had just been a few months since he left school. 

"Do we know each other? I'm sorry, but I can't seem to remember you," he finally said through knitted brows, still staring intently at his, admittedly, visually pleasing face. The guy stopped smiling and his expression changed to one of disappointment. It made Type feel really bad, surprising him in the process, but he quickly shook it off. He couldn't remember who he was and he wasn't just going to lie to his face to make him feel better. 

"I'm sorry. I guess it's been a very long time. I didn't stop to think that you might not recognise me," he said with a small smile. Type could still see the edge of disappointment in his eyes and felt a little guilty for not remembering him. He was really out of his depth. He couldn't understand how he couldn't remember the guy when he was so striking. He was sure he would have remembered him even if he had caught a glimpse of him in a crowd, but he was drawing a complete blank at the moment.

"When did we meet?" Type asked, finally trying to quell his curiosity. The guy grinned at his question. "Primary school. You might not remember me. I'm Tharn."

Type's memories of that name flooded back as his eyes widened in surprise. He couldn't believe that the guy he was staring at was Tharn. That Tharn. The tiny, cute, baby faced boy from his primary school. He walked back up the stairs to get closer so he could get a better look at his face. He couldn't see a hint of that little boy anywhere on the face that stared back at him. Tharn used to be really tiny. He was a head shorter than Type, even when they were the same age back then, but the guy standing in front of him was as tall as him. He had broad shoulders and a jawline that looked like it was cut from fine marble, a far cry from the tiny frame and chubby cheeks he used to possess. He, now, stood like a Greek god in his proportions before him. 

"Of course I know you! And of course I couldn't recognise you," Type said and chuckled in utter disbelief. Tharn looked at him, brows tightly knitted in confusion, trying to understand what he was going on about. "What do you mean?  **I** recognised you," he said, puzzled. Type continued chuckling at how befuddled Tharn looked. He could see in his expression that Tharn didn't recognise how much he had changed. He figured it was probably because he saw himself everyday so the gradual change wouldn't fully register to him, no matter how contrastingly different the start and finish points looked.

"Yeah, because you went from looking like a tiny little boy to a goddamn model. My god, what has your mother been feeding you? You've got to let me in on the secret so I can start on that regiment today," Type said. Tharn, finally realising why he hadn't recognised him at first sight, started to laugh at forgetting to factor in that he had changed quite a bit from when they went to primary school together. It made him feel a little better to know that that was the only reason why Type hadn't recognised him. He was a little relieved that Type hadn't forgotten him.

"She kept me on a strict diet of protein bars and almond milk," he said with a straight face. Type stopped laughing and stared at Tharn, believing his words for a passing second and, when he saw the twinkle of mischief in Tharn's eyes, resumed his paused laughter. He looked at the smile that started forming on Tharn's face and saw the small boy again. He realised why the only thing he recognised was his smile. That was the only thing that hadn't changed about him. He still had the dopiest of smiles. It just suited his current face better. 

"I can't believe I'm seeing you after so many years!" Tharn narrowed his eyes at Type's words. "Yeah, because you're not on social media. I've tried to search you up for years but could never find a single profile."

Type stared at him in disbelief. He couldn't believe that Tharn had remembered and thought of him through all those years they hadn't seen each other for. He felt an unexplained happiness growing in his chest.

"Yeah, I don't really get the point of it. I don't think my opinions need to be blasted out into the internet for them to be immortalised forever. They're far too cringe-worthy," Type said as he physically shivered at the thought. "Also, I don't even like taking pictures of myself, what makes you think I'd post them online?" He added with a chuckle. 

Tharn stared at him, a little taken aback. He couldn't understand what Type meant by that because he would most definitely be naturally photogenic because he was clearly very good looking. In fact, that was the first thing that caught his eye. He remembered how good looking he was as a kid too, and he had really grown into those looks even further as an adult.

"Are you kidding me?" Tharn asked with a scoff. Type looked at him quizzically, not really understanding what he meant, and nodded. "Yes, I don't do social media. I have an email account if you need to reach me."

Tharn shook his head in bewilderment. He could see in Type's eyes that he completely missed the tone of his question. Also, it really felt like he was talking to a middle-aged person instead of someone who was a freshman in college. "How about we exchange numbers? I think that's something friends do, you know, since we're not potential business partners. And we're still teenagers. Not fifty," Tharn said with a light laugh. Type, finally catching on to how formal exchanging email IDs sounded, started laughing at his own suggestion.

"Okay, okay. Give me your phone," he said as he unlocked his phone and handed it to Tharn. Tharn followed suit and handed his phone to Type to put in his number into. 

"Here, done," Tharn said, handing it back. Type looked down at the number and smiled at the emoticon of a dancing girl next to his name. Tharn looked down at his phone and smiled at the emoticon of the Easter Island head next to Type's name. They both looked up at each other with the smile still on their faces, which turned to laughter at the realisation that they were smiling at the same thing. 

"So, let me guess, this means you're a dance major?" Type asked, putting his phone up to point at the emoticon, making Tharn chuckle at his assumption. "Close. Computer Engineering," he said with a grin. Type started to laugh at how far that major was from dancing.

"Does this mean you're an ancient one, just like these heads?" Tharn asked, putting his phone screen up to Type's face. Type widened his eyes in surprise, not realising that he had inadvertently taken a dig at himself by choosing that emoticon, and then resumed his laughter. He just liked that emoticon. The head looked so stoic. He thought it represented him perfectly. 

"So what is it?" Tharn asked. Type looked at him, puzzled at his question. "What is what?" Type stared at him in pure confusion. Tharn chuckled at how Type seemed to have lost the chain of their conversation so quickly. Classic old person trait. "Your major," he asked, grinning.

"Oh! I'm in management," Type said breaking into a stupid smile, realising how dumb he probably sounded. Tharn was surprised to hear that. He always thought Type would pick Sports because all he did was run around kicking a football at breaktime.

"How come? I thought you wanted to be a football star," Tharn said, looking at Type with his face drawn in confusion. Type smiled wistfully at the memory of his ridiculous childhood aim and shook his head. "I play basketball now." Tharn was even more taken aback by that revelation. 

"Really? My god. We really have lost touch with each other, haven't we?" He said, not being able to conceal the woefulness that thought brought to him from his face. Type felt a twinge of sadness at his words too. It was true. He realised that, had he opened a social media profile, they could have probably kept in touch over the years. 

"Doesn't mean we can't get back in touch, you know, since we're attending the same college now," Type said with a reassuring smile. Tharn returned his smile with a small one of his own, Type's words giving him the much needed comfort he needed in the moment. "Yeah. But aren't you going to be busy as hell since you're in management?" Tharn asked, unsure.

"Yeah," Type replied with a nod of his head. "But I'm free on the weekends," he added with a bright smile. 

"Oh, you want to hang out on Saturday then?" Tharn asked, feeling a bout of excitement at the possibility. "Yeah, sure. I've wanted to go to this new bowling alley that recently opened at the mall in the main city. I saw some flyers announcing it on our dorm notice board," Type said. "Deal! So, I'll text you later? I have to get these forms submitted before the office closes," Tharn pointed to the papers in his hand.

"Okay, I'll talk to you later!" Type said as he waved him goodbye. Tharn waved back and walked into the office. 

Type's face was drawn into an unconscious smile as he walked down the staircase, recalling their friendship from all those years ago. 

Tharn grinned as he walked into the office, feeling happy to meet Type again: his old friend, who always had a place in his mind and memories.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lacklustre summary. The chapters are already pre-written. I just need to find the will to edit them. 
> 
> I mistakenly deleted the whole note I had previously written when I tried to transfer it to this chapter instead of showing up in the whole work. It's a learning curve. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading the first chapter!


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "So are you dating anyone?" Type asked as Tharn walked back to get a drink of water from their table after his turn. Tharn raised his brows curiously at his question. "Why? Want to find out if I'm available?" He asked teasingly.

"Tharn!" Type shouted, putting his hand up in the air, when he spotted him walking towards the mall entrance from a distance. Tharn turned his head in the direction of Type's voice and broke into a smile when he saw him standing on the stairs with his hand raised to grab his attention. 

"Hey! Have you been waiting long?" He asked as he came to a stop in front of Type. Type, noticing how dapper Tharn looked in his casual clothes, looked down at himself, wearing a big shirt and slim fitted denims. He felt underdressed, even though they were practically wearing the same pieces; down to the white low tops. Tharn looked at Type in confusion at the lack of a reply from him. 

"I can't believe I have to spend a whole day with you," Type said looking at Tharn with disdain. Tharn contorted his face, puzzled at what Type meant. "Why? Have you changed your mind about wanting to get back in touch?" He asked, feeling a little hurt at the implication.

Type's mind snapped out of it when he saw the dejected look in Tharn's eyes and realised how Tharn must have misconstrued his words and mentally chided himself. "What I meant was, you look like a goddamn model. I'm going to be compared to you all day," Type said with a frustrated smile. Tharn's expression turned to one of bewilderment. "Type, we're literally wearing the same outfit," he said as he brought his foot next to Type to demonstrate how they were wearing the same shoes. Tharn noticed the glass wall behind Type and had a sudden idea. He turned Type around by his shoulder and made him look at their reflection. "We literally look the same, see?" He said, pointing from Type's reflection to himself. 

Type scrutinised the reflection. He saw that he stood as tall as Tharn. His shoulders and hips were narrower, but he didn't look too bad, and felt a little better about himself. He then looked up to see their faces and his confidence came crashing down when he saw the sharp angles of Tharn's face compared to the roundness of his. He had had enough and turned away, not wanting to see the cold reality the reflection held any further. 

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go," he said, taking large steps towards the entrance. Tharn followed him chuckling at Type's ludicrousness. Tharn couldn't understand if he was joking around. Anyone could see that Type was obviously very beautiful. 

°°°

  
  


"So how was the rest of school?" Tharn asked, putting on the bowling shoes next to Type. Type started thinking about his question, recalling the last few years of school. "How do you think it went? School always sucked. I'm glad it's over," Type said rolling his eyes. Tharn chuckled lightly, remembering how much school sucked for him too, and agreed with him.

"Why Computer Engineering?" Type asked, walking to their lane. Tharn followed after him and settled down on the bench. "I just really got into gaming in high school. I decided I wanted to make games because of how much joy it brought me. I want to give that same experience back to the generations that follow," Tharn said, pensively. Type turned his head to look at Tharn and smiled. "Smart  _ and _ good looking. How could the rest of us mere mortals compete?" Type said exaggeratedly with a grin. 

Tharn rolled his eyes at the obvious sarcasm. "Whatever. Are you going to keep talking, or are we going to play?" He asked, pointing at the bowling balls. Type smiled with a nod and walked towards the lane to pick up a ball. 

"So are you dating anyone?" Type asked as Tharn walked back to get a drink of water from their table after his turn. Tharn raised his brows curiously at his question. "Why? Want to find out if I'm available?" He asked teasingly. Type turned a shade of red at how his mouth betrayed him again by not letting his brain process them before blurting those words out. Tharn, seeing his friend looking uncomfortable, started chuckling. "No, I was dating someone in school but we broke up over the summer. She moved overseas for college," Tharn said. Type turned to look at Tharn, feeling relieved that he was straight after all, and nodded.

"What about you?" Tharn asked. Type shook his head. "No. Single as a Pringle."

"But don't those come in a pack with a lot of other pringles?" Tharn asked and Type couldn't help but laugh, realising how stupid that saying actually was. "Whatever. I'm not dating anyone. Hopefully being in college remedies that."

"Anyone catch your fancy yet?" Tharn asked. Type looked at him and shook his head. "The only girls I've seen have been in my class. I don't want to go down that road because, if something goes south, it's just going to be awkward as hell for the rest of our college lives because we'd be in the same class." 

Tharn chuckled at his explanation, agreeing with him. "Don't shit where you eat?" He affirmed, smiling at Type. "Exactly," Type replied, pointing his index finger at Tharn.

"Okay, let's finish this up," Tharn said as he grabbed a bowling ball and hit 9 pins, winning the round. Type groaned in frustration at his embarrassing loss. "How are you so good when all you do is probably play with your computer all day," Type frustratedly said, making Tharn chuckle in delight. "Exactly how you suck even though you play with balls all the time," Tharn said wiggling his brows. Type widened his eyes in shock at the euphemism. He looked at Tharn chuckling and went to buy another round with a huff. He was going to crush him this time around.

Type looked at Tharn getting into position. He looked at how lithe and perfect his form looked. He couldn't help but think that he was nothing like how he remembered. He used to have really chubby, pink cheeks and looked so small and round. Not the literal god that just bowled another strike in front of him. Tharn turned around and pumped his fist in celebration and it made Type break into a smile. 

"You've changed so much," Type said. Tharn cocked his head to one side in confusion. "Yeah, you've changed too. What do you mean?" Tharn said, which took Type by surprise. He had never stopped to think about the fact that he had changed himself in the years that they had been separated for. It was so obvious now that Tharn had pointed it out. He realised he was no longer the boy he was when he was younger. 

"Yeah, I forgot that you haven't seen me in years too. Of course we've both changed. We were children when we met. And you know how children are dumbasses, because we  _ were _ those dumbasses back then," Type said with a chuckle. Tharn laughed at the truth behind his words. He agreed that they were dumb as dirt when they were young. Him probably more than Type. 

"Yeah, real dumbasses," Tharn said, recalling a specific memory where Type walked up to him to ask him why he never spoke to anyone in class and chuckled. 

"But I still recognised you!" Tharn added, looking at Type with a proud smirk. "Yeah, because I didn't morph into a different person like someone else here," Type said, mockingly gesturing at Tharn, which made Tharn start laughing again. Type looked at him and suddenly saw a flash of the little boy who offered him the treats his mom had prepared for him for lunch with a big, dopey grin on his face, and his lips curled into a smile at the memory. 

Tharn proceeded to win the second round too, which made Type throw a small tantrum as he laid face down on the bench in disbelief. After Tharn was done laughing at Type's theatrics, he convinced him to go get something to eat next and, because Type was starving after two intense rounds of bowling, he let himself be dragged to the food court. 

°°°

  
  
  


"What do you want to eat?" Tharn asked as they stood at a vantage point from where they could see all the restaurants lining the walls. Type looked around and his eyes caught the red and white letters that spelt out KFC. He suddenly felt a burning need to put fried chicken in his mouth immediately. 

"Fried chicken," he said, turning to Tharn. Tharn nodded his head in agreement, because the thought of fried chicken almost immediately made him start to salivate. 

They both sat down at a table with their tray and didn't speak a word to each other as they attacked the bucket of chicken. They ate like they hadn't seen food for years. 

After the bucket was reduced to bones, they finally leaned back and soothed their full stomachs. 

"That was the best suggestion," Tharn said, smiling in satisfaction. "You're welcome. But there is a problem we need to address," Type said as he turned his head to face Tharn. Tharn furrowed his brows trying to decode what he meant. "What problem?"

"I need to drink a gallon of water because my mouth feels like the Sahara right now," Type said with a chuckle. Tharn suddenly became aware of the dehydration he felt in his entire mouth, on account of the fried food they had just ingested, and agreed to go buy them a bottle of water. He walked back to the table with the water and downed half the bottle, proceeding to hand it to Type who finished the other half. 

"That did not help," Type said as he placed the empty bottle on the table. "I want to drink something sweet," Tharn said, still feeling the weird dryness in his mouth. "Yes, that might help," Type said and then went to buy them a bottle of flavoured soda. They downed half of the bottle each and finally felt like their thirst was quenched. 

"My god. This is a conspiracy," Tharn said as he placed the empty bottle down. Type turned to look at him in confusion. "What is?"

"Only soda can quench the thirst you feel after you eat fast food. Do you think they add something to their food to make you crave sugar?" Tharn asked. Type thought about it for a minute. It did make sense to him. He always wanted to down a sugary soda after consuming fast food, but the thirst never went away. He would have to drink copious amounts of water every time he so much as breathed near a burger from a fast food joint. "Oh, my god! You're right! I always feel so goddamn thirsty every time I eat fast food. It must be the copious amounts of oil they use."

"Right? We should stop putting things in our body that demand us to consume sugar, forcing us to make more unhealthy choices," Tharn said, making the connection. He immediately thought about not eating fast food again and realised he could never give up good fried chicken. He turned to Type who smirked at him. They shook their head at each other in agreement. "Yeah, we're going to be eating this again next weekend," Type said and Tharn started laughing because he admitted mentally that Type was right. 

"Wait, so you want to come back here again next weekend?" Tharn asked as he looked at Type, finally realising what his words meant, completely taken aback. "Duh! We're going to come here every weekend till I beat you," he said with determination which made Tharn laugh again. "If that's the case, we'll be coming here every weekend till the day we die. Because you're never going to beat me," he said smirking at Type.

Type rolled his eyes in annoyance. "We'll just have to see about that, won't we?" He said in a challenging tone and Tharn broke into a grin, remembering Type planking on the bench like a child throwing a tantrum when he lost and felt like he wanted to see that again. 

"What do we do next now that we're fed and have more energy thanks to the liter of sugar we just consumed?" Tharn asked, not wanting to end their day together after being apart for so long yet. 

"There is an escape room on the top floor. I saw the advertisement board when I was waiting for you," Type suggested. "Okay, so we both go in together, right?" Tharn asked and Type nodded. "Oh, thank god. That means you won't be faceplanting on the floor because you lost," Tharn said with a chuckle. Type furrowed his brows in annoyance. "Whatever. Let's see how smart you really are, science boy."

Type walked ahead angrily and Tharn followed after him, laughing at how competitive Type could get. And the fact that he called him 'science boy'. That was one thing that hadn't changed about him: he was hilariously adorable when he was angry. Even more so now, since he was an over six feet tall grown adult, huffing like a preschooler.

°°°

  
  
  


They had a lot of fun solving the escape room. Tharn got them through 7 out of the 10 rooms, but he decided not to brag about it because there were no benches at the exit and he didn't want to deal with Type slumped on the floor, no matter how funny it would have been. As they were exiting the place, a voice stopped them from walking out the door. 

"Hey, is this thing difficult?" A girl asked as she walked up to Tharn. Type looked at her and was taken aback by how beautiful she was. Tharn was equally as stunned that someone so good looking was talking to him. "Ummm…. No, it's quite simple actually. You'll have fun," he said smiling at her, trying to mask the nerves. "I'm just so bad at solving puzzles but my friends really want to play," she said pouting.

"Do you want me to give you a few hints in that case?" Tharn said as he gave her a nervous smile, slapping himself mentally at how flirty that came out. She gave him a brilliant smile. Tharn and Type were both taken aback by how beautiful even her smile was. "I have a better idea. Why don't you give me your number so I can ask you if I get stuck somewhere," she said as she extended her phone towards him.

Tharn was blown away by her boldness and quickly put his number into her phone. She smiled and put a finger up to her lips to silently indicate it was a secret between them and walked away to join her friends. Type just flitted his eyes between the hot girl and Tharn with his mouth hanging slightly open, not believing his eyes. 

"Whoa! She's really hot," Type said, eyes fixated on her retreating figure. Tharn, looking in the same direction, just nodded, still not registering what happened. He couldn't believe a girl that beautiful not only approached him, but asked for his number. 

"You lucky bastard! She didn't even look at me once. I felt like an invisible entity next to you," Type said annoyed. Tharn turned to look at him, the shock turned to amusement when he saw how vexed Type looked and smirked. "Don't worry, my friend. Your day will come," he said exaggeratedly placing a palm on his shoulder. Type shimmied away from his grasp with a huff and started walking away, annoyed once again. 

Tharn couldn't help but smile at his friend, recalling little Type again, because his angry gait was still strikingly the same, even on his now overgrown body.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got Sibling B to beta so I posted this sooner than I expected. Anyway, the first few chapters are going to be slow. Don't hate Type yet, he's just a teenager who still needs to grow and develop through the story. It's going to be a real rollercoaster. That's all I can say without giving too much away. 
> 
> Thank you for reading chapter 2! 
> 
> I will try to get the next chapter out soon. Yoda, give me strength.


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His mind started wandering, trying to come up with the perfect thing to say to him, without it coming off too weird. 
> 
> 'You're really beautiful.' No. That sounded like he was trying to flirt with him.
> 
> 'Your face is pleasing to the eyes.' No. Too vague.
> 
> 'You look angelic.' No. Too…. gay?

"Did she text you?" Type asked as they walked to the bowling alley the following Saturday. Tharn smirked to himself and looked up at him. "Yeah."

"The fuck! I was hoping she was pranking you. Made me feel better about myself," Type said, taking a frustrated breath. Tharn, seeing how annoyed he looked, started to chuckle. "It's only a matter of time before you start dating someone too," he said and Type turned to him in surprise at the sudden development. "You guys are dating?!" He asked, in an octave short of a scream.

Tharn nodded sheepishly and Type couldn't believe how fast Tharn had found himself a girlfriend. The kicker was that it happened right in front of him. That new piece of information about them dating felt like pouring salt on his wounds. He couldn't help but feel a little jealous because not only had Tharn found himself a girlfriend, but she was also very beautiful. "You bastard! So when did you ask her out? Where is she from? What's her name? Does she have hot frien…"

"Type, can you slow down? Is this an interrogation?" Tharn said, feeling a little flustered at Type's barrage of questions. Type felt a surge of embarrassment, realising how frantic and desperate he probably sounded. "So when did you ask her out?" He asked, more calmly.

Tharn looked at the ground and smiled. "She asked me," he said looking back up at Type. Type was even more taken aback by that piece of news. "What the fuck? She not only approached you first, but she also asked you out?" He half-screamed at Tharn, the previous calmness immediately forgotten. Tharn grinned and nodded, feeling a sense of accomplishment. 

"Of course she did. God…. If I had your face, I would be swimming in girls too," Type said as he walked to the counter shaking his head slightly, still in disbelief, to buy them two rounds. Tharn shook his own head at his friend's words. He couldn't believe that Type was once again putting himself down and didn't see how good looking he was. He wondered what he could do to change that fact. Did he have to start complimenting him? His mind started wandering, trying to come up with the perfect thing to say to him, without it coming off too weird. 

'You're really beautiful.' No. That sounded like he was trying to flirt with him.

'Your face is pleasing to the eyes.' No. Too vague.

'You look angelic.' No. Too…. gay?

"What's her name?" Type asked as they walked to change into the bowling shoes, immediately pulling Tharn out of the mental gymnastics he was doing to find a way to compliment his friend. "Pina," Tharn muttered, deciding to put his plan on the backburner for the moment because he really couldn't think up a good way to start working compliments into their conversations without it seeming absolutely out of place. Especially the ones that he had just come up with.

"Is she from our college?"

"No, she's a senior at King's International."

"What the fuck! She's older too?" Type asked, staring at Tharn in shock. He couldn't believe Tharn's luck ran that far.

"Yeah," Tharn said smiling, not believing his luck too. "So where did you guys go on your first date?" Type asked. 

"We haven't been on our first date yet. We're going for dinner tomorrow. I guess that's our first date," Tharn said lacing up his shoes. "Then why are you here?" Type asked, surprised. Tharn turned to look at him, extremely confused by what he could possibly mean by that. "What?"

"Shouldn't you be, like, preparing or something?" Type asked incredulously. "I'm not running a marathon. It's just a date," Tharn said laughing at his friend's weird ideas on dating. He wondered if Type had ever been on a date. He realised that Type had probably been on many, solely based on his face. He figured that, even if Type couldn't see his own beauty, the people around him could.

"But it's your first date! And she's older! And she's hot! She must have certain expectations. Have you planned on what you're going to do after? Don't tell me you're going to go back home to your parents," Type said in a single breath. "I stay in an apartment on my own now," Tharn said, smiling at his ridiculous friend. Type, hearing that, turned to look at Tharn with his mouth agape. "You live by yourself? How did you convince your parents? My parents made me stay at the university dorm because they were too scared to let me live on my own." He pitied himself even further realising that the two friends he had, both lived in their own places, even though they were both freshmen, just like him. He was the only one staying in the dorms among them. Like a loser. 

Tharn, hearing Type's second line of scattered questioning, shook his head in amusement. "Because I have work after lectures. I'm working on developing a game with a team based in Japan. I don't have time to waste on travelling two hours to and from college everyday."

"You're already working on a game? The hell! How are you such an adult already? I can barely boil an egg while you're living on your own, are working, and, now, also have started dating a really hot older girl," Type said hurriedly, feeling worse and worse about himself. How did Tharn have it all together so early in life?

Tharn let out a breathy laugh. "You'll get it together too…." he said, verbalising the exact inner monologue Type was just having, as he walked to grab a bowling ball. He turned around to look back at Type, "....eventually," he finished his thought with a shit-eating grin.

Type, shaking off the shock he was in at Tharn pulling the words out of his mind like a mind-wizard, snapped his head towards Tharn and flipped him off. Tharn just laughed at the reaction he had gotten out of him and turned back around to begin the game. 

Type couldn't believe this was the same boy he was friends with in middle school. The same boy who was always clinging on to Type because he was too scared to do anything on his own. He couldn't begin to wrap his head around how he grew up to be such a well-adjusted, mature guy. 

Tharn turned around after he bowled 9 pins, smiling smugly at Type. " _ This _ is why I'm here. I need to see you throwing a tantrum again when you lose," he said. Type narrowed his eyes at him, his wonderment turning into annoyance at Tharn's cockiness. He bumped his shoulder on his way to play his turn. He was going to crush him.

°°°

  
  


"Type!" Tharn said, pulling at Type's arm who was lying face-down on the bench again. "We'll come back next weekend. You can try beating me then. You just need practice," Tharn said as he tried to pull Type off the bench. Type looked at him with an empty expression. "How can you have everything when I can't even get one stupid win in stupid bowling?" He asked with eyes unfocused, making Tharn chuckle. Tharn felt a little guilty at his statement. He wished he had just gone a little easy on him because he could see that Type seemed a little hurt. The excitement of seeing the exact scene of him lying on the bench, no longer made him feel the way he thought he would. He felt bad.

"The chicken is on me," Tharn said as he pulled at his arm again, trying to get him off the bench to lessen his own guilt. Upon hearing that, Type immediately shot up and put his arm around Tharn to guide him towards the exit. "I'll let it go this once," he said as he rushed them out. 

"Type! We need to get our shoes first," Tharn said, pulling him back. Type, realising he almost made them steal bowling shoes at the prospect of getting free fried chicken, started laughing. Tharn, seeing the mirth in his eyes, felt his guilt melt away as he smiled back at him.

°°°

  
  


"I told Tai and Pop that I met you," Tharn said as he took a bite out of his drumstick. Type, hearing the names of his old school friends, felt a wave of nostalgia come over him. It felt weird to know that Tharn was still friends with them after so long when he was the one who got them speaking to each other. He smiled at the memory and looked up at Tharn. "So what are they doing these days?"

"They're in Chiang Mai. They moved there for college. It's weird that you left for Chiang Mai during primary school and they left to go there for college. That place takes away all my friends," Tharn said smiling at Type. Type was a little glad he moved back to Bangkok for his college so he could meet Tharn again, but he couldn't help the twinge in his chest at being reminded of leaving him back then. Tharn, seeing that Type suddenly went very quiet, quickly tried to change the topic. "Your dad had to move for work right? That's what I heard from my parents."

Type looked down at his chicken and nodded. He wanted to stop talking about the past because that's what it was. The past. He was back in Bangkok. He was back in Tharn's life.

"So, where are you taking her?" Type asked looking back up at Tharn. Tharn was a little taken aback at the sudden change of topic, but he smiled, thinking about his upcoming date. 

"Just a new place that recently opened up near the city centre. It's a new concept restaurant where they change the menu everyday according to the freshest produce they procure. Pina found out about it and wants us to go try it out," Tharn said and Type was intrigued. "She even picked out the place for your first date? She seems to be doing all the work in your relationship. And what are you doing?" Type asked in jest. "I'm sitting back, feeling like the fairest lad at the ball," Tharn said, flipping his imaginary long locks with the most manly flick of his wrist. Type snorted and shoved a piece of chicken in Tharns mouth. 

"By the way, we're not in a relationship yet. We haven't even been to our first date," Tharn said after he swallowed the chicken Type shoved in his mouth. Type turned to him and narrowed his eyes. "Whatever. You're going to be. So are you going to ask her to be your girlfriend or are you waiting for her to ask you first?" Type asked as he nudged his shoulder playfully. Tharn rolled his eyes and shoved a piece of chicken in his mouth as a reply, and also as revenge for how Type had done the same to him minutes ago.

Tharn didn't want to voice the fact that it did feel a little like he was on a rollercoaster ride with Pina. It was the first time a girl had courted him and it felt like he was being whiplashed over and over again, but he kind of liked the rush of it. He didn't know what else was in store for him. He had never dated anyone like her before. She seemed really adventurous and fun. 

"Any luck for you yet?" Tharn asked, directing the spotlight away from himself. Type looked up from the chicken he was holding up to his mouth. He pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. Tharn started snickering, understanding that he probably shouldn't push the topic any further. 

"The only person I've met who's remotely interesting is my classmate, Kemp. And he's a guy. So, no, I don't think I'm going to be finding someone anytime soon," Type replied and went back to taking a bite of the chicken in his hand. Tharn nodded his head. "Don't worry, your day will come too," Tharn said as he patted Type on the shoulder. "I will choke you with this drumstick if you don't shut up," Type said, waving a bone at Tharn's face. Tharn leaned back and started laughing at how menacing Type tried to look with an angry scowl while brandishing a small, chicken bone in his hand like a weapon.

"How are your siblings? I remember you having a new baby sister before I left," Type said after they had finished their meal. He was reminded of when Tharn came bounding towards him, hugging him, pushing his plump cheeks on Type's as he told him that his mom just gave birth to his baby sister. He remembered being so excited for Tharn and hugging him back. He had felt incredibly jealous of the fact that Tharn had two siblings and he still had none. 

"They're doing okay. Thorn is a senior in college and Thanya is the same age as we were back when we met. It's weird. Seeing her makes me remember just how innocent and pure we were at that age," Tharn said as he thought about how his sister was a literal angel whom he would protect till his dying breath. Type nodded with a tight-lipped smile and shifted in his seat. "Hmmm."

"Why don't we call it a day? You have a date to prepare for and I am dead tired after that intense game," Type said as he started clearing their tray. "What? We just played two rounds. Are you sure you're a freshman in college? Because the more you talk, the older you sound," Tharn said chuckling at Type. 

"Fuck you! I'll show you who's old next week. We are going to have a rematch. Same place, same time." Tharn chuckled at the determination in Type's face and agreed.

°°°

  
  


'I can't make it on Saturday.'

'Why? Scared that I'll beat you?'

'No, Pina wants us to go zip lining.'

'Oh, no problem then. Not trying to come between you love birds. That sounds really fun anyway. I'm willing to bet it was Pina's idea.'

'No comments.'

'That means yes, right?'

'I'm not saying.

You want to join us?'

'What? Why would I want to intrude on your date?'

'There are going to be a whole bunch of other people there anyway. Plus, at least I can introduce you to her this way.'

'It sounds fun but I don't think I should. How would you feel if Pina brought someone else to your date?'

'You know what? Let me confirm it with her just to ease your mind.'

'No, don't.

Tharn?

Are you texting her?

Wtf dude!'

'She said okay. She wants to meet you too.'

'Fuck! You want me to third-wheel?'

'The place is owned by a friend of Pina's. 

She's really hot. 

She's also older than Pina.'

'Okay, let me know the time and place.'

'Thanks. Now I know exactly how to make you do what I want you to.'

'How?'

'Dangle a hot girl in front of your face. 

Or, you know, a hot and crispy piece of chicken. 

You're going to be super easy to manipulate.'

'What makes you think I wouldn't gladly welcome the manipulation when a hot girl or an equally hot piece of chicken is on the table for me?'

'You've become quite simple in the years we've been apart.'

'Yeah. Why bother to get worked up and think about deep things when you can just keep your thoughts to the minimum? That's why I'm constantly happy. Maybe you should learn from me.'

'So you agree?'

'With what?'

'You think you're really pretty?'

'Huh?'

'Hahaha! Nothing. I'll text you the details later.'

'Okay, weirdo.'

'Mean Girls. Watch it.'

'The fuck?'

'Just. Watch. It. 

Or no hot girls for you.'

'Alright! I'm watching it today.'

'See? Easy to manipulate.'

'Fuck off'

'Boo, whore!'

'Is this another reference from Mean Girls?'

'You'll find out.'

'Fucking off to find out.'

'You will not be disappointed.'

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I've posted another chapter! Three days in a row!
> 
> I hope I can keep this up.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	4. 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tharn looked at his reflection in the rearview mirror and started chuckling at Type's face slowly turning more red than a ripened tomato. On top of that, he looked extremely annoyed, his lips pulled into a little pout unconsciously. "You're adorable!" Tharn confirmed in the most exaggerated cute voice he could manage, which made Type scowl at him.

"Type, this is Pina," Tharn said, introducing him to his girlfriend as they stood in front of his car at the dorm's parking lot. "Hey, Type! You were with Tharn the day I met him, right?" Pina asked. Type was taken aback because he had assumed she hadn't even seen him that day. "Yeah, you remember?" He asked, perking up at the idea that she had noticed him.

Pina started laughing and shook her head. "Sorry, I wouldn't like to start off our friendship with a lie. Tharn, here, mentioned it. I couldn't tear my eyes from him that day," she said, gently touching Tharn's arm, who looked down at her lovingly and smiled. 

Type smiled and shook his head, not because he didn't see it coming, but because he understood her completely. He had told Tharn that he was going to be invisible next to him that day and she had just proved his assumption right. 

"It's alright, I knew what I signed up for when I befriended him," Type said smiling at her. "The first time or the second time?" Tharn asked. Type turned his head to look at him and narrowed his eyes. "What do you think?" He said, gesturing at Tharn's face with his hand. 

Tharn laughed at how ludicrous Type was in his delusions. He could see right in front of him that Type was beyond good looking. And Type was also annoyingly much better at sliding him compliments a lot more naturally, unlike himself. He just didn't like the fact that it was in conjunction with self deprecation. He needed to put that whole 'start complimenting him' plan that he hadn't worked on any further back into action eventually. A small part of him figured it was possible he was biased in how he perceived him because he was Type after all. His first ever friend. 

"We're going to be here all day if we don't start now," Tharn said as he gathered them into the car, still thinking about his plan. Pina got into the passenger seat and Type took the back seat.

"So, Mary, my senior who runs the place, is single," Pina said as she turned around her seat to look at Type with a knowing smile on her face. Type broke into a grin, even though he was a little embarrassed that Tharn probably told her about why he was third-wheeling them. "Yeah, sorry for crashing your date."

Pina chuckled and turned to look at Tharn. "You're right. He  _ is _ very cute. Mary will love him," she said. Type's head snapped in Tharn's direction. He wanted to know if he heard her right. Did Tharn really think he was cute? He felt heat rising up his ears. "I'm a guy. How am I cute?" Type asked, staring at Tharn. Tharn looked at his reflection in the rearview mirror and started chuckling at Type's face slowly turning more red than a ripened tomato. On top of that, he looked extremely annoyed, his lips pulled into a little pout unconsciously. "You're adorable!" Tharn confirmed in the most exaggerated cute voice he could manage, which made Type scowl at him. 

Tharn figured that at least he gave him a compliment even though it came across as mocking. Maybe not in the right vein, but baby steps. He had to work his way up to get himself used to complimenting him. 

"I'm sorry Pina, but I think I'm going to push your new boyfriend off the zip-lining platform today." Type stared him down angrily.

"That's the whole point of zip-lining. How is that a threat?" Tharn asked, looking at Type from the rear view mirror and Pina started laughing. Type felt silly for not thinking his threat through. "Okay, maybe I'll accidentally snap your harness before I push you off the platform," he said staring into Tharn's eyes in the rearview mirror. He saw the crinkles start to appear around Tharn's eyes as he started laughing. "That's conspiracy to murder and you've just confessed it to your victim  _ and _ a witness. Maybe you should start thinking things through," Tharn said. "Or, you know, generally start thinking more," he added and started cackling at his own joke. 

Type, remembering what he had told him the day before about him not thinking too much about anything, felt like he was losing to Tharn again because he was too smart for his own good. Type suddenly recalled something. He smirked as he decided to take Tharn thinking of him as simple minded and ran with it. 

"I can put my whole fist in my mouth. Wanna see?" Type said in English as he pretended to bring a closed fist to his open mouth. Tharn, seeing him referencing the movie he had told him to watch yesterday, started laughing even harder. Type, seeing Tharn laughing so hard that it turned into silent, sharp gasps, couldn't control himself any further and started laughing too.

"What is happening?" Pina asked, looking back and forth between Tharn and Type who were currently losing their respective shits. "Nothing, babe. It's just…." Tharn began to say. "It's like he has ESPN or something," he added in English and Type bent forward to grab his already aching stomach as he fell into another fit of laughter. 

"You really are childhood friends, aren't you?" She asked with a shake of her head and smiled. "Yeah. Type was my first friend ever," Tharn said, turning to look at Type and then back at Pina. 

Type immediately stopped laughing. He looked at Tharn with eyes as big as saucers. He couldn't believe his ears. He just thought that Tharn was quite in school. He didn't know that Type was actually the first friend he ever made. He suddenly felt a pang of hurt in his chest when he pictured young Tharn in his mind. 

As he looked at the person Tharn had grown into, sitting in front of him, he felt a little pride in himself for breaking the ice with Tharn back then. He was glad he took that step. He was also happy because they got along like a house on fire, even after years of not being in touch, and smiled to himself wistfully as he looked out the window. 

Tharn looked at Type's reflection in the rearview mirror and saw the smile on his face, which made him smile at the memory of how Type made him open up as children. Type was a transformative force in his life. He always appreciated and thought about him through the years that passed and was glad to finally have him back in his life again. 

°°°

  
  
  


Pina ran ahead of Tharn and Type to greet her friend. She turned around and pointed at them as she spoke to her in a hushed tone and they both began to smile like they had just exchanged a secret. Type understood that Pina was telling her friend about Tharn. Tharn knew that she was showing Type to her friend. They both walked up to the girls with those conflicting thoughts in their minds.

"This is Tharn, my boyfriend," Pina said, introducing them. "And this…." She said as she smiled wider and gestured to her friend with her eyes, "....is Type." Mary smiled at Type and he smiled back. "Let me guess, Mary?" Type asked, widening his smile. 

"Oh, you already know me?"

"Of course. How could I not? I heard that this is the best zip-lining place in the area."

"This is the only zip-lining place in the area," Mary said with an amused smile. 

"Then I'm still right, aren't I? This  _ is _ the best zip-lining place in the area."

"Pina told you about me, didn't she?" Mary asked with a smirk. Type slipped her a sheepish smile and nodded. "Yeah." 

"Because you complimented our establishment with such enthusiasm, I'll let you go twice," she said and Type widened his eyes immediately. "Really?" He asked, half-screaming in excitement. Tharn burst into a chuckle at how fast Type lost track of the flirt he had going on with Mary at the prospect of getting to zip-line twice. He was right. Type was still a little kid at heart. And he was…. adorable. 

Mary took them inside and gave them the safety instructions as she hooked them up with their harnesses. Type decided to go first and he sat down on the harness. He looked back at Tharn and waved excitedly as Mary launched him down the line. Tharn couldn't help but see flashes of the younger Type in the absolute joy that coloured his face and smiled. 

"Are you going next?" Pina asked, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts. Tharn nodded and fastened his harness on the line. He flew down the line looking at the expanse of the forest that lay under his feet. It was beautiful. He was really glad Pina brought him here. She was the most fun girl he had ever met and he felt lucky to date her. 

He looked at the platform he was approaching and saw Type excitedly waving at him. He immediately broke into a smile at his enthusiasm. He couldn't help but think that Type was still that little boy he was friends with, waving at him the same way he had done all those years back. 

Type had loved the adrenaline rush that flying down the zip-line gave him. He finally could see how birds felt when they soared through the sky. He was so happy that Tharn dragged him here. He was even happier for Tharn for finding someone who was so adventurous like Pina. 

With that thought in mind, when he saw Tharn's red helmet coming down the zip-line from afar, he started jumping in the air, waving wildly at him in pure excitement. He felt so much unadulterated joy in the moment, he could burst. He hadn't felt this happy since they were kids and Tharn invited him to his birthday party where they slid down the waterslide in his pool over and over again. He realised that Tharn was always meant to be his friend since they were little kids, because he was the one common factor associated with the best memories he had so far, the current one included. He was glad to have him back in his life. 

"Wasn't that so much fun?" Type asked excitedly as Tharn removed the harness from the line. "Yeah! It reminded me of this memory I had from our childhood. I don't know if you remember, but you were part of it. It was so long ago, so I'm sure you've forgotten it."

"The waterslide?" Type asked. Tharn turned to him, surprised. "How did you know?" 

"I was thinking the same thing. That was a big slide. Your parents really sprung for the best for your birthday. I thought you were the luckiest kid!" Type said grinning at him. Tharn felt his chest tighten at his words. "Yeah, they got an adult slide. Now that I think about it, that was probably sort of dangerous for how small we were back then," he said with a small smile on his face. 

"Really? I remember it being big, but I thought it just felt big because we were so little," Type said chuckling. "No, it was a regular slide for adults. My parents wanted to get me the biggest slide because it was the first time I invited a friend over for my birthday," he said as he smiled at recalling that memory. Type felt a twinge of hurt in his chest at Tharn's words. He remembered he was the only young invitee at that party, but he didn't think it was strange because his brother and his extended family were there. But they had so much fun. They really didn't need anyone else there, now that he thought about it. More people meant that they wouldn't get to have as many turns on the slide as they got to have.

"Did you guys enjoy the zip-lining?" Pina asked and they both turned around to look at her unfastening herself from the line. Tharn felt guilt crawling up his chest for forgetting to wave to her as she came down like Type had, because it felt really nice to see someone waiting for you at the end of the line, but he was just so engrossed in conversation with Type that he lost track of what they were doing. 

"Yeah! It was the best! Thanks for letting me tag along," Type said, smiling at Pina, saving Tharn from having to say anything. "Don't mention it! Any friend of Tharn's is a friend of mine. You can join us whenever we go out to do these kinds of things," she said. Type immediately perked up at the idea and Tharn, looking at how excited Type got, felt a slow happiness bloom in his chest. 

"Are you sure? I really don't want to be intruding in you guys' dates all the time," Type said with a bit of unsurity. "Don't worry about it. We have separate dates for just the two of us. When we're doing something more adventurous, it's more fun with more people," she assured Type. Tharn put his arm around her waist, marveling at how understanding and amazing she was. He felt like the luckiest guy to be dating such a wonderful and welcoming person.

"Okay, then don't mind if I do! I'll head up for my second turn. See you guys!" He said and Pina waved at him. 

Type couldn't help but think that Tharn was the luckiest man to be dating such a fun girl like Pina. He was truly happy for him. He couldn't believe he was so jealous of the fact that he started dating someone before him, because Pina was amazing. Not only was she beautiful and adventurous, she was also the nicest girl ever. Tharn deserved her. He deserved this much happiness after what he had learned about Tharn. He had been through a lot. He deserved everything good that came to him.

Type reached up and zip-lined down again. He looked down to see Tharn's red helmet bobbing in the distance as he excitedly waved to Type from the platform and felt happiness blooming in his chest. 

°°°

  
  
  


"Here! Here! Stop!" Pina said excitedly, pointing at a small shack like place in the middle of nowhere. Tharn stopped the car and leaned down to look out her window, wondering if this was really the restaurant Mary had told them about, because there were no signages. It just looked like a rundown shack with a few benches and tables. "Are you sure this is right?" Tharn asked, narrowing his eyes to see the place better.

"Yes! She said there would be a pile of blue crates outside. See?" She said as she pointed at the crates that had tumbled over due to age or weather. He wasn't sure. 

Type stared out his window, having the same reservations as Tharn. He couldn't believe that this place really had the best food in the area. 

"Let's go! She said they shut before sundown. We only have half an hour," Pina said as she jumped out the car to walk to the restaurant. Tharn turned to look at Type who had the same skeptical look on his face. They silently nodded at each other and exited the car. 

"We'll have one fish curry, one spicy shrimp, one fried chillies and three steamed rice," Pina said to the old woman taking their order. Tharn, who had been unsure if they were in the right place, was now terrified because all the dishes she had ordered were too spicy for his palate, but felt a little embarrassed to order something different. He didn't want to come off like a child who couldn't stomach spicy food. Especially because she was older than him already. He prepared himself for what was to come. 

As soon as the food was served, Type started to enthusiastically serve himself big portions of everything on the table because every dish was exactly to his taste. He handed the spicy shrimp to Tharn, when he paused for a second. Tharn had a pained expression on his face, but took the dish from him and started ladling it on his plate.

Type dug into his food, keeping an eye on Tharn the whole time. He saw that Tharn took very small amounts of the side dishes, contrasting the pile of rice on his plate. He saw the way his face contorted as he took every bite, turning redder with every bite. He understood what was happening. 

"This is so delicious! The spiciness of the curry goes perfectly with the fish," Pina said excitedly and looked down at Tharn's plate. "Why aren't you eating more? Here, have more of the fish curry. It's amazing!" Pina said as she leaned to pick it up.

Type saw the horror reflected in Tharn's eyes and immediately grabbed the dish before Pina had a chance to touch it. Tharn and Pina turned to look at him, surprised. "I…. I just wanted another helping. I'm really hungry," Type said sheepishly, making Pina chuckle. "Go ahead," she said, settling back on her seat. 

He looked up to see the thankful look on Tharn's face and smiled at him. Type wasn't going to let Tharn look uncool in front of his new girlfriend. He looked at the dish and it was still half-full. He internally sighed and brought the dish up to his plate. 

He tipped the dish a little to pretend he was trying to ladle the curry out and 'accidentally' tipped the whole dish on top of his rice. "Oh my god! It slipped! I'm so sorry, Tharn!" Type said, hamming it up. 

Tharn, having caught the whole performance, had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from laughing at his friend's terrible acting skills. He was just glad that Type didn't aim to be an actor. "Oh, it's fine. I'm not really that hungry," Tharn said. He looked up at Type, when a genius idea came to his mind. 

"You should eat some more. You said you were hungry, right?" Tharn asked with a playful smirk as he grabbed the spicy prawns and started ladling almost the whole dish on top of the current pile of food on Type's plate. The prawns were worse than the curry and Tharn did not want to have to eat more of it. Since Type had so generously offered to silently help him out, he decided to take full advantage of it. He also wanted to see Type trying to finish that amount of food. He felt a little evil and that excited him to no end. 

Type stared at Tharn, who was smirking at him and piling more food on his plate, trying to contain the shock. He wanted to save him from embarrassment in front of his new girlfriend, but he hadn't signed up for finishing everything on the table to do that. He looked wide eyed at the pile of food in front of him and then back at Tharn, wanting to smack that smirk off his face, knowing he couldn't protest in front of Pina. That was the whole reason he was doing this in the first place.

Type sighed, knowing he needed to be a good friend. He was basically intruding on their date. He felt like this was the least he could do for Tharn. He spooned a bit of the food and started on the pile, his mind already starting to formulate plans to get Tharn back for this. 

Tharn smiled happily as he continued to eat his food, the spiciness not affecting him as much because he had Type's misery to distract him from it. He was really happy that he had Type back in his life. Especially at that moment as he saw Type's eyes starting to roll to the back of his head, trying to finish all the food on his plate.

Pina, having caught the whole performance they had put on, bit into her spoon to stop herself from smiling. She looked at them through her peripherals, trying to contain herself.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading chapter 4! I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can because I'm going to be busy for the next few days.
> 
> I hope this chapter was a fun read!


	5. 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You're always busy on the weekends. Are you seeing someone?" Kemp asked. Type turned around and scoffed. "Yeah, it feels like I am," he said. Kemp was intrigued by that. "Wait, really? How come you didn't tell me you've started seeing someone?" He asked, a little surprised.

"Do you want to watch a movie this weekend?" Kemp asked as the bell rang to signal their break time. Type looked at him and considered it for a second. Tharn was going to go out with Pina, he presumed, and he would only be third-wheeling. He figured he could let Tharn spend one weekend with his girlfriend but, before he could answer, his phone dinged.

'You want to come over to watch a movie at my place on Saturday?'

'Why? Don't you have a date with Pina?'

'No, she's going home to Phuket for the weekend. I'm going to be all alone and wallowing in sadness. 

Since you're single and lonely as well, I guess you won't mind being sad and lonely with me.'

'Dick.

Fine. 

But not because I want to. 

I just don't have plans. 

Don't be surprised if I ditch you if something comes up though.'

'You have hung out with me every weekend since we met. I think I can be quite certain that you have nothing else going on for you at this point.'

'Fuck you!'

'Hahahaha! I'll send you my address. Come over by 12?'

'Whatever.'

'Are you going to ditch me?'

'Not yet. But I might.'

'Why? I'm such a delight to be around.'

'Can you stop sucking your own dick for one second?'

'I have no other option. 

At least for this weekend.'

'Wow! Now you're just rubbing it in my face, aren't you? 

Do you want me to be happy that you're getting some?'

'Duh! What are friends for? Friends should be happy if their friend is getting some.

Multiple times a week.'

'You fucking bastard!

Just you wait and see. 

I'm going to find a girl 10 times hotter and constantly be on her. We'll talk then.'

'Don't you mean 'in' her?

She's not a bench at the bowling alley.'

'Fuck you, man!

I'm 100% going to make sure I find plans so I don't have to hang out with you.'

'Okay. Good luck with that. See you Saturday!'

'Asshole'

"So? What do you say?" Kemp asked again when he saw Type finally putting his phone down. Type suddenly remembered that Kemp had asked him to hang out on the weekend, giving him the best opportunity to ditch Tharn for being a dickhead to him. But he also really wanted to see where Tharn lived.

"I have plans. Sorry, man," Type said, getting up to head to the cafeteria. Kemp followed after him with a frustrated smile on his face. "You're always busy on the weekends. Are you seeing someone?" Kemp asked. Type turned around and scoffed. "Yeah, it feels like I am," he said. Kemp was intrigued by that. "Wait, really? How come you didn't tell me you've started seeing someone?" He asked, a little surprised. Type turned to look at him and chuckled at Kemp taking him seriously. 

"I'm meeting my childhood friend. We met on the first day of college. We've been hanging out every weekend to reconnect because I haven't seen him since we were in primary school. His girlfriend is out of town so he's a little depressed. I'm trying to be a good friend by hanging out with his , lonely ass," he said walking into the cafeteria. "Oh, that's nice. Maybe next time then?" Kemp asked as he grabbed his plate of lunch. Type looked at him and nodded.

°°°

  
  


"So nothing came up?" Tharn asked with a smirk once he opened the door to let Type into his apartment. Type pushed past him, already annoyed at choosing to come here instead of hanging out with Kemp, but his annoyance quickly turned to abject surprise when he walked into the living room. It was spacious and **huge**. It had an open plan kitchen and dining room on a platform to one side with French windows on the opposite wall from the entrance that opened up to a balcony on the other side. He was shocked at how Tharn was living in such a big apartment alone.

"What the fuck, dude?! When you said you lived alone, I thought you meant you lived in a studio like other students. This is a freaking mansion!" Type said as he turned to look at Tharn, not concealing the shock in his voice one bit. 

"My parents wanted me to have a nice place since I would be living away from home. I fought with them a lot to let me live in a smaller place. You should have seen the first place they suggested. That was a duplex with a giant chandelier hanging above the foyer. We came to an agreement and settled on something in between both our choices. So, that's how I came to live here," Tharn said, walking over to the big L-shaped sofa and settled down. Type followed him and sat down next to him, still reeling from his story. "How rich are you?" Type asked seriously and Tharn started chuckling.

"I'm not rich. My parents are," he said. "Whatever. I couldn't even dream of living in a place like this in the middle of the city," Type said, mostly to himself, as he looked around the room. 

"Can we watch the movie now?" Tharn asked, trying to change the topic. He was uncomfortable living in that apartment himself and he didn't want someone else confirming his doubts because he had fought very hard with his parents to let him stay away from home. That apartment was the only compromise that made them agree to let him live on his own. 

"What is this movie?" Type asked, pulling Tharn out of his thoughts. "Don't know. Pina told me to watch it. We'll find out together," Tharn said as he started it. Type settled down comfortably on the sofa as the starting credits rolled on. 

°°°

  
  


The movie was boring as hell. There was no rhyme or reason to what was happening. The plot was rushed in some places and painfully slow in the others. They had to keep their eyes glued to the screen to not fall asleep. 

A scene where the girl was changing a flat started playing and Type sat up with interest. "That makes no sense. That tyre doesn't even look like it belongs to the car," he said pointing at the screen. 

"Yeah, but it does. It came from the trunk, didn't you see?" Tharn said turning to Type. "I know what you mean, but it's obviously not a part of the set. It just looks so different. It has so much wear to it."

"Yeah, but it's still part of the set."

"It can't be! Don't you see the tyre she changed lying on the ground?" Type said. Tharn rewound the scene to see the 'flat' tyre on the floor. "Yeah, but it's still part of the set."

"It can't be! This is supposed to be the spare tyre! When you buy a car, you get five tyres. You can see how all the rest of the tyres are all new but this one spare one looks so old and run down, which means it's not part of the set of tyres from the car. Don't you understand what I'm saying?" Type said, frustrated at him. He wondered if Tharn's eyes were only decorative pieces on his face.

"No, I understood your point, but you didn't understand mine. I have a car. I know that you change the tyres every year or so because of the wear they go through. So that spare might have been from the older set," Tharn explained.

"But the hubcap also looks different! Don't you see that the rest of the caps look new and this one looks so different." Type couldn't understand why Tharn couldn't see the obvious discrepancy in the prop.

"Yes, but those are removable. The hubcap is put on top after you fix the tire in place," Tharn said exasperatedly. He couldn't understand why Type was so bullheaded when he obviously didn't seem to have any idea about cars at all. He wondered if he had even sat in one at that point.

"But the whole construction of the tire looks so different," Type argued, convinced he was right.

"Yes! Because the hubcap has not been placed on top yet!" Tharn said, pointing angrily at the screen. He rewound the scene again and walked up to the TV and pointed at the tyre on the back, then the front to show Type what he meant. Type looked at the tyres again, not entirely convinced, but seeing Tharn getting so worked up made him suddenly realise the ridiculousness of their current topic of debate and he leaned back into the couch, eyes crinkling in amusement, as he began to start chuckling. 

Tharn snapped his head in his direction, and saw Type laughing at him. He turned to stare at his finger that was pressed hard on the TV screen and back at Type who was leaning back into the sofa and cackling. The realisation that he had been very animatedly and angrily pointing at the screen slowly came to his consciousness, along with a bit of embarrassment. He put his hand down and started laughing too. 

"I can't believe we had a whole ass heated debate about the tyres of a car, when it's so inconsequential in the movie, for this long," Type said, still laughing. Tharn started chuckling at the ludicrousness of it all too. 

"Yeah, because this movie is so goddamn boring. That was literally the most interesting part. At least it gave us something to discuss," Tharn said walking back to the sofa and taking his seat. Type started laughing at how true Tharn's words rang. "I don't want to watch this anymore. It's making my brain hurt," he said looking at Tharn, already having had enough. 

"It's making my brain hurt too. It's just so nonsensical. You want to play some games instead?" Tharn asked. Type perked up at the suggestion but he suddenly remembered what Tharn had told him. 

"Wait, didn't Pina ask you to watch this movie? Shouldn't we try to finish it so you can tell her you watched it?" Type asked. Tharn realised Type was right, but he just couldn't handle watching another second of it. It had already given him five aneurysms. "I'll just read the plot online and tell her I loved it," he said grinning at Type. Type raised his eyebrows in surprise and started chuckling again. 

"You're going to lie to her? Isn't it bad to lie to your partner?" Type asked. "I'm not lying about a big thing. It's not like I'm dating someone on the side. I'm just telling her that I watched her favourite movie and I loved it so I don't hurt her feelings."

"Still, a lie is still a lie," Type said, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Okay, since you're so concerned for me, let's just continue watching the movie and forget about the game then," Tharn said as he reached for the remote. Type, at the thought of having to watch even another minute of the mind-numbing movie, grabbed at the remote and snatched it away from Tharn. Tharn turned to look at Type in amusement. 

"Fine. I'll Google the plot. You start the game," he said as he pulled out his phone to look up the movie. Tharn chuckled and got up to walk to the console. He inserted a game and walked back to the sofa. He settled back into his seat and handed Type his controller. 

Type summarised the story from the part they had stopped at and Tharn rolled his eyes at how convoluted the plot was. 

They played games till the sun went down, each basking in the joy of reconnecting with an old friend. 

°°°

  
  


"It's really late. I should head out before my dorm shuts," Type said, pushing himself off the sofa. He was still stuffed from all the snacks they had consumed throughout the day. 

"You can stay over. I have a spare room," Tharn said, getting up. Type turned to look at him as he tried to rationalise whether he should stay over. His dorm-mate was an early riser and he didn't want to disturb him by walking in so late, even if it was the weekend. He looked down at his watch to see that he might not make it in time even if he started right then. 

"Fine. But only because I might not make it before closing," Type said as he sat back down. Tharn smiled, realising it meant that he was having another sleepover with Type, remembering the first sleepover they had as kids. He remembered how jealous he got when Type told him he used to sleepover with his friend all the time and practically begged his parents to let him sleepover at Type's place when he offered Tharn to come over one weekend. He recalled going to Type's house, where they stayed up watching reruns of Swat Kats till very late. That was one of the happiest memories he had of their friendship back then. He was so thankful to have a friend to have such an experience with. His lips unwittingly turned up into a smile at the entirety of that memory as he looked at Type.

"You want to watch Swat Kats?" Tharn asked as he looked fondly at Type who beamed up at his suggestion. "Yes! We loved that show as kids! Remember when my mother came to scold us for staying up too late watching it when you had come over to my place?" 

Tharn stared at him wide eyed, surprised that he still remembered. He assumed their friendship didn't mean as much to Type as it did to him because Type had a lot of friends. Type was special to him because he was the first friend he ever made so all the memories of him were still fresh in his mind. He felt a familiar happiness starting to warm up his insides at the realisation that Type remembered almost everything he did. 

"Yeah, that's why I suggested it. That was the first sleepover I had been to in my life and I still remember how much fun we had," Tharn said smiling at Type. 

Type felt wistful at his words. He remembered how much fun he also had back then. He remembered how Tharn tucked him into bed, even though he was much smaller than Type back then, and how comforted he had felt. Realising this was probably not the best time to reminisce about the past, it was the time to make new memories, he quickly shook the thought off and looked back at Tharn. "Let's watch it. Anything to wash away what that movie did to my brain is appreciated." Tharn lightly laughed and searched it up on his TV. 

They stayed up most of the night watching their childhood cartoon show and they loved it as much as they did when they were kids. Type laid down on the couch, feeling extremely relaxed, his favourite TV show playing on loop, with the silent, comforting presence of his friend next to him. He was slowly lulled to sleep.

Tharn turned to see that Type had fallen asleep sometime at dawn. He got up to get him a blanket from his room. He walked back with a duvet, tucked him in, turned off the TV and walked to his bedroom. He was happy that he was reliving all his best memories from his childhood with the friend he thought he had lost forever over again. 

He had been worried about Type bringing up the topic of Mary. Pina had mentioned to him that Mary thought Type was too young for her. He was unsure about what to say to him about it had he asked about her. He felt a sense of relief because Type never even mentioned her. With the thoughts of the day they had just spent together, he slowly drifted off to sleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm literally half asleep right now, but I wanted to get this out. I'll fix and edit it later if I don't like it when I'm more conscious.
> 
> Thank you for reading chapter 5!


	6. 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Type quickly shut his phone and jumped into the shower to wet his hair and his body so it looked like he actually took a shower instead of having been sat on the pot, taking sex advice from his friend. 

The next weekend, Pina took Tharn and Type for a hike. She had found out about a hiking trail from her friends that was a few hours outside the city and decided she wanted to go see it. In the usual fashion of how those trips shook up, Tharn was more than happy to join her and Type was quite excited to reach the waterfall at the end of the trail because Pina had told him about how beautifully blue the pool was. 

"This is amazing!" Type screamed excitedly as they finally walked up to the pool after a long, hard trek. Tharn, seeing how excited Type got, was equally as delighted. Over the time they had spent together, he knew he wanted to see Type be that happy for as long as he was going to be in his life. He stood with his arm around Pina and bent down to kiss her cheek. She was truly the best girlfriend one could ask for. She had proved it time and time again. The absolute joy on Type's face in the moment being the perfect example.

Pina loosened herself from his grip and started walking towards the pool. Tharn stared at her, confused as to why she would walk away from him when he had just kissed her. She turned around to face him and took off her shirt. "Aren't you coming in?" She asked playfully and Tharn beamed at her. 

He quickly took off his clothes and ran after her. He scooped her into his arms, walked on to a small ledge and jumped into the water, pulling a delightful squeal from her. Type, seeing them frolicking in the water, proceeded to take off his clothes and jumped into the pool after them. 

The water felt like a soothing balm to his tired body. They had been trekking for over four hours and the water, making his limbs feel like they weighed nothing, felt extremely relaxing. He floated belly-up and stared at the clouds breaking the view of the brilliant blue backdrop of the sky. It was blissful. He felt at ease. His mind finally quiet after a very long time. 

°°°

  
  
  


Pina, Tharn and Type became somewhat of the three musketeers over the next few months, falling into a routine of going to do something adventurous several times in a month, all on Pina's suggestion. On the few weekends she'd go to visit home, Tharn and Type would hang out, go bowling, or just laze around at his house, playing video games. They breezed through the first semester in that comfortable routine.

Tharn was happy to have not only his friend back, but also the best girlfriend one could hope for. Type was happy to be in their lives. He was as thankful to have Tharn back in his life and he was glad that he had found Pina. He was convinced over the time he spent with them that she was the best girlfriend ever for Tharn. Seeing how happy she made him, he knew he wouldn't want it any other way. Tharn's happiness had somehow become an unconscious priority to him. It made him happy.

°°°

  
  
  


"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to the freshmen management class?" A voice called behind Type, who was on his way to class on the first day of the new semester. He turned around to come face to face with the most beautiful girl he had ever laid eyes on. She had long blonde hair down to her waist, blue eyes, and freckles dusting her perfect nose. He was dumbfounded at the sight of her. "I'm sorry, I guess you don't understand me," she said in beautifully accented English as she smiled and started walking away. 

Type slapped himself for standing like an idiot and staring at her without saying a word. He quickly ran up to her and stopped in front of her. She looked up at him, a little taken aback, as she came to a stop inches from his body. 

"Sorry, I'm in freshmen management. You can come with me. I'm heading to class too," he said with a smile and stepped back to give her some room. He could see she was a little taken aback by his hurried action. "Oh, really? I'm sorry, I thought I was in the wrong place. This is the international building, right?" She asked. "Yes, it is. Are you an exchange student?" 

"Yes, I am. I'm Nicolette," she said introducing herself. "That's such a beautiful name. I'm Type," he said, extending his arm for a handshake. She looked down at his hand, extended hers to shake it and smiled. 

"I thought you did this to say hello here," she said, pressing her palms together to make a wai*. Type laughed at the awkward way she brought her palms together in front of her face. "Yeah, it's more like…." Type said as he bent down to show her how a wai* was done. She realised how awkwardly she had executed her wai* when she saw how gracefully Type bent his torso as he brought his palms together in front of his face. She started to laugh and Type joined in the laughter.

"So where are you from?" He asked her as they made their way to the classroom. "France."

"Really? That's amazing. So how come you picked Bangkok for an exchange program?" He asked curiously. "I just wanted to come to Asia in general. I picked Bangkok because I love beaches and Thailand has so many. I'm planning to travel to a different beach every weekend. Make the most of my semester here," she said, her lips turning up into a smile. Type smiled back at her, mesmerised by how her eyes changed colour with the light. He marveled at how adventurous her plan to go to a beach every weekend sounded. He figured she would be instant friends with Pina. 

"You can guide me and tell me which beaches to go to since you're from here, right?" She asked as she looked up at Type with her hypnotising eyes once more. "Yeah, of course. I can even accompany you if you want. Don't have much going on during the weekends anyway," Type said, even though he did have something lined up for the weekends, but he wasn't going to pass up the chance to hang out with her. 

"Really? That would be great actually. People here really are very nice, just like they had told me before I came," she said. Type smiled at her, feeling a little guilty. He mostly just wanted to see her in a bikini.

He guided her to a seat next to him. Kemp looked up at him quizzically. Type just nodded at him and continued his conversation with her till the professor came to class. 

°°°

  
  


'Can't make it for rock climbing this weekend.'

'Why? Are you sick?'

'You could say that.

Lovesick.'

'What?'

'I met someone.'

'Hahahahaha!'

'I'm serious. I'm going down to Pattaya with her on the weekend.'

'Wait, what? For real?'

'Of course. Why would I lie?'

'How?

Where?

When?

How?'

'Wouldn't you want to know?

I'm not telling.'

'Because you made her up?

I knew it.'

'No, you dick. She's an exchange student who just joined our class. She wanted to go to the beach so I decided to accompany her because she doesn't know her way around and can't speak Thai.'

'What happened to you not wanting to date a classmate?'

'She's only going to be here for a semester.

And, we're not dating. 

Yet.'

'So you're just going to Pattaya with her over the weekend for what? A friendly sleepover?'

'Hopefully it can become a friendly sleepover.

The friendlier the better.'

'You dog!'

'You're not allowed to judge me. You've had a girlfriend for months. I'm finally getting to hang out with a hot girl one on one. You better believe I'm using every move in my roster to get her to date me.'

'Type.'

'Are you going to lecture me?'

'No'

'Then what?'

'I'm really happy for you. I hope she makes you happy.'

Type dropped his phone immediately out of embarrassment. How was he supposed to reply to a message like that? Tharn was never serious with him. He felt heat travelling up his face at Tharn saying something genuinely nice to him for the first time. Unless….

'You're mocking me, aren't you?'

'Why would I be mocking you?'

'Because it's you. When have you ever said something nice to me?'

'I think I have.'

'I don't recall it.'

'That's because you don't really listen when I talk.'

'What?'

'Nothing. 

Have fun this weekend. 

Pina will be disappointed to not have you with us. I'll try my best to cheer her up after.'

'Gross. I don't want to hear about your sex life.'

'Why? You might have one too after this weekend.

Don't you want someone to boast about it to?'

'That does make sense. 

But still.

Gross.'

'I'm going to be all ears for everything you're going to do this weekend so you don't need to hold back. I don't have a stick up my ass like you.'

'I'll stick it up your ass.'

'Wow, really?

Can't wait.'

'Dick.'

'Yes, what else?'

'Asshole!'

'Of course, where else?'

'Arghhh!

Goodbye, pervert!'

  
  


Tharn chuckled at the last text, imagining Type's face as he would have furiously typed that last message on his phone. 

"Babe, Type can't make it this weekend," Tharn said as he bent down to place a kiss on Pina's cheek, who was lying down next to him. "Why? Is he okay?" She asked, feeling a little concerned as she looked up at Tharn. "He's fine. He said he's going to Pattaya with this girl."

"What? Really?" Pina pushed herself up to a sitting position. "Yeah. A new exchange student from his class," he said, smiling at her. She started to lean back and he put his arm around her waist before she leaned fully back into the headboard. "I'm glad. Should we be expecting him to bring her along for our next escapade?" She asked. 

Tharn gave it a thought and figured it was possible. Maybe Type would finally have someone, much like he had Pina, and it made him happy for his friend. He felt a little emotional thinking about Type finally, potentially finding a girlfriend after months of complaining to him. "Maybe. We'll have to see if he plays his cards right. He's been sad about being single for too long. I'm praying for him," he said as he turned to smile at Pina. 

Pina leaned closer to his face and kissed him on the lips. "You may not have to. Who knows? Maybe the girl will play hers right," she said as she moved to straddle him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Tharn cocked his eyebrows at her and smiled. "Like you did?" He asked as he moved his face closer to hers. 

"Yeah. Because I knew that you were too nice a guy who was probably going to wait till the third date to even hold my hand," she said, pecking his lips. "You really think so?" Tharn said as he grabbed her hips to pull her closer. "It was just an assumption at first, but we've been together long enough for me to _know_ so," she said with a smirk. 

Tharn decided he was going to wipe that smirk off her face as he lifted her and threw her down on the bed. He took his shirt off, flung it to the side and bent down to capture her lips in a hungry kiss as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

°°°

  
  


"This is such a beautiful place!" Nicolette said, opening the door to their room as they walked back from having dinner at a shack along the beach. 

Type was extremely nervous. They had decided to get a room together to save on renting two rooms. He had never slept with a woman before and he could feel that it was going to happen, given how much she had been flirting with him all day. She had even kissed him when they were swimming which had taken him by surprise, but he kissed her back. It was nice. He was excited as hell for the night but also very nervous. He didn't know the first thing he was supposed to do when it came to sex. 

"I'll just take a quick shower," he said as he practically ran to the bathroom and locked himself in. He turned the shower on and sat on the commode, trying to think how he should proceed, when it suddenly came to him.

'Are you busy?'

'No. Why?'

'I think she wants to have sex with me.

I'm freaking out.

What do I do?'

'I don't know?

Have sex with her?'

'Thanks, genius!'

'Okay, if that'll be all….'

'No!

Asshole!

Tharn!

Help me!

What am I supposed to do?'

'Hahahaha!

Firstly, you need to calm down. 

Is this your first time?'

'No'

'Then why are you so nervous?

Just do what you did the first time.'

'I mean, yes.

It's my first time.'

'Oh.

Okay, first make sure you have protection.'

'Already bought the condoms.'

'So you came prepared?

You knew this was happening, right?'

'Yes. I assumed because she kissed me when we went swimming in the daytime.

But I don't know what I'm supposed to do beyond that.'

'Okay, just take your time with it. Explore. Touch her all over to see what elicits the most responses and do more of that. 

Make sure to spend your time on foreplay before you get to the main business. 

You need to get her nice and ready before you do it. If you can make her come before the actual sex, she's going to enjoy it more.'

'How do I do that? With my hands? My mouth?'

'Everything. You need to use your hands, mouth, tongue on every part of her. Just do what I told you. Try everything and see what makes her feel good and do more of that.'

'Okay. Here goes nothing. Thanks, dude.

I'll see you on the other side.'

'Have fun losing your virginity!'

'Asshole!'

'You're really going for anal the first time?'

'I don't have time for this.

I'm about to have sex.

With a woman.

Fuck off.'

'Good luck!'

Type quickly shut his phone and jumped into the shower to wet his hair and his body so it looked like he actually took a shower instead of having been sat on the pot, taking sex advice from his friend. 

He took a deep breath and walked out of the shower to see Nicolette lying on the bed with nothing but her tiny bikini on, something he had been gawking at since he saw it, and a shirt with the front entirely open. He gulped at the sight.

"Are you going to make me wait all night?" She asked seductively. Type was shaking inside but put on a smirk on his face as he sauntered to the bed, feigning confidence. She got up and moved to sit at the edge of the bed. 

Type cupped her right cheek and bent down to kiss her lips. She wrapped her arms around his waist as she pulled him into bed. Type tried to remember everything Tharn had told him and started to move his other hand over her body and she moaned when his hand brushed against her nipple. He thanked Tharn mentally as he proceeded to kiss her neck and slowly moved down, peppering his path with light kises. He reached her chest and put his mouth on her clothed breast, eliciting an immediate response from her as she arched her back up in pleasure. 

  
  
  
  
  


*wai- Traditional Thai greeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've finally reached the first plot point. The ones who are going to stick with this story from this point on, do strap yourself in because we'll be going on a whole ass adventure. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Thank you to my beta, SB.


	7. 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Type sat down with the tray of food and began digging in, Tharn turned to look at him. "So, are you ready to talk about it?" He asked. Type, knowing that he had to eventually talk about it as he had specifically called Tharn for that purpose, swallowed the bite in his mouth and sighed. "We had our first fight."

Tharn had been clacking away at his computer, trying to fix the pesky bug in the code that was making the simulation glitchy in certain fight scenes. He had been at it for hours at that point. He couldn't figure it out, mostly because he hadn't taken a break in 7 hours and his mind had stopped working, but he couldn't give up. He would have been lonely and bored with Pina not around, because she had gone home for the weekend again, and Type being busy with his new girlfriend. He figured fiddling with his coding was the best distraction because he didn't want to drive all the way home, even though his mom had asked him to come home when he had mentioned to her that he didn't have any plans for the weekend. He figured he'd use that time to get a head start on the work he had scheduled for the next week. 

He was happy for Type when he told him that he had finally started dating Nicolette. He had even sent him several pictures of them from their weekend getaways and he had to admit, she was extremely beautiful. He could see that Type had made good on his threat that he had made to him months ago. And because of it, he hadn't seen Type for weeks.

He smiled to himself as he came back to what he was doing. He sighed and started typing a line of code again, throwing everything he could manage at it in his reduced capability, when his phone's message tone went off. 

'Are you and Pina doing something today?'

He was surprised to hear from Type on a weekend. He hadn't met him for over a month, with him being with his new girlfriend every weekend. He hadn't realised that he had missed him until he read that message from Type. He guessed by the tone of it that he was finally going to see him after what had seemed like a year and suddenly felt happy.

'No. Pina went to Phuket for the weekend. I'm at home.'

'Okay. Meet me at the bowling alley in an hour.'

'You're in Bangkok?'

'No, I'm just landing in from Australia.

What do you think?'

'Wow. I'm guessing you're pissed off about something.'

'How the fuck did you know?'

'You're being sarcastic. You only get extra sarcastic when you're pissed off.'

'Whatever.'

'Let me guess, relationship problems?'

'Are you spying on me?

How did you know?'

'Because it's the weekend and you want to hang out with me when I haven't seen you in a month.

Also, you're being extra snappy.'

'Okay, Sherlock. You're right. So are you coming?'

'Sure. 

See you in an hour.'

Tharn was glad to have the distraction because he wasn't getting much done anyway. He figured the break would freshen his mind and help him come back to his problem with renewed energy. He quickly took a shower, changed and left his apartment.

°°°

  
  


Tharn reached the floor of the bowling alley and saw Type near the entrance, pacing around angrily. He wondered what happened for him to look like that. He had never seen Type this angry. It was past the point of adorable. It was bordering on scary. He took a long breath, straightened himself, and walked towards his seething friend. 

"Type," he said carefully, greeting him. Type looked up at him and nodded, immediately turning around to walk into the bowling alley. Tharn followed him with a sigh, knowing that he'd have to give Type some time to cool down before he broached the topic. He figured that a game or two would probably help Type loosen up as he followed him to the counter. 

They played the first round and Tharn won it very easily because Type wasn't as good as him to begin with, but the fact that Type's mind was not in the game at all made things even easier for Tharn. Tharn saw how agitated Type started to get when he lost and realised that he had to rethink his initial strategy. 

°°°

  
  
  


"Oh my god! I won! I fucking won!" Type screamed as Tharn's ball rolled into the gutter in his last turn. "How does it feel to lose? Great doesn't it?" Type said as he pointed excitedly at Tharn. Tharn hung his head in disappointment. "I win! I win! I win!" Type said as he ran circles around Tharn excitedly. Tharn had to bite his lip to not break into a smile. He threw his last turn and was relieved to see how happy it made Type, however, he had to pretend to be disappointed at losing to make it believable. He continued to feign sadness so it made Type feel better. 

They both made their way out of the bowling alley and headed to the food court for the second part of their usual routine. Type, feeling a little guilty at Tharn looking so dejected over losing his first game, offered to buy them the chicken. He was very happy to have won for the first time, but that joy didn't last long when he saw Tharn hanging his head, looking sad for longer than he was comfortable with. He felt bad because he knew how it felt to lose. 

As Type sat down with the tray of food and began digging in, Tharn turned to look at him. "So, are you ready to talk about it?" He asked. Type, knowing that he had to eventually talk about it as he had specifically called Tharn for that purpose, swallowed the bite in his mouth and sighed. "We had our first fight."

"Yeah, I guessed. So what happened?" Tharn asked as he took a bite of his chicken. Type looked at the opposite wall and thought about how to begin. "I don't really know. It was so weird. We were just joking around and talking then she suddenly got really mad. I don't even know what went wrong," he said and turned to look at Tharn. Tharn nodded his head and took a sip of his drink. "What were you guys talking about?"

"Just about how love as an emotion is stupid," Type said as he took a bite of his chicken. Tharn widened his eyes and stared at him for a second. "Of course you had a fight! How can you say something like that to your girlfriend?" Tharn said, laughing. Type narrowed his eyes at him. "I'm not  _ that _ stupid, dumbass.  _ She _ started the topic and I just agreed with her," Type said and Tharn stopped laughing. He stared at him wide eyed once more, surprised this time. "So what was the problem then? Did she want you to disagree with her?"

"No. We were just discussing it and she said a few things about how the idea of love in general is really stupid and that it's made worse by the fact that people believe that love is an emotion that can conquer everything, when it's not true. I just agreed with her," Type said. Tharn somewhat agreed with that notion too. "And what did you say?" Tharn asked. "Nothing much. I just agreed with her point. I just added my perspective to it. I told her that being in love is overrated."

Tharn raised his eyebrows in surprise at how clueless Type could be. He really wasn't good at using the right words to explain his point. He also didn't think things through before he blurted his thoughts out. He could see how she could have misunderstood him. "Type, you can't just say things like that to someone you're dating," Tharn said in a soft voice to not come off like he was attacking Type. "But she said it herself! She said that love was a stupid emotion. I just agreed with her."

Tharn didn't know how to explain what he meant to Type. He needed more information. "So what made her angry?" He asked, trying to pinpoint the issue. Type thought about it for a second and turned to look at Tharn. "She called me an idiot when I said that people take being in love too seriously. After that, she started mouthing me off in French. I don't know what happened because she didn't switch back to English after that."

"Type, do you think I'm stupid?" Tharn asked. Type widened his eyes. "No. What does that have to do with my issue?" Type asked, confused. Tharn lightly chuckled at how dense Type could be. "Because I'm in love with Pina and I'm serious about her."

Type, finally understanding what Tharn meant, felt a pang of guilt at his words. "No, Tharn! That's not what I meant at all. I was just telling her my opinion on it. I don't mean that you are stupid for being in love with Pina. I just meant that being in love is not a catch all, end all situation for relationships to work," he said sincerely. Tharn nodded, finally getting through to Type. "Did you say that to her?" 

Type cocked his head to one side. "No. We weren't talking about relationships. We were talking about love in general," he said. Tharn sighed at the stupidity of the boy sitting in front of him and tried to think about how else to explain what he did wrong without it coming off as an attack. He suddenly had a brilliant idea. 

"Do you want to come over to my place?" Tharn asked. Type furrowed his brows in confusion at the sudden change of topic. "I thought we were going to discuss this further."

"We are. I just want to show you the game I've been working on," Tharn said getting up. Type suddenly perked up at the prospect. He was excited to see what Tharn had been working on for half a year so he followed him out of the mall.

°°°

  
  
  


"Wow! The graphics are so realistic! How long did it take you to render all this?" Type asked as he moved the character around on the screen. "Don't even ask. lt's like I have a constant migraine because of the hours I've poured into this," Tharn said with a chuckle. "It shows. This looks so amazing and the movement of the characters are so life-like."

"Thanks. Do you want to play a small quest?" Tharn asked. Type turned to him and nodded excitedly. Tharn punched a few keys and the screen showed the objective of the quest.

_ 'Make the elders of Harksville accept Dominic's new role as the spirit adventurer's apprentice.' _

"So, Dominic is your sidekick. You are a spirit adventurer and Dominic comes from a village of human cattle herders who have been raising cattle for centuries. The people in the village don't know anything outside of the life they lead. You have to get to the village and talk to the elders to convince them to let Dominic stray from the path that has been set for him before the day he was born. Simple enough, right?" Tharn explained. Type nodded and clicked on  _ 'Accept' _ .

The scene played and Dominic led him to the house of the elders. Type tapped from the options of dialogue according to what he thought would make him win the quest. He greeted the elders and proceeded to ask them to let Dominic follow him. The elders were angered and threw him out of the village. 

He began the quest again and decided to talk to them more before he asked them to let Dominic follow him. He was thrown out of the village again.

He started the quest over and over again with no change in the consequence. He constantly kept being thrown out no matter what he tried. 

After his seventh attempt, he smashed the keyboard in anger and turned to look at Tharn. "What is this bullshit? Is this a trick or something? No matter what I do I can't seem to get through the scene!" Tharn chuckled at Type picking the options he knew he would, which was why he always ended up losing. 

"It's kind of a trick but there is a way you can win. You just need to choose a different path. You're trying to play the scene according to your preconceived notion of how the spirit adventurer would approach the elders," Tharn said pointing at the character on the screen. 

Type stared at the screen and then back at Tharn, utterly confused. "What the fuck? I've literally clicked on every available option but I always end up being chucked out of the gates by Tweedledum and Tweedledee," he said pointing at the guards. Tharn chuckled at how frustrated Type was getting and patted his shoulder. "That's the thing. You think you have chosen every available option but you forgot an important thing…." Tharn said, smirking at him, as Type raised his eyebrows in anticipation. ".... you have to approach them the right way."

Type huffed frustratedly at Tharn's 'hint' because he had been doing just that the whole time. He had been picking the options according to what would get him to take Dominic away. 

"You're just fucking with me, aren't you? You haven't completed this quest and no matter what I pick, I'm going to lose, right?" Type asked, quite irritated. Tharn smiled and shook his head at the ridiculous conclusion Type had come to. "No, it's complete. You're not playing it right. I just explained to you that these people have been cattle herders for centuries. You can't just barge in and ask them to let Dominic follow you. You need to think of a better way to get through to them," Tharn said. Type stopped for a second to think. What Tharn said made sense to him. He was cutting to the chase and picking the options to get him out of there as fast as possible. He cracked his knuckles and started the quest over.

This time, he asked the elders to let him stay in their village. The elders agreed and he started interacting with more people around. He helped kill a werewolf that was killing the calves in the shed every night with his magic incantations and the villagers held a feast for him to thank him for his generosity. 

Tharn looked at how Type's face was drawn into a smile at the complexity of the quest that had taken Tharn months to render. 

Type finally reached the final scene where he had to talk to the elders for the last time. This time, since he had spent time talking to the people around the village and had a better idea of how to approach the elders, he picked the right options and finally received the elders blessings to take Dominic away as his apprentice. 

The screen finally showed the message of the quest being successfully completed and Type turned to Tharn and grinned in pleasure at finally passing the quest. "That was so cool! Those incantation effects were so beautiful! I can't believe you made this game. I can't wait to play it once you finish it," he said excitedly. Tharn smiled and nodded. "So do you understand what you were doing wrong?"

"Yes, I was trying to rush the gameplay. I was only thinking about how to get Dominic out of the village. I didn't think about how the village elders would react to such sudden news. I had to look at the problem from their perspective to pass the quest," he said beaming up at Tharn. "Exactly," Tharn said, smirking at Type.

Type saw the way his eyes glistened, suggesting something more than him just being proud of him for finishing the game, and suddenly realised what happened. He stood up and stared at Tharn with shock written on his face. He understood why Tharn made him play that quest and didn't help him through his numerous failed attempts at the beginning. Tharn was showing him how to fix his problem with Nicolette. 

"You! You did this to show me that I wasn't looking at Nicolette's perspective?" Type half-screamed at Tharn. Tharn shrugged his shoulders and chuckled. Type felt a little miffed, but he was glad that Tharn understood how to get through to him, because he understood that fact perfectly now. 

"You're such a goddamn grownup even though  _ I'm _ supposed to be older than you," Type said, breaking into a small smile. He could see again that Tharn had really grown up a lot in the time they spent apart. Type couldn't believe it because he felt like he himself hadn't. He was still bullheaded and didn't think things through before he spoke or acted. He felt glad that he had Tharn in his life again to help him manoeuvre botherations his juvenile mind could get him into. 

"Talk to her. Tell her you're sorry and listen to what she has to say," Tharn said, bringing a hand up to Type's shoulder. Type nodded and pulled out his phone. 

He took a calming breath and dialled Nicolette's number. He slid the balcony door open and walked out. 

Tharn stared at his figure and smiled ruefully to himself. Type was growing up.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a slow one today, but such a chapter was required for the flow of the rest of the story. Sorry if it was too boring. I swear it will pick up.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Beta, keep up the great editing(please).


	8. 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Type saw the look of fear and confusion contorting Tharn's face at the same realisation he had had a few seconds before him and slowly broke into a grin. "You don't remember last night?" Type said feigning offence.

"Babe, Type is asking if we can all go to Phuket this weekend," Tharn asked, turning to look at Pina from his position on the bed, who was searching for a change of clothes in the closet. She had basically moved in with Tharn by that point. She spent most of the week with him; except when she had assignments or went home on some weekends. 

She turned around and stared at Tharn wide eyed. Tharn was a little taken aback by her reaction. "Why Phuket?" She asked. 

Tharn was a little confused by her tone. "Because you're from Phuket? Type wanted to take Nicolette there and asked us to join since you're a local. You'd know the best places to go," Tharn said as Pina started changing her clothes quickly. At the lack of a response, Tharn got out of bed and walked up to her, extending his arms to grab her waist gently. "Also, I wanted to see your place. I've only been to Phuket once when I was a kid. I want us to go enjoy the beach together. We always have so much fun with Type so imagine how much more fun it will be if we all go together."

Pina averted her eyes and looked around the room. "But I go there all the time. That's not going to be fun for me," Pina said in a small voice. Tharn couldn't understand why she would say no to the plan when she was always looking for something fun to do. "It's going to be fun because we're all going to be there," Tharn said and kissed her forehead. 

Pina looked up at him and put her arms around Tharn's waist. "Babe, I already booked us a campsite for next weekend. Why don't we just invite them to join us? I can tell them all about Phuket then. They can go on their own little romantic getaway. It's really going to be better if they go alone because it's a haven for couples," she said trying to convince Tharn. Tharn furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and Pina giggled at his expression. "You don't want to barge in on a couple's romantic getaway, do you?"

Tharn realised she was right. He did not want to intrude on Type's time with Nicolette because he knew that with the two of them together, they would hardly pay any attention to their girlfriends. He was glad that Pina didn't mind it, but he didn't know if it would be okay with Nicolette, because Type and her had just been together for over a month. He nodded his head in agreement and kissed her cheek before releasing her from his arms. "So the two of us can go together sometime, right?" Pina chuckled and shook her head as she walked to the vanity. 

°°°

  
  
  


"Wow, this is so beautiful! I didn't know there were such areas so close to Bangkok," Nicolette said as she looked down from the viewpoint at the expanse of the forest beneath. Her and Type had decided to join Tharn and Pina for the camping trip. 

Type looked at how excited she was and held her hand. He smiled down at her and turned to take in the view. It _was_ very beautiful. Pina had outdone herself once more. 

"There, the campsite is next to that bank," Pina said pointing in the direction of where you could see a long bend in the riverbed. "How long does it take to trek down?" Type asked. "About 2 hours. It's a straight trek down a proper path so it's not that difficult," she said and Nicolette and Type nodded.

It took them less than two hours to reach the campsite and, as soon as they arrived, the camp organisers welcomed them and gave them their tents and sleeping bags. 

They began to scan the expanse of the river bank and found a flat, sandy area near the pebbled bank of the water where they began to pitch their tents. 

"This part is not sitting straight. You need to bend it more on your side," Nicolette said to Type, struggling to stick the pole in the ground. "No, it's bent properly. You just need to make sure it's in a straight line from there to here," he said as he pointed from her end of the pole to his. 

She struggled with it for a little longer, to no avail. "It's not going in! You probably didn't put it in the right place," she said as she let go of the pole which fell down flat. Type, feeling a little frustrated at all the work he had done, felt the need to say something harsh, but stopped himself. He knew that getting angry wasn't going to help because it would ruin the entire weekend for them. "Okay, why don't you come here and hold this side down. I'll fix the other end," he said calmly and she agreed. She took the pole from him and held it down. Type walked to the other side and straightened the pole and bent it down to the position, only for the side Nicolette was holding to bend out of shape again. "You're not holding the pole properly," Type said, a little frustrated. 

"Yes, I am. You're trying to stick it in the wrong place which is why it's not working," she said, equally as frustrated. "But you can see that it's going in properly on this side. It was sticking properly on the end you're holding too when I was holding the pole there," he said, gesturing to her end of the pole. "Are you saying this is my fault?" She screamed. Type was about to scream back at her for raising her voice at him when it was her fault, but he stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see Tharn standing next to him with a smile on his face and he bit his tongue. He was relieved that Tharn interrupted him, saving him from the cusp of an eventual fight. 

"Why don't Type and I set this up? Nicolette, you should go get some pictures before the sun sets. Pina is over there by the bank," he said, pointing at his girlfriend who was taking pictures of the river. Nicolette turned to look at Pina and agreed, frustrated that the tent was refusing to cooperate. 

Tharn walked to the end of the pole she abandoned and straightened it in one go as he stuck it into the sand. Type, seeing that he was right, felt anger surge through his body again. "I knew it! She wasn't holding it properly," he said in frustration. Tharn looked up at Type and, as soon as he saw the way his lips were drawn into a small pout, he started laughing. Type snapped his head to look at Tharn, his ire now directed at him. "What are you laughing at, asshole?" He spat. Tharn continued laughing, making Type angrier, making his lips poutier, making Tharn laugh harder.

Tharn put his palm up to Type to tell him to calm down, which had the opposite effect on Type. "Are you saying it's my fault?" He asked angrily. Tharn grinned at him and shook his head. "No, this is the first time I've seen someone get angry at not being able to pitch a tent and it was just funny," Tharn said as he chuckled. "Not everyone is as good at pitching tents as you," Type said angrily, pointing at Tharn and Pina's tent, which they had set up in mere minutes. "Oh, I didn't know you were dealing with such issues. You're so young! You know they have pills for that. They're blue and tiny and help you pitch a tent for up to four hours," Tharn said giggling. Type slowly realising what he said sounded like he had erectile dysfunction, widened his eyes at his stupidity. He looked at Tharn, who had fallen on his ass while laughing, and he couldn't help the laughter that bubbled out of his lips.

°°°

  
  
  


"Let's break open the bourbon," Pina said as she pulled out a bottle from her backpack. Nicolette and Type widened their eyes in surprise. "How did you get that?" Type asked. Pina started chuckling at how the tone of his voice got high and crackly when he saw the alcohol. 

"I can buy alcohol, you know. I'm of legal drinking age," she said with a grin. Type felt stupid for his reaction, suddenly realising Pina was actually several years older than all of them, being a senior in college. He had forgotten that fact completely since they had hung out a lot and she never acted older than them. "Yeah, I forgot about that," he said sheepishly. "Are you saying I look young? Thanks!" Pina said, flipping her hair dramatically. She turned to Tharn and smirked. "You should learn how to compliment women from Type." Tharn broke into a grin and nodded. 

They sat and chatted around the campfire as they finished the bottle of alcohol. Tharn and Type got out of their seats and walked to the water's edge together as Pina and Nicolette sat talking about Phuket. Pina told her about all the places to see and things to do on her visit there. 

"She's nice," Tharn said as he picked up a pebble and tried skipping it on the water. It was too dark and he was too drunk to notice if it even landed right. He still tried to shield his eyes from the darkness to see better, like he was under the sun. "Yeah, she is," Type said as he picked a smooth pebble and handed it to Tharn.

"So, is everything okay now?" Tharn asked, looking down at Type. Type thought about it for a while. "Yeah, I guess. We do get into small arguments here and there but we're getting better at resolving them. I try to control my mouth around her. I know I can be very loose lipped. I say things before thinking them through," Type said, looking at the river but it was too dark to see. He shut his eyes and listened to how the water rushed over the stones. "You're growing up," Tharn said looking down fondly at his friend. Type opened his eyes and stared at Tharn's silhouette. "We all have to eventually."

Tharn felt a little twinge of sadness at Type's words. He could see the image of the young Type that he always saw in him slowly slipping away. The small things that he did that reminded him of how Type used to be from when they were younger was disappearing little by little to be replaced by the Type that sat in front of him. He was still the same person, but he was no longer going to be the version that Tharn remembered. "I'll miss you."

Type looked at him, confused. He didn't know what Tharn meant because he was sitting right in front of him. "Are you going somewhere?" He asked looking up at Tharn. Tharn, hearing the confusion in his voice, chuckled to himself. 

"Do you remember when we made a tent with your bedsheet when I had come for a sleepover?" He asked and Type nodded. "Yeah, we hung the bedsheet over the foot of the bed and laid down on the carpet making shadow puppets with a torchlight," he said, fondly remembering how all they actually managed to make were a duck, a deer and a snake. Tharn suddenly brought out a torch from his pocket and shone it at Type's face, who shielded his eyes at the sudden assault to his corneas. "The fuck!"

"I've learnt how to make more shadow puppets since then. Wanna see?" Tharn asked, turning the flashlight off. Type immediately got excited at the idea. He followed Tharn to the tents and they unzipped and got inside Tharn's. 

They laid on their backs and Tharn handed him the flashlight. "Train the light on this side," he said pointing to his side of the tent. Type nodded and turned it on. Tharn made a dog and barked to indicate that it was, indeed, a dog. Also, in his drunken state, it made perfect sense to him to do that. Type, tipsy himself, started laughing at how silly he was being. Tharn then made a mouse and made squeaking noises, which had Type laughing harder. He then made a rabbit and stopped to think for a second. 

He stared at Type and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What noise does a rabbit make?" He asked. Type furrowed his own brows, trying to wrack his brain for the answer. He had never heard a rabbit in his life so he made a wild guess and started chittering like a squirrel. Tharn laughed and slapped Type's chest, which made Type start laughing too. 

"I know how to make one too," Type said, once they were all laughed out, as he handed the flashlight to Tharn. Tharn was instantly intrigued to find out what new things Type had learnt and trained the light on Type's side of the tent. 

Type brought his hand up to the light, as Tharn stared at the shadow of his hand with full concentration. He curled his palm to form a snake and made 'psspssspssssp' sounds. Tharn dropped the flashlight, bringing his hands to his mouth and started laughing hysterically. Type, seeing Tharn howling with laughter, couldn't control himself and started laughing too. Their voices echoed in the campsite and the girls turned their heads to look in the direction of the tent their boyfriends had just gotten into. 

"They're really good friends, aren't they?" Nicolette asked. "Yeah, they're childhood friends. They met after years when they started attending the same college. They've been inseparable ever since," she said smiling at her. Nicolette turned to look at their legs sticking out of the open tent and chuckled. "Cute."

°°°

  
  
  


Type felt a bright beam of light falling on his face. He covered his eyes and slowly started to feel the heaviness in his head from all the alcohol they had consumed the night before. He turned to Nicolette's side and buried his face in her arm to shield his sensitive eyes from the light. He felt her turn to him and put her arm around him. It felt warm and nice. 

He buried his face further into her chest. As he squished his face closer to her breasts, he felt really confused, because he couldn't feel them. Instead of the soft curves of her breast, he felt his face squash onto something hard. 

He slowly opened his eyes to see a black shirt in front of his eyes. Nicolette was wearing white. He wondered if she changed sometime before bed. He slowly turned his head up to look at her and his eyes snapped wider. Tharn. He was in _Tharn's_ arms, not Nicolette's. _Tharn_ was holding him tightly against his chest. 

Type felt panic rising in his chest and starting to squirm, trying to pry himself out of his arms, but, no matter how much he wriggled, he just couldn't seem to get free. Tharn had him in a vice grip. He brought his arms up to Tharn's chest to push himself away from him but that action just made Tharn start to shift closer, encasing Type in a tighter hug. Type felt his airways closing up from the fear and panic starting to invade his body.

"Where are you going, babe? Let's just lie here for a while. We don't have to trek back till the afternoon," he said with his eyes closed. Type ceased all movements when he realised that Tharn had mistaken him for Pina. Relief started to wash over him at that realisation and started squirming to get out of his embrace again. 

Tharn, feeling what he thought was Pina's arms on his chest trying to push herself away, brought his face down to kiss the top of her head with eyes still glued shut. Type froze again. As soon as his lips touched the top of her head, he could sense something was off. Her shampoo smelt different. It wasn't the familiar scent of vanilla but a spicy, woody fragrance. Her hair also poked him around his mouth and that was weird because she had very long hair. 

He slowly opened his eyes to look down to see a completely different head under his chin. He pushed himself back to see Type staring back at him with equal shock in his face. "Type? What are you doing here?" He asked. Type saw the look of fear and confusion contorting Tharn's face at the same realisation he had had a few seconds before him and slowly broke into a grin. "You don't remember last night?" Type said feigning offence.

Tharn, registering Type's words, slowly relaxed. He shook his head and broke into a chuckle at the weird way they had started their morning and also remembering what they were doing last night before they passed out next to each other.

"Your snake was so realistic. I almost shit myself," Tharn said, turning to him. Type knitted his brows and, recalling their drunk antics of the night before himself, started laughing.

"Are you guys finally up? You should start packing. We have to leave in an hour," Pina said peering into the tent. Tharn and Type turned to look at her and nodded as they both pushed themselves off the floor. 

Tharn put his hand down next to him and felt something hard against his palm. He grabbed at it and pulled it up to see that it was the flashlight from the night before. Type looked at it and started chuckling again. Tharn, recalling the exact noise Type had made for the snake, started laughing along. 

Once they had sufficiently woken up, they started dismantling the tents, giggling like school girls at each other from time to time when they remembered something from the night before, both of them feeling warm, happy and whole.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how do you guys like it so far? 
> 
> Thanks to my beta, who hasn't read the whole thing yet, but makes the wildest speculations about what will happen in the next chapters. Thank you for keeping me entertained. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	9. 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Type, feeling warmth radiating from the hands on his back, wrapped his arms around the body in front of him. He wasn't feeling dizzy or hot anymore. He felt grounded and warm.

'Pina's friend just started working at this new club and she can get our names in the guest list. You and Nicolette want to join us on Friday?'

'Do you even need to ask?

Fuck yeah!'

'Wow. That's….

Enthusiastic.

Why?

No plans this weekend?'

'Even if we did, who's going to say no to clubbing?

Plus we're getting free entry.

I'm not stupid enough to refuse such an opportunity.'

'Real eager, aren't you?

What's so exciting about clubbing that you're ready to abandon all plans?'

'It's clubbing.

We're young.

We only live once. 

Carpe Diem.

YOLO

Etc.'

'Hahaha!

So I must be the old one in this aspect.'

'Why?'

'I've been clubbing with Pina a few times. Didn't really like it.'

'Yeah, you do sound about 80.

Why didn't you like it?'

'Just. 

It's really noisy.

Drinks are overpriced.

People get really sweaty and close to you.

Have to scream to talk to anyone.

I always wake up with a sore throat, a hangover and a light wallet the next day.

Not the biggest fan.'

'Wow. Way to ruin my mood there.

And, I stand corrected.

You sound about 100'

'Haha! Maybe I'll have more fun with you there.

So I'll count you and Nicolette in for Friday then.'

'Of course you will.

And, yes. We're in.'

'Alright, cool!'

'See you on Friday, you old fuck.'

°°°

  
  
  


"Pina +3,” Pina said to the gateman at the club. Type tried to straighten his shirt to appear older and cool so they don't suspect that they were actually underage. Tharn caught it and smiled. The man checked the list and nodded as he gestured for them to enter. Type sighed in relief as soon as they were through the doors. 

"Wow, it is really loud in here," Type said to Tharn. Tharn couldn't hear him over the music so he moved his ear closer to him. Type chuckled at his movement because Tharn was right after all; it was too loud to have a conversation in there. 

"Guys, my friend got us a table. Follow me," Pina screamed to their group. They nodded and followed her through the crowd of people littered on every inch of the floorspace, given it was the weekend. They finally pushed their way through the bodies occupying the club and sat down on the high chairs. 

"What do you want to start with?" Pina asked, leaning into the table and looking around at the group. "Shots!" Nicolette screamed over the music. Type nodded his head furiously in agreement and Tharn grinned at how excited he appeared to be. Pina flagged a server down and ordered them a tray of 16 shots. 

When the server came back with their order, Tharn and Type's eyes widened at the number of shots she had ordered. "What is this?" Tharn asked, leaning into her ear. "Tequila," she screamed. Tharn widened his eyes in surprise. He knew he could drink a good amount, but starting off with 4 shots of tequila was not going to bode well, even for him. He was worried that Type might get too drunk because he had gotten quite inebriated with 3 pegs of whiskey when they had gone camping and turned to look at him to see he was already holding up a shot glass, and so was Nicolette. He sighed and picked up his shot glass and they collectively clinked their glasses and downed the shot. 

Type felt fire in his body and quickly licked the salt, putting the wedge of lemon in his mouth and sucking at it furiously. He didn't know if he could take more after the first shot, but Nicolette pushed another into his hand. He looked at her smiling up at him and didn't want to disappoint her, so he took the second shot with the group again. It burned even more and it hurt his throat. The lemon didn't seem to help the second time. He saw that half the tray was still left so he decided to brave it and doubled fisted the last two shots. Looking at him, everyone else grabbed two shots in their hands.

Tharn saw the discomfort on his face and thought about stopping him. He could see that Type was just trying to get the shots over with by grabbing both the shot glasses and felt a little worried about how he would handle so much alcohol if doing two shots was enough to make him look like that. Before he could protest, Type brought his hands forward and clinked his glasses with the group and downed both the shots in quick succession, contorting his face in pain and quickly shoving both the lemon wedges in his mouth. Tharn couldn't do anything about it at that point, so he downed his shots, feeling the alcohol slowly hit him when the last shot travelled down his throat.

"Let's dance!" Nicolette said, pulling Type down from the stool as she dragged him into the dancefloor. Tharn stared at him in worry because Type's movements looked unsteady. He was pulled out of it when he felt Pina put her arm around his shoulder and he turned to face her. "Let's join them," she said in his ear. He figured it would be a good idea for them to stay close to Type and Nicolette in case something happened and nodded. He grabbed her waist as she led him to the dancefloor. As soon as his eyes set on Type and Nicolette in the middle of the crowd, he felt a sense of relief and began dancing with Pina, glancing at his friends every few seconds to not lose sight of them. 

Type felt a lot more drunk than he had ever been. His head felt numb. He couldn't even feel his grip on Nicolette's waist properly due to the dulling of his senses caused by the copious amounts of alcohol in his system. He followed along the movement of her body, not paying mind to if he was actually dancing to the beat at all. His vision was blurry and his body felt like it was heating up to a dangerous temperature, but he couldn't get himself out of there because he was unsure how he was going to make it out of the crowd, so he just danced, hoping it would help sober him up a little. 

Tharn, thinking that everything was okay with Type since he had been dancing fine, turned his attention to Pina and resumed dancing with her. He looked at how beautifully she moved her body to the music. He couldn't help but think that her movements were always so sure and gazelle like. She pulled a lot of attention to her because of how confident and beautiful she was and felt warmth in his chest for being the one she chose to be with. 

He turned to check back on Type in a while and saw that he didn't look fine. He was now rolling his head backward with an empty look on his face and was immediately worried for his friend. He leaned into Pina's ear and told her to head back to the table for more drinks and that he would fetch Type and Nicolette. She nodded enthusiastically and headed towards their table. 

Tharn turned around to look at Type and, seeing how uncoordinated his movements looked, pushed his way through the gyrating bodies to get to him. As soon as he reached him, he put his arm around his shoulder to steady him. Type turned to look at him and Tharn could see that Type was extremely drunk. He leaned in to both of them and asked them to go back to the table for more drinks. Nicolette perked up and nodded, grabbed Type's hand and began to pull him out of the dancefloor. Seeing how unstable his walk was, Tharn put Type's arm around his shoulder and snaked his arm around his waist to support him out of the dancefloor as Nicolette, quite drunk herself, towed him out of the crowd. 

Tharn felt an instinct to protect him that took him by surprise. He looked down at Type leaning his head on his shoulder and realised why he was feeling that way. He wanted to lend the same security Type offered him back when they were kids. His lips turned up into a smile when he saw Type had closed his eyes and was completely leaning on him, trusting him to lead him out of the dancefloor. 

Type felt slightly better as he was guided out of the crowd. He had been feeling like he was going to pass out from the heatwave coursing through his body in the middle of the crowd that surrounded him. He felt a sense of relief at being guided out of the suffocating crowd in the sure and secure arms of his friend. He put his entire weight on him and closed his eyes, wanting to chase away the discomfort he was feeling by focusing solely on the vice like grip Tharn had on his waist. He felt safe.

As soon as they reached the table, Tharn widened his eyes at another tray of 16 shots on the table. Nicolette clapped her hands in excitement and Pina handed him and Type a shot each. Before he could pry the shot away from Type's hand, he had downed it and hiccuped loudly. 

Tharn looked at him worriedly, drank his shot quickly and guided Type on the stool next to him. He steadied Type by holding the backrest with one hand to make sure he didn't fall over and watched him bring another shot up to his mouth and down it. Tharn widened his eyes in worry because he began to sway dangerously on the high stool. He saw him grab another shot, but he quickly pried it out of his hand and downed it himself. Type turned to look at him, a little annoyed, and reached for another shot. 

Tharn snatched it from him and downed it again. Type, even more annoyed at that point, tried to shove Tharn away with his hand, but was too drunk to put much force into it. Realising how futile his effort was proving to be, Type turned to the table and went to grab another shot, but Tharn swatted his arm away and quickly drank the remaining shots one after the other, ending up finishing two extra shots that belonged to Nicolette and Pina in an effort to stop Type from ingesting any more alcohol. Type stared at his friend wincing in pain and found it funny in his alcohol induced daze. He put up a finger at Tharn's face and laughed.

Tharn turned to look at Type and saw him laughing at him and couldn't help but laugh himself. He knew there was no going back because he had just taken eight shots of tequila within 5 minutes. He was utterly fucked. He could already feel the alcohol affecting his vision. 

Tharn was dizzy. He was too drunk to even stand up straight at that point. He looked at Type's laughing face and cracked a smile at how happy he felt being with him there. The moment was cut short when he felt Pina dragging him, asking him to dance with her. He got off the stool on shaky legs, but still felt the need to protect Type, so he moved ahead and grabbed Type's waist, pulling him down from his seat. 

Type fussed like a child, but allowed himself to be pulled down from his seat. He was as unsteady on his feet as Tharn. As soon as his legs hit the floor, he felt like he was going to lose his balance, and instinctively put his arm around Tharn's shoulders to steady himself. "Where are we going?" He asked, leaning into Tharn's ear. Tharn, feeling the warmth from his breath in his ear, turned to him and smiled. "To dance," he said, leaning into Type's ear. Type smiled and nodded as he let himself be supported on Tharn's shoulder to the dance floor. 

Pina looked at her drunk boyfriend taking his friend towards the crowd and chuckled. Nicolette stared at Type, feeling a little angry at him for abandoning her and going ahead with Tharn, which was quickly quelled when Pina put her arm around her and pulled her towards their boyfriends. She smiled up at Pina, put her arm around her waist, and followed her to the dance floor.

Tharn had dragged Type to the middle of the floor and looked at him, practically hanging on him. He could see how drunk Type was, so he manoeuvred Type's body to face him and put his arms around Type's back to support his weight. 

Type, feeling warmth radiating from the hands on his back, wrapped his arms around the body in front of him. He wasn't feeling dizzy or hot anymore. He felt grounded and warm. He liked the feeling a lot, especially with all of his senses being numbed by the alcohol. He pulled the body that the warmth emanated from closer and tucked his face into the crook of the person's neck, the musky scent making him bury his face deeper and smile.

Tharn's senses had been completely dulled by the alcohol. His defences and awareness had floated away with the last shot that made its way down his gullet. His consciousness was asleep, as he moved solely on instinct.

In that unconscious state of mind, feeling Type snake his arms around his back and putting his head into the crook of his neck, he felt solace in his hold. He brought his head down to mirror Type's action and smelt the intoxicating fragrance of his sweat that somehow came off as sweet to him. He lost himself in his embrace and started swaying them to the music. Type, feeling the slow movements of their bodies together, melted in his arms further and allowed himself to move with Tharn's body. 

Nicolette stared at her boyfriend in Tharn's arms, and felt a pang of jealousy. She could see how Tharn had his arms on his back, resting his head on Type's shoulder, swaying their bodies together with his eyes closed. She turned to Pina and pointed at them. Pina, who hadn't noticed them, turned to the direction she pointed and, when her eyes landed on Tharn and Type swaying in each other's arms, started chuckling in delight. 

Nicolette turned to look at Pina, surprised at her reaction. Pina looked back at her and saw the reservation in her eyes. She grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to herself, putting her arms around her back, imitating her boyfriend. "We can't let them have all the fun. Let's show them that four can play this game," she said in Nicolette's ear. Nicolette, who was very drunk at that point, agreed that what she suggested was the best course of action, so she put her arm around Pina and began to sway to the music.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm exhausted and my network is acting up. Still, trying to keep my streak and posting this chapter.
> 
> Beta, I sincerely apologise for the paragraph we will never talk about from this day forward. I can't confidently say that it's not going to happen again because of how many chapters that are still left. All I can say to you is, su su!
> 
> Thank you for reading so far!


	10. 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Maybe we should distance ourselves from each other to ease her mind," Tharn said. Type leaned back a little in surprise at Tharn's suggestion. He was not going to lose his closest friend over something so ridiculous. 

Tharn was rinsing the glass he had just drank water from when he suddenly heard furious knocking coming from his front door. He turned to look at the wall clock in the living room to see it was 8 PM. It was a Wednesday, so he wasn't expecting anyone to show up. Unless it was Pina deciding to come back, in case she managed to finish her group assignment early. But she had a key, so he was confused even further. He figured that she might have forgotten to take it.

He walked to the door and cracked it open to be faced by Type, looking furious, who proceeded to push past him and walk to the living room. Tharn followed him with his eyes as he stood rooted in place. Type walked ahead and flopped down angrily on the couch. 

Tharn was extremely shocked at this surprise visit because Type always texted him before he came over. Also, he never saw him on a weekday, so he was twice as confused at his sudden, angry presence on his couch.

He walked up to the couch and looked at him warily. "Type, what's wrong?" He asked, furrowing his brows in concern and a bit of fear. Type looked up at him and Tharn could see fire in his eyes.  _ This  _ was the most angry he had ever seen Type and it worried him. 

"Nicolette is being impossible," Type said in a huff. Tharn immediately felt a sudden discomfort creeping into his system at the possibility of his friend getting into another fight with his girlfriend. He walked up to the couch and sat down next to him. "What happened?" Tharn asked softly, bringing a hand up to Type's shoulder. 

Type turned his head to look at his hand and then back up at Tharn. He felt his anger ebbing at the worried look on his friend's face, which suddenly made him remember why he was angry in the first place, reigniting his fury. He shook his head and brought a hand to his forehead. 

"She wants me to distance myself from you," he said, turning to look at Tharn. Tharn, hearing that tidbit, felt his breath hitch. His mind started running a mile a minute, trying to figure out what he did wrong, but couldn't conclude why Nicolette would say that. He thought they got along well. He wondered what he had done for her to ask of such a thing. He felt knives twisting in his chest at the possibility of losing Type again. He needed to fix whatever he did wrong to prevent that from happening. After he tried to think about what he intentionally or inadvertently may have done to Nicolette for her to dislike him to such an extent, he came up empty. They hadn't even interacted enough for her to dislike him so fast. "Why?" Tharn asked, his voice breaking because of the intense feeling of impending loss that was gnawing away at the back of his mind.

Type felt his stomach twist uncomfortably at the tone of Tharn's voice. He suddenly felt like maybe he made a mistake by coming here. He didn't want to see that look of hurt on his friend's face. He hated to see Tharn like that. He tried to think about how to phrase the next sentence but, seeing Tharn searching his eyes for an answer, couldn't help but be honest with him. 

"She thinks we're too close. She said she feels uncomfortable to see me hang out with you," he said, the hurt and anger those words had caused him still coursing through his body. 

Tharn froze. He did not expect that at all. He didn't even know where she was coming from. He tried to wrack his brain to think of any incident which would have made her feel uncomfortable to the point of asking Type to keep his distance from him, but came up empty. "What? I don't…." Tharn said as he looked up to stare at Type with eyes drenched in confusion, ".... understand."

Type could see the bewilderment and hurt in Tharn's eyes and felt even worse. "Yeah, neither do I. Apparently, the night we had gone out clubbing, you and I were dancing together and she felt very uncomfortable about it," Type said frustratedly. 

Tharn suddenly recalled a small memory of that night as he stared at the wall behind Type. He remembered holding Type in his arms as they swayed to the music. He felt immediate guilt assault his system at that recollection because he figured he was the reason for them being in that situation, given how drunk he had been. He looked back at Type, feeling guilt stricken. "I'm so sorry, Type. I don't even remember that properly because I was extremely drunk. I just remember how drunk you were and I was trying my best to look out for you," Tharn said sincerely. 

Type could see the honesty of Tharn's words reflected in his eyes and felt a lot worse. "I don't even remember that part of the night. You don't have to apologise for dancing with me. We were at a club and we were drunk," Type said bringing his hand up to rest on Tharn's shoulder to calm him. Tharn just felt bad because Type was trying to console him when he was the cause of the strife in Type's relationship. 

"Maybe we should distance ourselves from each other to ease her mind," Tharn said. Type leaned back a little in surprise at Tharn's suggestion. He was not going to lose his closest friend over something so ridiculous. 

"No, Tharn. We did nothing wrong. It's her problem. She needs to get over it, like I told her to," he said with conviction. Tharn raised his eyebrows in surprise at hearing that. He could feel that Type had brewed another problem between Nicolette and himself with his callous words and, now, Tharn was the reason behind it. His surprise quickly turned to panic when that fact fully registered in his mind. "No, Type! You can't say that to her! She's your girlfriend. You need to work through your issues together. You can't just give her an ultimatum like that. Did you forget that you need to see things from her perspective too?" Tharn said anxiously.

"I saw her perspective and came to the conclusion that it was dumb. Her whole argument is based on seeing the two of us dancing together when we were drunk in a club. That is the sole reason she wants me to stay away from you," Type said, exasperated at the sheer ridiculousness of her reasonings. 

Tharn felt another pang of guilt wrack his insides at being the reason they got into that situation in the first place. Knowing that, if only he hadn't drank so much, they wouldn't be in the predicament they had found themselves in, he felt ready to be swallowed up by the ground. "Type, let me apologise to her. It's my fault.  _ I _ dragged you to the dance floor.  _ I _ held you up because you were too drunk. This is all my fault," Tharn blubbered, utterly scared for causing him relationship troubles. 

"This is not your fault Tharn! We're just friends. You and I know that. No one has ever had a problem with how 'close' we are before. Pina literally has been with us from the beginning and she never says anything. You know why?" Type asked and Tharn shook his head to let him know that he had no clue. "Because there is nothing wrong. It's all her. It's in her head," Type added. 

Type's words did make sense to Tharn. He was right. He had been with Pina for over half a year and they even hung out together with Type all the time. She never suggested anything of the sort that Nicolette did after hanging out with them twice. It made no sense to him. But he realised that everyone was different and maybe she just looked at them differently. He needed to make Type understand that.

"Type, maybe it makes her uncomfortable. Just because no one else says anything, doesn't mean she would react the same. Maybe you need to think about her feelings and keep your distance from me," Tharn said, already feeling a little hurt at the prospect of losing Type. Type snapped his head in his direction and scoffed. "Are you fucking crazy? I'm not going to throw away a close friend because someone I've dated for just over a month asked me to. Don't be ridiculous, Tharn!" Type screamed. 

Tharn jerked away from Type at the sudden rise in his volume. He felt relief washing over him because of those words, which immediately transformed into guilt for feeling relieved. He had momentarily forgotten that he was affecting Type's first college romance and felt like real scum. Recalling how long Type had wanted to date somebody, and him finally having found someone, he felt like an asshole for being the reason to take that away from him. He needed to make Type see sense. 

"Type, but you need to reach a common ground with her. She's your girlfriend. That relationship goes deeper than mere friendship," Tharn said, trying to reason with Type. Type felt anger flare up inside him at how Tharn thought he meant so little to Type. 

"Are you daft? You mean more to me than she ever will. I don't care if our friendship bothers her. I'm not giving you up for a girl," Type said and Tharn felt a guilt-ridden jolt of happiness within. He smiled woefully at Type, realising how Type appreciated having Tharn in his life as much as he did. Because of that fact, Tharn knew that he couldn't let him fuck up his relationship. Especially not because of him.

"Type, I am so happy to have you back in my life. I never thought I'd see you again after the last day I saw you walk into your car back in school. I thought I'd meet you the next day, but I never did, and I've remembered you fondly for all those years. I never imagined I'd run into you again in the future. I thought I had lost you forever. But, since we chanced upon each other again, I knew that we were always meant to be friends, because our friendship hasn't changed since we were kids. I appreciate having you in my life again. I want nothing but for you to be happy. But, I don't want to be the thorn on the side of your relationship. I won't be able to live with the guilt. It hurts me to know that I'm the reason that you're having the issue to begin with. I want you to go and fix it with her," Tharn said, trying his best not to break, given how heavy his chest felt saying that to Type. It felt like a goodbye speech as those words tumbled out of his mouth.

Type felt his chest tighten when he remembered the last day he saw Tharn in school. He was waving at him so enthusiastically with his small, chubby hands. He didn't know how much he had meant to Tharn till that point and felt even more determined to stick to his guns. 

"I don't care, Tharn. You are my friend. You're my closest and oldest friend. You can't blame yourself for Nicolette making up stupid conspiracies in her own head. I'm not going to let her come between our friendship. I'm never going to let anything come between us ever again," Type said with determination. He had abandoned Tharn once; which couldn't be helped because he was too young to put his foot down; but he was no longer that young boy anymore, and he was never going to do that to Tharn again. 

"What are you planning to do?" Tharn asked, looking up at Type worriedly. 

"I'm going to break up with her."

Tharn stood up in shock and stared at Type wide eyed at his declaration. He felt his body start to go numb. He couldn't believe Type was going to break up with Nicolette for him. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't even begin to form a single thought because he was shocked to the core. He needed to stop Type, that's all he knew in that moment. "No! You can't do that!"

"Not your decision to make," Type said and walked to the kitchen to get a drink of water. 

Tharn felt lost. He didn't know what to do. He had to fix this, no matter what. He was not going to be the reason behind Type's break up. He wouldn't be able to live with the guilt of it for the rest of his life. He quickly texted Pina to come over because he wasn't able to have a single rational thought at that point. He needed her to rescue him.

Type stalked back into the living room, turned on the TV, and stared emptily at the first channel that played, not really paying what was on screen much mind because his thoughts were miles away.

°°°

  
  
  


Tharn heard the front door unlocking after Type and him had stared at a documentary without speaking a word to each other, minds not really taking in the visual playing in front of them, for an hour. He immediately got up from the couch and hurried to Pina and grabbed at her arms desperately. 

Pina saw the confusion and pain in his eyes and brought a hand up to caress his cheek. "What's wrong, babe? You okay?" She asked. Tharn shook his head, not being able to form words. Pina looked behind him and quickly greeted Type who just nodded his head at her. 

Type was feeling a little annoyed about the fact that Tharn had probably called her to convince him to not break up with Nicolette. Tharn was not going to change his mind.

"Type…. Type is trying to break up with Nicolette because of me!" Tharn said panicking. Pina soothed his shoulders with her arms to get him to calm down. "What? Why?" She asked calmly. "She saw us dancing in the club and wants Type to keep his distance from me and he refuses to do it. He instead wants to break up with her because of that. Because of me," he said, eyes glazing over with tears of panic.

Pina, seeing him falling apart, caressed his face with both hands and smiled at him soothingly. "It's okay, babe. Calm down. Don't worry. Let me talk to him." She walked up to Type and handed her phone to him. Type looked at her confused at her action. "What?" He asked. "Give me her number. I'll talk to her," she said. Type looked at her unsurely, but took her phone and punched in Nicolette's number. 

Pina dialled the number and walked into the bedroom to talk to her privately. Tharn, too high strung to sit down, paced around the room staring at the floor. Type just sat on the couch watching Tharn's slow mental breakdown, not understanding why he was so much more concerned about his relationship than Type was himself. 

Pina walked out of the room in about an hour and both their heads snapped to her direction, each searching for the answer in her face. She saw the boys staring at her like surprised barn owls and chuckled. 

"What did she say?" Tharn asked, walking up to her. She smiled and turned to look at Type. "You should be getting a call right about…. now," she said as Types phone started ringing. He picked it off the table to see it was Nicolette. He walked to the balcony to answer the call. Tharn looked at Type closing the balcony door and turned to look at Pina, still very concerned. Pina smiled at him as she smoothened the hair on his head in a calming motion. 

"It's going to be fine. I talked to her and explained that you guys are just close friends. I told her that it was probably the cultural difference that was making her feel uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong with your friendship. You can stop worrying now. Everything is going to be alright," she said. Tharn felt a giant wave of relief crashing over him. He couldn't believe he was dating someone like Pina. She was the most amazing girl on the planet. He bent down and placed a kiss on her cheek. She smiled at him and grabbed his face, bringing it down to kiss his forehead. 

"You guys would be lost without me," she said with a chuckle. Tharn agreed with her wholeheartedly.

He hugged her again, looking up to stare at Type's back through the balcony door. He felt his chest starting to constrict, knowing that things were about to change for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had to fight my sleep, my network and my beta to get this chapter out by today. 
> 
> Beta, thank you! I appreciate you, but sometimes I want to kill you. It's cool, though. Nothing new. Regular sibling feelings. I'm sure those feelings are mutual.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I sure had a ball writing the first (kinda) angsty chapter. (Not really. It took a slight toll on me.)


	11. 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Type looked at Tharn dancing with Pina and felt a little off again. He couldn't understand why because they were his friends. He should be feeling happy that they were so happy together, but he wasn't. He wasn't jealous, he figured. He just missed them, even though they were a few feet ahead of him. He couldn't understand why. 

Type turned to look at Tharn, happy that everything was fixed. Nicolette had apologised to him about misunderstanding Tharn and his friendship. She even invited Tharn and Pina to join them for their beach outing. Pina, in true Pina fashion, suggested a hidden beach that she had found out about. They were sitting on a blanket at that very beach and it was beautiful. The only noise in the background were the waves hitting the pristine shoreline. 

Tharn sat with his arms around Pina, who was sitting on his lap. He was more than glad that he could stay friends with Type. He looked around the empty beach and felt a sense of calm overcome him. He shut his eyes and rested his chin on Pina's head as he listened to the waves crashing, feeling the warm breeze on his face. 

"Let's go for a swim," Type suggested, taking his shirt off. Tharn looked up at Type, excited at the prospect but, before he could get up, he looked to see Nicolette unzipping her dress and settled back down. "You guys go ahead first. We'll watch the stuff," Tharn said. 

Type was confused about what Tharn meant by that as he proceeded to turn his head left and right to look at the entire expanse of beach to find not a single soul around. "Why? Who's going to steal our stuff? The seagulls?" He asked. Pina chuckled and turned her head to look at Tharn who was flitting his eyes around to find a better excuse. He couldn't tell him that he wanted to keep a safe distance from him in case Nicolette misunderstood them again. He couldn't voice it for obvious reasons. 

"I want to soak up the sun for a bit. You guys go ahead. Tharn will keep me company," Pina said looking up at them. That was a good enough reason for Type to shrug his shoulders and head to the water with Nicolette in tow. Tharn sighed in relief and Pina turned to look at him and grinned. "You're being too cautious. Swimming together when you're at a beach is not out of the question," she said smiling up at Tharn. Tharn was taken aback by how Pina understood his hesitance without him having said a single word. He felt relief wash over him realising she knew how to get him out of sticky situations without him even having to voice anything. She made him fall deeper in love with every little thing she did. 

"Yeah, but she got uncomfortable about Type and me dancing together in a club, and dancing when you're at a club is also not out of question," Tharn said, still feeling a little guilty about that night. Pina chuckled and brought her face higher to kiss him on the cheek. "You're a real worry wart. You don't have to be  _ that _ careful. I've already talked to her and she understands," she said and Tharn looked down at her face, feeling thankful for her. She had fixed what would have eventually become a very big problem and he would always be grateful to her for that.

"Yeah, but I don't want to risk it. I finally have him back in my life and I don't want to do anything to fuck that up, even if it means me sitting here, boiling in the sun with cool water just a few paces from me," he said with a smile. Pina smiled back at him as she grabbed her beach hat and placed it on his head. The look of surprise on his face made her burst out laughing. 

"Why are you laughing? Do I look  _ that _ bad?" Tharn asked with a small pout. "No, because you look ridiculously good looking even in a stupid, flouncy hat," Pina said and Tharn broke into a smile. She settled back down into his arms as they looked at Type and Nicolette frolicking in the water. 

°°°

  
  
  


"Let's play some football," Type suggested, taking out a ball from his bag. Tharn got up excitedly, but deflated immediately when his eyes fell on Nicolette again. He was about to refuse when Pina grabbed his arm and he turned to look at her. "Sure, let's all play. Girls versus boys?" She suggested. 

"No!" Tharn screamed and everyone turned their heads to look at him. He felt embarrassed by his uncontrolled reaction at the possibility of having to be on the same team as Type and coughed to clear his throat. "I mean, that's not fair. Let's play couple versus couple," he suggested. Type agreed and they got into position to start the game. 

Tharn regretted suggesting them being on different teams because, now, Type's naked torso was rubbing up against his equally naked one as Type tried to tackle the ball away from him. He tried his best to keep himself at a respectable distance from Type, but it was proving fruitless, because Type was finding every way to have their bodies rub up against each other in his unrelenting quest to snatch the ball from him so, Tharn, as a last resort, passed it on to Pina. 

He was relieved when Type finally moved away from him to chase after Pina. That feeling, however, was short-lived because Pina passed it right back to him and with it Type, bumping his body against Tharn's again. Tharn felt a bead of sweat breaking on his forehead, more from the tension than the heat, and finally had an idea. 

He let Type take the ball from him. 

He felt stupid for not coming up with that simple solution earlier. Type moved away with the ball and scored a goal. He smiled at how Type ran towards him and started running circles around him excitedly. He realised in the moment that that was Type's signature victory move because he had done the same thing when he won at a game of bowling. Tharn chuckled when he realised that he had let Type win both times. 

The rest of the game was quick to finish since Tharn came up with the genius idea of just letting Type take the ball from him every time he got anywhere close to him, and gladly lost to Nicolette and Type. Pina was a little miffed at him because she could get a little competitive too, and she knew that Tharn was throwing the game, but he promised to make it up to her. 

°°°

  
  
  


"Let's go for a swim before we head back," Type said, putting his arm around Tharn's shoulder. Feeling Type too close to him with Nicolette right there, Tharn felt panic rise in his chest. He turned around to see Pina and immediately snaked out of Type's grip. "Pina, Type wants to go swim. Let's all go together," Tharn said, quickly walking towards her. 

Type stared at Tharn's back, really confused. He had been feeling like Tharn was trying to keep his distance from him since they arrived at the beach. Seeing him uncomfortably move away from his touch seemed to confirm his doubt a little. But, then again, he was walking towards his girlfriend, so there really was nothing to doubt. But, watching Tharn walk away from him, he couldn't help but feel a little empty. A little cold. 

Type was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt Nicolette grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the water. He shook the previous reservations from his mind as he gave her a small smile and followed her. 

Type looked at Tharn and Pina at a small distance from him, playing in the water together and he broke into a genuine smile. He saw Tharn pick her up and fall back into the water as Pina squealed in delight. He wanted to join them, but he sensed that he should give them a little space since they were having their couple time. 

He turned to face the horizon and started swimming towards it. He swam till his arms couldn't cut through water and floated on his back. The saltwater, making his body feel weightless, helped him rest his aching extremities as he stared up at the brilliant blue sky. The scene was serene and calm but the same couldn't be said for his thoughts; because they were louder than ever. He could feel his mind starting to get noisy again after months of it being calm and quiet. He sighed deeply as he flipped over and started swimming back to shore. He knew that something had changed and it wouldn't let his mind be at peace anymore.

°°°

  
  
  


Type looked at Tharn sitting with his arm around Pina across the table. It had been a few months of him just staring at them with a pit in his stomach. He had gotten used to the feeling of just staying at a distance from Tharn because, every time he got too close, Tharn would find his way to Pina. He didn't even know what he missed because Tharn was still there. He was always there. But something just felt different. It didn't feel easy and nice anymore. 

"Type, try this lobster. It's so delicious," Nicolette said, bringing a fork up to Type's mouth. Type turned to look at her in horror. He had avoided looking at her plate since it had been served. He hated lobster. It was the one seafood he couldn't stomach. The worst part being that, since they were at a fancy restaurant, they had served the lobster in its shell. He always felt really uncomfortable with how big the crustacean was, how many legs it had, and how it's dead eyes seemed to stare into his soul. To him, it looked like an overgrown, radioactive centipede with the claws of a scorpion. He absolutely did not want to eat it's flesh but as he saw the expectant look on Nicolette's face, he opened his mouth with a pained expression.

Nicolette dropped the fork back on her plate and chuckled, taking Type by surprise. "You don't like lobster, do you?" 

Type shook his head sheepishly and smiled at her. "It's the only seafood I cannot stomach. I can't even look at it straight. The beady eyes make me feel weird," Type said, making Nicolette chuckle again. "You should have said something. Wait, I know what to do," she said as she took out the meat and placed it to one side of the plate. She then took her napkin and covered the shell with it. "Done!" She exclaimed and looked back at Type with a smile. Type smiled back at her.

Tharn looked at Type smiling at his girlfriend feeling a little wistful, but still happy. He had been itching to get back to the way he used to be with Type, but he knew that he had to maintain his distance from him so he doesn't cause any discord between the two of them. He was happy to just be friends with Type from a distance as long as he could keep being his friend. Even though Type was sitting right across the table from where he sat, he missed him. A lot. 

"You want to dance?" Pina asked, looking at Tharn. He turned to look at her, surprised at her suggestion. "What? We're in a restaurant. How are we going to dance?" Tharn asked. Pina chuckled at the look of surprise on Tharn's face and soothed his arm. "There is a band playing. The singer is singing too well to let it go to waste. Think of it as us complimenting her performance," she said as she got up and pulled him to follow her to the front of the stage. Tharn did like the jazzy music and the singer was indeed singing beautifully, so he let himself be dragged along. 

He held her waist and took her left palm in his right. He moved his face closer to her, bringing them cheek to cheek, as he began moving to the rhythm of the music. He felt so glad that Pina had once again pulled him away from his less than savoury thoughts. He felt like he loved her even more because she understood him so perfectly.

Type looked at Tharn dancing with Pina and felt a little off again. He couldn't understand why because they were his friends. He should be feeling happy that they were so happy together, but he wasn't. He wasn't jealous, he figured. He just missed them, even though they were a few feet ahead of him. He couldn't understand why. 

"Let's join them," Nicolette said and Type turned to look at her. He figured it wouldn't hurt, so he took her hand and led her to where Tharn and Pina were dancing. Nicolette held his back as he held hers and swayed to the music, his thoughts a million miles away.

Pina tapped Type on the shoulder, pulling him out of his trance. He turned to look at her expectantly for the reason she had called for his attention. "Let's switch," she said to Type and his head snapped to look at Tharn who was smiling at them. He felt his insides jump a little at the thought of dancing with Tharn. 

He was immediately a little disappointed when Pina put her hand in his and placed his arm around her back. He felt a little stupid for thinking she meant that she wanted him to switch with her. He looked at Nicolette dancing with Tharn and smiled at his idiocy.

"Looks like your moves have improved," Pina said, smiling up at him. Type was a little confused. "What? Since when?" He asked, not recalling ever dancing with her. Pina started chuckling lightly. "You and Tharn have the same look on your face when you guys are confused," Pina said. Type widened his eyes at that piece of information. "Really?" He asked, taken aback. Pina slowly broke into a grin and nodded.

"Since I saw you dancing with Tharn. You've improved since then," Pina said, bringing back the original topic of discussion. Type was even more surprised at that. "How can you compare that to right now? We were drunk out of our minds then. I don't even remember dancing with him at all," Type said with a chuckle. Pina leaned back a little at that revelation. "Really?" She asked. Type furrowed his brows at registering the surprise in her tone. "Of course. We were really drunk. Because of you!" He said pointing at her with his face. Pina threw her head back and laughed. 

"You're welcome," she said smiling at Type. "I don't know if I should be thankful for that," Type said in jest and Pina smiled. 

"That's not what I meant," Pina said. Type looked at her, a little surprised. "What did you mean, then?"

Pina smiled up at Type and brought her face closer to his ears. "You refused to let Tharn go that night, long after we were done dancing. You kept clinging on to him, even after we exited the club. Nicolette had to literally pry you out of his arms to get you into the cab to take you guys back home. Even then, you tried to take Tharn with you. You almost pulled him entirely into the cab," Pina said in a hushed tone and moved back to look at Type with a smirk.

Type felt heat travelling up his face at the embarrassment he felt at being enlightened of his behaviour that night. He could not believe his ears. He was drunk that night, but he didn't know he was  _ that  _ drunk. He didn't remember any of it. Pina started laughing when she saw how red his cheeks got. "It was really funny. You were so cute!" She said pinching his cheek teasingly. 

Type trained his gaze down, still embarrassed. He finally understood why Nicolette was so uncomfortable. He didn't know he had done  _ that. _ He looked up at Pina sheepishly, feeling a little guilty. "How come you didn't get mad? Nicolette asked me to distance myself from Tharn but you didn't say anything," he asked, feeling a little curious about her lack of reaction at seeing that happening.

Pina smiled at him reassuringly. "Because I know that you guys are very close. Tharn missed you for years after you left because you were the first friend he ever made. He was so happy to meet you again after all those years. You're more than just a friend to him…." she said. Type felt his heart ready to jump out of his chest. ".... you're like a long lost brother," she added. 

Type stopped and stared at her for a second as he registered her words. He immediately felt a little silly at where his mind had gone and nodded his head in agreement. He realised in the moment that he felt the same way about Tharn. He  _ was _ like a brother he never had. It finally cleared the doubt in his head. He had been questioning what he felt about Tharn for weeks on end. He was starting to think that his feelings were less than innocent, but Pina's words made everything he was feeling for the past few weeks finally make sense. He started chuckling at how much he had been overthinking things. "Yeah, we  _ are _ like long lost brothers," Type confirmed, to himself more than Pina.

"Guys, let's order some dessert," Nicolette said, interrupting their conversation. Pina nodded enthusiastically as she grabbed her hand and led her back to their table. 

Type looked at Tharn and smiled at his realisation. The confusion in his mind was finally settled. Tharn was more than just a friend to him. 

Tharn was his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My network is sort of fixed. Thank god. 
> 
> Sorry for that description of the lobster. I actually love lobster. 
> 
> Beta, thanks for the big ass debate we just had. But, as you mentioned, it's fiction at the end of the day. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	12. 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tharn knew that Type needed some time to process everything so he just sat next to him, without saying a word. Type's mind was still in turmoil, but he felt a sense of calm at being in Tharn's presence. After a long while of staring at Tharn's legs, he slowly closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

"Type, come here," Nicolette said, patting the seat next to her on her couch. Type looked up at her from his position on the floor between the coffee table and the couch. He raised an eyebrow, intrigued, and slowly slid his body up to sit next to her. Nicolette smiled and held his hands in her. "We need to talk about it," she said softly. 

Type knew what she meant immediately as he had been actively avoiding talking about that very topic for a month. Every time she'd start hinting at it, he would change the course of discussion, because he didn't want to think about it. He figured they still had time. But he knew in the moment that he couldn't run away anymore because a month had turned to a few weeks and a few weeks had turned to 7 days. He nodded and looked down at their hands, resigning to the difficult talk they had ahead of them.

"I'm leaving in a week. I've been trying to talk to you about us for a while, but you always run away from me. We can't just not talk about it, Type. It's happening. I have to go back," she said looking at Type's face who was still staring at their hands, afraid to look her in the eyes. "I know. That doesn't change how I feel about you," Type said, still not meeting her eyes. 

Nicolette felt her stomach twist uncomfortably at his words because, in the months they had been together, she had grown too fond of him for her liking; despite their initial arrangement of agreeing to date only till the end of the semester that they had made in the first week of them being in a relationship. She decided not to voice it to him for her own reasons, the biggest of them being the inevitability of her departure. They were going to be in different continents starting next week and she knew that it was time for her to let him go.

"But we can't continue this," she said softly. Type felt pain starting to assault his chest thinking about losing what he had with her as he looked up at her. "Why can't we?" He asked brokenly. Nicolette felt her eyes stinging at the way Type was looking at her, his eyes drenched in sadness. "Because I'm going back now, Type. We knew that this wasn't going to last more than a semester. We even talked about it in the beginning. Remember?" She said, pulling a brave face. "That's what we said then but people change. People's emotions develop and their perspective of things change too. I don't want us to stop being together," Type said pleadingly. Nicolette took small slow breaths to calm herself as she could feel the sobs trying to escape her throat because she wanted nothing in the moment other than what Type was offering but she had to be strong. 

After a few minutes of hesitation, she held his hands tighter. "I know. That's how I feel too," she finally said with a sigh. "Then let's stay together!" Type interjected. Nicolette smiled through the pain that his words brought her and shook her head. "We can't, Type. I'm leaving. We still have three years of college left. Even after that, we don't know if we can be in the same country when we start working. We can't just be in a long distance relationship forever. I can't hold you down like that. We're too young to do that," she said, not really believing her own words, but she knew she had to be the one to convince him.

Type released his hands from her grasp and held the side of her arms, eyes glazed over with tears. "No, Nicolette. I don't care. I'm willing to wait. I don't want to think about what will be, I just know that I want to be with you. You leaving does not change that fact for me right this moment," he said. Nicolette could feel the sobs slowly escaping her body so she shook her head and looked down, trying to calm herself before she said anything, because she couldn't let her emotions sway her. She knew she needed to be as firm and convincing as she could.

"That's the thing. You are thinking of right now. You don't know what the future holds," she said, voice hitching with the onslaught of emotions that she was trying to brave through. Type grabbed her chin to make her look at his eyes to show her his sincerity. "I don't care what the future holds. I want to be with you," Type said. Nicolette couldn't stop the tear that slowly rolled down her face hearing that. She wanted this. She wanted this more than anything. But she knew that she couldn't be selfish anymore. She had been selfish enough by being with him for this long, she knew she had to let him go now. 

"Type, long distance never works," she said with a sob. Type lunged forward and pulled her into his arms. "We'll make it work," he said firmly. Nicolette started to shake her head to disagree with him. "No, it doesn't. I have plenty of friends back home who came back from their exchange without breaking up with their boyfriends but they always end up the same way. Long distance is not easy when you go from spending everyday with the person to not seeing them for months, years even. You slowly lose the connection you have with your partner, no matter how hard you try not to. It's inevitable," she said into his shoulder. 

Type understood what she meant but refused to believe it. "No, that will not happen with us. I don't care. I will call you everyday without fail. I'll text you throughout the day. I will tell you about everything I do so we never lose touch. Please don't break up with me," he said, begging. Nicolette started crying harder because Type was making it impossible for her to do the right thing when all she wanted was to keep him for the rest of her life. But she knew that she had him for as long as she could and it was time for her to let go. She cleared her throat and held his arms to get out of his grip and looked him in the eyes. 

"Type, I know you say that now, but all that slowly stops. The phone calls stop, the messages stop, the familiarity fades. I'm not saying that you won't try, I know you will. I've just seen it happening with too many of my friends. It's the same every time. One day they're so in love and after some time passes, they become strangers. I don't want that to happen to us. I don't want to see our relationship slip away in front of my eyes. I want us to end on a happy note. A clean break, so we don't have to go through the pain of slowly losing something this special. I want to look back at us fondly. I want you to be a beautiful memory," she said, caressing his cheek. Type couldn't help the tears from falling down his face because he knew what she was saying was true, even if he didn't want to admit it. He didn't want that to happen to them. He didn't want them to slowly drift apart. She was his first real girlfriend and he wanted to cherish her memory. But it was too hard for him to let go.

"But…." He began to say but Nicolette suddenly kissed him to stop him from protesting any further. They could both taste the tears on their lips as they kissed softly. Nicolette leaned back a little to look at Type. "Let's just make the best of the last week we have together. Let's make it memorable. Something we will remember for the rest of our lives," she said with a smile. Type returned a sad smile as he brought his lips to hers again.

°°°

  
  


'Can you guys come with me to drop Nicolette off at the airport on Saturday?'

'Of course, Type. 

Are you sure though?

Wouldn't we be intruding on you guys?'

'Shut up, Tharn.

We've literally been hanging out together for months.

You guys need to see her off too anyways.'

'That does make sense. 

Okay, Pina and I will come pick you guys up.'

'Okay.'

'Type.'

'What?'

'Are you doing okay?'

Type stared at that message for a long time. He didn't know how he was supposed to answer such a question. He wasn't doing okay. He had been trying to be brave in front of Nicolette, but he was battling the sadness he could feel in his bones every second of the day. He couldn't let her remember him like that. He wanted her to recall their last days together as a happy memory. He was so close to falling apart everyday, but he held on. He was trying to live in denial as long as it helped him get through the days.

'Yeah. 

We had already discussed this in the beginning.

We knew we were only dating till the end of the semester.'

'I know that.

But it's been a while since you talked about that.

I know that your feelings have gotten a lot deeper since then.

Are you really doing okay?'

'Wow, don't you know everything about me?

I'm doing perfectly fine. 

Now, fuck off.

I need to spend time with Nicolette, not talk to you about how  _ you _ feel about  _ my  _ relationship ending.'

'Oh, sorry!

Go ahead.

We'll see you Saturday.'

'Alright.'

Type threw his phone down on the bed. He was pissed off. He couldn't understand how Tharn always seemed to know exactly what he was feeling. It irritated the hell out of him. 

Tharn stared at the messages for a long while. He knew Type was not doing very well, given his snappy replies. He felt uneasy thinking about what Type might be going through. He couldn't do anything to fix it and it was driving him up the wall. 

°°°

  
  
  


Type smiled at Nicolette standing with her suitcase by her side. She smiled back at him as she walked up to hug him one more time. Type held in the tears that were threatening to spill over and concealed the pain that was shooting down his arms and chest. She released him, still smiling at him. Type held her face between his hands and kissed her one last time. She smiled into the kiss and she broke it by slowly leaning back. "I need to go. I'm going to miss my flight if I stay here any longer," she said. "Maybe that's my plan all along," Type replied with a sad smile. She playfully hit his arm and grabbed her suitcase. She bent to one side to look at Tharn and Pina leaning on the car behind Type and waved at them. They waved back at her and Pina threw her a flying kiss. She hugged Type one more time and turned to walk towards the gate. 

Type stood in place and waved at her till she walked inside, turning to wave at him one last time. As soon as she turned away, the tears and sobs that she had been holding in front of Type finally escaped her. 

She turned to look at Type's figure through the glass walls.

"Goodbye, Type. 

I love you."

  
  


Type saw her disappear inside the gate and finally dropped his hand to his side. The reality of her leaving finally hit him. He didn't even know how to react to it. All he knew at that moment was that it was painful. He slowly turned around to face Tharn and Pina. 

Tharn finally saw Type's pain reflected in his face. He had only seen it in his eyes since the morning, but it was finally fully showing in the way he hunched over and stared at them with his brows furrowed in despair. He could see how much he was hurting and he suddenly felt his vision slowly starting to blur. He wanted to make it better because it hurt him to see Type looking so vulnerable, but he felt helpless because there really was nothing he could do. Type's feelings were not something Tharn could change and he felt like punching the fuck out of something to forget the pain that reality brought to him. 

Pina started walking ahead towards Type and Tharn just stared at her back in confusion. She put her arms around Type, who looked small and broken, and he could feel the sting in his chest at the sight. She was comforting him and he felt bad about the fact that he didn't think of it before her. He walked up to them and put a hand on his shoulder, gently squeezing it to tell him it was going to be okay. 

Type just stood in place as Pina put her arms around him, not that he could feel her touch from how numb he felt at that moment. He just stood there, frozen. 

Until he was thawed by the hand that suddenly held his shoulder. Feeling Tharn touch him after months of him actively avoiding all physical contact with him was what finally broke the dam of emotions that he was holding in. The tears started flowing down his face as sobs wracked his body. Pina tightened her hold around him.

Tharn, seeing Type openly crying, finally came undone. He felt the tears that were blurring his vision start to fall down as he broke through the wall that he had built up between Type and himself over the last few months as he put his arms around him to console his friend. He held on to Type and Pina as he soothed Type's back with one hand in calming motions. 

Type, feeling Tharn's arms around him, instinctively put his arm on his back as he scrunched up his jacket. He leaned his head into his shoulder and cried. He felt Tharn's hand slowly rubbing his back and it made him feel better. He could feel the tears and sobs slowly ebb with every stroke of his palm. 

After Type was all cried out, Pina led him to the car and laid him in the backseat. Type felt like he had let out everything he was feeling so he just laid on his back and stared at the sky through the window, mind completely devoid of thoughts. Tharn looked back at him worriedly as he clicked his seatbelt in and turned around to drive them home. 

°°°

  
  
  


"Why are we here?" Type asked as he got up when he felt the car come to a stop. He looked around to see they were in the parking garage of Tharn's apartment building. Tharn turned his body to look at him with a smile. "Because as your friends, we need to be responsible for you. Wouldn't want to see you die of sadness and neglect, now, would we?" Tharn said jokingly. Type furrowed his eyebrows but couldn't come up with any snarky comments because he knew that Tharn was right. He needed to be around his friends. 

"We can watch a movie. Remember the movie that I told you to watch and you said you really loved? Let's watch that," Pina suggested. Tharn and Type turned to look at each other in horror at the memory of the movie she was talking about and, in unison, screamed, "No!"

Pina jerked backwards at the reaction from the two boys, extremely surprised. Tharn and Type, realising that they had fucked up, started darting their eyes around trying to look for an excuse to not rewatch that terrible movie again. 

"That's a romantic movie. I think that's a bad idea since…. you know," Tharn said gesturing at Type with his hand. Type immediately understood what he was trying to do and nodded furiously as he turned to look between Pina and Tharn. Pina nodded her head and gently touched Type's arm. "I'm so sorry! That was so thoughtless of me," Pina said worriedly. Type just hammed up his sadness more as he nodded his head and looked down, sighing loudly. Tharn had to bite his lips at Type's performance. He couldn't believe they were using Type's actual break up to get out of watching that movie again and they were both in on it. He felt a little guilty towards Pina. And a lot towards Type.

They walked up to the apartment and Type bee lined for the couch. He flopped down on the shorter side of the L-shape and stared emptily at the wall on the other side. Tharn and Pina looked at each other and exchanged a small, knowing, close-lipped smile as she headed into their room to give the boys some space. Tharn walked up to sit next to Type. 

Tharn knew that Type needed some time to process everything so he just sat next to him, without saying a word. Type's mind was still in turmoil, but he felt a sense of calm at being in Tharn's presence. After a long while of staring at Tharn's legs, he slowly closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

Tharn, seeing that Type had finally fallen asleep, walked into the guest room to get him a blanket. He unfurled it on Type and bent down to slowly tuck him in without waking him up. 

Type felt a weight on top of him as he slowly opened his eyes to see Tharn tucking him into a warm blanket. Tharn, seeing that Type had opened his eyes slightly, smiled down at him. Type looked at Tharn, beaming down at him as he felt his hands securing him into the blanket, and felt like he was a kid at their first sleepover again. It was still Tharn that was tucking him into bed, after all these years. He finally felt a little warmth spreading inside him after months of feeling cold. 

He knew it would take a long time for him to heal, but having Tharn back the way they used to be had already started patching up the cracks in his soul.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another day another chapter. I hope we can keep this up.
> 
> Beta, thx bruh. On some days, I know English. I swear.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	13. 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Type looked at the genuine confusion on his face and smiled in frustration at how slow his incredibly smart friend could be sometimes. Tharn always looked so sure, put together and mature from the outside but, in the time he had gotten to know him, Type had realised that Tharn was the exact opposite of that. He was, in actuality, a ball of self-doubt and frustratingly masochistic. Type knew that he had to be the one to protect his friend from his own ways. 

Type sat back with his arms crossed in front of him, leaning back on the bench at the bowling alley. He had changed his method of protest to that with an added scowl every time he lost to Tharn because planking on the bench every time it happened was too much considering how often it happened. Tharn turned around to look at Type and broke into a grin. He missed seeing Type splayed on the bench, but he was still satisfied with the slight pout of frustration on his face. 

"How do you win every time? I've literally only won once against you," Type almost whined making Tharn start to chuckle because he found this new thing even more satisfying. "You just suck. It's high time for you to accept that fact," Tharn said, plopping down next to him. 

Type turned to look at him angrily. "I can't help that my balls love the gutter. This game is rigged against me. How do your balls never end up in the gutter? It's so annoying!" Type said and Tharn froze recalling the time that he let Type win by intentionally rolling his ball into the gutter. The euphemism almost made him start grinning, but he was too stressed to pay it more than a cursory thought. 

"You always bowl on the mark. Except that one time when I won," Type said, thinking out loud, as realisation slowly dawned on him about that day. He had been really upset about his fight with Nicolette and Tharn had won one game before, but suddenly lost in his last turn when the ball rolled into the moat; something that had never happened before then nor had it happened since that day. He turned to look at Tharn incredulously. 

"You! Did you let me win?!" Type asked in an accusatory tone with an equally accusatory finger pointed towards him. Tharn immediately stood up and wiped his hands on his thighs nervously to come up with an excuse because he had been caught red handed. 

"The fried chicken is on me today. Let's go," Tharn said as he hurried towards the exit. He had nothing to say in his defence so he decided to put as much distance between him and the problem as possible, even though he had just invited the problem to follow him to the food court. The irony wasn't lost on him.

His plan was cut short when he felt Type grab onto his hand and pull him back before he could exit. He turned around to look at Type, a little scared to gauge his reaction. He finally met his gaze to see Type smiling at him, looking heavily amused, which confused Tharn. 

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Type said and Tharn just stared at him, confused even further. Type moved his gaze to Tharn's feet, who proceeded to follow Type's line of sight to see that he had almost walked out of the bowling alley with the bowling shoes and broke into a chuckle at his brainfart. Type, recalling how he had almost made the same mistake once before, started chuckling along. He didn't doubt for a second that they really truly were best friends.

°°°

  
  


"How is Pina doing? It's been so long since I've seen her," Type said, taking a sip of his soda. "You and me both. She hasn't come to Bangkok for 3 weeks already. This is the longest I've gone without seeing her," Tharn said, a little saddened at the thought. Type felt bad for his friend. "Yeah, we've been seeing much less of her since she moved back home after her graduation," Type said, missing the other half of his friend too. Without her around, they just ended up bowling or hanging out at Tharn's place on the weekends. The few rare times she visited, Type gave them the space they needed. The three musketeers were no more. It saddened him to think about it.

"She said she'll come see me next weekend. But that's what she said last weekend. And the weekend before that. She's just so busy with work," Tharn said, sighing and taking a bite of his chicken. "Yeah, I was taken aback to know that her family is in the import/export business and that she joined it. It's such a far cry from her personality. I thought she'd do something more interesting and adventurous in life like becoming a scuba diver or a paraglider or a base jumper," Type said, picturing Pina in all of those roles. Tharn grinned, agreeing with Type's hypothesis. 

"Maybe the reason she dragged us out to do something adventurous every weekend was because she needed to get it out of her system before she had to resign into joining the family business. She had no other option given she's the only child," Tharn said. Type turned to look at him in interest because his words did make a lot of sense. "Well, I'm glad she did because, that way, at least we had a freshmen year to remember," Type said. Tharn nodded in agreement and smiled at him, recalling just how amazing last year was.

"How are you doing?" Tharn asked after a moment of silent chewing and Type turned to look at him, very puzzled. He couldn't understand what he meant because Tharn was the one who was pining after his girlfriend. "What do you mean?" He asked, staring at Tharn quizzically. 

Tharn, seeing his reaction, couldn't help but be amused when he recalled how much better Type had looked after he came back from the semester break. He had improved even further in the last two months since their new semester started. He seemed to be doing so much better now than the time he spent moping around Tharn's apartment in a depressive state post Nicolette's departure.

Those two depressing weeks, for Tharn and Type both, had felt like two decades to Tharn. He had watched his friend suffering silently, making a nest of cushions and blankets on his couch that he refused to leave for that entire duration. Tharn had never been that worried in his life. What made it worse was knowing that he couldn't fix it for Type, no matter how much he wanted to. So, he sat right next to him for those two weeks, lending him his silent support. Tharn just felt glad he could be there for Type, even if the only thing he could offer him was his company. He knew perfectly well how awful and lonely it felt to go through that alone. 

Tharn looked at him, his brows knitted in confusion, looking like the old Type again: the Type that hadn't been through a heartbreak; and felt a little glad that he had bounced back. 

"I'm asking how are you doing now? Everything okay with…. everything?" Tharn asked, still not being able to utter her name in front of Type, afraid he might trigger him. He did not want to deal with it again because it took a big toll on him to see Type go through that.

Type just furrowed his brows in further confusion. He couldn't, for the life of him, understand what Tharn was trying to hint at. "Can you explain, you know, in  _ human _ ?" Type asked, perplexed but amused. Tharn sighed, knowing he had to cut to the chase and stop beating around the bush. "About everything with Nicolette," he said in a small voice, avoiding Types gaze. He was scared to see if his words affected him.

Type, seeing how nervous Tharn looked to broach that topic when it had already been months, couldn't help but start laughing. Tharn turned to look at him, bewildered at his reaction. "It's been 5 months, Tharn. That's almost half a year. I'm fine. She's fine too. We do still talk to each other sometimes. She has even started dating someone new. We've both happily moved on," Type said truthfully because Tharn had been instrumental in his process of healing. He had been there for Type every turn of the way and Type felt thankful to have him in his life again. 

Tharn smiled at hearing his friend was doing better and that he had gotten over what he was sure was the most traumatic episode he had ever gone through in his life. He felt a huge sense of relief as the invisible weight that had been on his chest since that day finally lifted. 

"I'm glad to hear that," Tharn said sincerely. Type raised his eyebrows, a little thrown at how Tharn had turned the topic of discussion from his problem to being concerned about Type again. He couldn't figure out why Tharn always put everyone and their issues before his own. That thought bothered him a little. 

"You're too fucking nice. You're going to be steamrolled on the pavement if you keep that up," Type said which took Tharn aback. "What?" 

Type looked at the genuine confusion on his face and smiled in frustration at how slow his incredibly smart friend could be sometimes. Tharn always looked so sure, put together and mature from the outside but, in the time he had gotten to know him, Type had realised that Tharn was the exact opposite of that. He was, in actuality, a ball of self-doubt and frustratingly masochistic. Type knew that he had to be the one to protect his friend from his own ways. 

Type smiled up at Tharn and just shook his head and went back to finishing his food. Tharn continued to stare at Type for a while. After he realised Type was not going to offer up an explanation, he went back to his food too wondering what Type had meant by that.

°°°

  
  


"Why didn't she come this time?" Type asked between the game he was playing with Tharn. Tharn had invited him to come to his place for the weekend, citing that Pina couldn't make it that weekend too. "She said that some shipments were delayed so she had a lot of paperwork to catch up on," Tharn said with a sigh, a little wistful at not seeing her for a month because he really missed her.

"That sucks. But I guess she has to be an adult now. She can no longer hang with loser college students like us anymore," Type said, jokingly elbowing the side of his arm. Tharn smiled at the gesture and realised Type was right. He felt a little guilty for missing her so much all the time when she had actual, real life problems to deal with now. 

"Yeah, at least we still have three years to be loser college students before we have to resign to becoming boring adults, so that's nice," Tharn said. "Two and a half almost. We're already well into our third semester," Type said, correcting him which made Tharn chuckle. He couldn't believe that time was flying by so fast. He felt like it was just yesterday that he met Type again and it had already been over a year since they had been back in each other's lives. He couldn't believe it. Any of it. It all seemed like a fever dream to him sometimes. He never thought he'd meet his friend after realising he had lost him all those years back. But there he was, sitting right next to him, trying his hardest to beat him at the game they were playing and failing miserably, much to his delight. 

°°°

  
  


Type was settling down for the night as he slid into his bed when his phone suddenly went off. He reached for it and turned it around to see it was Tharn calling. He was confused as to why he would be calling him at quarter to 11 on a Tuesday night as he tapped the icon to answer.

"Hello?"

"Type," Tharn whispered. Type could sense something was really wrong from the tone of his voice. He felt something twist his insides painfully. 

"Tharn? Are you okay?" He asked, worried. Tharn sighed and Type heard the edge of a sob at the end of his sigh and it confirmed to him that something was really wrong. 

"I'm coming over. Stay home," Type said, throwing his cover off and stuffing his wallet and keys into his sweats, not even bothering to change his clothes before he dashed out the door.

Type was a ball of anxiety during the entirety of the cab ride to Tharn's place. His brain had conjured up every kind of scenario that could have been the cause of Tharn's distress. He wondered if Tharn's family was okay. He wondered if someone was sick. He wondered if Pina was okay. He remembered that Tharn mentioned him having a pet dog at home who was quite old. He wondered if he died. 

As soon as he got close to Tharn's apartment building, he took out some bills from his wallet and gave it to the driver, not even waiting to get the change back. He jumped out of the cab and ran to the elevator. 

The elevator ride somehow seemed even longer than the cab ride when Tharn's apartment was only on the 6th floor. As soon as he reached his floor, he leapt out before the elevator doors had even fully opened and ran to Tharn's apartment. He rang the bell and knocked continuously till he heard the click of the door unlocking. 

He waited with bated breath as the door slowly creaked open to reveal Tharn and his stomach dropped at the sight of him. Tharn looked gaunt. His eyes puffy, his nose a bright shade of red, his face sunken in and his gaze empty and sad. 

"What happened Tharn?" Type asked. Tharn just turned around and walked into the living room with his back hunched. Type carefully followed him, slowly closing the door behind him. He watched Tharn stalk to the couch and plop down on it, staring at the empty television screen with equally empty eyes. 

Type could feel panic slowly overtaking his body looking at Tharn's state. He couldn't begin to fathom what could make him look like that. He hurriedly sat next to him, turning his body to face Tharn as he tried to search his face for the answer behind the questions plaguing his mind. 

"Tharn, what happened?" He asked softly. Tharn slowly blinked and turned to look at him. Type could see his eyes glazing over in front of him as a solitary tear spilled from his right eye. Type felt hot knives carving his chest at the sight of it. 

Tharn contorted his face in pain and, with a broken sob, finally opened up to Type. 

"She's getting married."

Type narrowed his eyes in confusion. "Who's getting married?"

Tharn looked down and a sob wracked his body. "Pina," he said looking back up at Type. 

Type felt the rug being pulled out from underneath him. 

  
  
  


  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I sure did not. My lord, writing angst really takes it out of me. 
> 
> Beta, sorry for my English. It's almost like I haven't been learning the language since school.


	14. 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tharn felt smaller and smaller under Type's unflinching gaze. He couldn't help but feel like it was his fault to begin with. He felt like he had let himself be strung along.

Type couldn't believe what he was hearing. It made no sense at all. Pina loved Tharn. He knew that for sure because he saw them together all the time. He could see how she always tended to him, took care of him, opened him up to new things. She had even been the one to ask him out. He couldn't, for the life of him, start to understand why she would marry someone else when she loved Tharn. Unless the decision wasn't hers to make….

"Is she being forced?" Type asked, sounding a little crazed. Tharn stared back at him with the same empty eyes, tears still rolling down his face. "No," he said as he shook his head. 

Type was thrown off by his reply. It wasn't possible. Pina would never leave Tharn. There was no way in hell she'd marry someone else. "Are you sure it's not one of those business marriages?" Type asked again, knowing that it was commonplace for such marriages to occur in high society.

Tharn sighed and broke into a sob as he started shaking his head again. "She's getting married because her boyfriend proposed to her," Tharn said in a broken voice. 

Type was even more confused by this reply.  _ Tharn _ was her boyfriend. Tharn most definitely did not propose to her because he was still in the second year of college. "Did you propose to her?" Type asked to confirm his doubt. Tharn looked up at Type and smiled sadly as he wiped his tears. "No. Her boyfriend. Her high school boyfriend," Tharn said, feeling his insides churn in pain with every word that left his mouth. 

Type was overcome with confusion and a bit of annoyance. "So her old boyfriend asked her to marry her and she said yes?" He asked, starting to get a little angry. Tharn laughed brokenly, which befuddled Type. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because it's funny," Tharn said, his voice still shaking. Type didn't find it funny at all. He wondered if Tharn was trying to pull his leg. But the very real tear streaks on Tharn's face confirmed to him that he wasn't joking. "Can you please explain what the hell is going on? I can't understand a word of what you're saying," Type said and Tharn broke into another pained smile. 

"Her high school boyfriend  _ is _ her boyfriend. I guess, her fiancé now," Tharn said as fresh tears started running down his face. Type was utterly puzzled because  _ Tharn _ was her boyfriend but he had just referred to Pina's old boyfriend as her boyfriend. He thought about it for a while and that's when it finally shined on him.

"Don't tell me….." Type said, standing up from the couch in shock as Tharn turned his head to stare at Type, seeing the look of realisation dawning on his face. 

".... she was two-timing you?" Type asked, pointing at Tharn in pure shock. Tharn wiped his tears with the back of his hands and turned to look back at Type. "She was two-timing  _ him. I  _ was the side guy," Tharn said in a small voice. 

Type could not believe his ears. Pina, the girl he thought was perfect this whole time, had not only tricked Tharn but also him for over a year with them being none the wiser. He felt fury unleash within him at the realisation for Tharn and for himself. He drove Tharn into her arms even further by telling him how perfect they were for each other all the time. He felt like he had wronged Tharn when he had decided to be the one to protect him. He couldn't believe that Pina was a literal wolf in sheep's clothing. She had tricked him. She had tricked Tharn. And he knew that Tharn was never going to be the same when he looked at the total mess that was his friend in front of him. 

"What an evil bitch!" He screamed and Tharn turned to look at Type starting to angrily pace in front of the couch. He didn't have anything going through his mind because all he felt was numb. The woman he was in love with had not only left him, but also told him that he was only her side piece. He couldn't even begin to wrap his head around anything that happened at the moment. 

"Did you not know about this at all?" Type asked, puzzled at how Tharn dated her for over a year and still didn't find anything she did suspicious. He knew that Tharn was too good at finding excuses for people's behaviours even when they offered no explanation for it. "No," Tharn said, trying to think of anything that would have raised a flag in his mind. 

"So he's also from Phuket?" Type asked and Tharn nodded his head to say yes. As soon as he did, something struck out in his mind. Phuket. 

"Yes!" He exclaimed as he suddenly stood up. Type jerked back at his sudden reaction. "What? He's from Phuket?" Type asked and Tharn started to violently shake his head. "No, there was something that I missed. I didn't think much of it because her explanation made sense to me back then," Tharn said with eyes open wide at the realisation. 

"What was it?" Type asked, curious to know for himself. "She never wanted to go to Phuket with me. She always made up an excuse every time I brought it up," he said, slowly letting the reality of it come to light inside his mind. "Really? And you didn't think that was weird?" Type asked. 

"No, because the first time I asked her was when you told us you wanted us to join Nicolette and you in Phuket. She made an excuse back then that made sense to me so I agreed to abandon that idea and asked you guys to join us to go camping instead," Tharn said, feeling a little stupid for missing the obvious red flag. "What excuse did she give you?" Type asked, wanting to know for himself how she slithered her way out of that. 

"She said that Phuket was a romantic destination and that she didn't want us to intrude into you guys' romantic getaway. She also said that, since she was from Phuket, she didn't want to go there on a vacation," Tharn said with the truth behind his words stabbing at his insides because he had been so blind to it. "What a load of crap! We hung out together all the time and she only had a problem with us hanging out together in Phuket? Also, she's from Phuket. It's obvious that you'd want her to accompany you because she'd know the place better," Type said, seething at the downright laughable excuses she had given to Tharn. 

Tharn stopped for a second to take in Type's words and felt even more stupid. He realised he had fallen for such lame excuses and it made him feel like a real imbecile. He was so in love with her that he never questioned her intentions. 

"So, you're saying that she never took you there because she would have exposed her actual life that she tried to keep hidden from you?" Type asked. Tharn snapped his head to look at Type who had already solved the puzzle when Tharn was the one who was holding all the pieces.

"Yeah, I guess that's why she didn't want us to go to Phuket together," Tharn said in a small voice, tearing his gaze away from Type. Type felt hot fury starting to course through his veins at how she had deceived Tharn. "What a two faced bitch! And to think I considered you to be lucky to be dating someone like her," Type said angrily. Tharn turned to look back at Type again, feeling guilty for having dragged him into the mess he created himself. "I'm sorry," he said.

Type snapped out of his thoughts, that were mostly focused on murder, and looked at him. "What? What are you apologising for? She cheated on  _ you, _ " Type said. Tharn hunched his shoulders even more and avoided his eyes. "Because I was the one who introduced you to her. If I hadn't, you wouldn't be feeling like this," Tharn said.

Type was lost the moment those words left Tharn's lips. He wanted to slap some sense into him for blaming himself for something that was not even his fault to begin with. "Tharn, are you fucking serious? You can't be seriously blaming yourself right now. She cheated on  _ you _ . She strung  _ you _ along when she already had someone back home. She used  _ you _ . So why in the fuck are you apologising to me?" Type said angrily. 

Tharn felt smaller and smaller under Type's unflinching gaze. He couldn't help but feel like it was his fault to begin with. He felt like he had let himself be strung along. "I don't know," Tharn said softly. Type sighed frustratedly and pulled Tharn to sit down on the couch. "Tharn, I need you to understand that you're not at fault. This was all her. She is the one who approached you. She is the one who pushed you to date her. She is the one who took advantage of you. She is the one at fault. Not you. Do you understand me?" Type said, bringing a hand to Tharn's shoulder. Tharn slowly nodded his head, understanding Type's words but not fully agreeing with them.

"I guess she played the both of us. I was right next to you the whole time, thinking she's the best person you could ever dream of dating because she was so intuitive and understanding. I never even realised that she did that because she knew how to play us, not because she was genuinely taking an interest in us," Type said, scoffing. Tharn was taken aback at that revelation because he realised that Type was right. He always thought of her as the best girlfriend ever because she knew exactly how he was feeling and could read him like an open book. The things she did for him made him feel so special and lucky. He realised now that it was all a play to win his unwavering trust. She didn't even have the decency to break up with him face to face. 

"So, how did you come to know about all this?" Type asked. Tharn broke out of his chain of thoughts and turned to look at him. "She called me and broke up with me. She told me that she had a boyfriend already and that she was getting married to him because he proposed to her. I was so taken aback by it because I thought she was joking. She told me that she just dated me for fun because she knew she was going to get married to her boyfriend eventually. She said she figured that, since I was still very young, I wouldn't take dating her too seriously. She wished me good luck and hung up. I was at a complete loss. I couldn't even say anything back to her at that moment because it was too much for me to take in all at once," Tharn said, still trying to make sense of that phone call. 

Type saw red when he heard the entirety of it and how she had broken the news to Tharn. He couldn't believe that she took Tharn so lightly. He couldn't believe that she didn't see how sincerely he loved her. Tharn was obviously someone who loved very deeply and passionately. It came off in his mannerisms. He knew that she wasn't blind to not see it. He figured she used that part of Tharn to her advantage too. "So you're saying that she dumped all that on you and broke up with you on a call? After dating you for a whole year?" Type asked angrily.

Tharn looked at Type and nodded. Type couldn't hold the fury inside anymore. He grabbed Tharn by the arm and pulled them both into a standing position. Tharn was taken aback by that sudden action and looked at Type worriedly. "Type, what are you doing?" 

"What do you think? We're going to Phuket to see that bitch and getting some answers face to face," Type said as he turned to drag Tharn towards the door. Tharn felt fear start to ripple throughout his body at Type's declaration and grabbed onto his arm to pull him back. Type turned to look back at Tharn angrily and Tharn shrunk into himself. "Type, I can't," he said pleadingly. 

"I know  _ you  _ can't. That's why  _ I'm _ making you," Type said turning back around to drag Tharn closer to the door. Tharn could feel the panic in his chest at the prospect of confronting Pina and grabbed Type's arm with both hands, trying to pull him further back into the living room. Type didn't let go of Tharn's arm and kept trying to drag him out of his house and Tharn knew that it was going to be a tug-of-war so he decided to use his words instead.

"I can't see her again," Tharn said. Type stopped trying to yank him towards the door and turned to look at Tharn. 

Tharn, relieved at finally getting through to Type, pulled him back further into the living room. "Why?" Type asked.

"Because I can't look at her again. I am too embarrassed about having been played for a fool all this time. She broke my trust. She took everything from me and then left. I still love her very much and I know that I will find myself grovelling in front of her, asking her to take me back despite everything she did to me, if I see her again. That's why I can't face her. I've already lost too much in one night. I can't lose myself any further," Tharn said sincerely. 

Type stared at Tharn for a few seconds and nodded his head because he could see that happening. He didn't want Tharn to stoop to that level so he released his hands. He didn't want to be responsible for murdering two people if that happened. He turned around and purposely started walking towards the door again. Tharn, surprised by the sudden development and seeing Type trying to retreat out of the door, was thrown for a loop.

"Where are you going?" He asked. Type turned to look at him with a scowl on his face. "I'm going to Phuket alone. You can't see her, but I can," he said, opening the door. Tharn felt a flash of panic as he ran to the door and shut it with his back, trapping Type inside his house. 

"You can't!" Tharn said, scared. Type furrowed his brows in annoyance. "Yes, I can. And I will," he said as he tried to push Tharn away from the door. Tharn stood unrelenting, grabbing on to the door handle. "Let go, Tharn. You can't stop me from seeing her," Type said, trying to pry his hands from the door handle. Tharn was panicking even more when his hand started slipping from the handle. 

"You can't!" He screamed, which caused Type to stop and stare at him in bewilderment. He had never heard Tharn's voice at that decibel. "Why?"

"You can't leave me alone!" Tharn screamed, the truth of the words that escaped him rang clear in the room.

Upon hearing Tharn, Type's hands immediately fell off the handle. He stood there, frozen and silent. He said he would protect Tharn and, in his one-track mind focused on revenge, he thought the best course of action would be to confront Pina. He had forgotten about the fact that Tharn needed him the most at that moment and he was just about to abandon him. He felt icy jabs of guilt assaulting his chest recalling how Tharn had stayed by his side for weeks on end when he broke up with Nicolette and he was just about to walk out on Tharn, given the fact that his break up was a cakewalk compared to the shit show that Tharn's turned out to be. He felt a wave of hurt crash over him for his best friend. 

Type gently reached for Tharn's arm and led him back into the living room. Tharn stared at Type, confused at what was happening, as Type made him sit down on the couch. Type pushed his torso further in by his shoulders to make him lie down and Tharn stared at Type with his heart beating out of his chest because he didn't know what was happening. Type held up Tharn's head and pushed a cushion under his neck and moved away. Tharn felt his heartbeat normalise when he realised that Type was merely trying to make him comfortable and mentally scoffed at where his mind had gone. Type went to fetch Tharn's blanket and walked back out. He unfurled it and placed it on his body and tucked him in. Tharn stared at the concentration on Type's face and couldn't help but be confused by what was happening. Type moved back to sit next to him and turned on the television. 

Tharn, slowly understanding that this was Type's way of consoling him, felt a small warmth spreading through his grief battered chest. He stared at Type's lap for a long time, mind still fraught with confusion, as he slowly drifted off to sleep. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who else assumed Pina would be the main antagonist? That's what my beta had speculated. I'm not even going to mention the specific theory they had come up with. It had to do with Pina and corporate espionage. Make of that what you will. Haha
> 
> But, unfortunately, Pina's curtain has fallen. 
> 
> Or has it?
> 
> Beta, thanks once again.


	15. 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you think I'm a dumbass?"
> 
> Type smiled at how Tharn was slurring his words a little. "Constantly," he replied with a smirk. Tharn widened his eyes and then relaxed his face as he started nodding his head. "Yeah, I guess so. I wouldn't have found myself in this situation if I wasn't a dumbass," he said as he turned to the bartender to order another whiskey. 

Type walked out of the guest room, rubbing his eyes, having just woken up. He headed to the kitchen for a drink of water. As soon as he entered the living room, he saw Tharn's figure curled up on the couch. He figured Tharn had fallen asleep on the couch again. He walked up to him and gently nudged him to wake him up for class. Tharn slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Type. 

"Did you sleep out here again?" Type asked, voice still thick with sleep. Tharn nodded as he slowly pushed himself off the couch. "It's been weeks, Tharn. Why do you sleep out here? You have a perfectly nice bed inside which is a lot more comfortable than this couch," Type said. Tharn furrowed his brows as he stared at the floor.

"I can't sleep in there," he said, a decibel above a whisper. Type was puzzled as he stared at Tharn with a confused scowl. "Why?"

Tharn shifted uncomfortably in his seat at having to voice the reason out loud because he wasn't truly ready to. It was too embarrassing. But, he knew it was time to tell Type because he had been staying with him for weeks now. He had been there for him, quietly taking care of him, helping him perform day to day function. He had taken up the responsibility to drive them to and from university. He made sure that he was fed and showered everyday. Type had kept him alive for the past month. He couldn't just keep the truth from him. He owed him a lot more than that. 

"Because that was  _ our _ bedroom," Tharn said, feeling his eyes start to water at the realisation that Pina was really gone. 

Type felt anger pulsing inside him at Tharn's words. He couldn't believe that she had tainted everything in Tharn's life before she abandoned him to a point where he couldn't even be comfortable in his own home. She had taken so much from him and, even after she had left, she was still taking from Tharn. And what felt worse was the realisation that Type couldn't do anything to make it better. He figured burning the house down with all her memories along with it wasn't really a rational idea, but it was the only one he could come up with at the moment. He turned to look back at Tharn who was still staring at the ground. 

"We're going out today," Type said. Tharn immediately turned to look at Type. "What?"

"We are going out today," Type said again, more firmly. Tharn started to open his mouth to tell him no but Type, sensing what Tharn was going to say, cut him off. "We've been cooped up in this house for weeks. You've literally become one with the couch and I haven't left the house except to go to classes. This is not up for debate. We are going out and we are getting drunk. It's a right of passage for getting over a break up anyway."

Tharn kept a steady gaze on Type's face and felt a little bad for making him stay locked up in his house for so long just because he couldn't get over a girl who had strung him along and kicked him to the curb when she was done with him. It was his fault for falling in love with her so easily anyway. Type had nothing to do with the situation he found himself in and felt guilty for dragging him down with him. He could do with getting drunk. Anything to stop feeling the constant pain that cut through his soul sounded like a good idea. "Okay."

Type immediately broke into a smile and grabbed Tharn's arm. He dragged him to his bathroom and squeezed some toothpaste on his brush and handed it to Tharn. Tharn stared at it and felt his stomach twist in pain. Type stared at him, confused by the look on Tharn's face. "Aren't you going to brush your teeth?" He asked. "That's Pina's toothbrush," Tharn said, still staring at Type's hand. 

Type felt like the toothbrush burnt him when he realised it belonged to that bitch and started to search the bathroom floor for a dustbin. When he couldn't find one, he turned to look at the frosted window next to the shower cubicle. He walked up to it, opened it with one hand, and flung the toothbrush out. 

"Done. If you have anything else of hers here, just let me know. I'm good at flinging things out the window, like you just observed," Type said, turning back around to look at him. Tharn just stared at him in bewilderment and finally broke into a smile after weeks. He felt incredibly lucky to have Type by his side. 

Type, seeing Tharn smiling after what seemed like forever, felt a warmth spreading in his chest. He had half a mind to tear through Tharn's room for Pina's belongings to toss them out the window one by one to keep that smile on his face. 

Tharn finally turned around and squeezed toothpaste onto his brush himself. Type, seeing the slight happiness in his eyes after ages, felt like Tharn was finally healing. 

°°°

  
  


Tharn and Type entered the pub to find it quite crowded. It was Friday evening so they figured it was nothing out of the ordinary. They headed to the bar and miraculously found two empty stools and sat down. They ordered a beer each and slowly sipped on their drinks, not saying much to each other, slightly swaying to the music coming from the speakers. 

"This is not strong enough," Tharn said as he ordered himself a large whiskey. Type stuck to beer because he wasn't a big drinker and he had to take care of Tharn that night. He couldn't do that if he got shit faced. 

After Tharn had downed 4 large whiskeys and Type was still sipping on his fourth beer, Tharn turned to look at Type, a little inebriated. "Do you think I'm a dumbass?"

Type smiled at how Tharn was slurring his words a little. "Constantly," he replied with a smirk. Tharn widened his eyes and then relaxed his face as he started nodding his head. "Yeah, I guess so. I wouldn't have found myself in this situation if I wasn't a dumbass," he said as he turned to the bartender to order another whiskey. 

Type felt his stomach drop. He was supposed to help Tharn get over his slump and instead he had just insulted him. He felt like he needed to rectify his mistake. He grabbed Tharn's shoulder and turned him towards himself. 

"No, Tharn. You're not a dumbass.  _ She _ was a goddamn viper. Even  _ I _ didn't see it coming. This is all on her. Don't you fucking start blaming yourself or, I swear to god, I'm going to beat some sense into you," Type said threateningly. Tharn started chuckling at his friend's speech. "You don't have your weapon with you so I don't feel too scared right now," Tharn said, still chuckling. Type furrowed his brows in confusion. "What the fuck does that mean?" He asked. 

Tharn, recalling the memory of Type threatening to beat him with a small bone at the foodcourt a long time ago, laughed to himself. "Remember when you threatened to beat me up with that chicken bone?" He asked, grinning at Type. Type tried to think of what Tharn meant by that, when that specific memory suddenly came back to him, making him laugh too.

"Yeah, imagine how much worse it will be with this…." Type said, gesturing at his beer bottle. He saw Tharn widen his eyes, looking a little scared, and burst out laughing again. Tharn, seeing Type laughing, realised he was only kidding and smiled in relief as he took a worried sip of his drink. 

"But seriously, don't blame yourself. She's the bitch here. You did nothing wrong. She manipulated you. You can't blame yourself for her actions," Type said leaning in with sincere eyes. Tharn felt his words resonate with him in his current tipsy state. With his inhibitions lowered, the part of his brain that felt the constant need to put the blame on himself seemed to have gone to sleep as he finally admitted to himself that he really was not at fault. His lips turned up into a lopsided smile at Type who had helped him come to that realisation. 

"Yeah, I really wasn't at fault. It was her fault," Tharn said. Type hearing those words coming out of Tharn's lips, felt pure joy wash over him as he broke into a grin, realising that Tharn was actually getting better, after seeing him waste away on his couch for a month. It had been a trying and painful month for him too. He was relieved to hear that he had stopped blaming himself and that was a big step for Tharn. 

"Yes! Exactly!" Type exclaimed excitedly. "She's a bitch!" Tharn said, chuckling. Type couldn't believe his ears realising Tharn actually cursed at her. He never cursed at anybody. He felt giddy. "A whore!" Type said, smiling at Tharn. 

"A snake!" Tharn said.

"A tramp!" Type said, louder.

"A wench!" Tharn said, even louder

"A harlot!" Type said, almost screaming at that point.

"A bitch!" Tharn screamed. "You already said that," Type said and Tharn turned to look at him. "I did, didn't I?" Tharn smiled at the realisation. "But that's how much of a bitch she is. Saying it once is not enough," Tharn said with a chuckle. Type broke into a big grin at seeing his friend blaming the right person. 

"Okay, it's time for some shots," Type said, abandoning his previous idea to stay sober because Tharn had made incredible progress. It was something to celebrate. "Yes! Shots!" Tharn said excitedly, a little over tipsy at that point. They both downed 2 shots of tequila and Type started feeling the alcohol.

"When is that bitch getting married?" Type asked, turning to look at Tharn. Tharn shrugged his shoulders and turned to look at Type. "She didn't mention it," he said. 

"We should find out and then go ruin the wedding," Type said, starting to form ideas in his head. "How do you plan on doing that?" Tharn asked, a little amused at the prospect. 

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll print out a giant banner with 'Cheating Bitch' superimposed on her forehead and unfurl it when the ceremony is starting," Type suggested which made Tharn start laughing. "That's genius. What else could you do?" Tharn asked.

"Sleep with her mom on the bed set up for her and her groom for their first night?" Type said which made Tharn slap the bar as he started laughing louder. "That's even better!" Tharn said.

"We could pull a Carrie on her, but instead of a bucket of blood, it will be a bucket of poisonous snakes because she's a poisonous snake," Type said and Tharn stared at him in disbelief. "Maybe not that one. That sounds a little dangerous. What if you get bitten when trying to set that up? That would be extremely counter-productive," Tharn said, smiling at the ridiculous idea that Type had come up with. 

Type nodded his head and agreed that the last one wasn't his finest idea, so he decided he needed more alcohol. He ordered them 2 more shots each and they downed it quickly. 

The DJ's voice suddenly came through the speakers as the music stopped and he announced that they were starting karaoke. Tharn turned to look at Type excitedly because he thought up the most perfect song. Type stared at Tharn's eyes twinkling in excitement and felt lighter than he had in ages. "I'm going to put in my name," Tharn said as he got up to walk to the DJ booth. Type, very tipsy at that point, just stared at Tharn's retreating figure with a smile on his face. 

"So, what song are you going to sing?" Type asked him as Tharn came back and started settling down on his stool. "You'll see. It's a surprise," Tharn said, smiling playfully at Type.

They had downed a drink each by the time Tharn's name was called by the DJ and he walked up to the stage. Type stood up from his seat to look at Tharn better. An unfamiliar tune started to play and Tharn started singing. His singing voice was beautiful. Type couldn't believe that he was good at singing too. The girls around started murmuring about how handsome he was and Type beamed with pride. Type listened to the words that Tharn was singing and started laughing like a madman when he realised why he wanted to keep it a secret from Type because it was a song about how Tharn would ruin the wedding. He beamed at how happy Tharn looked after weeks of seeing him curling up into a ball on the couch. Type felt truly happy. 

Tharn walked back to him and Type saw how many girls tried to talk to him as he was trying to make his way back to the bar. Tharn just smiled at them politely and didn't stop to talk to anyone as he made a bee line for Type, who was smiling like an idiot at him. 

Tharn finally made his way to Type and grinned at him. "Speak Now- Taylor Swift," Tharn said, letting Type know what song he was singing. Type broke into a wider grin at the realisation that Tharn not only listened to Taylor Swift, but also knew the entire lyrics to the song, because he never even looked at the screen once throughout his performance. 

"So, according to the song, are you trying to take Pina away from the guy?" Type asked quizzically, that part really made no sense to him. Tharn started chuckling at the conclusion that Type had come up with and shook his head. "No, exactly like the song states: I'm going to take the groom away from her. We'd run away, get married, and live happily ever after. She wronged the both of us. Wouldn't that be the best way to get back at her?" Tharn asked with a playful grin. Type couldn't hold himself back as he started giggling at Tharn's explanation, nodding in agreement.

"More shots!" Type said and Tharn agreed immediately, still high on his performance. 

°°°

  
  


Type opened his eyes to feel a pounding sensation in his brain from the amount of alcohol they had drank the night before. He rubbed his forehead and felt pain surging through his arms. He set his arms down again on top of the sheets. He slowly opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling and immediately felt unfamiliar with the sight in front of him. He looked to his right to see a desk with Tharn's family picture on it. He realised he was in Tharn's bedroom and wondered how he got there. The last thing he remembered was Tharn and him talking after Tharn's performance and the rest of it was a chasm. 

He slowly turned his head to the left side to see the back of Tharn's head sticking out from under the blanket. He realised Tharn had probably carried him back home given how drunk he was. He couldn't even remember how he got back. 

He decided to bite the bullet and get up because he could tell that the pounding in his head would not let him fall back asleep. He put his hands to his sides to push his aching body off the bed. As soon as he pushed his torso up to a sitting position, he felt a searing pain in his back. 

The familiarity of that sensation made his breath start to shorten and panic rise up his chest. He hurriedly pulled the covers off him to see that he was completely naked. He prayed to every god he could think of to let his current state be because of the alcohol and not what he was thinking as he covered himself back up. He figured the only one who could answer that question was lying next to him so he raised a shaky hand towards the sleeping figure and shook him a little. 

Tharn started squirming under his touch but didn't wake up so he shook him harder. Tharn finally turned on his back as he slowly opened his eyes and grabbed his forehead. The cover slipped from Tharn's body at his movement and Type's throat went dry when he realised that Tharn was not wearing a shirt. 

Tharn furrowed his brows and turned to look at Type, confused at the face he was pulling. "What? What happened?" He asked groggily. 

"Tharn, did we…. did we…." Type started to say, but the words were caught in his throat. He couldn't form the sentence without feeling the horror of it dawn on him.

Tharn blinked at him, confused about what Type was trying to say to him. He could barely function with the killer hangover he was having, so he pushed himself up and leaned on the headboard. He turned to look at Type with one eyelid closed because the room was blinding. "Did we, what?" He asked.

Type could not form the words. He looked around the bed to see if he could find something that would give him the answer because he couldn't ask Tharn. The words refused to fall out of his mouth for the fear of him speaking it into reality.

Tharn, realising that Type was just spewing nonsense because of how hungover he was, pushed the covers off him because his bladder was about to burst. As soon as he did, he came face to face with his very naked dick. He quickly covered himself up and searched the bed for his boxers. He looked up at Type to see he was frozen in place, staring at his now covered crotch with eyes the size of saucers. 

He quickly averted his gaze and looked down on the floor and the sight of it, made him freeze, much like Type. 

Next to his boxers, he saw two condoms that were unrolled and looked to be used. He realised why he was naked and turned to look at Type in horror. Type was still burning a hole in the sheets with his stare. He bent down to grab his boxers and uncovered another used condom hidden underneath it. Fear gripped his soul as he quickly put his boxers on under the sheets. He tried to slap himself to see if he was still dreaming, but all he came back to was Type's unflinching stare and a slight burn on the side of his face on account of the slap. It was real. He was really there. He turned to look at Type and saw that he was shirtless too. His eyes travelled down his torso to see the slight curve of his naked ass on the bed that was not covered by the sheet. 

"Type, did we…." Tharn started to say, when he realised that that was exactly what Type was trying to ask him. 

Type snapped his head up to look into Tharn's eyes. "I don't know! That's why I'm asking you! Did we?" Type asked, sounding close to crazed. 

Tharn looked back down at the condoms on the floor and back up at Type. He pushed himself off the bed and bent down to pick them up one by one. He bunched them in one hand and brought it up to show Type. 

As soon as Type saw the condom, no, condoms in Tharn's hands that looked like they were used, he realised that the worse had come true as he started gasping for air that refused to fill his lungs. 

___

(Extra note)

For the people who don't know the Taylor Swift song, I'm going to post the lyrics. In the story, Tharn sings it as is. He doesn't change the pronouns or anything.

_I am not the kind of girl_   
_Who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion_   
_But you are not the kind of boy_   
_Who should be marryin' the wrong girl_

_I sneak in and see your friends_   
_And her snotty little family, all dressed in pastel_   
_And she is yelling at a bridesmaid_   
_Somewhere back inside a room_   
_Wearing a gown shaped like a pastry_   
_This is surely not what you thought it would be_   
_I lose myself in a daydream_   
_Where I stand and say_

_"Don't say yes, run away now_   
_I'll meet you when you're out_   
_Of the church at the back door_   
_Don't wait or say a single vow_   
_You need to hear me out"_   
_And they said, "speak now"_

_Fond gestures are exchanged_

_And the organ starts to play_   
_A song that sounds like a death march_   
_And I am hiding in the curtains_   
_It seems I was uninvited by your lovely bride-to-be_   
_She floats down the aisle like a pageant queen_   
_But I know you wish it was me_   
_You wish it was me, don't you?_

_Don't say yes, run away now_   
_I'll meet you when you're out_   
_Of the church at the back door_   
_Don't wait or say a single vow_   
_You need to hear me out_   
_And they said, "speak now"_

_Don't say yes, run away now_   
_I'll meet you when you're out_   
_Of the church at the back door_   
_Don't wait or say a single vow_   
_Your time is running out_   
_And they said, "speak now"_

_I hear the preacher say_

_"Speak now or forever hold your peace"_   
_There's a silence, there's my last chance_   
_I stand up with shaking hands_   
_All eyes on me_   
_Horrified looks from everyone in the room_   
_But I'm only lookin' at you_

_I am not the kind of girl_   
_Who should be rudely bargin' in on a white veil occasion_   
_But you are not the kind of boy,_   
_Who should be marryin' the wrong girl_

_So don't say yes, run away now_   
_I'll meet you when you're out_   
_Of the church at the back door_   
_Don't wait or say a single vow_   
_You need to hear me out_   
_And they said, "speak now"_

_And you say, "let's run away now_   
_I'll meet you when I'm out of my tux at the back door_   
_Oh baby, I didn't say my vow_   
_So glad you were around when they said, "speak now"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I was trying not to say too much before this chapter to not give too much away. Now that I've posted it, I'd just like to say that all the plot lines are interconnected. What will happen ahead is usually hinted at in the chapters that precede it. So I guess it's helpful to keep that in mind as you read ahead.
> 
> Beta, thanks. Both for editing and the half an hour debate over that dustbin. Twas fun.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	16. 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Type felt tears starting to blur his vision. He wanted to leave, but he was scared he'd have another episode if left on his own. He knew that he wouldn't be able to deal with it without Tharn, even though Tharn was the very reason behind it in. He couldn't help but scoff at the irony of it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!
> 
> Graphic description of panic attacks and sexual abuse. Do not read this chapter if you are sensitive to these topics. 
> 
> I'll give a small summary in the end notes of what this chapter contains if you still want to know.

Tharn looked at Type starting to gulp in air as he contorted his face in pain. He could hear the short sharp intake of breaths and the way his eyes were open wide in fear told him what it needed to. Type was having a panic attack. He could tell from a single glance because he used to have them all the time as a child. He knew how it felt like when you tried to breathe but your lungs refused to fill with air and how much pain that caused your body as your vision tunneled. He knew that suffocating feeling very well. He dropped the condoms on the floor, leapt onto the bed and grasped Type's shoulders. He tried to recall how his mom helped him calm down so he could do it for Type. 

He looked Type in the eyes, who was still gasping, his eyes looking fraught with panic. He knew he had to take his mind off the need to breathe which was making him unable to breathe in the first place. He locked his gaze with Type's, trying to remember what his mother did to calm him down. 

"Type, I need you to listen to my voice. Can you hear me?" He said, trying to make him focus solely on his voice, just like his mom used to. Type stared at him, more panicked at seeing Tharn so close to him after what had just happened. Tharn could see that Type was losing focus so he gently shook his shoulders to bring him back. "Type, you need to focus on me. Tell me. Can you hear my voice?" He asked again. 

Type nodded in short movements of his head and Tharn felt relieved at getting somewhere. "Good. Now I want you to look at me and focus on my voice and nothing else. Okay?" Tharn said. Type could feel his vision starting to falter, making him try to breathe harder but, no matter how much he tried, he was getting no air. 

Tharn could see Type losing focus again so he gripped his face with his hands and brought his face closer to him. "Type. Don't think about it. Don't think about anything. Just listen to my voice, okay?" Tharn said. Type, his attention now on how close Tharn's face was to his, stared into his eyes and realised Tharn was trying to help him. He figured he needed to breathe more than focus on what had happened because he could feel his vision spotting so he nodded again. 

Tharn, relieved at having Type back again, started to soothe his cheek with one hand and his chest with the other. "Good. Now just focus on my voice and try to breathe with me. Okay?" Tharn said. Type, wanting to feel air in his lungs again, curtly nodded. "Now slow down. Try to take a slow breath in," Tharn said and Type tried to follow his instruction. He tried to slow down the sharp intakes of breaths that his lungs were involuntarily taking. He tried to concentrate on the movement of his chest but it felt like he still couldn't breathe. It was like he had forgotten how his chest was a part of the breathing process. He felt his nose grow cold as the panic gripped his already frozen over chest, the only thing moving inside was his heart hammering against his ribs.

Tharn could see that Type had slipped in further and realised it was worse than he thought. He grabbed Type's hand and placed it against his chest, palm first. Steadying his voice as best as he could,"Type, do you feel me? Follow me, just focus on my breathing and try to do exactly what I'm doing, alright?" Tharn said, soothing Type's cheek. Type stared into his eyes, wanting nothing more than a lung full of air, and nodded again. Tharn started to breathe slowly and Type could feel the slow rise and fall of his chest. He focused on breathing exactly in the same way and he felt a small puff of air make its way into his lungs. He realised it was working so he closed his eyes and focused on the hand that was on Tharn's chest. He brought his other hand up to his own chest to feel if he was breathing the same way. He slowly started to match their pace of breathing and with every breath, he felt his lungs starting to open up little by little as the air flow increased in increments. 

He could feel their chests starting to rise and fall at the same pace as his breathing got more even and his lungs were finally able to take in air more easily. He kept his mind focused on breathing. He kept his hand on Tharn's chest for what felt like ages and he slowly realised he was starting to breathe on his own. He dropped his hand from Tharn's chest as he felt his own still taking in air comfortably. 

Tharn felt a sense of relief when Type pulled his hand away from his chest and finally let the panic that he was feeling out. He could feel his own breaths getting shallower so he just looked at Type's hand on his chest and focused his breathing to match his.

Type slowly opened his eyes to see Tharn staring intently at his chest and felt the calm wash away from his mind. He could breathe, but he was still distraught. He needed to get out of there. He threw the cover off him and looked around the floor to see his boxers lying at the foot of the bed on the floor. He quickly put them on and started to put on his trousers. He then grabbed his shirt and quickly put it on, ignoring the searing pain his hurried movements were causing to his entire body. He was solely focused on getting out of there. He needed to escape. That's all he knew.

Tharn looked at Type, fearing what was happening, got up to grab his arm before he walked out the door. "Type! Where are you going?" He asked, panicked. Type felt like he was being burnt by his touch and tried to pry his hands away from Tharn's grasp. "Type! You can't leave right now. You just had a panic attack. What if it happens again? You need to stay with me," Tharn said, grabbing his arm with both his hands. Type felt his skin crawl at the touch, but he realised Tharn was right. He didn't know what he was going to do if it happened again so he stopped. "I won't leave. Let go off me," Type said, staring at the door. Tharn immediately released his arm and stared at Type's back, fearing what was coming. 

Type felt tears starting to blur his vision. He wanted to leave, but he was scared he'd have another episode if left on his own. He knew that he wouldn't be able to deal with it without Tharn, even though Tharn was the very reason behind it in. He couldn't help but scoff at the irony of it. 

"Type…." Tharn began to say but stopped as Type turned around to face him with tears in his eyes. He felt his heart drop at the sight. "Why are you crying?" He said as he moved to touch Type's face. Type immediately shrunk into himself, looking scared, and Tharn backed off, letting his hand drop to his side. He couldn't understand why Type was reacting in such a strong manner. He understood it was shocking but the way Type was taking it didn't seem normal, as normal as a reaction can be in the situation given. He didn't remember last night at all. He brought his hands up to his face as if to rub the frustration off it.

"Type, I was really drunk. I didn't know when it was happening. I have no memory of it either. Why are you acting like you're the only one this has happened to? Or like I did this on purpose?" Tharn asked, feeling a little frustrated. Type felt a small twist in his stomach because he was speaking the truth. He seemed equally taken aback when he realised they had slept together.

"I'm not blaming you. I just…." Type started to say as he broke into a sob. He turned around and covered his eyes with the back of his arm and let the tears fall. 

Tharn looked at Type breaking down and felt tears stinging his own eyes. He knew that something in their relationship had been permanently damaged because of their stupid, drunken mistake. He felt a sense of loss in the pit of his stomach for what was going to come as he looked at Type's back shaking with every sob that escaped his body. 

"Type, you need to tell me what you're thinking. I need to know why you're crying," Tharn said, his voice betraying the emotions he was feeling. Type stopped sobbing when he heard how broken Tharn sounded. He turned around to look at him to see that his eyes were glazed over with tears too. He knew that he had to tell him. There was no other way around it.

"I…. I…." Is all he could let out before the sobs started to wrack his body all over again. Tharn could feel the hurt in Type's sobs as he stood in place, scared to approach him, as his tears started to fall down his face. 

"Type, I'm going to lose my mind if you don't tell me," Tharn said, voice quivering. Type looked at him and when he saw the tears running down his face, he felt a knife twist in his already aching chest. He knew, in that moment, that he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. He took slow breaths to calm down and walked to the foot of the bed, the pain in his body still acting as a reminder of what had happened. 

"You know when we were kids I used to tell you about my friend that I had sleepovers with?" He started, staring out the balcony door. Tharn turned around to stare at Type's back, confused by the sudden change of topic. "Yeah. I remember I was very jealous of the fact that you got to have sleepovers all the time."

"You shouldn't have been," Type said as he turned around to look at Tharn. Tharn furrowed his brows in confusion, an emotion arising within him that he ignored with all his might and instead asked,"Why?"

Type turned back around to stare out the balcony door again as he took a deep breath. "He had an older brother. He always came and slept with us every time I went for a sleepover. I thought he was really cool because he was older. He would tell us all about girls. I was so excited to learn all about how it was to date girls because I had a big crush on Lan at the time," he said, his voice sounding far off and resigned. Tharn remembered that name. The emotion he'd felt earlier, growing stronger, rising from the base of his throat.

"Those discussions started moving to things that a child didn't know and shouldn't even be thinking about. He started telling us about how it felt to touch a girl's breasts. He told us what sex was and how much girls loved it. He told us about how sex happened. I was really excited to hear about it because no one else was telling me about those kinds of things. No one discussed such topics with us. I just thought he was the coolest person ever."

Tharn felt the feeling grow even further as the story progressed to where he had hoped it wouldn't go. The feeling now gripping his entire spine. He didn't know if he was strong enough to hear it.

"It started small. He taught me how to masturbate first. He showed me how to do it and asked me to follow along. I did and it felt like I had opened a whole new door. To young me, it was like discovering the most amazing thing ever. So, we started doing that together every time I went over." His voice sounded so empty, just like the look on his eyes. Type needed to disassociate his emotions from what he was saying, what he was remembering if he hoped to get the whole story out before it got too much and he broke down.

"One sleepover, he started telling us about how women please men. He told us that it was done by girls putting their mouth on the penis and sucking it like we sucked on lollies. I remember being very weirded out by that information. He told us that he would show us how it's done and he pushed me down on the bed, pulled down my pyjamas and put his mouth on my dick," Type said as he broke into a strangled sob as the memory resurfaced. Tharn was frozen. His extremities felt like he was being burnt with ice. His throat now completely gripped by the earlier emotion,  _ fear _ . Type…. Little Type, his best friend, his ball of sunshine… 'No. Please, no no no no,' was all he could think of.

"That turned into him coaxing me into doing the same thing to him. I obliged because he had done it for me so I saw nothing wrong with it. It was like that for a few more sleepovers before he pushed me to do more. He wanted to show me how to have sex. He had groomed his brother, my friend, into pushing me to do it too," Type's nails broke the skin of the palms of his hands from how hard he was balling his fists, his knuckles white and his voice slowly tightening like he was fighting for every word to leave his mouth.

"I was so scared. I protested and told him I didn't want to do it because he wasn't a girl. He got really angry and threw me on the bed and pushed himself inside me. It hurt so much. My body couldn't take the pain so I passed out. When I woke up, all I could feel was pain. It was so bad that I cried the whole day. My mom took me to the doctor to get me checked up because I wouldn't tell her what was wrong with me. The doctor examined me and found out almost immediately," he said, remembering the look of horror on his mother's face. He didn't know what was wrong because he was too young back then. Too young and too innocent. 

Tharn walked towards Type and with shaky, uncertain fingers reached for his shoulder to make him face him. Type saw the tears that were running down his face. "Type, I'm so sorry. I didn't know…. I didn't know…." He said between sobs that managed to find a way out of his strangled throat.

"That's why we left. That was the reason my family relocated. My parents didn't want anyone to find out. They were scared of the stigma so they just uprooted our entire family and moved us to a different place," Type said. 

Tharn felt the pins and needles on the soles of his feet and the palms of his hands intensify. The whole time that Type was going through something like that, he had been right next to him, and he never knew. Type always protected him when Type was the one who needed to be protected. Tharn leapt at Type and held him in his arms and cried his eyes out at the realisation. 

Type just stood in place, finally having told somebody about what he had kept buried for years, feeling somehow lighter. The knowledge that he was raped as a child was always in the back of his mind, but he never really talked about it because he was trying his best to move on from it. He tried to not stay in touch with anyone he knew from back then to bury the memory even further. The fact that Tharn had suddenly showed up in his life couldn't be helped. Tharn had nothing to do with what happened to him. He remembered how much safer he felt with Tharn the night he slept over with him. He had never felt safer than when Tharn had tucked him into bed and gotten into his own sleeping back, zipping it tight. He still remembered the dopey grin Tharn had flashed him from his place on the floor. That was the first night he had been able to sleep well in a long time.

That had, now, changed forever. That same boy, whom he had felt so safe with, had just inadvertently done something that brought all those painful memories back. But, since Tharn was such a big part of his life, he knew he owed him an explanation before he disappeared from his life again. 

That was the only reason why he let himself be held by Tharn as he cried on his shoulder, because he knew that was the last time he was ever going to see him. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary of chapter:
> 
> Type has a panic attack. Tharn helps him ride through it because he used to have panic attacks as a child. After Type recovers, Tharn asks him why he had such a violent reaction. Type finally opens up to him about his sexual abuse. Tharn is absolutely distraught. Type decides he's going to disappear from him life again. 
> 
> This was a difficult chapter to write. It took me days. It completely drained me. I hope the ones who read this chapter felt what I did when I wrote it. 
> 
> Thanks, beta. You completed this chapter beautifully. I felt my heart fall out my ass. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	17. 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tharn had been the one to help him deal with his trauma, so he was always going to associate him with what he had gone through as a child. He wanted to forgive, forget and move on. Tharn would have to be a part of all the things he was letting go of in order to really move on this time. That is why he knew their friendship was over.

The next month passed in agony for Type. He couldn't stop the onslaught of nightmares that had started plaguing him every time he shut his eyes. It reached a point where he would avoid sleeping altogether. He hardly got a few hours of rest in a day. It didn't help that Tharn would incessantly text and call him. He had started showing up at his dorm's parking lot just to get him to talk to him. Type had to resort to getting in through the back entrance to avoid his ambushes. He wanted to move on from what happened, but Tharn was making it very difficult for him to do that by showing up in front of him everyday. 

The first time that he saw Tharn waiting for him at his dorm parking lot after that day, he was terrified. His heart was hammering against his chest. He did not know what to say to him or how to meet his eyes, so he just avoided his gaze and walked straight into his building, acting like he didn't even see him. As soon as he entered his dorm, he had collapsed on the floor, crying again. He had no sleep that night. But Tharn kept it up and the shock and fear he had initially felt slowly turned into frustration and guilt when he realised Tharn waited for him outside for hours on end everyday, just so he could try to talk to him. No amount of ignoring him, being downright rude or pretending like he didn't exist seemed to deter Tharn from his mission to get him to talk to him.

Type did not want to, at all. He had told him what he had to on that day. He had already said his piece. He just wanted to move on with his life. He wanted Tharn to move on too, which is why he was avoiding him in the first place. He never took Tharn for a stubborn person, but his actions the past few weeks proved otherwise. He was unrelenting.

His visits thankfully stopped when the term exams rolled over. Everyone was busy with their noses in their books. Even Type. He drowned himself in his studies because it helped him stop thinking about anything else. He realised it was a good way to distract himself from thinking about less than savoury things. It helped him take his mind off things for short moments and it was enough to make him feel slightly better. He wasn't going to let go of something that was giving him some relief after weeks of his mind going through pure torture so he hit the books with a fervour that he had never shown towards education in his entire life. 

After the term exams were done, Type decided to immediately leave for home because Tharn sent him a bunch of texts as soon as the last paper was over. His heart deflated when he realised Tharn hadn't given up, like he had assumed after not hearing from him for two weeks. He was just giving him space during the exam period. Classic Tharn. The latest text from him informed him that Tharn was going to be waiting for him at his dorm again.

Type did not want to live with the guilt of seeing Tharn try so hard to fix what could never be fixed, so he needed to put as much distance as he could between them. He didn't blame Tharn for what happened. He knew Tharn was also equally as clueless about how they ended up sleeping together. That wasn't the reason he was avoiding him at all. After what happened between them, he just couldn't be around him anymore. 

Tharn had been an important part of his life, but he knew that they couldn't go back to the way things were. There was too much baggage between them now; mostly his own. And because of that, he also felt like he didn't want to drag Tharn down with him either. He just wanted to forget it and move on. Much like he did when his family moved to Chiang Mai after the incident. It helped him forget about what happened. He wanted that again. To forget. 

So he didn't even visit his dorm to pack his things when he stepped out of his last exam. He figured he already had what he needed at home. He directly headed to the bus station and got on the first bus to Chiang Mai.

°°°

  
  


Tharn was going through the hardest time in his life. He couldn't believe that Type had just abandoned their friendship like that. He needed to win him back, no matter what. He needed to apologise to him and make it all better. He knew that he couldn't completely fix everything, but he needed to do something or he felt he would completely lose his mind.

Since his calls and texts went unanswered, he decided to confront Type face to face. He would go to his dorm entrance everyday after class and wait for him. The first time he saw Type walking towards the dorm, he ran up to him and tried to talk to him, but Type just avoided him altogether, acting like he wasn't there. That was not enough to stop Tharn because he still went there everyday and, every time Type saw him, he would try to walk back in the direction he came from or just avoided talking to Tharn and pushed his way into the building. That did not deter Tharn. He needed to fix things between them for his own sanity.

Tharn finally gave up when the term exams came around because he realised that Type needed to prepare for it. He didn't want to disrupt his studies. He made sure that he would find him again on the last day of the exams. He was going to make him talk to him, no matter what. 

After the final paper, he sent him a bunch of texts that he knew he wasn't going to get a single reply to. He waited at the parking lot of Type's dorm from 1 PM to past closing time, but Type never showed up. He wondered if he went to stay over at a friend's because he would do that sometimes. At least that's what he gathered, because Type didn't come back to his dorm on some days. He would be waiting for him at the dorm entrance till closing, just like he was doing at the moment. He figured he wasn't going to show up some time after 12 AM, so he drove back home. 

He entered the apartment and walked straight into the guest room; the same room that Type stayed in for a month when Tharn had gone through his break up. It was the only place he got some sleep. He laid down on the bed and turned to his side. He buried his nose into the pillow and inhaled deeply. The smell of Type's shampoo on the pillow had faded away to almost nothing by that point. He sighed and turned to lay on his back and stared at the ceiling till he fell into a restless sleep, mentally and physically exhausted.

°°°

  
  


Type didn't enjoy his time at home. His idea of putting some distance between himself and Tharn to help him forget and move on from what happened proved to be completely fruitless because Tharn was the only thought that occupied most of his mind and dreams since he stepped into Chiang Mai. What was worse was the fact that he had started getting small, disjointed flashes of what had occured the night they slept together. His mind was being a real asshole to him and he did not appreciate it.

He remembered the gentle grasp of slender fingers on his waist as he was slowly but surely being lowered onto his member. He recalled how his body broke into goosebumps at the small words of encouragement and praise whispered into his ear. He remembered the feeling of his neck being peppered with kisses that made every nerve in his body ignite as the pain turned into pleasure. He got flashes of how good it had felt when he was being pushed into at a toe-curling, heavenly pace. He remembered the white hot pleasure pulsing in his veins long after he had reached his peak. 

He couldn't deal with the fact that all the memories that resurfaced from that night had been good. There was not a single memory that made him feel like he did back when he was violated. All he could remember was feeling safe and pleasured. It was driving him up the wall. 

He was sure that he wasn't gay so he couldn't understand why he would have enjoyed it so much. He had never been attracted to men before. He only dated women. He liked having sex with Nicolette. But the memory of the intense pleasure he felt that night was making him question things. He wondered if it was just because he was drunk. He wished it was just because he was drunk.

He recalled something Pina had told him about the night they had all gone clubbing. She had told him that he was the one who was clinging onto Tharn that night. He was the one who tried to take him home with him. He knew that Tharn wasn't the kind of guy who would take advantage of him. Or anyone else for the matter. That made him doubt how the events of the night had played through.

Despite that knowledge, he couldn't forget about the fact that he had suffered a lot after what happened. He hadn't slept properly for a whole month because of the nightmares that plagued him after that night. He knew that sleeping with Tharn had been the trigger. 

But, in a small corner of his mind, Type knew that Tharn shared no blame for what happened after. He knew that he had repressed the memories of what happened to him down to a point where it was bound to happen. He was bound to have an eventual breakdown no matter what, because he never processed what had happened to him as a kid. 

He just kept it inside and cut everyone off from his life. He never even joined social media because he knew that people from his past could find him there. He just wanted to remain invisible and live in his little bubble of blissful ignorance. He never made good friends after that incident, having moved to Chiang Mai. He would just hang out with a bunch of his classmates, always keeping them at arm's length. He never even had a close friend. At least not until he met Tharn again. 

He knew that sleeping with Tharn had actually helped him open up to someone about his abuse for the first time. He was finally processing what had happened to him as a child. He could finally see that what happened to him, was probably something that happened to the boy who did that to him, because he was only a few years older than him. There was no way he knew what he knew if something similar hadn't happened to him too. He forgave him for what he did to him, knowing that he was probably caught in the disgusting circle of sexual abuse of minors himself. It's one of those things that society doesn't usually address, even though it's a common occurrence. Much like how his parents had just uprooted their family from Bangkok when it happened. They didn't want to address it. 

Type now knew that it was wrong. His parents didn't know how to deal with it, so he had just decided to act like it never happened. He was too young to know what to do with it himself. He wasn't sent to therapy. His parents just expected him to act like it never happened, so that's what he did for over a decade. It had reached a point where he would forget it even happened for weeks at a time. He forgot about it for much longer stretches of time since Tharn had walked back into his life. But all that changed after that night. 

He finally knew he couldn't run away from what happened to him forever. It wasn't healthy at all. It had dug its roots into every part of his life without him even realising it. It had moulded his personality. He never learnt how to deal with things in a healthy way. His first instinct during conflicts was flight. Like how he had ran away from Tharn. He had also closed himself up to people around him. He unconsciously had let what happened to him rule his life.

Weeks of contemplation had helped him accept and deal with everything that had happened to him as a child. Though it came through a haze of tears on some days and on other days it was more like a quiet realisation. The whole ordeal had opened his eyes to a lot of things. The most important thing that it had taught him was that he enjoyed having sex with a man. No matter how much he tried to deny it, no matter how much he tried to blame the alcohol, he knew that, somewhere deep inside him, he was repressing more than just his childhood trauma. 

Tharn had actually helped him open up and face everything with that one night they accidentally slept together. He knew he should kneel down and thank Tharn for everything he'd done for him, but he could never go back to the way things were with him despite that knowledge, because their friendship had changed. They could no longer go back to the way things were between them. 

The knowledge that they slept together was always going to be there in the back of their minds. He wanted to move on from everything that had happened. Tharn had been the one to help him deal with his trauma, so he was always going to associate him with what he had gone through as a child. He wanted to forgive, forget and move on. Tharn would have to be a part of all the things he was letting go of in order to really move on this time. That is why he knew their friendship was over.

°°°

  
  


The new semester started off faster than Type had anticipated. He walked into class with a sense of dread at having to live through another semester. This time without Tharn. He had tried to get himself used to not having him in his life anymore, but every little thing reminded him of Tharn. Tharn had unwittingly helped him get over the biggest trauma he had gone through in life. There was no way he could ever forget about him. But he had to try.

He already missed him terribly and, even though they attended the same college, Type knew that he could never see him again. He had made up his mind about that over the break. He knew that Tharn would probably welcome him with open arms, given his nature, but he just couldn't do it. He had made up his mind and he was going to stick to it. Also, he had avoided Tharn for months. It wasn't fair to just walk back into his life like nothing happened.

He was lost in thought when Kemp walked up and sat next to him, putting his hand around his shoulder. "Welcome back. How was the semester break?" He asked. Type looked at him blankly and smiled. "Fine. Boring. Same old," he said.

"Wow. You really are the conversationalist, aren't you?" Kemp asked jokingly. Type felt a little bad for not getting into what he actually did during his break because that was a sure fire way of opening up about a lot of difficult things, and he wasn't close enough to Kemp to do that. The only person he could have talked to about it was Tharn. He couldn't help but smile at the irony of it. "I really just stayed at home, ate and slept the whole time I was there. Nothing much to say," Type said. It was the truth after all. Not the full truth, but still the truth.

"Okay, if you say so," Kemp said and opened his bag to take out his notebook. Type looked at him and realised Kemp was someone he could talk to easily. Maybe he could finally get closer to him, now that he didn't have Tharn in his life anymore. He decided it was time he started to make more friends. He had dealt with the difficult reality of coming to terms with everything he had repressed so he realised he was now open to letting people into his life. Who better to start with than someone who had been a constant part of his college life apart from Tharn?

"You want to hang out this weekend?" Type asked, turning to Kemp. Kemp immediately turned his head to stare at Type in disbelief. "You're asking to hang out with me outside college?" He asked, taken aback. "Yeah, what's so surprising about that?" Type asked.

"It's extremely surprising because we've been classmates for a year and a half and you never hangout with me outside of class. Every time I invited you to do something with me, you always had plans so I stopped asking. This is more than surprising. It's like watching the sun rising from the West," Kemp said smiling at him. Type felt a little guilty about always turning down his invitations. He had no choice back then. He was always hanging out with Tharn. Then he started dating Nicolette and he was always with her. He really didn't have the time to hangout with Kemp even if he tried.

"Yeah, so you don't want to?" Type asked. Kemp shook his head and chuckled. "No. Of course I'd love to. So what do you want to do?" He asked. 

"Bowling."

°°°

  
  


"I didn't know you were so good at this! No wonder you brought me here," Kemp said as Type turned around after hitting 7 pins. He scoffed at the ridiculousness of his words. If he thought  _ he  _ was good, he'd literally kiss Tharn's feet if he saw him playing. Or his fingers, since you bowled with your fingers, he guessed. Suddenly realising he was thinking about Tharn when he had made up his mind to stop, he shook his head, trying to physically shake him out of his mind. He regretted suggesting they go bowling. 

"I've just had a lot of practice," Type said nonchalantly, failing to stop thinking about Tharn once again because he was the reason for all that practice to begin with. Kemp chuckled and went to play his turn. He aimed and released the ball for it to end up in the gutter just before it reached the pins. He turned around in frustration as another one of his balls betrayed him. "What the hell! Why can't I aim? Even when I do my best, I only get about 4 pins. You need to teach me how to bowl better," Kemp said and Type started chuckling. He couldn't believe that someone was asking him to teach them how to bowl when he had lost every game he ever played. Except the one time, but Tharn had let him win so it didn't count. He winced at his mind betraying him once again and cursed himself mentally. He now  _ knew _ it was a bad idea to come bowling.

Type needed to distract himself so he taught Kemp how to aim and release the ball; he ended up hitting 6 pins on that try. His personal best. He started to jump up in excitement and Type smiled at him, remembering how Tharn would have a stupid smirk on his face every time he bowled a strike; which happened a lot. Type immediately slapped himself out of frustration for not being able to stop thinking about Tharn, making Kemp stare at him like he was momentarily possessed. Once he came to and saw the way Kemp was looking at him, he chuckled nervously as he proceeded to play his turn.

Type bowled another 8 pins on his last turn and won the game easily. It was the first time he had won, fair and square. He thought he would be happy about it, because he always lost to Tharn and it frustrated him to no end, but, in the moment, he couldn't help but feel sad at winning, missing the way Tharn turned to him and grinned like an asshole every time he won. He realised he had actually enjoyed seeing him win the whole time. Tharn would always buy him chicken after to cheer him up and it always worked. He felt his chest constrict at the memory. He was now painfully aware that he could never erase Tharn from his mind or his memories because he was a major part of them and a major part of his life.

Type had won at bowling, something he thought he always wanted, but, now that he had, he couldn't help but feel a little hollow. 

"Okay, you win. So what do we do now? Should we go get something to eat?" Kemp asked. Type turned to look at him and felt his stomach turn in sadness. That was what Tharn and him always did after bowling. He nodded and they went to change their shoes. 

"Where do you want to eat?" Kemp asked looking around at the restaurants lining the food court. Type just stared blankly at the KFC sign, recalling how it was a part of their weekend pilgrimage. "How about some fried chicken?" Kemp suggested when he saw Type staring at the sign. 

Type snapped his head to his direction, distraught at his suggestion. It felt like he had been slapped across the face as soon as he registered Kemp's words. He realised he was trying to supplant his memories of Tharn by replacing him with Kemp.

He couldn't do it. 

He couldn't replace Tharn like that. 

He shook his head violently to disagree. "Let's just get some burgers. I'm really tired so let's order quickly and leave," he said, heading to the first fast food joint he could see. Kemp followed him, confused as to how he could be so tired after one measly round of bowling.

°°°

  
  


Tharn was at his desktop, typing in a line of code, when he heard incessant knocking coming from his main door. He got up from his seat and shuffled to his door, highly irritated. He guessed it was his brother coming to check up on him again, maybe to see if Tharn had made good on the joke he had tearfully cracked the previous week of shaving his head because he couldn't handle the stress. 

Today had been a great day for Tharn, he'd managed to have a shower, but that was all the energy he had in him for the day, so this constant pounding on his door was not a welcome idea. He really didn't have it in him to open the door, let alone entertain a visitor. He wished he had just given him a spare key when he had asked for it. He just didn't want Thorn to barge in unannounced. He regretted it now that he had to walk all the way from his room to the main door. Those fifteen meters felt like five hundred. To top it off, Thorn wasn't stopping his incessant assault on his front door, making him want to throw a shoe at his brother. He knew his intentions were good, but that didn't mean he wasn't being annoying by trying to pound the door off its hinges. 

"Knock it off, Thorn. I didn't shave my head!" He said loudly as he walked to the door. He swung the door open forcefully just to illustrate his irritation and felt his body freeze over immediately. He stared at Type standing in front of him, wondering if he was hallucinating.

He couldn't believe Type was at his door. After all those times he spent waiting for him. After all those calls and texts that went unanswered. After all the effort he had put in to get his friend back. After he had finally given up and decided to move on with his life. There he was. The reason he hadn't been able to sleep, eat or function properly for months. There he was: standing right in front of him, and he was speechless. 

Type could see the shock on Tharn's face, seeing him standing at his door after such a long time. He figured he probably didn't want to see him after all that he had put him through. He felt like he made a mistake, trying to barge back into his life, seeing the disbelief on his face. He guessed he had probably moved on from Type by that point. It had been a long time after all. 

"Sorr…." Is all he could let out before he felt Tharn pull him into a crushing hug. Type felt guilt assault his body at how easily Tharn had forgiven him. He hated being right about his reaction. He needed to make it up to him somehow. He could feel his eyes starting to sting in his embrace. He realised he had underestimated just how much he missed him when he smelt his familiar scent starting to light up his olfactory senses. As he proceeded to bring his hands up to wrap around Tharn's back, a sob escaped his throat, feeling overwhelmed by the emotions that assaulted his entire body. He felt Tharn hold him just a little tighter at that and in a second all he felt was peace. 

He felt his bones melt as every negative emotion that he'd been carrying faded away and he burrowed further into Tharn's embrace.

It felt like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting this a day late. This chapter was a little challenging. I had to add a lot of stuff because I had just written a skeleton of the chapter. It is also the longest chapter yet so it took a while to edit. 
> 
> Thanks, beta. You procrastinate a lot, but do your job well. Thanks for making me sound like I have functioning braincells. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	18. Type

_ 12 years ago _

"He's so weird," Pop said looking at the quiet kid sitting on his seat all alone during recess. "Yeah, I heard his dad owns a big jeep. My sister saw them riding around town in it. She said it had no roof. Who owns such a car? It's so weird," Tai added on. Type turned to look at the boy, puzzled about what his friends had told him. 

"He doesn't even talk to anyone. I bet he's one of those proud people who think they're too good to talk to others," Pop said. "Yeah. He always comes first in class. Did you see how nice our teachers are to him? He must be a real teacher's pet which is why they give him the highest marks in all subjects," Tai said. 

Type couldn't help but agree with his friends. He had no reason to doubt them after all. 

°°°

  
  


"Okay, class. We are going to have a school play this year. Whoever is interested in joining, please write down your names on this paper to sign up for an audition," the teacher said and handed the paper to the class president. 

"That sounds lame," Tai said and Pop agreed with him. The play was Oliver Twist and Type really loved the story because his mom read it to him to bed very often. He decided he was going to write his name in. 

°°°

  
  


"The cast list is out. It's put up on the main notice board. Please have a look at it on your way out," the teacher said before she dismissed the class. 

Type excitedly ran to the main hall to see if he made it. He looked up at the names and saw he was on it, not the main role, but he still got a small role and he was happy about it. This would mean that he would get to stay in school after classes for practice and that sounded like a lot of fun to him because he loved being in school so much. 

°°°

  
  


At the first rehearsal, he found out that Tharn, the weird boy from class, had gotten the main role and was quite confused. He wondered how he would portray the main role when he couldn't even say two words to anyone around. 

He was soon proven wrong when he sat through the first rehearsal. He was actually really good. His diction and dialogue delivery was on point. He looked absolutely meant for the stage and Type couldn't believe his eyes. 

°°°

  
  


"You're so good at acting! Did you learn it from somewhere?" Type asked as he walked up to Tharn who was walking down from the stage during one of the rehearsals. Tharn stared at him and stayed silent. Type got irritated about the fact that his friends were right. He was too proud to talk to anyone so he walked away from him. 

°°°

  
  


He started noticing Tharn staring at him from his seat several times a day. Type was really confused about it because when he tried to actually talk to him, he had ignored him. But now, he was just staring at him all the time. He didn't know what to make of it so he decided to go ask him.

"Why don't you talk to anyone?" He asked standing with his arms akimbo in front of Tharn and he saw him shrink in his seat a little. Type realised he wasn't going to get an answer from the boy so he walked away from him to go back to his friends. 

"Why did you talk to him?" Tai asked. "No reason. We're in the play together. I just wanted to ask him about that," Type lied. He knew that he didn't want to be a backbiter, no matter how much they deserved it, so he instead bit his tongue. "Oh, okay," Pop said and they went back to their conversation. 

°°°

  
  


During the next rehearsal, Type was sitting down in the corner, eating his packed snacks, when Tharn came up and sat next to him. Type looked at him, a little surprised. Tharn opened his tiffin box and Type saw it contained swiss rolls and muffins. His mouth started watering at the sight. Tharn offered him his snacks and Type stared at him, not knowing if he should actually accept. He watched Tharn pick up a swiss roll and place it in his box. Tharn then picked up a chocolate muffin and began munching on it.

Type immediately grabbed the swiss roll and hurriedly dug in. It was delicious. He turned to look at Tharn and smiled at him. Tharn smiled back, to reveal the crumbs of the chocolate muffin stuck in his teeth, making it look like he had just eaten a mouthful of dirt, and Type burst out laughing.

°°°

  
  


"What is your favourite colour?" He asked Tharn. "My favourite colour is blue," he replied. "Really? Mine too," Type said, excitedly. "What's your favourite song?" Tharn asked him. Type thought about it for a minute. "I don't have a favourite song," Type replied. 

"How do you not have a favourite song? Don't you listen to music?" Tharn asked. "I do. I just don't have a favourite song. I like a lot of songs. Who is your favourite musician?" He asked and saw Tharn furrowing his brows in thought. 

"Ella Fitzgerald," Tharn said after a long pause. "Who's that?" Type asked, never having heard such a name before. "She is an old singer that my mom listens to. She has such a beautiful voice," Tharn replied. Type was intrigued by that information. He wanted to know more.

"Who is your favourite musician?" Tharn asked. "Backstreet Boys," Type replied immediately and Tharn giggled.

°°°

  
  


"Do you want to go to the shop to buy some snacks before rehearsal?" Type asked Tharn. Tharn nodded his head excitedly. "Okay, I'll come to you after class is over," Type said and he walked back to his seat.

"Are you friends with him?" Pop asked. Type looked at him and nodded. "Yeah. We hangout during rehearsals. He's really fun," Type said and his friends started staring at him a little weirdly. Type shook it off and went back to his book. 

°°°

  
  


"Type, we can't be friends with you anymore," Pop said. Type was taken aback by this news. "Why?" He asked. "Because you're friends with him now," Pop said, pointing at Tharn. Type felt like he had nothing to say to them because they were clearly judging him based on rumours and whispers. He had thought the same things about Tharn, but as he got to know him better, he realised that the rumours about him were completely baseless. He was actually a very nice guy who was just a little too shy to approach people. He looked at the pained expression on Tai's face and realised he didn't want to be part of this but he had no choice. 

He nodded and packed up his things. He walked up to Tharn and sat down next to him. "Why are you sitting here?" Tharn asked, looking confused. "Because my friends don't want to talk to me anymore," Type said. "What? Why?" Tharn asked, looking distraught. "They're just being stupid. It's fine. Do you mind if I sit with you from now on?" Type asked. Tharn shook his head and smiled at him. 

°°°

  
  


Type saw Lan sitting in the corner of the classroom, drawing something on her book. She looked so cute. He didn't know why he wanted to go up to her and talk to her. He knew that everyone would make fun of him for talking to a girl so he stayed put. 

  
  


"You're so ugly! Your hair makes you look like a pig with two piggy ears," Type said to Lan. He wanted to talk to her but he didn't want to be teased for trying to talk to her so that was the best solution he came up with. Lan stared at him with her round eyes and walked away with a huff. Type felt so excited to catch her attention.

  
  


"Your hair makes you look so ugly. Take it off. Don't you want to look like a girl, or do you want to look like a pig?" Type said, pulling at the scrunchies on her head. He pulled really hard because the scrunchies were tied very tightly all the way to her scalp. He was so excited to be able to touch her for the first time so he just yanked it out in his blind enthusiasm. He ended up pulling a few strands of her hair with it and stared at his hand in shock. Lan looked up at him as her eyes began to tear up and she started to cry. Type, in panic, threw the scrunchie at her and ran away.

°°°

  
  


Tharn grabbed onto his sleeve and hid behind him. "Leave us alone. We're not doing anything to bother you," Type said, standing face to face with a senior who was trying to bully them. "Is that how you talk to someone older than you? Did your parents not teach you how to respect your seniors?" He asked menacingly. 

Type wasn't scared of him because he was a lot taller than him. "I know people who are older than you. They don't try to bully me for no reason," Type said, not breaking eye contact. "Are you trying to threaten me?" He asked as he tried to shove Type. Type stood his ground. That seemed to scare the guy because he backed off a little. 

"What about your friend back there, does he not have anything to say to us?" He asked as he bent his body to look at Tharn who was cowering behind Type's frame. Type, sensing Tharn grabbing onto his sleeve even tighter, felt an instant need to protect his smaller friend from the bully. He moved to cover Tharn with his whole body as he sized the guy up again. "Leave us alone or I'm going to complain about you to the teachers," he said. "So you want to bring teachers into this? What are you, a snitch?" He asked with a smirk. "Yes. And you should know that my friend here is the class topper. If the teachers hear that you tried to bully him, you're the one who's going to be in a lot of trouble," Type said, staring down at the boy. Type saw worry flash in his eyes at his threat. Before he could say anything, the bell rang to signal the end of break time. "I'm letting it go today, but you should watch yourself. If I see you here again, I'm going to make sure you pay for disrespecting me," he said and walked away. 

Tharn slowly came out from behind Type. "Are you okay?" He asked, still holding onto his sleeve. "Yes, let's go back. We'll be late for the next class," Type said as he led them back to their classroom. Tharn held his sleeve the whole way. 

°°°

  
  


"So you have these sleepovers all the time?" Tharn asked wide eyed. "Yes. They live a few blocks down from our street. I end up sleeping over there almost every weekend," Type said. "That sounds like so much fun," Tharn said. 

"Do you want to sleepover at my place this weekend?" Type offered. Tharn looked at him with the biggest grin on his face and nodded. 

°°°

  
  


"Boys, why are you still up? It's 10 o'clock in the night. It's way past your bedtime. Off to bed, now!" Type's mom said as she came to the living room to see them sprawled out on the sofa, watching the reruns of Swat Kats. The boys got up and headed to Type's room.

"I learnt how to make a tent. My friend's brother taught me how. Do you want to make one?" Type asked and Tharn nodded enthusiastically. Type proceeded to tuck the end of a bedsheet under the mattress at the foot of the bed and grabbed some books from his bookshelf and lined the other end of the sheet with them to make a small triangle tent. 

"Wow! That looks so cool!" Tharn said as he slid under it. "You want to see something cool?" Type asked him and Tharn nodded. 

Type turned off the main light, keeping the small bedside lamp on. He slid back under the tent and turned on a flashlight. He held his hand in front of it to make a deer with one hand that reflected on the sheet. "That looks so real!" Tharn said. Type then curled his fingers to make a snake. He then handed the flashlight to Tharn and asked him to point it at the sheet. He brought both his hands in front of the light to make a duck and moved his fingers to flap the wings. "Wow! It looks like it's really flying," Tharn said excitedly. Type turned to look at Tharn. He was proud that Tharn was impressed by his amazing shadow puppetry skills. 

"I'm tired. Let's go to bed now," Type said after they had been sitting under the tent, talking about school, the play, and Tharn's siblings for hours. "Okay, let's go to bed," Tharn said as he slid out of the tent. 

Type got into bed and Tharn loosened the sheet they made the tent with and placed it on Type, tucking the ends around his neck. Type smiled up at him. Tharn walked to his sleeping bag and zipped himself up. He turned around and returned the smile that still hadn't left Type's face.

°°°

  
  


"Type, I have my birthday party on Saturday. Will you come?" Tharn asked him. Type turned to look at him and nodded.

°°°

  
  


Type bought him figurines of Swat Kats as a present because they both loved that show alot. He headed to the party with his parents. 

His parents dropped him off and they left after saying hello to Tharn's parents, telling him that they'd come to pick him up at 7. He ran in to hug Tharn and wished him a happy birthday. Tharn looked so excited. He dragged Type out to the pool in the backyard. Type saw the big slide that came down to the water and got excited at the prospect of sliding down. 

He got changed into his swimming trunks and walked up the ladder with a tube around his waist. Tharn followed behind him and they slid down one after the other. The adrenaline rush of going down the slide made Type so excited that he did it over and over again, Tharn right behind him every time. 

°°°

  
  
  


"Type, did you do the homework for science?" Tai asked Type. Type turned to look at him, surprised he was talking to him. "Yeah, but I don't know if it's right," Type replied. "It's okay, can I take a look at it?" He asked.

"Here, you can go through mine," Tharn said, offering his notebook to Tai. Type stared between Tai and Tharn, wondering what was happening. He watched Tai smile at him and accept his notebook. 

°°°

  
  


It didn't take long for Pop to warm up to Tharn after Tai had opened the conversation between them. They all got along really well. Type no longer had to worry about Tharn because Tai and Pop were always around. Even the senior who had been trying to bully them had backed off after seeing them hanging out with boys who were even bigger than Type. 

°°°

  
  


"My dad got me this Lego set when he came back from his business trip. It's really big and has a lot of pieces. We should have a sleepover at my place and build it together," Tharn said excitedly to Type as they stood around the exit after school, waiting to be picked up. Type smiled at him sadly, knowing that that was not going to happen. His father had told him that today was going to be his last day at the school. He didn't want to tell Tharn he was leaving because he didn't want to see him sad. "Yeah, next time," Type said. 

"Okay, I'll tell my mom to call your mom and ask her to let you sleep over at my place this weekend," Tharn said. Type just nodded and walked to his mom who was waiting in the car. 

He got inside the car and felt the sadness starting to take over his body. He needed to look at Tharn one more time so he could have something to remember him by. He put his head out of the car window and waved at Tharn. Tharn excitedly waved back at him with a huge grin on his face. Type could feel the sadness in his body turn to physical pain when he realised he would never see the sight of Tharn waving at him enthusiastically with a promise of meeting the next day like that ever again. After they rounded the corner and Tharn was out of sight, Type sat back down. As soon as his back touched the seat, he realised he had lost his best friend forever and started to cry.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had started this whole fic with this basic premise of the characters in mind so it's nice to reach this chapter. Since this is Type's perspective it's quite to the point.
> 
> Thanks again beta! You did so much work today.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	19. 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Good to know. So, do I need to take responsibility for you after what happened that night, then?" Tharn asked, turning to look at Type with a smirk of his own.

Tharn and Type sat on the couch, smiling ear to ear at each other. They were both in disbelief that they were back to being friends again. Type felt guilty and happy in equal measure. Tharn just felt happy to see Type finally take the initiative to come to him first after all the times that he had tried to chase after him.

"I'm really sorry, Tharn," Type began and Tharn shook his head to disagree immediately. "No, you don't have to apologise to me. I was the one in the wrong. I should be the one to apologise," Type stared at him, incredibly confused as to why he was apologising to him, when Type had made him suffer for so long by ignoring his efforts to fix things between them. Tharn really had nothing to apologise for. 

"How is it your fault? I was the one who ignored you. I was the one who stopped talking to you. All you were trying to do was fix our relationship and I just kept pushing you away," Type said. 

Tharn couldn't believe that Type was trying to apologise when he had nothing to apologise for. "No. Your reaction was nothing but natural. What happened brought back horrific memories for you. I was the reason behind that. I obviously had to be the one to apologise. You did nothing wrong. Not now. Not when you were a kid," Tharn said, looking into Type's eyes with utmost sincerity. Type felt his stomach twisting in knots when he realised that Tharn had been blaming himself for what he had gone through because he had stopped communicating with him and it made him feel like a bad friend. That idea was further confirmed when he thought about how much Tharn had done for him, while he had just disappeared from his life, with no real explanation. He needed Tharn to know that he was not the one to blame. At all.

"No, Tharn. You had nothing to do with what happened to me. You can't put the blame on yourself. We were both drunk. Neither of us remembered what happened that night. I was an equal part of that decision. I might even be the one to blame for it happening," Type said grabbing onto Tharn's hand. Tharn opened his eyes wide in surprise at that revelation. "What? How do you know that? Did you remember what happened that night?" Tharn asked, not being to hold back the shock from his voice. He had been trying for months to remember what happened that night. If he had even a snippet, a small memory of that night, he would have something to work with, but it was all blank. 

At that question, small memories from that night started flashing in front of Type's eyes, of him moaning in pleasure. He quickly shook his head to stop thinking about it. Mentioning that was not going to be helpful in the situation. Also, he'd rather die than tell him about what he remembered. They were memories that were to be locked up and launched into space for the sake of their friendship. He needed to distract him with other concrete facts.

"Pina told me what happened that night in the club after which I had a fight with Nicolette," Type said. Tharn furrowed his brows in curiosity because Pina never mentioned anything about that night to him. "What happened that night?" He asked inquisitively. That was another night which was a complete blank in his memory.

"Apparently, I was hanging on to you the whole night. I refused to let go of you even after we left the club. I even tried to pull you into the cab with me when Nicolette and I were heading home. So, that's why, that night might have been my mistake to begin with," Type said, still embarrassed about his drunk behaviour that he had no memory of. He wished he remembered that night instead of the night they slept together because it was, now, far less embarrassing considering what he knew, and remembered. 

Tharn was stumped by the information about that part of that night because he had completely blacked out by that point. The last thing he remembered was just swaying with Type on the dancefloor. "Are you sure that's what happened? It was Pina who told you that after all. Can we trust what she says?" Tharn asked, a little unsure. 

"Yeah, I didn't trust her words because of that. I realised that what she told me was true because of how Nicolette had reacted to it. She literally told me to distance myself from you because of what she saw," Type said and Tharn figured that it did make sense. But that revelation paled in comparison to what happened to them after, so he didn't pay it much mind. He just felt guilty about that night. 

"Yeah, but still. Even if you had started it, I should not have let it go further, so I'm at fault. You're the one who went through something unspeakable as a child and I was instrumental in making you relive that horror," Tharn said. He had been drowning in that sea of guilt for a long time, especially after Type had come out and told him about what happened to him. He felt like absolute scum for putting his friend through something like that, even if he had no prior knowledge of it. He had lost his mind in the last few months, constantly aware of that fact.

"Tharn, if you don't stop blaming yourself, I'm going to have to resort to beating some sense into you. You actually helped me finally face what happened to me as a kid. I had repressed that memory for so long without processing it. It wasn't healthy because it was affecting my day to day life without me even knowing about it. You helped me confront those things and I'm really thankful," Type said and brought his hand to Tharn's shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze. Tharn was frozen in place, not believing what he was hearing. "Really?" Tharn asked, wide eyed. Type smiled, seeing Tharn fighting to come to terms with what he just heard. That was good. He needed to give him more positive affirmations while he was still confused so he could stop blaming himself. 

"Yes. I finally allowed myself to think about what happened to me and how it affected my life. I never even thought about it after I moved away. I just locked that memory away in the dark recesses of my mind. I didn't want to think about it ever. I thought that, if I forget about it, it would be like it never happened. 

Little did I know that it was a big part of my life, affecting every aspect. I distanced myself from my friends. I didn't keep in touch with my old friends. I never even had a close friend because a close friend was the reason behind what happened to me. I just closed myself off to a lot of things. I didn't think about anything too deeply anymore. I just lived one day at a time. 

What happened that night, helped me finally confront all of those things. You helped me, Tharn. You helped me come to terms with my trauma. You have nothing to blame yourself for. What happened to me wasn't your fault. What happened that night wasn't your fault either. Do you understand me?" Type said. 

Tharn felt like his chest weighed a tonne at Type's words as tears starting to blur his vision. He didn't know that Type had gone through so much in his life and he had no idea about it. He just thought Type was a happy, regular guy. He didn't even know about the pain he was hiding behind his happy facade. He felt like a failure of a friend for not being there to protect him even though he was a child himself. 

"But, I still should have been there for you. I can't help but think that I should have been there. I was right next to you when you were going through something like that and I didn't do anything," Tharn said as a tear finally rolled down his face. 

Type wanted to scream at failing to stop Tharn from blaming himself. He knew it was going to be difficult because of how guilty Tharn's conscience could be, but he also understood where he was coming from. If he were to be in Tharn's shoes, he would have felt the same way. Type brought a hand up to his face and wiped the solitary tear away with his thumb. "Tharn, what could you have done? You didn't even know what was happening because I never even told you. You were a child too. And you were much smaller than me. You always ran to hide behind me every time you were scared. How do you think you could protect me?" Type asked, lost at how to get through to Tharn. 

"That's why I should have been there. You always protected me when we were kids. I should have protected you in the same way. I should have been there. None of this would have happened if I was just there," Tharn said, voice quivering. Type sighed and looked down at Tharn's hands on his lap.

"Tharn, you can't blame yourself for any part of what happened to me. 

You, instead, helped me deal with it. You are the first close friend I ever made after years of me never getting close to anyone. You are the one who helped me open myself up to having a relationship of that sort. 

I was stuck in place, frozen in time. I was the same boy I was who had gone through that trauma for years without realising it. I had just stopped growing or maturing because I hadn't dealt with it properly. I hadn't let myself process it so I hadn't grown up beyond that experience. You have been helping me start to do that since we met. I look at you being such an adult while you are the same age as me and that makes me want to do the same thing. You have been helping me deal with my dysfunctions before you or I even realised it."

Tharn stared at him, unable to form words. He was right. There were uncountable times when he looked at Type and he saw the spitting image of the younger version of him in how he behaved and talked. He felt so endearing to him every time he saw it. When he came to the screeching realisation that Type behaving that way was just a reflection of his inability to grow up due to his trauma stunting him emotionally in place, he felt even guiltier for enjoying it so much all this time. He even felt sad when he saw Type starting to grow up and felt like a horrible human being because that was Type slowly healing from what he had gone through in life. But before he could start to apologise, Type started speaking again.

"That night helped me finally face my demons. I realised that I had let that trauma rule my whole life, while I stayed blissfully unaware of it, because of how much I had repressed it. 

That night helped me finally understand everything that happened to me and I allowed myself to get over it. It helped me rationalise everything that I had been doing wrong because repression doesn't lead to healing. Confronting it is what finally helped me heal," Type said. Tharn nodded his head in understanding, feeling his chest about to collapse when he learnt of everything Type had dealt with alone. He felt like he shouldn't have given up. He should have continued to pester him till Type opened up to him so he wouldn't have been alone when he came to those realisations.

"Most importantly, you opened my eyes to everything I had been repressing. I was so scared to ever open up to the idea of liking men because of what one boy did to me," Type added. Tharn snapped his head up at that piece of information. 

"What?" Tharn in the loudest voice that had come out of his mouth that entire discussion. Type looked at his owl-like stare and chuckled. "Yeah, I don't think I'm as straight as I thought I was. I slept with you. Three times! On the same night! You don't just sleep with someone if you're not sexually attracted to their gender. Especially not three times. You know what they say; once is to see if you like it, twice is to see if you still like it, thrice means…." He said with a smirk and Tharn nodded his head with a chuckle, knowing where Type was going. His mind was now fully consumed by that shocking piece of information. He forgot how he had been drowning in an ocean of guilt just moments ago because all he felt was a sense of joy overtaking him. Type had figured so much out about himself. And with no help from him. He felt incredibly proud of Type in the moment.

"Good to know. So, do I need to take responsibility for you after what happened that night, then?" Tharn asked, turning to look at Type with a smirk of his own. Type started laughing at Tharn's joke. "No, I can take responsibility for myself. I'm a man too. Plus, I wouldn't want to ask you to change your sexuality for me. That's a bit much to ask of someone," Type said with a smile. Tharn grinned at him and chuckled. 

"I wouldn't be changing my sexuality." 

That wiped the smile off of Type's face as the gravity of his words finally sank in. "What?!"

Tharn started laughing at the way his voice squeaked. "Yeah, I like men too," Tharn confessed. Type just blinked in disbelief.

"But…. you dated Pina! For a whole year!" Type exclaimed. Tharn started chuckling at how Type seemed to be losing his mind. "Yeah, because I like  _ women _ too," he said. 

It finally clicked in Type's mind. "You're bisexual?" He asked, wide eyed. Tharn smiled at him and nodded in confirmation. "Obviously! You didn't have sex with yourself that night. Those condoms weren't filled with ghost jizz," Tharn said with a chuckle. "I was very much part of the act, hence the rule of three applies to me too, doesn't it?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Type nodded with his mouth slightly agape. "How come you never told me that you liked men too?" Type asked, confused beyond belief. "Because it never came up. We never really discussed those things. You only talked about girls so I couldn't just be like 'Let's talk about boys now' when I thought you were straight," Tharn said truthfully. Type nodded, guilt starting to flood through his body, realising he had been so blind to Tharn's sexuality, feeling like he didn't make him comfortable enough to let him freely talk about that part of himself. 

"I'm really sorry, Tharn. I can be a real asshole," Type said apologetically. Tharn just shook his head and smiled. "Nothing to apologise for. I could have told you if I wanted to but I just didn't," Tharn said and Type felt a little relieved at that. That's when he remembered something. 

"I thought it was weird how you made me watch a chick-flick and then later sang Taylor Swift by memory. You didn't even look at the lyrics once. It all makes sense now," Type said in jest. "Hey, don't stereotype me! Also, don't you dare insult Mean Girls! That's a classic," he said, feigning anger, which made Type double over laughing. "Yeah, it is. I've already watched it five times because it's the most fun movie ever," Type said. Tharn narrowed his eyes at Type, who was confused by Tharn's reaction. 

"And it took you this long to realise you were into men?" Tharn asked, cocking his head to one side playfully and Type burst out laughing again. "Hey! You asked me not to stereotype you a minute ago and now you're doing it to me?!" Tharn leaned forward to grab his side as he started to howl with laughter. 

"So, since we've established that I wouldn't be changing my sexuality, do you still want me to take responsibility?" Tharn asked. Type smiled at him and shook his head. 

"I'm fond of you, but I'm not  _ that  _ fond of you," Type said and Tharn started chuckling. 

"Yeah, it would be weird. What would us dating even look like?" Tharn said as he furrowed his brows to picture it. "We'd go bowling and eat at KFC till one of us dies," Type said which made Tharn start laughing. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

"You're more than a friend to me," Type said, making Tharn snap his head to look at him. "To me, you're like a long lost brother, like Pina once said," he added. Tharn looked at him through knitted brows, trying to process his words. "Out of everything she did wrong, that was the one thing she did right: she made me realise that you mean a lot to me," Type continued and Tharn slowly relaxed. He agreed with that sentiment to a certain degree. Type was more than a friend to him too. If that meant he was like a long lost brother to him, he guessed that he could make peace with that. Although, he didn't think of him like he thought of his own brother. He was sure of that. He figured Type is just a lot more special to him. A lot more special than anyone in his life would ever be. 

"Brothers who slept with each other," Tharn said with a chuckle to break the tension. Type turned to look at him, shocked at what that sounded like. As he looked at Tharn's face crinkled in mirth, the shock slowly wore off and he broke into laughter.

"Oh, what did you mean by you didn't shave your head?" Type suddenly asked. Tharn turned to him, embarrassed. He had forgotten that he had screamed that out loud thinking it was Thorn on the other side of the door. As he looked at the way Type had furrowed his brows, he decided to not tell him the whole truth so Type doesn't feel bad.

"That's exactly what I said. I didn't shave my head. See?" He said as he tilted his face down to show him the top of his head. He thanked every star in the sky, not by reason of vanity, for Type choosing to come today of all days, because today was the day he had gathered enough willpower to take a shower. He had finished an entire bottle of conditioner earlier to untangle the dreads that had started forming in some parts of his hair. He shuddered mentally at that thought.

Type, utterly confused with what was happening, stared at the top of his head. He saw Tharn bring his face back up and finally registered how gaunt he looked. His eyes were sunken in, his dark circles were standing out, because of how pale and sickly his complexion had gotten. He looked like he had lost a lot of weight too. His hair looked like it hadn't been cut since he last saw him. He was scared of being the reason behind him looking like that. However, he knew he was.

Tharn saw his face fall when their gaze met again and felt his stomach drop in panic. "It's nothing, Type. I was just kidding around with my brother last weekend when I mentioned I was going to shave my head. That's what I meant by it because I thought you were him. I thought he had come to check if I had actually done it," Tharn said.

Type knew he would never actually tell him the reason behind why he looked the way he did by the panicked tone of his voice. He just needed to fix Tharn back up again. His looks had fallen to a point where he looked like a regular attractive guy, not the Greek god he actually was at his prime. He smiled at Tharn and brought his hand up to touch his hair, pulling a few strands down to gauge the length of it between his fingers. "Let's not shave the whole thing off yet. How about we just cut it enough to make you look like a human being again?" Type suggested in jest. Tharn broke into a smile and nodded happily. 

As he looked fondly at him, he felt glad for having Type back in his life. It felt like he hadn't lived through the last few months. The sleepless nights, the tears, the pain, the guilt, everything seemed to just slip away and be replaced by warmth and joy that Type's smile brought to him. 

Type looked like he too had lost a lot of weight. His collarbone looked to be jutting out farther than it usually did. His cheeks, that were usually rounded and full, looked hollow. His eyes seemed sunken in. He could see the toll the last few months had taken on him in his physical appearance. But, as he stared at his eyes, he could see a light burning in them that was brighter than he'd ever seen before. It was all the proof he needed to know that Type was telling him the truth. He had healed his soul. Now all he had to do was heal his body. He guessed a few rounds of bowling and KFC would fix that right up. 

He grinned at the fact that they had come a long way. Type had been the reason for a lot of realisations for him too. Type had been his first crush as a kid. He figured it out long after Type had left, though, that the feelings he had for Type in school were more than that you feel for a friend. He knew he didn't feel the same way he did back then anymore. He was a kid then. He was older now, and he knew perfectly well that that had just been young, fleeting, puppy love. He figured he was just enamoured by Type, who came into his life like a storm, rearranging everything in it before he passed by. What he had with Type now was a bond that was way beyond any romantic partner, sibling, relative, and friend he ever had, or ever would. To him Type was…. Type.

Type had helped him realise his sexuality a lot earlier in life. He had always been thankful to him for that. Type telling him that  _ he _ was the reason Type realised he was repressing his own sexuality felt like they had just come full circle. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for uploading this chapter a day late. My beta was beat yesterday. :D
> 
> There is still a lot of story left so that's the reason for this chapter, if you were wondering. Like my beta mentioned, the summary for this fic should have just been 'Tharn and Type are dumb as dirt.'
> 
> Thanks again, beta. I'll consider your suggestion for changing the title of this work to Brothers Who Slept With Each Other. 
> 
> Thank you for reading chapter 18!


	20. Tharn

_ 12 Years Ago _

"You're fine, Tharn. I want you to breathe for mommy, okay? Can you breathe for mommy?" His mom said as she soothed his chest. Tharn felt like his lungs were on fire. His vision was getting blurry. It hurt so much. He started slowing down his gasps as he felt his mother smooth his chest calmingly. "Good boy. Now slow your breathing. Try to follow mommy, okay?" She said as she breathed in and out slowly. Tharn looked at her with big eyes and started following her motion. The air started to fill his lungs again and his vision cleared. He finally took a full breath and felt the panic fading. "What a good boy. Just keep breathing slowly, sweetheart," she said and Tharn jumped into her arms. He smelt the comforting scent of his mother's perfume and started crying. "There, there. Everything's fine, honey. My sweet boy."

°°°

  
  
  


He hated school a lot. He had to sit in a class full of students he was too afraid of approaching because of his crippling introvertedness. He heard some of his classmates sitting on the opposite end whispering about him. He could see them staring at him from his periphery and he shrank into his seat, burying his nose in his book. Books were always good to him. Books never made him feel like that, so he loved to spend hours reading, even during recess. His books were his only friends. 

°°°

  
  
  


One day, the teacher announced that they were going to hold a play and it was going to be Oliver Twist. After much contemplation, he finally put his name down for the audition because he loved that story and he decided it was time to try and step out of his shell a little bit. His mom had given him a copy that she owned from when she was a kid and he had read it over and over again till the pages were all dogeared. He wished he could be like Oliver Twist because Oliver was the kind of person he imagined he could be if not for his introverted nature.

The audition was quite daunting for him but he balled his fist and fought his first instinct to flee. Once he got into the rhythm of his character it wasn't so bad anymore. That was when he won his first ever battle with himself. The fact that he landed the part was just an added bonus. He soon realised that he loved being on stage because when he was on it, he could be anyone. He wasn't Tharn. He was Oliver. He was never a confident and outgoing person but as Oliver he could be. 

°°°

  
  
  


He walked off the stage after rehearsal when a boy, who was a part of the group in his class who would talk behind his back, approached him. He was really scared because he knew that that boy did not like him. He could feel his breath shortening and he knew that was a telltale sign of an oncoming episode. He didn't know how he was going to deal with it without his mom around. 

"You're so good at acting! Did you learn it from somewhere?" The boy said and Tharn was taken aback. He had assumed that he was going to say something nasty to him but he had just complimented him. He was very confused because he knew that he was one of his classmates who wasn't very fond of him by the snippets of the conversations he'd heard coming from the group he was a part of. He heard them saying things about him all the time and he was shocked at the fact that he just approached him to say something nice. He just stood in place and stared at him, not knowing what to say given how shocked he was. 

The boy turned around and started walking away angrily and Tharn snapped out of his stupor. He felt the burning need to call out to him, but he was too scared to. He just stared at him sitting in a corner eating out of a tiffin box through the rest of the rehearsal without approaching him.

°°°

  
  
  


The next few days, he kept staring at the boy, Type, from his seat in class and during rehearsals. Type was the first person to ever come up to him and try to talk to him so he felt really bad about the fact that he hadn't said anything back. He was very confused about what he was feeling, but he wanted nothing but to talk to him. He was too scared to approach him when he sat between his friends who looked really scary and big. He just resorted to sitting on his bench and staring at him. Until the day Type approached him again. 

"Why don't you talk to anyone?" Type asked and Tharn was so taken aback that he just stared at him silently. He had been dying to talk to him, but when Type approached him, all he could do was stare at him, not being able to form words. He saw Type turn and walk away angrily again and felt really bad for messing it up for the second time. 

°°°

  
  
  


Tharn had come up with the best idea the next day. He knew that Type liked to eat sweet things because of observing him the last few weeks so he asked his mom to pack him some desserts for snacks. 

He found Type sitting on the floor of the rehearsal room and walked up to him. He sat down next to him and opened his snack box. He saw Type staring at his snacks and smiled at finally coming up with something to break the ice. He extended the box towards him and Type just stared at him and back at the snacks. Tharn realised that he wasn't going to take what he was offering, so he picked up a swiss roll and placed it in Type's snack box. Tharn munched on his chocolate muffin as he watched Type inhale the swiss roll in record time. Type looked up at him and Tharn was so happy to finally interact with Type, he couldn't help but smile at him. Type's eyes lit up at that and he started to laugh. As he looked at Type's frame rocking with laughter, he felt like he finally made a friend. For the first time in his life. 

°°°

  
  
  


They had started talking to each other since that day and Tharn's joy was boundless. He hadn't had another episode in weeks and he knew that it was because of Type. Type had somewhat healed him.

"What's your favourite colour?" Type asked him as they were having a conversation during recess. Tharn thought about it for a second and remembered the violets that his mother planted in the garden. He loved those flowers so much. "My favourite colour is blue," he replied. "Really? Mine too," Type said and Tharn smiled at having something in common with Type. He wanted to know if they shared anything else in common. "What's your favourite song?" He asked to find out what kind of music Type liked to listen to. He saw Type thinking for a while as he waited expectantly for an answer. "I don't have a favourite song," Type finally said and Tharn felt a little deflated. He really wanted to know more about Type. 

"How do you not have a favourite song? Don't you listen to music?" He asked, curious if Type was one of the kids who didn't like listening to music. He couldn't help but think that that was ridiculous because he didn't know anyone who didn't listen to music. "I do. I just don't have a favourite song. I like a lot of songs. Who is your favourite musician?" Type asked and Tharn grinned, because Type seems to want to know more about him too. 

Tharn started to think about his question and thought about the song that his mom used to sing to him to sleep all the time. He loved the song and made his mom play it over and over on her old gramophone. "Ella Fitzgerald," he replied and he saw Type widen his eyes in confusion. "Who's that?" Type asked and Tharn felt happy that Type was curious about him. He never had anyone take that much interest in him before and he couldn't explain how happy he felt in the moment. 

"She is an old singer that my mom listens to. She has such a beautiful voice," he said and Type looked quite interested in that information. Tharn decided he wanted to know what kind of music Type listened to. "Who's your favourite musician?" He asked and Type's eyes lit up. "Backstreet Boys," Type said, without missing a beat, and Tharn couldn't help but to start giggling.

°°°

  
  
  


Tharn was the happiest he had ever been because he had a new friend who talked to him all the time. He decided that Type was going to be his best friend forever because they had so much fun talking to each other. 

Type broke his chain of thoughts when he came and sat down next to him with his bag. He stared at Type, not understanding what was happening. "Why are you sitting here?" He asked because Type had a lot of friends and he always sat with them since they had joined school. "Because my friends don't want to talk to me anymore," Type said and it made Tharn's heart drop. He couldn't understand why his friends wouldn't want to talk to him anymore. He knew that whatever it was could not have been Type's fault. "What? Why?" He asked, feeling a little panicked and hurt for Type. 

"They're just being stupid. It's fine. Do you mind if I sit with you from now on?" Type asked and the thought of getting to sit with him even during classes excited Tharn to no end. He nodded excitedly and smiled at his best friend. 

°°°

  
  
  


Tharn heard Type saying mean things to Lan and was very taken aback. He knew that Type wasn't the kind of person who would bully someone so he was really confused. He wondered if she did something to Type because that would be the only reason why Type would be so mean to her.

Tharn was sitting on his bench during recess when he saw Type saying something to Lan again. He was really surprised when he saw Type pulling at her pigtail harshly. Lan started to cry and he saw Type throw her hair scrunchie at her and run out of the class. He wondered if she had done something to Type for her to pull at her hair like that. He started getting a little scared of Type again. 

°°°

  
  
  
  


Type and Tharn were sitting by the playground and talking when a senior walked up to them and started saying mean things. Tharn immediately felt fear grip his entire body. Type got up and Tharn slowly stood behind his tall friend. He was so scared of the senior who looked so big and intimidating. He was smaller than Type but he was bigger than Tharn so he hid behind Type and grabbed his sleeve. "Leave us alone. We're not doing anything to bother you," Type said looking down at the senior and Tharn shrunk behind him more, feeling like Type was the only one who could protect him. The senior tried to intimidate Type but he stood his ground even when he tried to shove him. Tharn knew that Type could handle himself as soon as that happened.

Tharn heard the senior trying to talk to him as he bent to look at him hiding behind Type and he got more scared as he tightened his grip on Type's sleeve, wanting Type to protect him. Type moved to shield him from the senior again and brought his hands up behind him to hide Tharn. Tharn felt a sense of relief at having Type defending him from the mean senior. Type threatened the senior and Tharn couldn't help but feel safe, cowering behind him. 

The bell finally rang to signal the end of the break and the senior walked away after he threw a final warning at them and Tharn saw that Type didn't even flinch. He couldn't believe what he saw. "Are you okay?" He asked Type, to make sure the senior didn't scare him, still keeping his grip on Type's sleeve. "Yes, let's go back. We'll be late for the next class," Type said as he started walking. Tharn kept his grip on Type's sleeve, feeling a little silly for being scared of Type. He assumed that Type was bullying Lan last time but he had just protected him from a bully himself and he couldn't help but decide that Type was not like that senior. He grabbed his sleeve all the way to class, feeling safe and secure to have Type as his protector, saviour and best friend. 

°°°

  
  
  


Type was telling Tharn about the sleepovers he had with his friend and he couldn't help but feel jealous. "So you have these sleepovers all the time?" He asked. "Yes. They live a few blocks down from our street. I end up sleeping over there almost every weekend," Type replied and Tharn couldn't help the pang of jealousy that assaulted his body. "That sounds like so much fun," Tharn said, feeling a little dejected that he didn't stay close to Type so he could have sleepovers with him too. 

"You want to come to my place for a sleepover this weekend?" Type asked and Tharn felt his heart leap out of his chest at the excitement he felt at the offer. He would really have to convince his mother but he was ready to do anything to get a chance to sleepover at Type's. He was ready to fight the entire world for that so he nodded at him excited at the prospect.

°°°

  
  
  


His mom actually let him go for the sleepover without much protest and Tharn was surprised about it. He had never had a sleepover in his life. He had never even slept away from home, so his mother letting him go for one so easily surprised him. He was happy about it as she drove him to Type's place on the weekend, though. He was so excited for his first sleepover ever that he was practically vibrating on his seat. 

The sleepover was as fun as he guessed it would be as they watched episode after episode of Swat Kats after dinner. He felt like they had watched about 10 of them already but he never wanted to stop because he had Type to watch it with. He didn't even like Swat Kats that much because his favourite cartoon was Dexter's Laboratory but, seeing how much Type loved it, he decided it was his favourite show from that day onwards too. 

Type's mom came and made them go to his room to call it night and Tharn felt a little guilty for making her angry at Type by staying and watching the show for so late with him. 

"I learnt how to make a tent. My friend's brother taught me how. You want to make one?" Type asked and he nodded excitedly. Type expertly started building a tent at the end of the bed and Tharn helped carry the books from the bookshelf to anchor one end of it on the floor. He stood and stared at how professional the tent looked. "Wow! That looks so cool!" He said and then crawled into it to see that it was even better from the inside. "You want to see something cool?" Type asked, bending down to look at Tharn, who nodded excitedly. Type turned off the lights in the room and crawled in next to Tharn, who was so excited at being in such a small space with Type. Type turned on a flashlight, training the light on the wall of the tent and showed Tharn shadows of different animals. Tharn couldn't help but squeal in delight at every animal he made with his hands because they looked so real. Type handed him the light asking him to hold it in place. He proceeded to make a duck and flapped its wings to make it look like it was flying. Tharn couldn't help but exclaim how real it looked. It really looked like a bird flying in the sky. Tharn was so happy.

They stayed up till very late talking about everything under the sun. Tharn felt like he was getting closer and closer to Type because of the sleepover. He wanted to do it again. 

"I'm tired. Let's go to bed now," Type said and Tharn turned to look at him. He wasn't tired at all because there was so much more he wanted to tell Type, but he realised that they were going to have more sleepovers where they could talk about those things so he agreed. He saw Type get into bed and looked at the tent on the floor. He walked up to it and loosened the sheet. He walked over to Type and covered him with it, tucking the ends beneath his chin. He saw Type smiling up at him and Tharn could feel the joy dripping from his chin at the sight of it. 

He then got into his sleeping bag and zipped himself in, content with the best sleepover he had ever had in his life. The fact that it was the first and only sleepover he had been on was beside the point. He looked up at Type, who was still smiling at him, and smiled.

°°°

  
  
  


Tharn was very nervous. His mom had asked him to invite Type for his birthday party and he didn't know if Type would want to come. Type had a lot of friends so he didn't think he'd be interested in coming to his party. His birthday parties were always really boring. He only had his family there every year. They just cut his cake, ate food and gave him presents. It was nothing exciting. 

"Type, I have my birthday party on Saturday. Will you come?" He asked nervously, turning towards Type. Type started to nod his head excitedly and Tharn felt his chest explode with joy. 

°°°

  
  
  
  


Tharn saw Type excitedly bounding towards him and proceeded to engulf him in a tight hug as he wished him a happy birthday. Tharn was ecstatic because it was the first time Type had ever hugged him. He hugged him back just as tightly. Type gave him his present and Tharn excitedly accepted it. 

He pulled Type out to the backyard to show him the big slide his parents had gotten for his birthday and he saw Type's eyes widen in excitement. Tharn was delighted. They quickly changed into their swimming trunks and Tharn followed Type up the stairs with a tube around each of their waists as they slid down into the water. The slide was bigger than any one Tharn had ever been on so the butterflies that it brought to his stomach felt so amazing. Especially when he saw Type waiting expectantly for him in the water, waving up at him excitedly. 

This was the first time he was having fun at one of his birthday parties and it was all because of Type. He knew that Type was the best friend he was ever going to have. 

°°°

  
  
  


They were sitting on their bench in class when Type's friend came up to talk to him. Tharn felt his stomach drop a little at the prospect of Type leaving him to hang out with his cooler friends again. He was going to be alone if Type left him. He didn't want to be lonely again because he knew what it felt like to have a friend now. 

His friend was asking to look at Type's science homework and Type wasn't sure if he had done it right so he was a little hesitant to give it to him. Tharn figured that he could help him out because he didn't want to be selfish when he saw how happy Type looked to talk to his friend again after such a long time. Tharn reached into his bag and pulled out his science notebook.

"Here, you can go through mine," he said and Type's friend, Tai, looked at him and slowly smiled, accepting the notebook.

°°°

  
  
  
  


Tai would come up and talk to Tharn and Type several times in a day. Tharn really liked him. He thought he was really funny. Tai also started including Pop in their conversations and Pop slowly warmed up to Tharn too, and the rest was history. 

°°°

  
  
  
  
  


Tharn excitedly bounded towards Type after class was over and they were waiting for their parents to come pick them up at the school gate.

"My dad got me this Lego set when he came back from his business trip. It's really big and has a lot of pieces. We should have a sleepover at my place and build it together," he said and Type smiled at him. Tharn immediately caught that his smile looked really different. It wasn't the usual way he would smile at Tharn. "Yeah, next time" Type said and Tharn felt silly for thinking too much, so he shook off his previous reservations. 

"Okay, I'll tell my mom to call your mom and ask her to let you sleep over at my place this weekend," Tharn said, excited at the prospect of another sleepover with Type, this time, at his house. Type nodded and Tharn could see that something was off. Type was smiling but his eyes looked like they were sad. He was really confused.

Type got into his car and Tharn stared at him with his face drawn in confusion. The car started to pull away and he saw Type leaning out of the window, waving at him with a big smile on his face and Tharn immediately felt better. He smiled back and waved at his friend, excited for the weekend and also for the next day when he'd see him again. 

°°°

  
  
  


Type didn't come to school the next day and Tharn was really worried. Type never missed a single day of school. Tai and Pop also didn't know his whereabouts which made Tharn even more worried. 

As soon as he reached home, he asked his mother to call Type's mom and ask him why he wasn't at school today. His mother agreed and went to call his mom. 

She walked into his room in a while and he looked up at her expectantly. He wondered if Type was sick, which is why his mom looked a little upset. 

"Tharn, honey. I just talked to Type's mom," she said as she sat down beside him on the bed. Tharn looked up at her, waiting for the next part. She put a hand up to his head and caressed his hair. "Type will not be coming to school anymore," she said and Tharn felt his heart drop. "What? Why? Is he fine? Is he sick?" Tharn asked, worried for his friend. His mother continued to caress his hair. "No, sweetheart. They had to relocate because Type's father got transferred to Chiang Mai. They are leaving right now," she said and Tharn felt his world shatter. He was never going to see Type again. His best friend, his protector, the most special person in his life. He felt a sense of deep loss settling in his heart as he leapt forward to grab onto his mom's waist for comfort and started to cry.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tharn's chapter is obviously a cool thousand words over Type's. 
> 
> Thanks beta! I solemnly swear to learn more words so I can someday sound like I know English.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	21. 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Let's go out," Type suggested and Tharn turned to look at him from the kitchen. "Okay. Where do you want to go?" Tharn asked, capping the bottle of soda and placing it back in the fridge. "I don't know, somewhere we can meet men," Type said.

In the next few weeks, Tharn and Type got back into the swing of their previous relationship after the big revelation. Or, rather, revelations. They were both doubtful of how their friendship might change after everything that happened, but the past few weeks proved to them that their bond was a lot stronger than the things they've gone through. They realised there was nothing that could break them apart again.

"So, have you dated guys before?" Type asked, swerving his character away from Tharn's to avoid his attack. "Yeah," Tharn said, swiping Type's character's legs to make him fall down. "Really? When?" Type said, trying to move his character away from the barrage of punches that Tharn had unleashed on him. "In high school," he said as he ducked his character to avoid Type's high kick. "But you said you were dating a girl who moved out of the country for college," Type said, swiping his character's legs. "Before her. I only dated her for a few months," he said as he jumped up to avoid all of Type's attempt at trying to make his character fall down. 

"Oh. Was it a classmate?" Type asked, punching Tharn's character after his failed attempt to make him fall down. "No. He was a barista at this café I happened to go to once," Tharn said, blocking the punches with his arms. "So a college student?" Type asked, trying to shield himself from the kicks that Tharn had unleashed on his character. "No. He had already graduated from college," Tharn said as he unleashed an ultimate move when Type had his guard down, winning the round easily. He turned to look at him and started chuckling at the sight of Type staring at him, wide eyed, with his mouth hanging open. "The fuck?" Type said, shocked at that information. 

Tharn cracked a small smile and shrugged. "You are  _ really _ into older people, aren't you?" Type asked which made Tharn scoff and start chuckling again. "My track record does make it look like that's kind of true," Tharn said.

"But isn't that, like, illegal? You were a minor and he was so much older. Shouldn't he be in jail or something?" Type asked, genuinely bewildered. Tharn stared at him, a little shocked and started to laugh nervously. "Yeah, the pool of men who want to date men is a lot smaller. You date whom you can find," Tharn said, letting his newly initiated friend in on the secret world of dating men. "Really?" Type asked, taken aback. 

"Yeah. Real life is not like the BLs on TV. Not every second person you meet is going to be into dating men," Tharn said with a chuckle. "What's a BL?" Type asked, confused. Tharn stared at him for a second to see if he was joking, but when his face didn't change at all, he shook his head in disbelief. He couldn't believe he had to teach this boy everything from scratch. He was a little relieved at being around to guide him through it because he had to do all of that on his own and it had been quite the unpleasant ride. 

"It's like a romantic drama but the main characters are gay. How do you not know what BLs are? Thailand literally makes most of them," Tharn said. "Because I don't watch TV. Also, I have never seen any LGBT movie or drama before," Type said, looking at him with big innocent eyes. Tharn smiled at how adorable Type was as he decided to open his eyes to the world of gay entertainment. 

°°°

  
  


Over the next few weekends, Tharn showed him all the movies on the LGBTQ+ in his collection. 

"Why are all of these movies so sad?" Type asked as they finished watching Weekend. Tharn turned to look at Type and smiled. "Because of how many people from our community go through these situations in real life. The people writing them mostly write from experience. Everything is not sunshine and butterflies," Tharn said, realising it was a good idea to ease Type into what could happen in the future. It was really hard to be in a same sex relationship. He knew that first hand.

"Okay, but these are movies. They can change the ending to make it happy. I am just getting depressed about it before I even begin to delve into exploring that part of my sexuality," Type said truthfully. Tharn felt a little bad about it and decided to show him something that wasn't as sad. 

"True. Let's watch this one next. This is not very sad. It's just a little sad. It'll cheer you up," Tharn said as he picked up the dvd from under his TV stand. "What's it called?" Type asked, trying to read the cover from afar. "North Sea Texas," Tharn said, popping it into the DVD player. "Is it American?" He asked curiously. "No, it's Flemish," Tharn said, knowing that the name threw Type off. "Then why is it called North Sea Texas?" Type asked, a little confused. "You'll see," Tharn said as he settled back down on the couch. 

  
  


"Wow! That was a ride! Kind of questionable, but so good! If you have these kinds of movies, why are you showing me only the ones with the crappy endings?" Type asked, annoyed. Tharn cracked a smile and cocked his head to one side. "It's not my fault. Most of these movies have sad endings. I told you, people from our community face a lot of hardships. It just gets reflected in the films they make because it comes from a place of truth," Tharn said. "Well, it just sucks," Type said as he leaned back on the couch with his arms crossed in front of him. Tharn smiled sadly thinking about how difficult it was going to be for Type if he found the depiction of gay relationships in movies sad, because real life was a little worse. He had lived it. 

°°°

  
  


"Let's go out," Type suggested and Tharn turned to look at him from the kitchen. "Okay. Where do you want to go?" Tharn asked, capping the bottle of soda and placing it back in the fridge. "I don't know, somewhere we can meet men," Type said.

That piqued Tharn's interest,"You're ready for that?" Tharn asked, still a little skeptical about Type's readiness. "Yeah, I've watched all those movies. I think I can tell how it's going to end so I am prepared from the get go," Type said as he broke into a chuckle. Tharn smiled and nodded his head as he walked into the living room. He had been wanting to go out for a while too. The prospect of meeting someone new while also helping Type explore his new found sexuality seemed like an exciting thing to do.

°°°

  
  


"Is this a gay bar?" Type asked as he looked around the place to see a sea of men. "Yeah, kind of," Tharn replied. He was introduced to the place by his highschool boyfriend who had snuck him in. It was an unofficial gay bar.

"Okay, good enough for me. Let's get some drinks," Type said as headed to the bar. Tharn followed him and they both leaned on the wooden top of the bar as they waited for their drinks. Type looked around to see a few men staring back at him with a smile on their face. He felt a little nervous at the prospect of talking to one of them. He had assumed he was ready, but being there and the reality of that fact sinking in made him realise that maybe he wasn't as prepared as he thought he was. 

The bartender placed their drinks in front of them to pull Type out of his head and Tharn clinked their glasses together which made him look up at his smiling face. "To a successful night," Tharn said, which made Type start grinning. They both turned and looked around the bar.

Tharn knew that he had to be the guide for Type and he leaned into his ear. "Anyone catch your fancy?"

Type turned to look at Tharn to see him smirking at him. The nervousness in his belly dissipated at the sight as he started to grin. "No, not yet. But there are a few people staring at me. Does that mean they want to talk to me? Should I approach them? Should I wait for them to approach me? I don't know what to do because, with girls, I'd be the one to approach them but since we're both men, who is supposed to approach whom?" Type asked in a single beat which made Tharn start laughing at how eager Type was. "That's up to you. If you want them to approach you, smile back at them. If you want to approach them, you go ahead and approach them. Do what feels natural to you," Tharn said as Type listened diligently, nodding his head. 

He turned back around and as soon as his eyes met a guy across the room, he felt his confidence plummet and immediately turned around to face the bar. Tharn, seeing his entire performance, couldn't help but chuckle. "It's okay, Type. You don't have to force yourself to do anything till you're comfortable. We can just drink for today, okay?" Tharn said. Type felt relieved at his words and nodded. 

He looked at the menu and started to look at what to order when his eyes fell on the name of the shots. "What are these names? Jackhammer? Nipple Twister? Aye-Jack-you-late? Ass Up? Why is it all so sexual? And gay?" Type asked, chuckling. "Type, have you forgotten where you are?" Tharn said with a smile and Type turned to look at him, realisation finally dawning on him, and started to chuckle at his stupidity. 

"Let's have one of each," Type suggested excitedly. Tharn immediately felt a little concerned because Type wasn't really good at holding his alcohol. "Are you sure?" He asked, concerned. 

"Of course. How could I not when you get to ask for these out loud. Let's start with Aye-Jack-you-late. That will sound the gayest," Type said happily and Tharn broke into a chuckle. He just looked so excited that Tharn decided to throw caution to the wind and ordered them the shots. 

They went down the shot list and Tharn cut them off at four shots because he could see Type starting to sway on the bar a little. "Are you good?" He asked, a little worried for his friend. "I'm fine. My tolerance is getting better. My vision is absolutely clear. I would have been seeing two of you after this much alcohol before. But you're still one," Type said waving his hand in front of Tharn, looking at him with one lid half closed. Tharn couldn't help but smile at his state. He could see that Type was a little drunk but not enough for him to be worried about it. "Okay, I'll just head to the washroom. Do you want to come with me or are you going to be okay waiting for me?" Tharn asked. Type rested his head on his arm on the bar as he turned to look at Tharn. "I'm fine here. You go ahead," he said, not wanting to betray how drunk he actually felt at the moment. 

Tharn nodded and headed to the back of the bar. Type tried to keep his gaze trained on the neon sign behind the bar to keep his mind from swaying from the effect of the alcohol that was gradually increasing. He knew he had to keep his head straight till Tharn came back. He decided to sneakily order a few more shots behind Tharn's back. "Hey!" He said to catch the bartender's attention who was serving other customers. Annoyed that he paid him no attention, Type got up from his seat to try to lean into the bar but he had forgotten to take into account how drunk he was so he swayed back and bumped his back on something. He turned around to see that something was a boy who had been looking at him since he'd set foot in the bar. "You good?" He asked and Type felt his chest leap. The boy was very handsome. He had a chiseled jaw and sharp eyes. He was wearing a white shirt with enough buttons undone for his pecs to peek through. Type looked up at him and smiled, feeling a little braver because of the alcohol in his system. "I'm fine. How do you do?" He said, slurring his speech a little. 

The guy chuckled at his reply, realising Type was drunk. "I'm doing very fine now that I got you to talk to me," he said, flashing him a charming smile. Type felt his chest leap in excitement at a guy flirting with him for the first time in his life. "The friend with you, is he your boyfriend?" He asked leaning into Type. Type felt his throat hitch at the closeness and he clamped his mouth shut and shook his head. The guy, pleased at the reply, leaned in further. "That's good to hear. So what are you drinking?" He asked. Type leaned back a little and smiled at him. "Aye-Jack-you-late," he said shyly. The guy jerked back a little, surprised at the reply, and started to laugh. "Okay, let's get a few of those. Maybe we can get the real deal later," he said smirking flirtily at him. Type felt his face heat up at the possibility and averted his eyes. The guy chuckled at how adorable Type's reaction was and leaned into the bar to order them four shots. 

Tharn walked up to the bar to see Type talking to a guy. He couldn't see the guy's face but he got immediately worried for his friend. He knew that Type wasn't ready enough to do that and mentally chided himself for leaving him alone. He walked closer to see Type laughing and he stopped in his tracks. He felt his heart beating really fast. He figured it was because he was looking at Type finally opening up to his true self so he turned his lips up into a smile. He walked to the bar and stood behind the guy Type was talking to and leaned in to look at Type. He raised his eyebrows at Type and gestured to the guy he was talking to, asking him what was happening wordlessly with his eyes. Type looked down and smiled shyly and Tharn had his answer. He smiled back at him and turned to the bartender to order his drink.

°°°

  
  


A few guys approached Tharn but he wasn't really looking for anything because he had to keep an eye on Type. He had to make sure Type was alright. He downed his fourth Old Fashioned, sitting at the bar, turning to check on Type every few minutes. He looked like he was having fun. Tharn was happy for his friend. He slowly got incredibly drunk because he kept ordering drink after drink, not knowing what else to do because, if he turned towards the crowd, people were bound to approach him. 

Tharn felt someone nudge him from the back and turned around. He saw a boy smiling at him. He was saying something to Tharn but he was too drunk to register his words. He felt the guy tugging his hand and pulling him to where people were dancing. Tharn looked in that direction to see Type dancing with the guy he had been talking to and wondered at what point he lost track of him because they were sitting right beside him the whole time. He figured it would be best for him to stay close to Type so he doesn't lose him again so he let himself be dragged to the dancefloor and proceeded to dance with the boy, not really feeling much because he was hammered. 

A server walked up to them with a tray of free shots and the guy he was dancing with handed him one. Tharn turned to look at Type to see the guy he was dancing with had his arms wrapped around his waist and Type seemed to be enjoying himself as he plastered his torso against the guy's and moved to the music. He grabbed the shot and downed it. He figured he was already drunk, so one more shot wasn't going to hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter a little earlier today because my beta finished proof reading it without me even having to remind them. Shock and awe! (Kidding. Thanks beta. Please keep up the great work. Please.)
> 
> So now that we're over the first hump, I wonder what's about to happen next....
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	22. 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Fuck you!'
> 
> 'Again?
> 
> Why are you so obsessed with me?'

Tharn could feel how heavy his head was when he finally drifted into consciousness. He cursed himself for drinking with abandon. This hangover was going to be a bitch. He brought his hand up to his face and rubbed his eyes. His head felt like it weighed a tonne and his stomach was churning. 

He slowly opened his eyes, immediately feeling the piercing pain in his head when the light hit his irises. He squinted his eyes into the light and came face to face with the familiar ceiling of his room. He wondered how he got home. He mentally slapped himself for blacking out once again. He felt like he might have a real problem because this was not the first time something like this had happened. He suddenly remembered Type. Panic started rising in his chest when he realised the last thing he recalled was Type dancing with the guy he was talking to. After that, everything was a blank in his mind. 

He turned his head sideways and his heart leapt to his throat. Someone was lying next to him, the back of their head sticking out of the covers. He felt his hands and feet go cold, the panic in his chest intensifying. 

He remembered small flashes of dancing with some guy the night before and he knew he fucked up. Big time. This was the first time he stepped into that bar in years and he came back with the first guy he met. He felt the urge to slap himself really hard for not only abandoning Type, but also for bringing someone home without even remembering who they were. He didn't even get his name. He had no idea what he even looked like. His memory of him was extremely blurry. The only memory that started flashing in his mind was of hands scratching and squeezing his naked back the night before. He shook his head to discard that memory. He didn't want to remember any more than that for his own sanity. 

He carefully slid out of bed and looked down to see two used condoms on the floor next to his boxers. He put his head in his hands not just because of the headache the hangover was causing him, but also coming to terms with the frustration of what he had just done. Twice, by the looks of it. 

He picked up his boxers and quickly put them on. He struggled to push himself out of bed and turned to look at the sleeping boy in his bed. Fear started to take hold of his mind when the prospect of having the awkward talk with the guy he didn't remember dawned on him, making him cringe internally. He didn't even know what he looked like. He decided to at least get a peek at his face, thinking it might trigger his memory. He tiptoed to the side of the bed the boy was facing. 

As soon as his face came into view, the colour drained from his face. Sleeping peacefully with his mouth slightly hanging open was the person Tharn was the most worried for. Type. 

He had slept with Type. 

Again!

His brain started to do mental gymnastics to recall any part of the night which could have led them to this point and came up absolutely empty. Type was not supposed to be in his bed. Type was talking to some other guy all night. The last thing he remembered was Type dancing with that same guy, while he was dancing with the faceless, nameless guy, who was definitely not Type. He couldn't figure out how that chain of events had led to Type, sleeping on  _ his _ bed currently.

He felt anxiety start to take form in the pit of his stomach because, the last time this happened, Type left him. He couldn't help but think that if he were to find out that they had slept with each other again, he might leave him again. He knew it was irrational because the last time Type did that was because of his trauma being triggered. Type had dealt with all of that and come out the other side, but he couldn't help but feel abject fear at even the smallest chance that Type might abandon him again because of them sleeping together, again. Tharn had a fleeting thought of hiding it from Type since he was still asleep. He wondered if maybe he could cover his tracks and conceal what happened the night before from Type. It made no rational sense since they had clearly done it twice and Type was definitely going to feel it whether he tells him or not, but his mind wasn't really in a rational place right then. He was losing his mind at the possibility of losing Type again. He didn't know if he could survive it this time around.

But the thought of actually going through with it and being dishonest with Type felt like someone threw ice cold water on him, sobering his thoughts up instantly. His chest tightened with guilt. He knew he couldn't lie to him. He figured he had to tell him the truth and deal with whatever the consequences that would lead to. He felt responsible for his actions. This time, he knew that he deserved whatever came to him. 

He walked up to Type and slowly nudged his arm. Type stirred a little and started to move his closed eyelids. "Type?" Tharn said softly. 

Type slowly opened his eyes for them to be assaulted by the light in the room so he shut them tightly again. He rubbed his face on the pillow a few times and turned back to try to pry his eyes open. He finally managed to open one eye slightly to see a shirtless man leaning down. He saw a lean torso with defined abs and pecs slowly come into view. He immediately remembered those pecs. The guy from last night. He felt panicked at the thought of having slept with the guy the first night he met him. 

He wanted the earth to swallow him up. He slowly moved his gaze upwards to see that the face attached to the torso wasn't who he thought it was and he felt a sense of relief. "Tharn? What are you doing here?" He asked hoarsely. Tharn looked at him apologetically. Type was extremely confused and looked around to see he was in Tharn's room and felt relieved that he hadn't slept with that guy after all. 

He rubbed his eyes and began to push his body off the bed on his elbow. As soon as he did that, he felt sharp pain shooting up his abdomen and lower back and he froze. He stared up at Tharn again and saw that he was in his boxers and nothing else. He looked around to see that he was in Tharn's room. He turned his head to the other side of the bed to see that it was slept in. He lifted his sheet to see he was naked underneath it. He snapped his head back to him and stared at Tharn's face that seemed to be contorted in remorse. 

He didn't know what to make of it. He was at that bar to meet a guy and he did. He didn't know how he had reached from that to this point, in Tharn's bed, again. The absurdity of it all hit him right between the eyes as he started laughing. 

Tharn, seeing him laughing his head off, was perplexed. He had assumed Type would be extremely mad at him for what he had done to him again. He was ready to lose Type for real this time, but Type was laughing like he found the whole thing funny. He didn't know what to make of it so he just stood and stared at his friend laughing, while he held his sides in pain and humour in equal measure. 

"So, how many times did we do it?" Type asked after he was done laughing. Tharn hung his head guiltily. "Two."

"Wow, you're losing your touch," Type said amusedly. Tharn lifted his head up to look at him in shock because Type was making a joke in such a situation. When he saw the smile on Type's face, he felt a little relieved. He wasn't going to lose him. Tharn broke into a smile of his own at that realisation, but the tension hadn't left his body, locking his shoulders in place. He stepped backwards and felt his heel land on something cold and squishy. 

Tharn looked down to see it was another used condom. He broke into a smile and bent down to pick it up. "I missed one," he said, bringing it up to show it to Type who immediately widened his eyes. "Looks like my streak is still going strong," he said, smirking at Type. 

Type immediately started to laugh again as he felt the pain of the hangover and the activities of last night, which he had no memory of, hurt every part of his body, but being unable to stop himself. Tharn started laughing at the situation they had found themselves in again. Type's reaction was vastly different this time, which was a big relief.

After the wave of laughter had passed, Type choked a little on an ending snort and started to cough. "We can't go drinking just the two of us anymore. We are a danger to ourselves and to each other when we're drunk," Type said. Tharn nodded with a light chuckle. "Agreed. Next time we go drinking, we're inviting other people to join us," Tharn said smiling at him. "Good plan," Type said and smiled back. 

°°°

  
  


Tharn was finishing up his assignment for the day in the computer lab. He didn't like taking schoolwork home, he didn't want any distractions from the time he set aside for working on his game everyday. He was just about to save the file when he felt someone slide up next to him.

"Hey, you're Tharn right?" said the guy who sat down next to him. Tharn looked at him, a little surprised because he didn't recognise him. "Yeah, I'm Tharn." 

"I'm Dinh," he said, making a wai at Tharn. Tharn returned his wai, confused as to why he had approached him. "I saw you at the bar last weekend," he said smiling at him. Tharn was taken aback by that information. Even if he did see him at the bar, he didn't understand how he knew him to begin with. He even knew his name. 

"I'm friends with one of your classmates. They told me who you are," he said, knowing that Tharn was trying to figure out the answer to that very thing with a slight smirk. "Oh, okay. So did you need something from me?" Tharn asked, still not knowing why he had approached him.

"No. I just wanted to introduce myself because there are so few of us in this campus," he said with a smile. Tharn finally understood what he meant and smiled back politely. "Oh. It's nice to meet you," Tharn said as he got up from his seat and walked out of the lab, a little weirded out. 

°°°

  
  


Dinh found a way to run into Tharn a lot of times in the next few weeks. Tharn understood he was after more than just befriending him by the way he spoke, but he didn't know how to make him understand that he wasn't romantically interested in him. He tried every way to tell him, but he never seemed to get the idea. He kept following him around, trying to get him to talk to him. He seemed like a nice enough boy, he could see himself being friends with him if it wasn't for the constant flirting. It had honestly started to make him a little uncomfortable. He just couldn't be rude to him, or to anyone for that matter, so he was civil with him every time he approached him, trying to be as platonic with his actions around him as humanly possible, without it bordering on rude. 

°°°

  
  


'Tharn!'

'Yes?'

'Let's go out this weekend. I'm so fucking done with my group presentation. Half of the people just disappeared and Kemp and I had to finish the entirety of it. 

I'm so pissed off. 

I need a drink.'

'Hahahaha!

That sounds terrible.

So terrible that  **you're** the most responsible one in the whole group.'

'Fuck you!'

'Again?

Why are you so obsessed with me?'

'You fucking asshole.'

'Uh huh.

That's what happened.

Multiple times.'

'Will you shut up now?'

'Haha

Yeah, sorry. 

Couldn't help it.

Let's go. You should invite Kemp. I'd love to meet him.

Also, we need him there if we're drinking.'

'Yeah.

Good idea.

So this weekend?'

'Yeah.'

°°°

  
  


Type was feeling a little guilty about not hanging out with Kemp after the one time he had invited him to go bowling. Even then, he had cut their outing short to run to Tharn. He had invited him out because he had decided then that he was going to make more friends so he was going to stick to that decision. 

"Kemp, you free this weekend?" Type asked. Kemp turned to look at him from his seat. "Yeah, why?"

"Let's go drinking. I'm going out with Tharn, and he wants to meet you too," he said and Kemp stared at him. "You talk to him about me?" He asked, wide eyed. Type furrowed his brows as he looked at him, puzzled. "Of course. You're literally the only good friend I have in class," he said with a smile. 

Kemp was really surprised to hear that because he had only constantly heard him talking about Tharn. He was shocked to hear Type had even mentioned him to this Tharn who dominated every conversation they had for the past year and a half. He smiled and nodded. "I can't wait to meet Tharn: the man who has captured all your attention and free time for almost 2 years now," he said with a playful grin. Type chuckled at his wordage and the absolute truth behind it.

°°°

  
  


"Tharn, what are you doing this weekend? Do you want to hangout? Let's go to the bar. I've been so bogged down with assignments and lectures. I need to go for a drink," Dinh said looking at Tharn pleadingly. Tharn felt a little relieved that he had plans already so he didn't have to lie or make up an excuse. "Sorry, I can't. I'm meeting my friend this weekend."

"You can bring your friend along. You know what they say, the more the merrier," Dinh said with a grin. Tharn felt a little guilty about him going out drinking himself but not wanting to invite him. "I don't know how they'd feel about the modification," he said.

"Is it the same boy you were with that night?" Dinh asked and Tharn turned to look at him, surprised. "Yes. How did you…." 

"Is he your boyfriend?" Dinh asked, cutting Tharn off. "No!" Tharn half-screamed and immediately felt a little embarrassed. "No. We're just friends," he said, a little more calmly. Dinh nodded his head and smiled at the thought that it meant Tharn was single. 

He had been wondering if there had been something between the two of them when he saw how Tharn had been staring at that boy all night. He saw him sit at the bar, drinking, ignoring everyone who approached him. Dinh had bided his time and waited for him to get drunk enough to approach him that night, given how he had been pounding drink after drink. Once he saw an opening, he leapt at the chance to get his attention and pulled him to the dancefloor. He was so excited to be the one Tharn chose to accept after he had rejected everyone else who had come up to him. Until that boy saw them dancing together and had abandoned the hunk he was dancing with. He had stumbled towards them and rudely peeled him off Tharn; taking away the one chance he had gotten to get close to Tharn since he had laid eyes on him, much to his annoyance. He hadn't liked how that boy had proceeded to cling onto Tharn for dear life while they exited the bar. He felt relieved to hear that there was nothing from Tharn's side and that he was still available.

"So can I join you guys? I don't have anyone to hangout with. I don't want to drink alone because that's just depressing," he said with a mock pout. Tharn wanted to decline but felt even guiltier at the thought of actually doing it. He discussed inviting other people with Type so he figured it wasn't going to hurt. Plus, Dinh had originally wanted to hangout with Tharn alone and, the thought of how intimate and non-platonic that setting would have turned out to be, Tharn concluded that it was better to invite him that weekend so they could hangout more platonically with people around. 

"Sure. You can join us," he said and Dinh beamed at him happily. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can announce that we're near the halfway point now. Much is left to unfold. 
> 
> Thank you once again, beta. Sorry for hurting your brain with my knowledge(or lack thereof) everyday. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	23. 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He snapped his head to his right to see the back of Type's head sticking out of the covers again and groaned. He couldn't believe that their plan hadn't worked because they were right back in the situation they were trying to run from. Back in his house. Back in his bed. 

"I've invited a friend to join us. You don't mind right?" Tharn asked, turning to look at Type before they stepped out the door. "No, that was the plan to begin with, remember? That's why I invited Kemp," Type said and Tharn nodded. 

"So whom did you invite?" Type asked curious to know about Tharn's other friends because he never talked about anyone else other than the team he was developing his game with and they were all the way in Japan. Tharn tried to think about how to put it without leading on to the fact that the guy basically invited himself because that was embarrassing. He also didn't want to sound lame because the only friend he actually had was Type and that was a tad more embarrassing, even though he knew that Type was privy to that information, given how he only hung out with him. 

"Just someone from our college I started talking to a few weeks back. We just became friends," Tharn said, trying to sound nonchalant, as they got into the elevator. Type followed him and wondered who this new guy in Tharn's life was. "What's his name? What department?" He asked, looking at Tharn. "Dinh. He's in Architecture. Same year as us."

"Oh, cool," Type said walking out the elevator. "Kemp is really excited to meet you," he added, turning back to look at Tharn. Tharn stopped and looked at him, surprised about that piece of information. "Really? Why?" Tharn asked as he resumed walking out the lobby. "No reason. He's heard me talking about you so much that he really wants to put a face to the name," Type said, as they reached the curb and hailed a cab. Tharn smiled at the fact that Type talked about him to other people which made him feel warm and happy inside, being reminded of how he was also an important enough part of Type's life, as Type was to his, for him to do that. He basked in that knowledge with a stupid grin on his face as he followed him into the cab. 

°°°

  
  


"Kemp! Over here," Type said, raising his hand, to get his friend's attention. Tharn turned to look in the direction Type was facing to see a very tall, ruggedly handsome guy, walking towards them with a charming smile on his face. He was taken aback that Type had such a good looking friend and the fact that he'd never met him before.

Kemp walked up to them and grinned at Tharn. "Hi, I'm Kemp. Nice to finally meet you," he said as he made a wai at him. "Nice to finally meet you too. I'm Tharn," he said, returning his wai. "Yeah, I've heard a lot about you. This guy won't shut up about you," he said pointing at Type with his thumb. Type felt heat rising in his ears, feeling a little embarrassed. "Really? And what does he tell you about me?" Tharn asked, smirking at Type. 

Type wanted the ground to swallow him up. He shot up in his seat and looked down at Tharn. "That you're a pain in the ass. No need to be so proud about it," Type said to cover his embarrassment. Tharn gave him the widest grin and proceeded to start laughing at the blush creeping up on Type's face. He knew that Type really wasn't good at expressing himself, except for when it was really important; like the few times they went through rough patches. He knew Type well enough to know that he didn't like to say nice things about him to his face and he could see the proof of it in the shade of embarrassment that had crept up on his cheeks. He knew how much he meant to Type, but he also knew that Type wasn't one to talk about sappy things because of how cringe worthy he found it, so he decided to deflect it to save him from divulging what he clearly didn't want to.

"I agree. I am…." Tharn said, narrowing his eyes at Type. "...a real pain in the ass," he added, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Type felt his cheeks heating up even more because he had once again blurted out the first thing in his head without thinking it through, giving Tharn the perfect opportunity to pull his leg for the umpteenth time.

Tharn, seeing Type's blush get a shade darker, started laughing even harder. Type looked at the ground, not knowing what to say to him because what Tharn mentioned was true. He had been incapacitated for days after both their drunken trysts.

"Is this one of your inside jokes?" Kemp asked, breaking the bubble they were in. Tharn chuckled at how much of an inside joke that actually was and nodded his head at Kemp. "Yeah," Tharn said looking at Kemp. Kemp nodded like he understood Tharn. "I hope we're going to be talking about things that all of us can understand for the rest of the evening, or I'll have to drink myself silly to get through tonight," Kemp said, jokingly nudging Type's shoulder. Tharn felt a little guilty for not including Kemp in their conversation when it was the first time Type had brought a friend to meet him. "I'm sorry. Don't mind us. We have a chronic problem of talking about things no one else but we understand. Our ex-girlfriends can attest to it," Tharn said jokingly as Type looked up at him, the embarrassment finally lifting as he smiled at how true that was. "I've invited a friend too so, if we start to veer into those kinds of topics anytime during the night, you won't be alone," he added. Kemp chuckled and shook his head. "It's fine. I'm here to drink anyway. Why do I need friends when I have alcohol?" He said which made Tharn and Type laugh. 

"I hate to break it to you, but that's called alcoholism. And you might have a problem," Type said, bringing his hand up to rest on Kemp's shoulder and he looked at him in fake concern. "Which college student doesn't? We all have an alcohol problem. But we're young, so the least we can do is enjoy it when our bodies can still handle it," Kemp said and Type started laughing. "Isn't that the truth!" Type surmised as he smiled up at Kemp. Tharn looked at how easy the conversation between them flowed and felt an itch inside him. He wondered why Type never introduced them to each other when he was, what appeared to be, really good friends with Kemp. He felt a familiar feeling of discomfort he had felt as a kid starting to take root in his body when Tai had walked up to talk to Type after weeks of him having Type all to himself. He couldn't rationalise that feeling. They weren't kids anymore and Type was allowed to have other friends. 

Before he could wallow in that pit of sadness, he felt an arm land on his shoulder and turned to see who it was. "What is up, my friend? Have you started without me?" Dinh said with a grin on his face. Type snapped his head to the direction of that voice to see a guy who had his arm draped around Tharn and felt his chest jerk. He saw that the guy was the same height as Tharn sitting on the stool. He had perfectly styled, tousled hair that made him look like a model at a beach themed photoshoot. He had soft features and perfectly plump lips. He stared at him as he saw his face inches away from Tharn's and wondered if that guy was really just a friend to Tharn. He somehow looked like the male version of Pina. 

"Hey! I'm Dinh, Tharn's friend," he said breaking his gaze away from Tharn and waving at Type and Kemp. "These are Kemp and Type," Tharn said, introducing them and slowly snaking out of Dinh's hold on his shoulder, because the way he was staring at him made him a little uncomfortable. Type and Kemp made a wai at Dinh. "Oh, so you're Type? Nice to see you again," Dinh said, pointing at Type. Tharn felt his grip tighten on his glass, nervous about what was coming next. 

Type raised his eyebrows in surprise because he had never met him before. He was sure of it. His memory wasn't that bad anymore. He could remember people and faces better. "We have?" Type asked, quizzically. "Yeah, I saw you with Tharn at the bar," he replied with a smile. Tharn felt cold sweat forming on his forehead. He felt stupid for not telling Type about him earlier because he was embarrassed about not having any friends. He didn't know how Type was going to take the fact that he had seen them at the gay bar. He also didn't know if Type had told Kemp about his sexuality and was scared that Dinh might out him. 

"Which bar? We've been to a few together," Type asked, curiously. Dinh chuckled at the look of confusion on Type's face and turned to look at Tharn, who was nervously looking down at the table. He knew from the way that Tharn was averting his eyes that he had probably not told him about it. "Oh, you know, the one downtown with the good alcohol, even better looking patrons, and the pink neon sign behind the bar," Dinh said playfully, keeping the name of the bar to himself because it was a well known gay bar and he didn't know if Type was out to his friend sitting next to him. 

Type's eyes widened when realisation hit him. The pink neon sign. The same sign he had stared at when Tharn had gone to use the washroom. That night. The gay bar. "You were there?" He asked Dinh, eyes the size of saucers. Dinh nodded as he chuckled lightly. "Yeah. I was there. I met Tharn in college after that and we became friends," Dinh said smiling at Tharn. Tharn was nervously looking between Type and Dinh to see what Dinh would tell him and to also gauge what Type's reaction to that information would be. 

Type was still processing what Dinh had told him. If Dinh had seen them at that bar and only certain people visited that bar, it meant that Dinh was…. gay? He looked at Dinh with eyes opened even wider. 

"What's this bar? Can we go there next time?" Kemp asked, suddenly breaking the tension around the table as all three of them snapped their head to Kemp and screamed in unison.

"No!"

Kemp leaned back, shocked that all of them screamed the same thing at him at the same time. "Why? I want to drink good alcohol too," Kemp said innocently. The rest of them scrambled in their seats to try to come up with an excuse they could give him, without stating the obvious. 

"Oh, you wouldn't like it there. It's very crowded," Dinh offered. "Yeah, it's a bar. Of course it's going to be crowded. Look around," Kemp said, waving his hand in the general direction of their surroundings to show him how crowded the bar they were at was too. 

"It's really far," Tharn offered. "It's downtown. That's not very far," Kemp replied. 

Type knew he had to save all of their asses so he looked up at Kemp to offer up his excuse. "It's very expensive."

Kemp turned to Type and widened his eyes. "Oh, then count me out. I'm just a poor college student. I like my alcohol cheap," he said and the rest of them took a collective breath of relief. Tharn looked up at Type apologetically. Type knew what he was trying to convey wordlessly so he smiled, nodded his head and patted his back to tell him it was all good. 

They fell into conversation as they drank and actually had a lot of fun talking about their college and their respective departments. 

"This guy here was supposed to join the basketball team because we had said we'd win the intercollegiate matches together but he didn't even show up for his try-outs," Kemp said with a laugh, quite tipsy by that point. Type smiled in embarrassment because it was true. He just had a lot on his plate. He really didn't have time to join the basketball team. "So I had to take the load for both of us and win us the cup last year," Kemp added. 

"Really? You're a part of the college basketball team?" Dinh asked. "No, I'm a part of the college football team."

Tharn turned to look at Kemp, surprised at that news, because he finally figured out the secret behind why he looked so muscular and athletic. He wondered if Type would also have that body if he stuck to playing football and realised it probably wouldn't suit him. He had too precious a face.  _ That _ on a bulky body would probably make him look like a renaissance painting of a baby, he figured. He started chuckling to himself at that thought. 

"What's funny?" Type asked, a little drunk himself. "Nothing, I'm going to take a leak," Tharn said, still finding the image he conjured up in his head funny. "I need to go too," Dinh said, following after Tharn. 

After they disappeared from sight, Type turned to Kemp and leaned in on the table to get closer to him. "I need you to make sure that I don't go home with Tharn."

"What? Why?" Kemp asked, confused at the sudden request from him. "Just in case I get too drunk. You take me back to your place if that happens. Okay?" Type asked again. Kemp smirked and looked up at Type. He guessed Type didn't want to be the roadblock to his friend getting laid because he saw the way Dinh had been eyeing Tharn all night. He knew there was something there. It was definitely not a friendly look because he saw the hunger in his eyes. He figured Type saw it too and realised he would spoil it for his friend if he got too drunk and insisted on crashing with Tharn. He nodded at Type.

Type relaxed back on his high chair. He realised Tharn and him had made the right decision to invite other people to go out drinking. If he ended up waking up next to Tharn again, it was not going to cause him a only a little bit of a problem because they had accidentally done it twice already. And, according to the logic he had presented to Tharn, the third time would mean that he really wanted it. Even the thought of it scared the ever living hell out of him.

"Okay, let's get this party started!" Dinh said, walking back to the table. He had brought a server with him who was holding a bottle of vodka and four shot glasses. Type looked at the alcohol, worried about the outcome of consuming that much alcohol. He turned to look at Kemp who smiled at him reassuringly. "I'll make sure to take you home," he said, leaning in to whisper in his ear, and Type relaxed.

Tharn stared at their little exchange from his seat, wondering what Kemp had whispered in Type's ear, feeling a little deflated about not being Type's only friend much like Type was his only friend followed by immediately feeling guilt fill his chest for being so selfish. He grabbed the shot glass and downed it without waiting for the rest of the group. "We're supposed to take the shot together," Dinh said, a little irritated. 

"That one didn't count," Tharn said as he uncapped the bottle and poured himself another shot. Dinh laughed and brought his glass up to encourage everyone to drink the shot. Type downed the vodka and felt the straight alcohol start to burn his throat. 

°°°

  
  


Tharn slowly woke up to his head feeling like a jackhammer was going to town on his skull. He couldn't figure out why he did this to himself over and over again. He opened his eyes slightly to be graced by the familiar sight of his ceiling. He wondered how he got home again. He was at the bar with Kemp, Dinh and Type. He blacked out. He woke up in his bedroom. 

Type!

He snapped his head to his right to see the back of Type's head sticking out of the covers again and groaned. He couldn't believe that their plan hadn't worked because they were right back in the situation they were trying to run from. Back in his house. Back in his bed. 

He figured that they just needed to stop drinking together altogether. That was the only way this wouldn't happen again. He willed his arm that currently felt like it weighed a ton in his hungover state to extend towards Type's sleeping figure to wake him up. He grabbed his arm lightly and shook him. "Type. Wake up," he said. 

Type stirred from his sleep, the light being too much even though his eyes were shut. He felt someone shaking his arm causing the dull ache in the back of his skull to magnify. He didn't want to wake up. He just wanted the pain to dull like it had when he was unconscious so he refused to answer. 

When Type didn't move, Tharn shook him lightly again. "Type, it happened again. Wake up!" 

Type felt himself being shaken again and felt really irritated at being woken up. He knew he was not going to get any sleep because his mind was fully conscious of the pain in his body, so he brought a hand up to his forehead to massage the pain away. He felt pain in his lower back and the familiarity of that feeling made his eyes snap open. The assault on his corneas that sudden action caused was nothing compared to the shock of that realisation.

His vision cleared to the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling and he was confused. He turned to his right to see Kemp sitting in front of him. He looked down to see that he was lying down on a leather sofa. He turned to look up at Kemp, who was smiling at him, again. He finally relaxed, relieved that their plan had worked. He blacked out and didn't wake up next to Tharn. He smiled back at Kemp, thankful that he had saved him.

"You should eat something. It's 3 in the afternoon," Kemp said. Type nodded and pushed himself off the couch. He looked down and figured that the pain he felt on his lower back was because he was sleeping on hard cushions with piping around the edges that were pressing on his lower back and started to chuckle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess you all are getting an update today after all! All hail the beta!
> 
> Thanks, beta. Your reaction was really really satisfying.
> 
> As I had mentioned, there is a looooot of angst coming. Don't hate me, please!
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	24. 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's okay. It's not entirely your fault. I was a part of what happened too and I didn't insist hard enough. You don't have to apologise," he said and Tharn looked up to see him cracking a small reassuring smile, which made him feel worse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the reaction filled comments on the last chapter. And, I'm sorry for being the reason behind it. Haha. 
> 
> I should tell you that we have begun on our journey of angst from this chapter so be prepared.

Tharn was annoyed about Type refusing to wake up, so he grabbed his upper arm and pulled it towards himself to jerk him awake. As soon as his face came into view, Tharn was mortified. 

Dinh. 

He had slept with Dinh. 

He should have been happy that he didn't wake up next to Type again, he figured, but he somehow felt a lot worse about waking up next to Dinh. 

His breath was coming in short, broken rhythms as that reality dawned on him. He knew he was hyperventilating. All he needed right then was to make sure that they hadn't really slept together so he lifted the cover off him to check if he was wearing anything. As soon as he saw what was under the covers, his lungs constricted even more because he was, in fact, very naked. 

He suddenly remembered that the times he had woken up next to Type, there was always evidence of them having sex in the form of the used condoms that littered the floor so he quickly snapped his head to the ground to see his boxers and clothes lying there. But he couldn't see any condoms. It lit a tiny flame of hope in his heart.

He threw the cover off himself and flew out of the bed. He grabbed at the clothes and lifted them one by one, shaking them thoroughly to see if maybe the condom got stuck in between the folds to come up empty. He quickly wore his boxers and felt a little relieved because, if there was no used condom, he figured they probably did not have sex.

He searched the periphery of the entire bed on his hand and knees to see if the condom ended up there to find it empty too, feeling more relieved. Next, he went to the trash can beside his desk and threw the top open. He put his hand in and rifled through the scraps of paper and waste packets to see if he had discarded the condom there. 

"What are you doing?" Din suddenly asked, breaking Tharn from his crazed quest to find any evidence of their escapade from the night before with both his fists inside the small trash can, and looked up at him like a raccoon caught in headlights.

Tharn didn't know how to broach the obvious topic when they had both been naked in his bed. That should have been proof enough. But he couldn't find a condom. That lacking piece of evidence was what kept that small ray of hope that they hadn't slept together in his heart alive because there were always condoms when he woke up with Type. He knew that he had to ask Dinh to make absolutely sure that nothing happened. 

"Last night. Did we…." Tharn said, trailing off at the end, not being able to form the words. He saw Dinh's face turn into a slow grin as his heart felt like it was slowly sinking into quicksand. "You were amazing," Dinh replied. 

Tharn's word came to a stop as he lost his grip on the trash can. It made a loud, metallic clank as it fell to the floor, its contents spilling everywhere. He couldn't believe that the worse had actually come true. The small sliver of hope he had was cruelly snatched away from him by those three words. 

"But, how? There are no condoms anywhere in the room…." Tharn said, mostly to the walls, as he tried to process that information. "You didn't want to use a condom. I was too drunk to say no because I was very horny too," Dinh said and Tharn's world crashed around him. He didn't use a condom…. That's why there was no condom around the room. The implication of that laid heavy on his shoulders. 

"So you're saying I insisted that we don't use a condom?" Tharn asked, knowing that he had to stop drinking so much that it incapacitated him from making rational decisions. He had just put, not only himself, but also Dinh in danger. "Yeah. I asked you to use one but you said you liked it raw," Dinh replied. 

Tharn felt a jolt of confusion by his words. He knew, in his rational mind, that he understood the risks of having unprotected sex. He had even used condoms when he had blacked out with Type. He couldn't understand if it was Type who made him wear a condom which is why he ended up not using one with Dinh. He felt a wave of guilt at the possibility. 

"I'm really sorry, Dinh. I shouldn't have done that. No matter how drunk, I should have agreed to use a condom," Tharn said with his head hanging low.

"It's okay. It's not entirely your fault. I was a part of what happened too and I didn't insist hard enough. You don't have to apologise," he said and Tharn looked up to see him cracking a small reassuring smile, which made him feel worse. 

"We should go get tested. Just to be sure," Tharn said seriously. "Why? I've not had sex for a few months and I have been tested in that period. I'm clean."

"I'm not blaming you. I just want to make sure you're really alright because I insisted we don't use a condom. Please, let's go get tested," Tharn pleaded, close to losing his mind by the guilt that was consuming him. 

"You're really concerned about me?" Dinh asked, looking surprised. Tharn just nodded his head sincerely. "Okay. Let's get tested," he finally said and Tharn sighed in relief.

Tharn got off the floor and headed to the washroom to shower, trying to wash off his mistake from the night before, which he knew he could never wash away. No matter how hard he tried.

°°°

  
  


'So our plan worked.'

'What?'

'I had completely blacked out yesterday.

You can't imagine how relieved I was when I woke up on Kemp's couch and not your bed.'

'Oh, yeah.

The plan.'

'Why don't you sound as relieved as me?

Did you want to wake up next to me?

Don't tell me….

Are you that obsessed with me?'

'No and yes.'

'What?'

'I kind of wish I did wake up next to you.

I fucked up.'

'Huh?!?

The fuck does that mean?'

'I did wake up next to someone.

I really fucked up.'

'No…. 

Don't tell me….'

'Yeah….'

'You slept with Dinh?'

'Yes.

And I feel like shit.'

'Hahahahaha!'

'It's not funny.

I really fucked up.'

'You just slept with him.

Why are you stressing out so much?

We accidentally slept together more than once.

Nothing has gone wrong between us.

You can just tell him that you guys were both really drunk and apologise.'

'Yeah. 

I guess I'll do that.

Thanks.'

'Anytime.

So how many times?'

'Once.'

'You've lost your touch.'

'Yeah.

I wholeheartedly agree.

I have to go deal with Dinh.

Talk to you later.'

'I'm waiting to hear all about it.'

'I know how much you like to revel in my misery.

I'll have quite the story for you.'

'Yeah, you know it!

Can't wait!

Just make sure you put on a chastity belt the next time you go drinking.

You can't seem to keep it in your pants.'

'Very funny.'

'Thanks.'

Tharn looked down at the messages with a blank expression. He couldn't bring himself to tell Type what had actually transpired without feeling like an utter asshole again. He was already suffering to begin with.

"Tharn, so does this mean we're dating now?" Dinh asked, looking expectantly at him, seated on the bench in the clinic they had just got tested at. Tharn turned to look at him, very nervous about how to turn him down gently after what he had done to him.

"I…. I…." He stuttered, trying to find the right words, but failing to think them up. 

"You are so amazing. You actually cared about me enough to bring us here to get tested. You made me feel so special yesterday. And today. I can't believe people like you exist. I was convinced that all men are dogs because my ex left me after we had been together for four years to get married to a girl his family found for him. I had been so heartbroken that I stopped believing someone would even care for me even a little bit. But you proved me wrong." Dinh looked at him with hope reflected in his eyes. 

Tharn stopped functioning. Dinh had been jilted by his boyfriend. Exactly like what Pina had done to him. He winced as he recalled the pain that had caused him. And he had only dated her for a year. Dinh was with his ex for four years so he couldn't even begin to understand how much he might have suffered. On top of that, Tharn had put him in danger by not using any protection. He felt more guilt in that moment than he had ever felt in his life as he looked down at the floor, hoping the earth would swallow him whole.

"So? Are we dating?" Dinh asked again. Tharn looked up at Dinh to see the expectant look on his face and felt even guiltier. He nodded slowly, ignoring the loud voices in his head and every cell in his body screaming in protest. 

Dinh smiled widely and held Tharn's hand, even that made him feel cold all over. 

°°°

  
  


When Type was done with classes on Wednesday, he decided to take the roundabout route through the other buildings in his campus on his way back to his dorm because he wanted to stretch his legs after sitting for lectures all day. He rounded the corner from the administrative building and broke into a smile when he saw Tharn's back standing at a distance with Dinh. He figured he'd invite them to join him for food, so he started to make his way towards them.

Before he had even taken a few steps, he saw Dinh take Tharn's hand in his and lace their fingers together. He saw a smile on his face that he recognised. It looked like he liked Tharn. More than a friend. 

He froze. He wondered how bad Tharn fucked up for that to happen. He figured Tharn had really got himself in a real situation because, when they had talked earlier, he had mentioned that he made a mistake by sleeping with him. He knew that Tharn didn't like him like that so he was thoroughly amused by what he was witnessing. He could almost picture the look of horror on Tharn's face.Type decided he was going to help him turn the boy down, being his friend and all. 

Just before he could take a step forward, Tharn turned to his side and his face came into Type's view. The look on his face sent a shockwave through his body. Tharn was smiling back at Dinh. 

Type found himself stuck in place at the sight of him looking like he wanted to hold Dinh's hand. He was thrown for a loop because everything he had been assuming up to that point was proving to be wrong. Tharn looked…. happy.

°°°

  
  


Type was sitting in class the next day, still deep in thought about what he had seen the day before. He still couldn't wrap his head around it. He was afraid to text Tharn to straighten it out with him because he was admittedly a little scared about the reply. He didn't know if he wanted his assumptions to be proven correct. 

He felt a little ridiculous thinking along those lines because it was Tharn's life and Tharn's choice if he chose to date Dinh after all. He just felt a little uneasy about it all. He also figured that if they really were dating, Tharn would surely tell him. Type was his closest friend. He knew that Tharn wouldn't keep something that important from him. 

He shook it off, deciding he was just making up all those scenarios in his head without even having talked to the guy. There was probably nothing going on. 

"Type, are Dinh and Tharn dating?" Kemp asked and it pulled Type out of his thoughts. Type immediately turned to look at him in horror. Kemp had just voiced out loud what he had been thinking and it just didn't sit right with him. "What? No! Of course not," he said, flustered.

"Are you sure?" Kemp asked and Type thought about it for a second before he could answer. He wasn't sure. But, he knew that Tharn wasn't the kind of guy to keep something that important from him and he knew what his reply was going to be. "Yes. I'm sure. Why do you ask?"

"Didn't you see the picture Dinh put up of them on Instagram? They sure looked like a couple in that picture," Kemp said which made Type stop and widen his eyes in shock. "What picture?" He asked, horrified.

"Oh, right! I forgot you're not on social media. Sometimes I wonder if you really are a college student and not a senile old man," Kemp said with a chuckle as he unlocked his phone. He opened Instagram and searched up Dinh's profile. Type stared at his phone screen with bated breath. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Kemp tapped on his profile and opened the most recent post and handed the phone to Type. "See? Don't they look like a couple?" He asked. 

Type lost all sensation in his body when he saw the picture. Tharn had an arm around Dinh's waist while Dinh had wrapped both his arms around Tharn, looking up at him with a smile on his face. Tharn was smiling at the camera. He looked…. happy. Type's heart stopped. He couldn't believe his eyes. He couldn't believe the eyes that stared back at him from the small phone screen. He didn't want to believe it. Tharn could not be dating him. He hadn't told Type anything about it. He knew that Tharn would have told him. He shook his head in disbelief at Kemp. "No, it's just a picture. It doesn't mean they're dating," he said, trying to convince himself at that point. 

"But look at the caption," Kemp said. Type turned back to look at the image. Underneath it, he saw what Kemp was talking about. There were three heart emoticons and no text. He felt his chest constrict, his breath catching in his throat. "No. It's not possible. Tharn didn't say anything to me about this. He always tells me. He would have told me. This can't be true. This is not true," Type repeated and Kemp looked at him, worried that his friend might be losing his mind. "Type, have you asked him?" He asked. Type turned to look at him and couldn't reply because he hadn't. He wanted to ask Tharn when he saw them together the day before, but he didn't, and he really regretted it in the moment. He needed to know. He just needed to know. He pulled his phone out and started typing furiously.

'Are you dating Dinh?'

'How did you find out?'

Type dropped his phone on his lap because his hands lost function when he read that reply. So it was true after all. He didn't want to believe it, but here was Tharn, confirming it. 

'When?'

'Since the day...

After that night.'

Type felt an icy sensation spreading through his body. It had been four whole days and Tharn hadn't told him. He felt the walls closing in on him. 

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'I was going to tell you on the weekend. It's a bit of a long story. I didn't want to tell you over text.'

'A heads up would have been nice. 

I had to find out from Instagram.

Guess how that felt?

I thought we were friends.'

'We are! That's why I didn't want to tell you on text.

Are you on Instagram?

When did you join social media?'

'I'm not.

Kemp showed me just now.

I can't believe you didn't tell me!'

'I'm sorry.

Let's meet up on Saturday.

I'll tell you all about it then.'

'Fine.'

'I'm really sorry, Type. 

Please don't be mad.'

Type locked his phone. He didn't want to say something he regretted because he was ready to blow a gasket at Tharn. He knew that was not going to turn out too well so he decided to ignore his last text. 

He just couldn't believe that Tharn didn't tell him about something so important about his life. His shitty excuse for not telling him was making him even more furious. And, now, he'd have to wait three whole days to hear about it. He couldn't stop thinking about if Dinh would post more things on Instagram in the meanwhile. He would be so out of the loop. He didn't want to be in the dark for three whole days. 

"Kemp, how do you make an Instagram?" He asked, turning to his friend. Kemp looked at him, amused at his wording. "You mean an Instagram account? You don't literally mean how to make a whole app, right?" He asked with a chuckle. Type felt his face heat up at how clueless he sounded. "Yes, an Instagram account. Help me make an Instagram account," he said to cover his embarrassment as he handed him his phone. 

Kemp smiled at him and took his phone from him. He downloaded the app and asked Type to put in his details. He then took the phone from him and pointed it at his face. "Smile!" He said as he clicked a picture of a surprised looking Type. "What was that for?" He asked, confused at why Kemp was laughing. "Your profile picture. Don't you want people to know who you are so they don't dismiss your follow requests?" He asked. Type was utterly confused by everything that came out of Kemp's mouth. "Huh?" He asked.

Kemp started laughing at his clueless friend again. He uploaded his picture and showed him his profile. "People usually keep their Instagram accounts on private so you need to send them follow requests. If they don't recognise you, they will not accept it. That's why you need to have a picture of yourself in your profile," Kemp said, explaining how everything works to his social media virgin of a friend.

"Oh, okay," Type said nodding his head. "Now you can follow your friends. Whom do you want to start with?" Kemp asked, tapping on the search option. "Dinh!" Replied Type almost instantaneously. Kemp jerked back a little and stared at Type at his reaction. "I was expecting you to say Tharn. But, okay, let's look for Dinh," he said as he searched up Dinh's ID. He sent him a follow request. He then sent Tharn a follow request. "Anyone else?" Kemp asked. "Ummm…. You?" Type replied, no other name coming to mind. Kemp was surprised Type remembered him as he chuckled lightly. He quickly sent himself a follow request which he immediately accepted with his phone. 

Type took his phone back and tapped on Dinh's profile to see that he couldn't see any posts on his page and felt frustrated because he had made a whole profile just for that purpose. "Why can't I see his posts? I followed him, didn't I?" Type asked, turning the phone to Kemp who started laughing at how frustrated Type sounded. "He needs to accept your request first. Were you not listening? Here, you can see my profile because I accepted your request," he said as he tapped on his profile on Type's phone and the images started loading. Type opened his eyes wide and scrutinised how the images were loading one by one. "Oh, okay. So I can see this on his profile when he accepts my request?" Type asked, turning towards Kemp. Kemp nodded and chuckled again.

Kemp showed him how to navigate the app and how to like pictures as Type paid more attention to that than he ever had.

°°°

  
  


Type reached his dorm and set his bag down when his phone suddenly dinged. He immediately retrieved it to see that Dinh had accepted his follow request. He quickly tapped on his profile to see that the picture in question was still the last post he had updated. He tapped on the picture and stared at it for a long time, really angry at the fact that there was no option to dislike posts on Instagram. 

He decided he needed to write a lengthy email to the app makers to tell them how their application was extremely limiting as he discarded his phone on his bed and angrily fired up his laptop on his study table. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks beta! Your patience will be rewarded someday by the universe. 
> 
> This chapter was really angst heavy and I remember it was really draining to write. I think it took about two days for me to finish it because I'd just be zapped mentally. 
> 
> But it's just the beginning. I have been emotionally exhausted for weeks on end while writing this fic. I'm saying this now so, if you plan to stick with this story, you can prepare yourselves beforehand. And I'm sorry in advance. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	25. 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tharn opened it in a heartbeat and let Type in. He was extremely nervous about what he was going to say to Type because he had rehearsed his entire speech but forgot it as soon as he saw Type standing at his door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a mandatory apology I'm going to stick before every chapter from now on. 
> 
> I'm sorry!
> 
> I'd also like to sincerely apologise to the people who were dying in the comments of the last chapter. It's going to be fine. It's just fiction at the end of the day. I do appreciate your enthusiasm. Haha

Tharn was in the middle of taking out his notebook from his backpack when his phone dinged. He unlocked his phone and saw he had a follow request on Instagram. He clicked on the notification to see that it was a request from someone called TypTwt. He scrutinised the profile picture and recognised that it was really a picture of Type, but he looked like he was surprised, like he hadn't expected someone to take a picture of him. He figured it was a fake account because Type didn't take pictures and Type especially did not do social media. He closed the app and went back to his lecture. 

°°°

  
  
  


Type stared at Instagram to see that Tharn had still not accepted his follow request and it was driving him crazy. It had been a whole day and he still couldn't access his profile. He wondered if he didn't see the notification, but it made no sense to him because Tharn always replied to his texts as soon as he sent them. He felt he needed to confront him.

'Why haven't you accepted my follow request?'

'What!'

'On Instagram.

Why haven't you accepted it?'

'That profile really is you??'

'Obviously!

Didn't you see my picture?'

'I did, but I thought it was fake because you don't take pictures and the profile picture looked like someone took you by surprise. 

Also, you haven't had any interest in joining social media since the day we met.

How was I supposed to know it was real?'

'Well, you know it's real now. 

Accept my request.'

'What made you join social media?'

'Oh, I don't know, maybe because that's the only place I can get information about your life because you don't tell me yourself.'

Tharn felt really guilty when he read that message. He knew that he should have told Type right away, just like he had wanted to initially. He backed out last minute because he himself hadn't wrapped his head around the fact that he not only had an STD scare, but also had started a relationship on the same day. He wanted to process it for himself before he got back to Type. 

'I'm really sorry, Type. 

It wasn't my intention for you to find out like that.

I really wanted to tell you in person.'

'You can take your dumb excuse and shove it right up your ass.

Accept my goddamn follow request and fuck off.'

'Okay.

Right away.

I'm sorry!!!'

'I will take your apology in person.'

'Okay.

I'm still sorry.'

Type's phone pinged to show a notification for Instagram. He immediately tapped on it to see that Tharn had accepted his request. He hurriedly tapped on Tharn's profile and his eyes lit up as he saw the pictures finally loading.

He felt a little relieved to see that Tharn had not put up the picture with Dinh. He scrolled through the pictures and smiled at how wholesome his profile was, forgetting all about his anger as he scrolled down. There were pictures of him and his family. Lots of pictures of the sky. Pictures of food. He scrolled further down and his eyes landed on one that made him freeze. 

He tapped on it and it opened to a picture of the two of them, asleep in the tent, when they had gone camping with Pina and Nicolette. He figured Pina had taken it when they had passed out. He looked at the caption and he felt warmth spreading through his body.

_ 'Abandoning your girlfriends and passing out next to each other. Just best friend things.' _

Type realised that was the first picture of them together and took a screenshot of it. He smiled from ear to ear as he changed his profile picture to that one.

°°°

  
  


Tharn was sitting in class the next day, lost in thought about the previous night. Dinh had come over and basically pushed him to have sex with him. It felt like it was the first time to Tharn because he didn't remember their actual first time. He wanted to hold off, but he felt really bad about the fact that he was only dating him out of guilt. He also figured that, since they were already dating, it would help him accept the fact that they were in a relationship.

But, he didn't feel good about it. It took him a long time to even get turned on enough to get on with it. He just couldn't get hard. Once he had, he kept losing his erection. He didn't even finish in the end. He figured it was probably the guilt he was feeling that was making him unable to enjoy it. It just felt really off. Dinh had told him that he enjoyed it a lot, but he wondered if he was just being nice and sparing him the embarrassment.

He mindlessly tapped on Instagram to see that he had a few notifications. He scrolled down to see that Type had commented on a picture of his. He tapped on it to reveal the picture of them from the campsite. He chuckled as he read his comment.

_ 'We pitched two tents that day.' _

He appreciated the euphemism that he remembered he had used to calm Type down that day and liked the comment. He wondered if Type had put up any pictures as he opened his profile. As soon as his eyes fell on the profile picture, his smile widened even further when he saw Type had used that very picture as his new profile picture. He felt warmth enveloping him at the sight of it after days of feeling cold and empty.

°°°

  
  


Type stood outside Tharn's door feeling extremely nervous. This was the first time he had been afraid to knock on his door. He knew that he had to find out how he ended up dating Dinh, but the thought of it made him not want to listen to it. He had been battling his own mind about why he was so bothered by Tharn dating someone. He guessed that it was probably because of how Tharn's last relationship had turned out. He figured he was already thinking of Dinh as a bad person when he had done nothing wrong to begin with because of Pina. He felt a little guilty at the thought and decided to give him a chance before painting him as the villain and knocked on the door. 

Tharn opened it in a heartbeat and let Type in. He was extremely nervous about what he was going to say to Type because he had rehearsed his entire speech but forgot it as soon as he saw Type standing at his door.

Type walked up to the couch and sat down. Tharn nervously approached him and settled down next to him. Type looked at Tharn curiously. "So, I'm here. Spill."

Tharn looked at him and knew that he couldn't stall any longer. He had already waited a week and they had already gotten into lots of small arguments ever since. He didn't want there to be discord between them after all that they had already been through. He decided to be as honest with him as he possibly could. 

"That day, I woke up to find that I had slept with Dinh. When I woke up, I tried to look around to see if there were any condoms lying around but found none. I thought we hadn't really had sex so I asked Dinh about it. He told me that I didn't want to use a condom and that we did it without one," Tharn said and Type sat up straight. "What? That makes no sense! We always woke up to see condoms around the room. It happened twice! How can you believe what he told you?" Type said angrily, his suspicions about Dinh really coming true in front of him.

"No, Type. The difference in that story is that we were both blacked out when we did it. Dinh was drunk but still conscious. He remembers what happened. He told me that I insisted not to use a condom," Tharn said, feeling worse retelling the story to Type than he had when he found out about it on that day. "What nonsense! Have you ever had sex without a condom before?" Type asked and Tharn hung his head guiltily. "Yes."

"What the fuck! Do you know how unsafe that is? Did you not pay attention during sex education classes?" Type asked, furious at how stupid Tharn was. "Yeah, I know. That's why I think he was telling the truth. The times we slept together, I figured that you had the foresight to make me wear a condom," Tharn said, still feeling guilty.

"Who else did you have unprotected sex with?" Type asked. "With my ex boyfriend. He liked to do it without a condom so I sort of got used to it. It's possible that I remembered that and refused to use one," Tharn said defeatedly.

"What the fuck, Tharn! I had sex with you! Twice! No, six times! And you're only telling me this now?" Type said furiously. Tharn felt guilt climb up his chest, slowly constricting his airways. He had forgotten that he was completely blacked out both times they had sex. He had assumed that they had used protection because there were so many condoms around the room. "Oh, my god! I'm so sorry, Type! It never even crossed my mind because the floor was littered with condoms every time we woke up. I just assumed we used protection. Do you think we did it more than three times each night?" He asked frantically. Type felt heat rising in his ears and cheeks at the thought of those nights. All he remembered were small flashes of them having sex. Nothing beyond that. "I…. I don't know," Type said, unsurely.

"I'm clean though. We got tested that day. Even if that did happen with us, you don't have anything to worry about," Tharn said and Type turned to look at him at the new information Tharn hadn't shared with him. "You had an STD scare and you didn't even tell me?" Type said, menacingly making Tharn cower under his gaze. "Yeah, a lot happened after that so I didn't have the time to tell you," Tharn said truthfully.

Type felt rage burning in his body. "What else came up that you couldn't pick up your phone for one second to tell me about something so important?"

"At the clinic, Dinh asked me if us sleeping together meant if we were dating. He told me about everything he had gone through. His boyfriend left him after dating him for four years to get married to a girl. He had lost hope in finding someone who would care about him so he was really happy to meet me because he felt like I truly cared about him," Tharn said and Type narrowed his eyes not liking where this was going. "But you care about everybody. That's not a special thing you do just for him," Type retorted. Tharn nodded his head, understanding what Type meant.

"Yeah. So I agreed to date him," Tharn said, avoiding Type's gaze. Type felt his vision blurring because of the pure rage he was feeling down to his bones. "Are you telling me that you started dating him out of guilt?"

"No! I like him. He's really nice and fun. I wanted to date him. I had been in a funk for so long that I even slept with  _ you _ of all people!" Tharn said as he lied through his teeth to Type for the first time. He knew that Type would make him somehow see sense, which he was actively avoiding to see at the moment, and make him break up with him. He couldn't do that because he needed to be with Dinh. Even though it was probably for the better, because he wasn't entirely happy about the situation he had found himself in. He knew he had put Dinh through too much. He felt like he was obligated to date him.

Type felt knives jab at his chest because of Tharn's words. He regretted sleeping with Tharn but he didn't know that Tharn regretted it even more than he did. He didn't know why he was feeling like that. He figured it was probably because sleeping with Tharn had made him come to realise a lot of things and helped him heal from the trauma that had taken root in his entire life for years. He stopped and stared at the floor as the realisation finally hit him.

He didn't regret sleeping with Tharn. Not at all. 

But Tharn did and it made him feel like his body was covered in needles, jabbing deep into his skin. Before he could say anything back, Tharn's bedroom door opened to reveal Dinh. He walked out, rubbing his eyes, dressed only in his boxers. Type felt his chest tighten at the implication that held. 

"Oh, Type! What are you doing here so early?" He asked. 

Type cleared his throat and tried to keep his gaze on his face. "It's 11 in the morning. It's not early," he said trying not to grit his teeth.

"Oh, is it? I thought it was like, 10 or something," Dinh said as he sat down next to Tharn, wrapping his arms around his torso. Tharn stiffened at his touch, wondering when he took off all his clothes. They hadn't even had sex the night before because Tharn had feigned a headache. He wondered if the AC unit in his room stopped working.

Type stared daggers at the hands that were wrapped around Tharn's waist. He had a primal urge to pry them off him. He could feel that there was something really wrong, even if Tharn had told him that he wanted to date him. He just felt it in his bones. The feeling intensified when he saw Dinh smirking at him.

"So, Tharn told you that we're dating now?" Dinh asked and Type felt white hot rage flow through him. The sudden urge to punch him in the face took him by surprise. He calmed himself down a little, because it was probably not a good idea to punch his friend's new boyfriend in the face. "Yeah. He just did," Type said, trying to sound neutral. 

"Aren't you going to congratulate us?" Dinh asked with a smile on his face that Type immediately wanted to wipe off with a resounding slap. He smiled through the rage. "Congratulations," he said through gritted teeth. 

Dinh started laughing at the way Type was contorting his face. "Do you really mean it? Because our face looks like you got botched fillers," he said with a chuckle. Type felt rage lashing inside his body. "Yeah, I mean it," he said, releasing his clenched teeth, trying to sound more genuine.

"Oh, thank god. I was scared that my boyfriend's closest friend wouldn't approve of me. Aren't you happy he's happy for us, Tharn?" Dinh asked, looking up at Tharn. Type felt like he was an inch away from grabbing him and chucking him out the balcony, like he had been planning to do with Pina's things all those months ago. Tharn felt his chest tighten in guilt as he tried to put a smile on his face. "Yeah. So happy."

"Are you guys going to the same cosmetologist? You have the same look on your face that he does," Dinh said pointing at Type with a smile. Tharn just relaxed his expression and smiled more genuinely. As soon as Type saw that smile on his face, he was furious.

"Type, you should join us for lunch. Tharn is taking me out for a date but I don't mind you joining us. I'd like to get to know you better," Dinh said with a smile. Type was ready to leave the country to get out of that situation, but he knew that he needed to get to know him better too because he could sense that something was really wrong. He realised that he needed someone there to hold him back from doing something to Dinh because he had never been so angry in his life. He couldn't go out with just the two of them. He needed a buffer. 

"Do you mind if I invite Kemp?"

Tharn turned to look at Type, shocked at his suggestion. He couldn't understand why he wanted to hang out with Kemp. He spent his entire week with Kemp and only made time for Tharn on the weekends, so he couldn't understand why he wanted to include him in their time together on the weekend. He figured it wasn't really their time together anymore because Dinh was going to be there too, so he resigned. "Sure. The more the merrier," he said with a smile on his face. 

Type walked out to the balcony to call Kemp and Tharn wondered why he couldn't just talk in front of them. He was only supposed to be inviting him out for lunch. There was nothing secretive about that.

He stared at Type's back. It looked tense. After a minute or so he saw him slowly ease his stance, throw his head back and laugh, which made him knit his eyebrows in confusion. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta almost murdered me for this chapter. XD
> 
> Beta then sat and read the entirely of the unedited work yesterday and I barely survived, so that's how I got to post this chapter today.
> 
> Thanks, beta. I'm really sorry! 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	26. 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I saw Tharn on the first day of college. He was walking out of the admin building when I was walking in. As soon as I saw him, I was bowled over. I was too intimidated to go up to him so I just stared at him walking away," he said and Type remembered that day very clearly. That's where he had met Tharn the first time in college too. He felt a little uneasy when he realised that was also the day Dinh had seen Tharn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another mandatory apology. 
> 
> Sorry for causing any stress, pain, and/or tears. 
> 
> It'll all be alright eventually.
> 
> Probably. 
> 
> Haha! Jk....   
> Jk?

The three of them settled down in their seats and Type looked at Dinh placing his hand on Tharn's. He felt fury ignite inside him once more. He wanted nothing more than to lunge at him and wring his neck in that moment. He couldn't understand why he was feeling like that. Something about the way he was behaving around Tharn just made him want to hurt him with his fists.

Tharn looked at Type staring at their hands with a crazed look in his eyes and slid his hand out from under Dinh's to place it on his thigh. Because their conversation was cut short by Dinh walking out of his bedroom earlier, Tharn knew that Type was still sceptical about him from the way he was scowling angrily at Dinh's hand on the table. He knew he had to convince him that there was nothing nefarious about Dinh. The fault laid completely on him and no one else. He needed Type to believe their relationship was real, even if he wasn't entirely convinced about it himself. "What do you want?" He asked to distract Type from his thoughts.

Type tore his gaze from Dinh's empty hand on the table and looked up at Tharn. The immediate thought that came to his mind was that he wanted Tharn to leave Dinh. He was as immediately taken aback by that thought so, to distract himself, he picked up the menu and mindlessly started flipping through the pages, not really registering what he was reading.

"I want to have something spicy," Dinh said. That caught Type's attention. "Tharn can't eat spicy food," Type immediately said before he could stop himself. Dinh stared at him, surprised, and then turned to look at Tharn. "Is that true?"

"Yeah. I can't handle spicy food. My stomach is a little sensitive," Tharn replied, feeling the familiar sense of happiness of Type saving him from consuming spicy food for the second time. "Oh, sorry. What should we order then?" Dinh asked as he moved closer to Tharn to show him the menu. Type stared at him with anger, feeling a sudden urge to lob the menu in his hand at his head for trying to cozy up to Tharn. It felt really heavy in his hand too. It would deal satisfactory damage.

Before he could actually do that, the chair next to him was pulled back, distracting him from his mission. He turned to his side to see Kemp smiling at him. His face helped him come to and he mentally thanked him for stopping him from almost taking his friend's boyfriend's head clean off. 

"Hey, guys! Sorry for being late. The traffic was a real bitch," he said as he settled down. "No worries. We haven't even ordered yet. We were just looking at the menus," Dinh said with a smile. Kemp nodded and sat down and turned to look at Type. Type smiled widely at him because he had just saved him.

Tharn stared at Type beaming at Kemp and felt uneasy. It was the same unsettling feeling he had felt when he saw Type laughing at something Kemp had said to him earlier when he was on the phone with him on the balcony. He didn't want to give in to his mind that was constantly overthinking every situation and conjuring up situations that were not even real, so he chalked up the way he was feeling to Dinh trying to hold his hand under the table. That was definitely what was making him uncomfortable. Not Kemp and Type's friendship. He looked back down at the menu, not really registering what he was reading. 

°°°

  
  


"You really want to eat fried chicken? There are so many better dishes. Just take a look at this section. Why don't you just get a baked salmon?" Dinh asked Tharn as he flipped his page to the seafood section. Type turned to look at him, the anger reigniting within him, because whatever Tharn wanted to eat was Tharn's choice. He couldn't understand why he was trying to control what Tharn wanted to order. 

"That sounds good. I'll have fried chicken too," Type said looking straight at Dinh. Tharn felt a jolt of joy at Type backing him up. He really wanted fried chicken, but due to his nature, he could easily be convinced into ordering something he didn't like. And, as proof of that trait, he was just about to give in to Dinh's suggestion. Even though the thought of baked salmon made his stomach churn. Type had just saved him once again and he couldn't help but smile at him stupidly.

Dinh knitted his brows and started chuckling. "Oh, you guys really are two peas in a pod. Fine. Both of you can eat fried chicken. What are you ordering, Kemp?" Dinh asked, turning his attention to Kemp. "I'll just have the spaghetti aglio olio," he replied. "That's more like it! The perfect kind of dish to order. Simple, but delicious," Dinh said with a smile. Type had an urge to slap him again so he just smiled and looked back down at the menu. 

"Oh, that wasn't my intention at all! It's the cheapest thing on the menu," Kemp said, immediately pulling Type out of his thoughts. He snapped his head towards Kemp and started laughing at Kemp's simple explanation, which was like a metaphorical slap to Dinh's pseudo high class face. Kemp started laughing too and Type felt even more thankful for him being there. 

Tharn just stared at the two of them and felt more and more uneasy. He didn't want to be there anymore. 

°°°

  
  


"Are you guys dating now?" Kemp asked, rolling his spaghetti. Tharn felt his heart drop. Type felt like his throat was closing up. "Yes. It's been one week and I've been the happiest I've ever been," Dinh said warmly smiling at Tharn. 

Tharn felt guilt assaulting him at his words, because he couldn't say the same for himself. He was far from happy. He was in constant stress. The rational part of his brain knew that being in a relationship with him was a bad idea because every cell in his body felt like it was rejecting that reality. But the irrational part of his brain knew that he couldn't break up with him. Especially when he was looking at him with the sincerest smile. He could see how much he meant to Dinh and he could not leave him. 

Type was seeing red at Dinh's declaration. He stared at Tharn's face to read every micro expression on it to see if he really wanted to be in a relationship with Dinh. He felt his heart drop when Tharn pulled his lips up into a small smile at Dinh. He knew that it meant Tharn was happy but the irrational part of his brain refused to accept it.

"How do you know that? You're only, what, 21? You might be happier later," Type said, settling for throwing Dinh's stupid logic out the window since he couldn't throw Dinh himself. No matter how much he wanted to at that moment. 

"Yeah. I know I will. Because I have Tharn now and he's going to make me happier everyday," he said as he turned to look at Tharn. Tharn felt his chest constrict with guilt. 

Type stared at Dinh and then down at his plate, suddenly wanting to grab the mashed potatoes in his dish to throw it at Dinh's face. He couldn't understand why he was so angry because Dinh had not said anything to allude to the fact that he was less than genuine about how he felt about Tharn. 

"That's sweet and all, but can you not say something so cheesy? I don't want to throw up the food I just spent the last of my money on," Kemp said. 

Type turned to look at Kemp and widened his eyes in surprise. He couldn't help the laughter that escaped his lips again. He knew, in the moment, that he had done the right thing by inviting Kemp. He was keeping him sane by slapping Dinh with his facetious words, the same way that he had wanted to. But Type knew that he had to hold his tongue. And his murderous intent. He didn't want to seem unsupportive of Tharn's new relationship, but he was still not entirely convinced that Dinh's intentions were entirely pure. Especially when he was already trying to control him. 

Tharn looked at the genuine mirth on Type's face and felt like there was a boulder sitting on his chest. 

"I can't help it. I've been in love with him from afar for so long. It feels like I'm dreaming every time I wake up next to him," Dinh said, smiling at Tharn. Tharn and Type both turned to look at him in utter surprise because they were both unaware about that part of the story. "What?" Tharn asked, bewildered. 

"Yeah, I've been meaning to tell you. I guess this is the right time. Your closest friend is here and his closest friend is here too," Dinh said looking at Type and Kemp. Tharn felt a tightening sensation in his chest at the implication that Kemp was also a close friend to Type, because he was not the only friend Type had. For the second time. He felt really guilty about it, but he couldn't help but feel a bout of jealousy. 

"Tharn is my oldest and closest friend. No offence, Kemp," Type said turning to Kemp. "Hey, none taken. I know how close you guys are. I'm not even in the same league," Kemp said and Type smiled at him, reassured that Kemp really was an understanding and great person. He was glad to have him as a friend. 

Tharn felt a little relieved at hearing that, the faint sensation of guilt still in his chest. "Okay, you can continue," Type said to Dinh, suddenly very curious. Dinh smiled and turned to look at Tharn. 

"I saw Tharn on the first day of college. He was walking out of the admin building when I was walking in. As soon as I saw him, I was bowled over. I was too intimidated to go up to him so I just stared at him walking away," he said and Type remembered that day very clearly. That's where he had met Tharn the first time in college too. He felt a little uneasy when he realised that was also the day Dinh had seen Tharn. He still remembered how he had been buzzing for a long time after the day he met Tharn. It was a very fond memory to him, but it felt like it was tainted forever in his mind when he realised it was the same day Dinh saw Tharn too.

"I went crazy looking for the department he was in. I literally stayed after class and milled around every department to catch a glimpse of him again. I finally saw him exiting the Computer Engineering building one day and I was so happy because one of my classmates from school was also in that department. 

I found out his name and that he was a freshman through him. I was so excited to meet him again but then my friend told me that he was dating some girl. I was heartbroken. I spent a good year and a half pining after someone who didn't even know I existed and was apparently straight. 

Till the day I saw him by chance. I thought he was straight the entire time but there he was, in a place I never expected to see him. I thanked every god in existence for having given me such a chance. I'm still so happy that I ran into you guys at that gay bar," Dinh said as he turned to look at Type. 

Type froze in place as he gaped at Dinh. He watched the realisation hit Dinh's face. Dinh widened his eyes, clamped his mouth shut with one of his hands and turned to look at Kemp in horror. 

Tharn felt his heart jumping out of his chest and scrambled to think about how to save the moment. "Type went out to that bar for me! Type's not gay," he said hurriedly, flitting his eyes from Type to Kemp. 

Type saw the look of panic in Tharn's face and realised he was trying to save him. He felt incredibly guilty for putting him in such a situation, but Dinh had already opened his big fat mouth and Kemp was a good friend of his. He decided that he wasn't going to let Tharn bear a cross that wasn't his. "We both wanted to go. Actually, I wanted to go and I took Tharn with me. I like men too," Type said, turning to Kemp. 

Kemp had an empty expression on his face which slowly turned into a smile. Tharn and Type were both confused by his reaction to such news. 

"Yeah, I guessed," Kemp said and Type widened his eyes in surprise. "What? How?" Type asked incredulously. "I wasn't sure. I just felt it somehow. You just confirmed it to me right now," Kemp said with a smile. Type just stared at him, trying to figure out how he could possibly know something like that when it took him so long to figure it out for himself. 

"Oh, thank god! I'm so sorry, I was just so lost in my story that I blurted it out without thinking," Dinh said apologetically. Type looked at him and felt the need to punch his stupid face again so he just smiled at him. "It's alright. We're good."

"So you basically stalked Tharn for a year and a half and then when you found out he liked men, you approached him, and now you're dating?" Kemp said as he summarised Dinh's story, quickly changing their topic of discussion, which surprised Type. He turned to look at Kemp in shock at how perfectly he had put it and started laughing. 

"You make it sound so unromantic. But, yeah, I guess that's sort of what happened," Dinh said with a chuckle as he snaked his arm around Tharn's. Type felt the momentary joy dissipate and anger pulsed in his veins at the sight of it. Dinh didn't sit right with him and his story made him sound like a stalker, just like Kemp had said. He couldn't understand why Tharn would date someone like him.

Tharn sat quietly through the entirety of that conversation because he was incredibly taken aback by Dinh's story and felt even guiltier for dating him. He knew that he pretty much trapped himself by agreeing to date him, because there was no possible way for him to leave him after what he had just told them. He felt like the walls were closing in on him and all he could do is accept his fate.

°°°

  
  


"Let's take a picture of us on our date," Dinh said excitedly. Tharn looked at him and smiled through the utter duress he was under. "Type! Take a picture of us," Dinh said, scooting closer to Tharn and putting his hands around his waist. 

Type balled his fists in anger, both at the request and also seeing Dinh put his hands around Tharn. "What are you waiting for? You want a better pose? Okay," Dinh said as he put his head on Tharn's shoulder making Type see red. 

"Let me. My camera is better than Type's," Kemp said and Type turned his head to face him. He mentally thanked Kemp for the fiftieth time that night because he was very close to actually wiping the floor with Dinh's stupid face.

He watched Tharn smile up at the camera and felt hot fury coursing through his body, because that was the same smile he had on his face in the picture Type had seen of them. He wanted to get out of there before he did something to Dinh. His patience was hanging by a thread. Especially when Dinh inched even closer to Tharn as he looked up at him and smiled. 

°°°

  
  


Type walked out of the restaurant with Kemp, making an excuse about some assignment they had to complete because he couldn't be in Dinh's presence next to Tharn any longer. He didn't know why he wanted to physically hurt Dinh every time he laid eyes on him. 

"So, why did you make me lie about an assignment?" Kemp asked, pulling Type out of his murderous thoughts. Type didn't know what to say to him. "I just didn't want to be there. I needed a good excuse to leave," Type said sincerely.

Kemp smiled like he understood and nodded his head. "Because you realised you like Tharn?"

Type froze and turned to look at Kemp. "What?"

Kemp's lips turned up into a small smile when he saw the expression on his face. Type  _ was  _ as blind as he had assumed all this while.

"You like Tharn."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My god, was this chapter hard to write. I thought denial would be so easy to write because I live in it constantly but, man, was I wrong...
> 
> Beta, you have so many friends now. But, please don't kill me! Thanks for bearing with me.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


	27. 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He kept his eyes glued to their figures and felt his being on fire because of the anger their closeness was igniting in him. He hated the way Dinh put his arms around Tharn's neck. He hated the way Tharn's hands found their way around Dinh's waist. He hated how Dinh put his face so close to Tharn's. He hated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mandatory apology:
> 
> I'm sorry for the hurt caused.
> 
> I'm sorry for posting late. 
> 
> I'm sorry in general.

Type stood rooted in place as he stared at Kemp.

"No! What the fuck?!?" He screamed, shocked at the conclusion Kemp had drawn. 

Kemp chuckled at Type's reaction and walked closer to him. "Yes, you do Type. You like him."

Type felt like the rug was pulled out from underneath him. He couldn't understand how Kemp had come to such a ridiculous conclusion. "No. Tharn is my closest friend. That doesn't mean I like him!"

Kemp narrowed his eyes at Type. He couldn't believe how much in denial he appeared to be. "You literally talk about him all the time."

"Yeah, because we're close friends. That doesn't mean I like him," Type said, frustrated at Kemp's reasoning. "Yes, I know. But it's different. Initially, I thought it was because you guys are close but, since I saw you spend all of your free time with him and even when you weren't with him, you only talked about him with me, which made me realise that you saw him more than a friend. Even when you were dating Nicolette, you would constantly talk about him. You hardly ever talked about her," Kemp said.

"Yeah, because we were in the same class. Tharn wasn't, so you didn't know him. That's why I talked about him more. Doesn't mean I like him like that," Type said, irritated by another stupid reasoning.

"It's not just about that. It's the way you talked about him. The way you light up when you mention his name. I have friends too, but I don't talk about them the way you talk about Tharn. You always find a way to insert Tharn in the narrative no matter what we're talking about. It's always Tharn this, Tharn that. I could see how poor Nicolette, your then  _ girlfriend, _ deflated every time you talked about him. And it really was every time," Kemp said with a chuckle and Type's brain stopped. He was sure that Kemp was just making connections that weren't even real to begin with because it was ridiculous. He knew that he didn't like Tharn like that.

"That's dumb. I just talk about him because we are close friends. I don't like him," Type said. Kemp shook his head in disbelief at his stubbornness. "It's not just that. I saw how you behaved around Dinh and Tharn. You literally looked like you wanted to physically hurt Dinh the entire time. I saw how you stared at his hand every time he would hold Tharn. I saw how you stared at your mashed potato and back up at Dinh. I knew you wanted to throw it at him. You need to accept that you don't look at Tharn solely as a friend. You like him."

Type froze for a second because Kemp did mention some things that he was thinking that were very on the nose. He quickly figured Kemp was mistaken because he was just furious at the way Dinh was treating Tharn. He was mad about how Dinh was trying to stop Tharn from ordering what he wanted and finding out about how he had also stalked him for a year and a half made him distrust him even further. He just didn't sit right with Type. That's why he knew he disliked Dinh.

"That's horse shit. I just don't like Dinh," Type said. Kemp rubbed his forehead in frustration because he couldn't find a way to get through Type's stubbornness. "Okay, fine. Think what you want to," Kemp said and started to walk away.

Type, satisfied that he had won, followed after him, but his mind was still on what Kemp had told him. 

°°°

  
  


Type browsed through Instagram to see if Dinh put up the picture from earlier. He scrolled through his feed and stopped when a picture caught his eye.

It was Nicolette's post. The picture showed a hand with a ring on it. He read the caption to see that she had gotten engaged. 

Type was surprised because they were still in the second year of college. He couldn't believe that she would want to get engaged so early. 

He decided to call and congratulate her because she did look very happy in the subsequent images she had uploaded. It had also been a few months since they last talked. He searched up her number on his phone and hit the dial button.

"Hello?"

"Type? Oh my god! It's been so long!"

"Yeah. It really has. I just saw your post on Instagram. Congratulations!"

"Hahaha! Thanks, I'm really happy."

"I'm glad. So how come you decided to get engaged so early? Are you still planning to finish college?"

"Of course I'm going to finish college! I'm in love, not a complete idiot. Even though that sounds contradictory."

"Hahahahaha! Yeah. Our first fight was based on that very statement."

"Oh, yeah! We were such idiots."

"It was literally one year back. You make it sound like decades have passed since."

"It feels like it. Look at me! I'm engaged!"

"Yeah, I guess. When you put it that way. So when is the wedding?"

"We haven't decided on it yet. Like I mentioned, I'm still in college. We just decided to get engaged now because we knew we wanted to be together."

"I'm happy to hear that. Congratulations again."

"Thank you! You tell me about you. How are you doing? How is Tharn? Are you guys dating yet?"

"Yeah, Tharn just started dating someone. How did you know?"

"What? Tharn is dating someone else?"

"Yeah. I told you what happened with Pina. He's dating someone new now. A guy from our college."

"He's dating someone who isn't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I assumed you guys would eventually start dating each other."

"Have you been talking to Kemp? He literally said the same thing to me a few hours back."

"Hahaha! I haven't talked to Kemp since I left. I'm just saying that because you like Tharn."

"What? No, I don't. I just had this conversation with Kemp. What makes you guys think that I like Tharn?"

"Did you forget that I dated you for a whole semester? I could tell by the second time we hung out with Tharn that you liked him a lot. Definitely more than a friend."

"No, I didn't! I mean, I don't. Tharn is my closest friend. He's like a brother to me."

"Oh, so you're still in denial."

"No, I'm not in denial. I don't like Tharn like that. Why are all of you misunderstanding us?"

"We're not misunderstanding anything. You're just refusing to see something that's right in front of your face. 

I wasn't going to tell you this, but I guess you leave me no choice. I knew that you had feelings for Tharn when we went to the club together."

"Pina told me about that. I was just really drunk. I know I grabbed onto him all night and tried to drag him into the cab. It doesn't mean I like him. It just means I was really drunk."

"No, it wasn't just that. You kept asking for Tharn the whole way back. When I tried to take you out of the cab, you refused to let me touch you. You kept asking me where Tharn was and that you wanted to be with Tharn. I had to convince you that Tharn was upstairs to make you even enter my apartment because you wanted to walk back to him in that state. Even once I got you into bed, you refused to let me get anywhere close to you to help you change your clothes because you kept screaming that the only person allowed to touch you was Tharn. I was so lost. I didn't even know what was happening.

You then started talking to the walls like you were having a conversation with Tharn. You mentioned something about you guys in school. You started saying something about Tharn being cute. After you rambled on for a bit, you said something that convinced me that you liked Tharn."

"What?"

"You said you loved him. You said it over and over again. 'I love you, Tharn', 'I love you so much', 'You are the only person I love'. You kept repeating it till you fell asleep and it sobered me up immediately.

I quickly understood that I was only a placeholder till you figured out your feelings for Tharn. I wanted to tell you about it the next day, but I was really scared to lose you. That's why I told you to distance yourself from him. I was scared I was going to lose you. I knew that I should have, but I wanted you to be mine. I knew that I had to leave at the end of the semester but Tharn was going to be with you forever, so I decided to date you till my time permitted. I know it was really selfish of me. I'm really sorry. 

I couldn't help myself. I was in love with you. Also, since Tharn was dating Pina, I figured I wasn't really getting in the way. Pina was truly an evil bitch. I knew that you were in love with Tharn, but I let myself get manipulated into believing her stupid excuses. I think she just wanted to have Tharn till it was convenient for her, just like I wanted to have you. I realise that puts me in the same league as Pina and I'll have to live with the guilt for the rest of my life. 

I felt terrible about what I was doing every time I saw the way you looked at him, the way you lit up when you talked to him, the way you smiled every time you were around him.

When you asked me to not break up with you before I left, I was fighting with myself to say no to you because I felt like I had kept you away from realising your feelings for Tharn for long enough. I couldn't be selfish anymore. Even though I wanted nothing but to be with you forever. But, I realised how wrong that would have been. I realised that if I truly loved you, I'd want you to be happy. And what makes you truly happy is Tharn. 

I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about this earlier Type.

You  _ are _ in love with Tharn. You need to open your eyes."

°°°

  
  
  
  


'Hey, we're going to drink tomorrow. Join us?'

Type stared at the message from Tharn for a long time. He had just gotten off the phone with Nicolette and what she had told him was making him feel like he was close to losing his mind. 

He couldn't believe what she had told him about that night at the club. He knew that Nicolette would never lie to him, but he couldn't believe that he'd say something like that in his drunken stupor. He was trying to make sense of it all. He wanted to believe that when he had said he loved Tharn, he meant it in a platonic way. Because he guessed he did. Tharn was an important part of his life. They had been through a lot together. He couldn't see his life without Tharn in it. If that meant that he loved Tharn, he guessed what he said was true. But the one thing he was sure of was that his love for Tharn wasn't fleeting, romantic love. It ran a lot deeper. Tharn was a part of him. It was a bond that could not be described in mere words. He was his brother, his best friend, his confidant all rolled into one.

That's why he knew Kemp and Nicolette were wrong. There was no way in the world that they were right. They didn't know about everything Tharn and him had been through. Their bond was just so strong that it probably came off as more than a platonic relationship to others. 

He reasoned with himself and convinced himself that was what it was. He decided that he needed to see Tharn and confirm it for himself. 

'Okay.'

'Dinh asked you to bring Kemp too.'

'Alright.

See you tomorrow.'

'See you.'

°°°

  
  


As soon as Type reached the place, he walked up to the bar and ordered two shots of vodka. He quickly downed it and waited for the rest of the people to arrive. 

He saw Kemp walking in the crowd and lifted his hand to grab his attention. As soon as Kemp saw him, he broke into a smile and walked up to him. "You're early. Eager to get drunk now that you figured out your feelings for Tharn?" Kemp asked with a smirk. 

"Shut up. There are no feelings," Type said and immediately felt his chest constrict. He ignored it and turned around to order himself another round. He quickly polished it off as Kemp stared at him wide eyed. "I'll stop asking you about Tharn. You need to slow down. You're going to get drunk before they even get here at this rate," Kemp said worriedly. 

"We're at a bar. What do you think we've come here to do?" Type asked. Kemp looked around, trying to figure out how to stop Type from drinking more, when he spotted Tharn and Dinh near the entrance. He immediately put up his hand to grab their attention and Type looked to the direction he was waving. As soon as his eyes landed on Tharn, he felt a calming wave of ease. He knew in that moment that he was worried about nothing, because all the anxiety he had been feeling dissipated as soon as his eyes fell on his friend. 

He watched as Tharn walked up to the bar and as he got close, his eyes finally fell on Dinh smiling widely at them. "Hey, guys! Have you been here long?" Dinh asked. As soon as Type's saw him, the calm he was feeling immediately turned to anger. "No, just got here too," Kemp replied. "Oh, good. Let's start with a shot!" Dinh said and leaned on the bar to get the bartender's attention. Kemp looked at his direction, worried that Type was going to be on the floor if he took more shots, and turned around to try to stop him.

"You finished your assignment?" Tharn asked Type. "Huh?"

"The assignment you had to complete yesterday. You left before dessert because you said you guys had an assignment to complete," Tharn said and Type winced mentally at forgetting about the excuse he had given Tharn to get out of the restaurant before he bathed Dinh in the dessert he had ordered for himself.

"Oh, yeah. We finished it before we came," Type lied and immediately turned to the bar to see Kemp and Dinh grabbing two shots each. He grabbed one from Kemp's hand as they moved towards an empty table where they sat and gathered together in a circle. "I can drink that for you," Kemp said, leaning to whisper in Type's ear, worried that he wasn't going to be okay if he drank more. Type shook his head to tell him he was fine. Even though he was far from it. And not because of the alcohol.

Tharn stared at them and wondered what was happening but was pulled out of it when Dinh raised his shot glass. His eyes didn't leave Type as they clinked their glasses and began their night.

°°°

  
  


Type decided to stick with beer because he was very drunk off the five shots he had started with. He sat at the table, seething at the way Dinh kept his hand on Tharn's the entire time. He argued with himself that he only felt like that because he didn't like Dinh. It wasn't because he had feelings for Tharn. He just wanted to protect Tharn from harm and he felt like Dinh was someone who could. He didn't trust Dinh at all, so he just sat and stared at them as he slowly sipped on his beer. 

"Let's dance!" Dinh said as he pulled Tharn along with him to the dancefloor. Type stiffened in his seat and stared at Tharn being towed to the middle of the crowd of swaying bodies. 

He kept his eyes glued to their figures and felt his being on fire because of the anger their closeness was igniting in him. He hated the way Dinh put his arms around Tharn's neck. He hated the way Tharn's hands found their way around Dinh's waist. He hated how Dinh put his face so close to Tharn's. He hated it. He hated everything about it. He couldn't understand why he was feeling like that but his thoughts came to a halt when he saw Dinh move his face even closer. 

He watched in horror as Dinh suddenly grabbed Tharn's head, reached up and kissed him square in the mouth.

Type's world shattered. 

He felt like the alcohol evaporated out of his system instantaneously. He finally realised what he was feeling since he laid eyes on the pair was not anger. 

It was something a lot worse. 

He was jealous.

He was jealous because the hand that was wrapped around Tharn's neck was not his.

He was jealous that the waist that Tharn held was not his.

He was jealous that the lips that Tharn was kissing were not his.

He was jealous that the person Tharn was with wasn't him.

He couldn't be there anymore, staring at what he had unconsciously wanted but consciously knew he never could have, so he got up from his seat and stormed out of the bar.

He felt like he had been hit by a truck. The revelation of his feelings for Tharn was already a lot to take in but coupled with the fact that it was brought on by witnessing him kissing his boyfriend made it so much more worse. He felt like he was being run over by the same truck over and over again. It was getting hard to breathe. The ache in his chest grew more intense with each step that he took away from the scene. It felt like he had inhaled shards of glass and now they were ripping through his throat and lungs. 

Kemp turned to see Type angrily stalking out and followed after him, very worried for Type. He saw the way his face changed when he saw Tharn and Dinh kissing.

Type walked to the curb outside the bar entrance, pounding on his chest, willing his lungs to take in air."Type! Where are you going?" Type stopped and turned to look at him. The look in his eyes scared Kemp. 

"You were right," Type said, in a whisper, as Kemp stood frozen in place.

"I like him."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks beta for rewriting parts of this chapter and for making me sound human. 
> 
> Sorry for posting this chapter late. Both my beta and I were really busy yesterday and a lot of editing had to be done for this chapter and we just didn't have the time.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	28. 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't know how to even start getting over feelings he had just found out about. He didn't even know how deep those feelings went or when they even started. He felt like an utter mess.
> 
> He was pulled out of his pity party when his phone dinged from somewhere under him. He saw it was a notification from Dinh on Instagram.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely comments on the last chapter! 
> 
> And I'm sorry for what's coming in this chapter.

Tharn pulled away from the sudden kiss that Dinh planted on him and stared at him, completely taken aback. "Why did you just do that?" He asked, absolutely panicked, which made Dinh smirk up at him. "We're dating. I'm allowed to kiss you if I want."

"Yeah, but this is not one of those places where you can do that. And we're with our friends," Tharn said as he turned to look at their table to iterate his point and his eyes widened in fear. The table was empty. Type was gone. So was Kemp. Tharn immediately forgot why he was mad and abandoned Dinh as he ran to the washroom to find them. 

As soon as he burst through the door, he darted his eyes around the urinal section and his breath caught in his throat when he didn't see them. He checked all the stalls next to discover they were empty too and felt the panic grip him tighter. 

He rushed out of the washroom nook and ran to the entrance to see if they had stepped out. As soon as he walked out the door, he saw Kemp's back. He appeared to be looking at a taxi that was pulling away. He immediately turned to look at the back window of the car to see Type's head and felt the fear and panic increase tenfold.

Tharn grabbed at Kemp's shoulder and turned him around to face him. "Why is Type leaving? Is he alright?" He asked, looking as crazed as he was feeling. Kemp felt a little scared when he saw the look on Tharn's face, just how Type's had a few moments ago. Although they had wildly different looks in their eyes, the reaction it elicited within Kemp was somehow the same. Kemp tried to search through his scrambled mind to find the right words to say to Tharn without letting on Type's realisation about his feelings, because he knew it wasn't something for him to share.

"Type was feeling a little unwell. We couldn't find you guys so I walked him out and got him a cab," Kemp said. 

Tharn immediately started walking towards a cab and Kemp panicked. Without much thought, he grabbed Tharn's arm which made him turn around and stare at him, his face marred in confusion at what Kemp was trying to do. "Where are you going?" He asked, panicking. "To Type. He's sick," he plainly replied as he turned around to walk to the cab again. 

Kemp panicked even more as he pulled him back firmly, trying to come up with a way to keep him from going after Type, because he knew that he was the last person Type wanted to see at the moment. "Type is fine. He's not that sick. He just got drunk too fast so he had a bit of a headache and the music inside was hurting his head even more, so he wanted to leave. He's fine. I wouldn't have let him go alone if he was that sick," Kemp said, trying to be as convincing as possible. 

Tharn stopped and stared at him, his words making sense to him because, to him, Kemp truly didn't look like the kind of guy who would let Type go back alone if he was feeling too ill. He nodded his head and decided to call him instead. When the call went straight to voicemail, it reignited his worry. He called Type over and over but all the calls were being directed to voicemail. He could taste the worry he was feeling on his tongue. He needed to hear from Type's mouth that he was okay. 

Kemp, realising what was happening, tried to come up with a solid excuse to stop Tharn from trying to get into a cab again. "His phone died! Just send him a text. He'll reply as soon as he charges it."

Tharn felt a little relieved to hear that, but he was still worried so he hurriedly sent him a message.

'Type, are you fine? Do you need me to come? Should I get you some medicine?'

°°°

  
  


Type stared at that message for what seemed like ages. He was so out of sorts. He didn't remember the ride to his campus nor did he remember the walk to his dorm. He remembers he was at the club, watching Tharn kissing someone else's lips, he remembers the pain shooting through his veins, he remembers his breath being knocked out of him and his whole world shattering around him. Now he's suddenly on his bed in the dorm, with his phone in his shaky hands, staring at the message he received.

Type knew that if he didn't reply to him, Tharn would find a way to barge into his dorm and he wasn't ready to see him at that moment, nor did he want Tharn to see him in his current state, so he decided to reply to him. With trembling fingers he finally managed to type out a message that would quell Tharn's worry for the night.

'I'm fine. I just felt a little sick so I had to leave.'

As soon as he sent the message, his phone dinged again. 

'Do you need me to come? I'll be there in 10 minutes.'

Type gripped his phone tighter at Tharn's reply. Part of him wanted to see Tharn, the bigger part wanted to run away.

'No, I'm fine. I just need to sleep it off. You can't abandon your boyfriend just because I got a little drunk. I'll be fine. I'm going to bed now.'

'Yes,' Type thought. His boyfriend. He has a boyfriend. A boyfriend that makes him happy.

'Okay. 

But let me know if you feel worse. I'll come and take you to the clinic immediately.'

'Please, Tharn. No,' was all Type could think at his reply. Always there for Type at the drop of a hat, so caring, so Tharn. His eyes, now swimming with tears. 

'My god, can you chill?

I just need some sleep.

Go enjoy your night.'

'Okay. Text me in the morning and tell me how you're feeling.'

He typed his reply and hit send as a lone tear finally made its way down his face.

'Okay, dad!'

'Take care, son.'

Type stared at that last message and couldn't help but chuckle wetly at how ridiculous of a situation he had found himself in as his heart ached with every beat. He realised  _ that _ was another reason he liked him so much. Tharn genuinely cared about him excessively and he liked it too much for his own good. He held his phone to his chest and curled up around it and let the tears fall.

He tried to rationalise his feelings, his thoughts and they all led to one place. Tharn. The way his heart squeezed every time he thought of him was answer enough for him. He couldn't pinpoint when it all started. He wondered if the catalyst was the night they slept with each other because he was a mess after that day. He recalled how the small memories of the night were all of him enjoying himself and begging for more. He wondered if that's when it started. He hiccuped a sob and pressed his fist against his mouth to refrain from letting any more noise out.

Then suddenly he realised that it couldn't have been then, because he remembered what Nicolette had told him. He had exclaimed that he loved Tharn the night they had gone to the club for the first time and that was in their second semester, long before he slept with Tharn. He knew that if he had professed his love for him on the night they went clubbing, it had happened a lot before he slept with him and he realised that he had been utterly blind to it the whole time. He took a broken breath at being completely unaware of his very real feelings for Tharn for so long, a sob escaping his throat along with it. 

He reached for the towel draped over his chair by the bed and furiously wiped his face with it. Realising he was getting nowhere in trying to solve the mystery of how he had begun to have feelings for him, he decided to start from the beginning to make sense of it all. He started from the first day they met. It was on the first day of college. He recalled how striking he looked to Type and how weird it had felt when someone that good looking seemed to know him. He felt a little stupid for not realising that he liked men earlier because that was the first thing he recognised in Tharn: that he was incredibly handsome and that he wanted to know who he was because of that fact.

He remembered being bowled over when he realised he was Tharn. He really couldn't believe it in that moment because Tharn had changed so much. He recalled being extremely happy to see him after all those years. He didn't know why because he had been trying to not meet people from his past then. He grabbed his aching head as he tried to delve further into his memories. Hot tears still making their way down his face. He couldn't make them stop. He wondered if he had met any of his other friends that day instead of Tharn, would he still have the same reaction? He shook his head at the possibility because he figured that he wouldn't have been as happy to have met anyone other than Tharn. He was always more special to him and he couldn't understand why. Even now. When he was sitting all alone, sobbing in the darkness.

He yanked at his hair, frustrated that he had not even gotten close to narrowing the moment he fell for Tharn down. He thought about the first two times they hung out together and felt a twinge of warmth amid the pain in his chest. He recalled how it was so easy to be around him from the first time they met, which made him crack a small smile. He recalled how shitty he felt about himself when he saw Tharn walk up to him, when he was waiting for him at the mall entrance, because he felt like he didn't match up to what Tharn had turned into. He didn't understand that part either. He wondered if that had to do with any of it because the memory of seeing him walk up to him for the first time was still fresh in his mind. 

He wondered if them being so comfortable with each other so fast is what might have triggered his feelings, with him being none the wiser, because he thought he was straight. That thought made him snort so hard he almost choked on his snot. He was glad that he had moved into a single room. Nobody needed to bear witness to him pathetically laughing and crying over his own stupidity in the middle of the night.

He thought about the mistrust he felt for Dinh and felt like an asshole when he realised that his suspicions were misplaced as hell because Dinh hadn't done anything wrong. He figured that Dinh had liked Tharn for a very long time and had just gotten a chance to start dating his longtime crush. There really was nothing wrong about that at all. He knew then that he had made up the mistrust and dislike he felt for Dinh in his own head because he was lashing out in anger, not realising the reason why. All because he didn't know that he had feelings for Tharn. He felt the palms of his hands thrum in guilt and pain at that realisation.

He then suddenly remembered Pina which made him snap his head up. Tharn and her had been dating for almost a year. They even met the first time they ever hung out together and started dating immediately. Type didn't recall being jealous of her ever…. Except when Tharn was distancing himself from him for some reason. He widened his eyes when he slowly realised Tharn had done that to make Nicolette comfortable because he was just that thoughtful which made his chest feel like it was on fire. He remembered how Tharn clung on to him at the airport once Nicolette had left and recalled how it made him break. He wondered how much of it was because of Nicolette leaving and how much of it was because Tharn embracing him after being so physically distant from him for so long.

He guessed he didn't really find anything wrong with him dating Pina because he saw Tharn as a straight man who would obviously date women. Type remembered that he, back then, was also buried very deep in the closet, so it didn't bother him to see Tharn dating a woman. 

He had been pushed out of that very closet because of accidentally sleeping with Tharn. That was a big catalyst for him to come to terms with his trauma and also realise that he had been suppressing his sexuality. He realised he came out of that denial because of Tharn. Tharn was instrumental in him finally recognising he was attracted to men, but he hadn't stopped to realise that the attraction was towards Tharn to begin with as he chuckled in misery at that realisation. He realised that the entire time, he had taken it as a sign of him finally coming to terms with his sexuality, and that thought made him feel like he was the dumbest person in the world. The way he got on the defensive when he spoke to Nicolette and Kemp about it made him feel like he had the intellectual capacity of a rock.

He figured that, even after he had come to terms with his sexuality, he didn't realise he had feelings for Tharn because he thought he looked at Tharn as a friend. Tharn was a constant in his life before and after that realisation so he didn't recognise that his feelings for him went deeper than just friendship. He slowly crept under his covers when that realisation dawned on him, bringing a sudden chill to his bones. He didn't even stop to consider if he could have feelings for Tharn. Not once. Why? Because Tharn has always been just his friend? His closest friend? 

He stared at his ceiling emptily as he finally realised that what happened at the bar earlier was triggered by the fact that he had come to terms with liking men already and seeing Tharn with Dinh, a man, for the first time is what drove him off the edge. He figured that was why he finally realised his feelings for Tharn. He knew that seeing him be with a man is what made him jolt out of his denial. The denial that was still strong when it manifested as a dislike and mistrust for Din, but he understood he was too stupid to realise that it was because he was jealous of the fact that Tharn was dating a man. A man who wasn't Type. His chest squeezed painfully at that and he had to shut his eyes to breathe through it.

After going through everything in his mind, he was more sure than ever about his feelings for Tharn. He didn't know how or when it started, but it was there. It had always been there, only he wasn't blind to it anymore. This realisation made it feel like he was being doused with ice cold water in the middle of a snow storm.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do next because he couldn't go and tell Tharn about it. Tharn was in a relationship. He knew that Tharn didn't feel the same way about him because he had never let on to him having any other feelings for him other than friendship, even after they had slept with each other inadvertently. Twice. Tharn had never treated him any differently. 

Type knew he had to deal with his feelings alone. He'd have to process all of it alone. He'd have to get over them alone. He felt really hollow at that realisation.

He knew that Tharn had no part in how he felt about him. Tharn had extended nothing but friendship to him from the first day they met each other: back in school and even when they met each other again years later. 

He didn't know how to even start getting over feelings he had just found out about. He didn't even know how deep those feelings went or when they even started. He felt like an utter mess.

He was pulled out of his pity party when his phone dinged from somewhere under him. He saw it was a notification from Dinh on Instagram.

Against his better judgement, he opened the message to see he was tagged in a story from the night on an image of Tharn and Dinh standing together at the bar they were at. He felt knives assault his chest at the sight of it because, at that exact moment, he realised that his feelings ran  _ very _ deep. 

He loved Tharn. He loved him a lot, because even seeing him standing next to another man was enough to make his eyes glaze over with fresh tears. He couldn't hold back the sobs that followed. He didn't have the strength to hold back anything anymore. He just dropped his head and cried his heart out into the towel he had been clutching the whole time.

°°°

  
  


'Type, you want to hang out on the weekend? Dinh wants you to join us too.'

'Can't. I have a project due that I need to work on over the weekend.'

'Oh, really?

Do you need help?'

'No. It's not like you'd be of any help anyways. It has to do with my course.'

'But you haven't even given me a chance to try.'

'I would but I think you're busy this weekend. You have a date with your boyfriend.'

'Yeah. I guess I do.'

'I have to go now. I need to study for a quiz. Have fun this weekend.'

'Thanks. You too.'

Type felt a heaviness inside his heart that he had never experienced in his life. It was hard to try to get over Tharn when all he wanted to do was see him, be around him; wrapped in his arms being the best option. He knew he had to be strong. He needed to reach a place where he could be around Tharn and his boyfriend without it showing in his behaviour; or his face. He knew that he would wallow in sadness on the weekend and that was not going to help anyone. He needed to get out of his little dorm room. He needed to distract himself until he could breathe without it feeling like he was inhaling broken glass at the thought of Tharn. He knew just the person to reach out to.

'You free this weekend?'

'Yeah, why?'

'Let's meet.'

'Okay….'

'See you in class.'

'Yeah, I was just going to say you could have asked me in person.'

'Shut up, Kemp.'

'Shutting up.

See you on the weekend. 

And in class tomorrow.'

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was so emotionally exhausting to write. I remember I had to take a break for a few days to recuperate. I hope that came through in the chapter.
> 
> Beta, thank you again for adding just the right things to this chapter. I was too drained to even think about it because of how many times I've read this chapter through.
> 
> On a side note: my beta and I have been really busy so the last two updates have been a little slow. We're going to take a break for a week because we won't be free to edit. We're busy now too, but we wanted to at least release one chapter before we had to go. Sorry for having to make you guys wait! I hope you enjoy this chapter. We'll be back with a bang next Sunday!


	29. 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Are you sure he doesn't feel the same way about you?" Kemp asked. Type was more than a little shocked to hear that question.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back as promised! This week has been so busy. 
> 
> And now for the mandatory apology:
> 
> I'm sorry.

"So, how come you wanted to hang out with me on a weekend?" Kemp asked, lowering the menu in his hand to look at Type curiously. "Why do you think?" Type asked, cocking an eyebrow at him in annoyance because he knew Kemp was well aware of the reason he was sitting with him.

"Is it to do with that night you stormed out of the bar?" Kemp asked. Type shifted in his seat because he had been avoiding talking to him about that in class. He didn't want to speak it into reality. He had been dealing with it fine on his own. In actuality, he had cried almost every night, but he felt he was dealing with it just fine. It was part of the process, he was almost sure. "He invited me to hang out with him and Dinh this weekend. I had to figure out a way to get out of it because, you know…." He said, trailing off.

"A simple 'yes' would have sufficed. You didn't have to give me such an explanation," Kemp said with a chuckle which made Type stare at him angrily. "Asshole."

Kemp chuckled again and leaned into the table, relaxing his face. "So, do you want to talk about it?" He asked with genuine concern reflected in his eyes. When Type caught that, he shifted his eyes around the table, not really knowing if he should. He didn't really want to discuss it, but he also knew that crying himself to sleep every night wasn't really helping either, no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he was dealing with it fine. The constant swollen eyes he sported was proof enough that he wasn't dealing with it as well as he'd hoped. He was tired of the constant ache behind his eyeballs from all the tears. But, since Kemp already knew about his impossible predicament with Tharn, he figured he would be the best person to confide in. "I can't see him," he finally said with a sigh.

"Is it because you don't want to see him with another guy?" Kemp asked and Type was taken by surprise at how he managed to get the reason behind him avoiding Tharn correctly in the first try. He suddenly felt a little bad for not paying more attention to Kemp because he hardly knew him the same way at all. "Yes," he replied in a small voice. 

"Have you thought about talking to him about it?" Kemp asked. Type felt his chest constrict at the possibility and started shaking his head. "No, I can't do that."

"Why?" Kemp asked softly. "Because he's in a relationship. Also, I don't want to fuck up our friendship," Type said truthfully. He really didn't want to lose the friendship he had with Tharn even though he was actively avoiding seeing him. He wanted that bond to remain intact. 

"But you guys are best friends. Is it a good idea to keep something like this from him?" Kemp asked which made Type panic. He hadn't kept anything from Tharn before. He had even told him about the most traumatic thing that had ever happened to him and Tharn had been instrumental in helping him get over it. He figured that's why he wanted to avoid seeing Tharn. He knew that he would feel guilty about hiding something from him but he felt like he might put their friendship in jeopardy if he came clean to Tharn about his feelings. "It's for the best. I don't want to put him in an awkward position considering he's already in a relationship."

"Are you sure he doesn't feel the same way about you?" Kemp asked. Type was more than a little shocked to hear that question. He knew for a fact that Tharn didn't feel the same way about him. He wondered why Kemp would even insinuate something like that. "I'm sure. I was very single and out about my sexuality when he started dating Dinh. If he liked me, he would have done something about it. He doesn't keep things from me. I've always been the more reserved one in our relationship," Type said, feeling really guilty.

"Have you asked him?" Kemp asked.

"No," Type said.

"Then how can you know for sure? It may appear to you that he doesn't like you but you haven't heard that from his mouth so you couldn't possibly be so absolutely sure of it," Kemp said, leaning towards him further. Type sat back and thought about what Kemp had said for a while. He was right about the fact that he never heard Tharn say he didn't like him more than a friend. He had just assumed it based on how he behaved around him. A small light of hope started to flicker inside his chest at the possibility of Tharn returning his feelings but it was quickly extinguished when he remembered Dinh. Tharn would not be dating someone else if he really liked Type. Even if he didn't confess it, he would at least have stayed single. "He doesn't like me like that. He is literally dating someone else."

"Yeah, I guess that's irrefutable," Kemp said with a small smile. Type felt his heart being crushed by the reality of it. 

"So, how have you been dealing with it since you found out?" Kemp asked, changing the topic, which should have come as a relief to Type, but it was on the contrary. Type felt like his heart was being squeezed even tighter. 

"Not great. But I guess I have to deal with it," he said with a sigh. Kemp nodded his head and looked back up at him. "So how do you plan on staying friends with him? Assuming you still want him around."

Type froze. Of course he still wanted Tharn in his life. He needed Tharn in his life like he needed oxygen in his lungs. He hadn't thought about that at all. He figured he'd just get over his feelings for Tharn and then everything would go back to normal. He hadn't thought about what would happen in the middle. He stared at Kemp helplessly. "I…. I don't know. I can't be around him till I get over him. I don't even know how long that's going to take but I'm sure that I want him in my life."

"So are you just going to avoid seeing him till then? What if it takes too long? Will he still wait for you?" Kemp asked and Type felt like the earth shook underneath him. "Do you think our friendship is doomed?" He asked, frightened to lose Tharn altogether. Kemp realised he had inadvertently veered into a topic that was way too sensitive and shook his head reassuringly. "No, that's not what I meant. I just mean, you need to still find a way to maintain a friendship with him. If you can't see him face to face, at least talk to him on the phone or text him occasionally. Don't cut off all modes of communication."

Type nodded his head because Kemp made a lot of sense. He was glad he chose to talk to him because Kemp's perspective of it seemed plausible. He figured Kemp could solve his problem without emotions swaying him because he was in the position to be objective. He could give him logical solutions to his predicament. "Okay. That's a good idea."

Kemp smiled at Type and looked back down at the forgotten menu. Type felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and smiled at him. He felt happy to have him as a friend and a little guilty for not getting to know him better sooner. He had just been so caught up with Tharn that he hadn't given his friendship with Kemp a chance to grow. 

"I'm really sorry for dumping all this on you. And I'm sorry for not being a better friend," Type said sincerely. It made him cringe to be so vulnerable but he had no other choice. Kemp had been nothing but kind to him even though Type never thought about him outside of class. 

Kemp smiled up at Type. "You have never been a bad friend to me. You also don't have to apologise. I'm just glad I can be there for you," Kemp said. Type felt guiltier and decided he was going to make sure he hung out with him more often, ask him more questions, get to know him better. He figured it wouldn't be difficult because they'd be hanging out a lot more with him trying to avoid Tharn which left his weekends wide open for that very purpose.

"We've been sitting with the menus for over half an hour. The wait staff has been eying our table like hawks. Let's order something already," Kemp said, effectively pulling Type out of his musings. Type turned to spot a waitress looking at them from the counter with a scowl on her face and started to chuckle. 

°°°

  
  


'Type!

Let's go for a movie on Saturday.

Dinh wants to go see some weird French film and I can't sit through it without making fun of it. 

I need a friend for moral support because I can't Google the plot and tell him I loved it this time.'

'Can't.

I have a presentation to finish for Monday.'

'That's going to take you all weekend?

You can come out for a few hours and watch a movie.

Please!'

'It's a big presentation.

It's going to be counted against my grade for the year so I really can't half ass it.

Sorry.'

'Oh, okay. 

If the movie is terrible, I'll make you watch it with me twice for leaving me alone.'

'Hahaha!

Deal.'

'You can't back out next time!

If you tell me you have an assignment next weekend, I swear I'm going to make you sit in front of me and complete it. 

I haven't seen you for 3 weeks already.'

'I know.

This semester has just been really hectic.

I'll make it up to you next semester.'

'I'll hold you to that.'

'Have fun this weekend.

I'm sure that movie is going to tickle your baguette.'

'I doubt it.

Good luck on your presentation.'

'Thanks.'

'See you the next weekend then.'

'Alright.'

Type put his phone down and rubbed his face in defeat. Fucking feelings.

°°°

  
  


"You have to help me," Type cried from across the table, staring at Kemp with pleading eyes, which made him chuckle. "Help you how?"

"I'm running out of excuses to make. Tharn is relentless. I have made up a presentation, a quiz, an assignment. I don't know what else to say to him," Type said, with his head in his hands. "You've avoided him for almost a month now. I think you should see him at least once," Kemp said.

"But I can't! I told you that I need to get over him before I can be around him. And I'm clearly not!" Type exclaimed frustratedly. "He's going to start suspecting something is wrong if you go from hanging out with him every weekend to not seeing him at all for a whole month," Kemp said which made Type widen his eyes in surprise because he hadn't thought that far. It  _ was  _ going to look suspicious if he didn't meet him for such a long time when he practically lived with Tharn on the weekends. 

"Oh, my god! You're right!" Type said loudly. He tried to think of how he could possibly see Tharn when all he had been doing was pining for him for weeks on end. He was afraid he would word vomit the moment he saw him and tell him that he liked him. That thought immediately scared him shitless because that was exactly what he was trying to keep from happening. He felt completely lost.

He suddenly remembered something and it made him slam his hands on the table, startling Kemp. "I have gone without seeing Tharn for a month before! It's not weird. He's not going to suspect anything," Type said with a crazed smile, scaring Kemp. "When was that?"

"Back when I started dating Nicolette. I didn't see him for an entire month because I was always away on the weekends. So it's nothing new," Type said with a victorious smile. Kemp narrowed his eyes and scoffed at how preposterously dumb Type's declaration was. "That's because you were dating Nicolette. And also, you were out of Bangkok so there was no way you could see him. Right now, you are completely single and literally in the same zip code. You've dragged me out every weekend because of how bored and jobless you are because you've been trying to avoid Tharn," Kemp said with a chuckle. 

Type quickly realised that Kemp was right. Back when he was dating Nicolette, he  _ did _ have a solid reason for not being able to see Tharn for a month. 

He really missed Tharn. He wanted nothing but to run to him right then but he knew that was a very bad idea. This burning need to see him also meant that he wasn't ready at all.

"I can't see him. What do I do?" Type asked as he looked at Kemp again. He figured Kemp could come up with a good excuse because he had helped him negate a lot of problems with his feelings for Tharn. Kemp had even figured out that he had feelings for Tharn before Type himself. Type knew that Kemp was the best person to help him out of the impossible situation he was in.

Kemp contemplated for a bit as Type stared at him, patiently awaiting his idea. After a long moment of Kemp scratching his head, he finally looked up at Type. "You need to give him a solid excuse if you don't want to be around him because he's going to get really suspicious."

Type sighed in frustration at him stating the obvious when he had been expecting him to give him something good. "Yeah, we already went through that. What can that excuse possibly be?" Type asked impatiently.

"The last time Tharn let you be for a month was because you were dating someone…." Kemp said in the air, not really addressing Type, as Type stared at Kemp, waiting for what he will say next. ".... so maybe you can tell him you're dating somebody. That's why you can't meet him," Kemp said as he brought his gaze back to Type. 

Type slapped his forehead in frustration because he realised he was giving Kemp too much credit just because he had one good suggestion that one time. He wasn't even in the headspace to look at anyone else because all of it was taken up by stupid-caring-handsome-perfect Tharn, so he was trying to understand how Kemp thought he could lie to Tharn about dating somebody. "Kemp, what the fuck, man? You're asking me to lie to him? Do you think that's the best idea?" Type asked frustratedly.

"I'm not asking you to lie to him," Kemp said with a smile, which confused Type. He wondered if he meant he was going to find him a fake girlfriend. He figured that was going to be pretty much on the same vein as lying so he shook his head. "Are you asking me to find a fake date?" Type asked, cocking his head to one side.

"No," Kemp said and gave him a close lipped smile. Type was frustrated with Kemp's stupid suggestion because how was he supposed to be in a relationship with someone else in one week when he couldn't even go a second without thinking of Tharn? 

"What in the ever living fuck do you mean?" Type asked in abject confusion and frustration.

"Tell him you're dating me," Kemp said and Type widened his eyes at the suggestion. He saw the merits of such an excuse because Tharn already knew that Kemp and him were friends so it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility for him to believe they were dating, but he knew it would still be a lie at the end of the day. He didn't want to lie to Tharn, while also using his close friend as a part of that ruse.

"No, Kemp. What the fuck? I don't want to lie to him. I already told you that," Type said as he shook his head.

Kemp leaned further on the table and gently held Type's hand which made Type stare at their hands and then back up at him. 

"I'm not telling you to lie to him," he said sincerely. 

"I'm asking you to date me."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My beta worked real hard to edit this. I'm so grateful! 
> 
> Thank you for being so patient with my lack of basic knowledge of grammar, beta. I'm sorry.
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


	30. 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tharn scanned the room and as soon as his eyes fell on the figure of Type, he broke into the biggest grin. He was happy to see his friend after what seemed like a lifetime. He had really missed him.
> 
> "Type!" Tharn said as he walked up to the table, not even glancing at his company.

Type stared aghast at Kemp and then back at his hand resting on top of his own back and forth a few times. He finally had enough sense to pull his hand away from underneath Kemp's as he stared up at him with his mouth agape. There were so many questions swirling in his brain but he couldn't form them through words because of how shocked he was at that moment.

"What?!"

Kemp smiled and looked down at the table as Type felt his body slowly go cold. Kemp looked back up at him and his smile slowly faded away to be replaced by a sincere look in his eyes. "I want you to date me."

Type felt his knees turning into jelly. And not in a good way. He needed Kemp to be joking for his own sanity. "You're kidding right?" He asked with a pained laugh, trying but failing to hide the panic in his tone. Kemp smiled and shook his head. "I mean it. I want to date you."

Type couldn't understand what was happening because his mind was already scrambled with the shit he was going through and with Kemp piling onto his current problems was making his mind come to a screeching halt. "Why?" He asked wide eyed. 

"Because I like you," Kemp said sincerely. Type winced at the uncomfortable feeling his reply suddenly elicited within him. "What? Why?"

Kemp chuckled at his question and looked at Type again. "What kind of question is that? I just like you, that's all."

Type couldn't begin to form a single thought that would explain how they had reached the point they were at currently because he always assumed Kemp was straight. "You like men?" He asked stupidly as he stared at Kemp in disbelief. Kemp laughed and ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "Yeah."

Type felt his world stop for a second at Kemp's confirmation because he would have never pegged him to be gay in his entire life. Nothing about him gave off the slightest hint that he was into men. "Since when have you liked me?" Type asked, suddenly curious, given he couldn't really think of anything else right then.

"Since the day I walked into class and saw you. I mentally celebrated to see that the only empty seat in the class was next to you," he said with a smile. Type was thrown for a loop at that revelation because, not only had he not been aware of his friends sexual orientation, but he also hadn't known that he had liked him for almost two years. 

"What the fuck? Why are you telling me this now?" Type asked, staring back up at him. Kemp slowly lost his smile and his expression became more solemn. "Because if I don't tell you now, I'll never find the courage to say it." 

Type stared at him in bewilderment because he never expected something like this from Kemp. "Okay, but how do you like  _ me _ ?" He asked, still trying to wrap his head around the situation. He couldn't understand that even if Kemp was gay or bi, he wasn't exactly sure, how could he like  _ him _ of all people?

Kemp smiled again as he looked back at Type. "I have liked you for so long that I don't even know how to answer that question. I just remember asking you to hang out with me outside of class so I could get to know you better but you were always busy. You only ever wanted to hang out with Tharn, so I guessed you might have liked him because you talked about him a lot. I felt a little heartbroken because of that so I stopped asking you altogether.

Then when you started dating Nicolette, I figured you might have been straight and I was trying to bark up the wrong tree and felt really stupid. But then you still continued to talk about Tharn the same way and I doubted if you were aware of your own sexuality.

When you finally broke up with Nicolette, I really wanted to tell you that I liked you but I never had the chance because you were constantly with Tharn. You even spent a whole month with him which made me lose the confidence to tell you because I assumed you guys might start dating."

That sent a needle deep into Type's fragile heart.

Kemp continued, "The day you invited me to go bowling with you, I was so happy. I felt like I could finally get somewhere with you, but you practically ran away after we finished our meal and I was really sad."

Hearing that made Type feel more guilty than ever.

"When you asked me to hang out with you and Tharn for lunch, I was in the process of trying to get over you, but Dinh dropped the bomb on me when we had gone drinking that you were very much into men and I was ecstatic. It confirmed to me that my doubts about your sexuality were right. 

That joy didn't last because I saw the way you behaved around Tharn for the first time. I always had my doubts but I was sure of it when I saw it with my own eyes that you had feelings for him so I didn't know if you were keeping it a secret or you were just in denial. I was happy that Tharn was dating someone else because that meant that, even if you liked him, he didn't share those feelings.

But I saw the way that your denial was hurting you so I figured the best thing to do in that case was to tell you something you had been refusing to acknowledge. That's why I told you that you liked Tharn."

Kemp continued in a small voice, "You confirmed it to me that night you saw Tharn and Dinh kissing. I felt like my world shattered because if you had that realisation, it meant that I had no chance with you.

But then something happened. You started hanging out with me more. Every weekend for the last month. Hanging out with you and seeing how easy it was for us to get along, even though we've mostly been talking about your problem with Tharn, made me realise that I had to tell you." 

Kemp took a deep breath and declared with his whole chest, "So this is me telling you.

I like you and I want you to date me."

Type sat frozen in his seat. He didn't know what to say. The guy he thought he knew for two years was a completely different person from the one sat in front of him. He felt more guilt pressing on his chest.

"Kemp, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't see that you liked me for so long and I'm sorry because I don't feel the same way. I only see you as a friend," Type said, truthfully. He knew how hard it must have been for Kemp to confess to him, but he figured Kemp deserved his honesty.

"I know, Type. I know all about it. I just want you to give me a chance," Kemp said with a small smile. "But I don't want to hurt you more than I already have. I don't have those kinds of feelings for you," Type said, feeling apologetic.

"I don't really care if you hurt me, Type. I just want you to date me. This way, you can have a solid reason to not meet Tharn and I get the chance to date you," Kemp said which made Type feel guiltier because the thought of having a good excuse to avoid Tharn tempted him to say yes to Kemp for a split second. He shook his head and looked at Kemp. "I can't do that, Kemp."

"But why? What do you have to lose?" Kemp asked. "I can't do it."

"Why can't you?" He asked again. "Because I don't like you like that."

"And I'm okay with that. What else?" He asked as he stared at Type with fire in his eyes. "I will hurt you."

"I doubt it. If you agree to date me, you'll make me the happiest person ever," Kemp said with a sincere smile. Type shrank in his seat because he knew he didn't want to do this. "Kemp…."

"Just say yes, Type. You have nothing to lose. Maybe I can help you get over Tharn," Kemp said as he interrupted another one of Type's excuses. Type snapped his head up to look at Kemp because that was something he wanted. Getting over Tharn has been his sole focus for a month and he was getting nowhere on his own. Kemp's words felt like he had been offered a hand that could possibly pull him out of the pit of agony he was currently drowning in.

"Stop thinking. I'm going to be fine. You're going to be fine. We'll do it together. It's just dating. You don't have to take it so seriously," Kemp said with a chuckle. Hearing that eased Type's mind a little but he still felt a little hesitant. 

"Just say yes," Kemp asked again. Type stared up at him unsurely and figured there really was nothing to lose. Kemp was right after all, it was just dating. It wasn't like they were going to be in a serious relationship from the get go. 

He slowly nodded despite his better judgement, which he was incapable of in that situation anyways, to say yes to his proposal and Kemp's face lit up. He reached for Type's hand again and squeezed it reassuringly. Type felt a little lump of ice in his chest, quickly chalking it up to the nerves he was feeling at the prospect of trying to get over Tharn. 

"So, you want to meet Tharn this weekend?" Kemp asked. Type looked at him wide eyed at the excitement that brought to him and immediately felt guilty because he remembered he was dating Kemp now. "No, not really."

"You said you want to keep your friendship with him. You need to see him. It's been a long time. You can't just avoid him your whole life. Don't worry, I'll be there. I said I was going to help you get over him and I will do just that," Kemp said reassuringly. Type, trusting Kemp's words, nodded his head in agreement. 

°°°

  
  
  


'We're going to the bar this weekend. 

You're coming. 

No excuses.'

'Okay.'

'Wow! Really?'

'Yeah, I'm free.

Can I bring Kemp?'

'We're going to that gay bar.

Do you think he'd be comfortable with that?

Or should we go somewhere else?'

'No, it's not an issue.

Kemp is fine with it.'

'Oh, really?

Okay then.

See you Friday.'

'See you'

Type sighed audibly, as he tried to mentally prepare himself for seeing Tharn. He was going to give it his all and he had Kemp now, that made him feel a little relieved. He dialled Kemp's number and stared at the empty wall in his dorm as he waited for him to answer. 

°°°

  
  


"You're going to be fine. Trust me. I'm here, okay?" Kemp said as he soothed Type's arm, who was nervously shaking his legs under the table at the anticipation of seeing Tharn after three agonizing weeks. He didn't know what to expect and that made him all the more nervous. He sighed and nodded his head as he gave him a small smile. "They're here," Kemp said with his eyes glued at the entrance. Type immediately turned to look behind him and felt his heart fall out of his ass at the sight of Dinh holding on to Tharn's arm. He knew how this evening would pass for him, abject agony, he let out a sigh in resignation.

Tharn scanned the room and as soon as his eyes fell on the figure of Type, he broke into the biggest grin. He was happy to see his friend after what seemed like a lifetime. He had really missed him.

"Type!" Tharn said as he walked up to the table, not even glancing at his company. "And Kemp," Dinh said as he looked at Tharn with a smile. Tharn immediately felt a little guilty for not even acknowledging Kemp so he threw a small wave at his direction. Kemp chuckled and gestured for them to take a seat. 

Type's heart felt like it was about to burst because of the happiness he was feeling at seeing Tharn again and his chest constricted at the fact that his feelings for him would always stay unrequited. 

"How have you been? I feel like I haven't seen you for a year," Tharn said as he brought a hand up to Type's shoulder. Type visibly tensed at the contact because of how good it felt to be touched by Tharn. He knew immediately that getting over him was going to take painfully longer than he had innocently imagined. Tharn stared at Type in confusion at the look on his face as he lowered his hand. 

Kemp, realising that Type was frozen in place, brought his hand up to circle his shoulder and smiled at Tharn. Tharn stared at the hand that was tightly wrapped around Type's shoulder and how Type didn't react to it like he had when he touched him and furrowed his brows in confusion. "We were swamped with assignments, quizzes and presentations for weeks. Type can't even find words in his head because he used them all up," Kemp said with a chuckle. 

Type felt relief washing over him because Kemp saved him. He felt a little glad for agreeing to date him. He was right, he was helping him out of his situation with Tharn. "Yeah, what he said," Type said with a sheepish smile.

Tharn felt uncomfortable at the sight of how close he seemed to Kemp. He wondered if they had hung out together the whole time he hadn't seen him and if that could be the reason why they seemed so pally. 

"You don't have to worry about that, Type. We're here to drink and make merry. Let's start with the drinking part," Dinh said and Kemp nodded in agreement. Type felt a twinge in his chest at how he had been treating Dinh because of his repressed feelings for Tharn so he genuinely smiled at him for the first time. 

"Shall we start with shots?" Dinh asked and Kemp immediately stood up from his seat, worried that Type would be a mess if he got drunk that fast. He recalled how Type had a meltdown the last time he got that drunk and the time before that, he had to pry him off Tharn because he refused to let go of him. It was a harrowing hour of tug-of-war which had proven an even more difficult task given that they were all drunk. He realised everyone was staring at him because of his sudden action and he chuckled nervously. "Let's just start with some beers," Kemp suggested. 

Type and Tharn nodded enthusiastically in agreement with his suggestion, which made Dinh pout. "Boo! You guys are so boring."

Kemp chuckled and waved his hand to get the attention of a server. 

°°°

  
  


"So, how come you're okay with coming here? You know that this is a gay bar, right?" Dinh asked, swaying in his seat a little because he had had a few shots by that point. Type shifted in his seat and Kemp caught on to the fact that he was feeling uncomfortable so he put his arm around Type's seat, holding onto the backrest. Tharn stared at Kemp's change in posture. "Yeah. I know. I'm okay with it…." He said as he looked at Type, who looked unsure about where Kemp was going, ".... I share a similar interest with the people here after all," he said with a playful grin, completing his thought. 

Tharn and Dinh snapped their heads in his direction at the sudden declaration. "Wait! What? Really? I would have never guessed!" Dinh said with a chuckle. Type felt a little relieved at that because he wasn't the only one who was surprised to hear about Kemp's orientation. He had assumed he just had a bad gaydar because of how long he had repressed his sexuality, but Dinh and Tharn's surprise confirmed to him that Kemp was just hard to read. 

Tharn was wholly taken aback by the declaration. His eyes landed back on Kemp's arm that was wrapped around Type's chair and felt a little more uncomfortable after having taken in that new piece of information. 

"So are you dating anyone? I have friends who would kill to date someone like you. They really love this whole ambiguous vibe you've going for you," Dinh said waving his hand in front of Kemp. 

Kemp started chuckling as he brought his hand around Type's chair closer to his back as he leaned into the table, but still grabbing on to the backrest. The sudden feeling of the inside of Kemp's arm on his back made Type freeze and stare at him. 

Tharn caught the movement of Kemp's hand that was now on Type's back and felt something was really off.

"I'm sorry. I'm already seeing someone," Kemp said as he retracted his arm from the backrest. He brought that hand in front and grabbed Type's hand under the table and squeezed it reassuringly, telling him that he wasn't going to reveal their situation to Tharn and Dinh. Type felt his body relax at that but he knew he couldn't keep it a secret forever. He had already kept a secret from Tharn and he wasn't going to pile on more secrets because the weight of it would most definitely crush him eventually. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. 

"What? Really? How scandalous! Who is the lucky guy?" Dinh asked as he narrowed his eyes curiously. 

"I can't tel…."

"Me. He's dating me. Kemp and I are dating," Type said, cutting Kemp off, which took him by surprise. He didn't think Type would have the courage to tell Tharn so blatantly. 

Dinh broke into a grin and started to laugh. "Oh my god! What are the chances? It's like we're living out a BL plot!"

Type broke into a nervous chuckle at how accurately Dinh had put it and he smiled up at Kemp as he shakily squeezed his hand back under the table. Kemp smiled back at him and Type felt a little reassured. 

Type was afraid to look at Tharn's reaction. He didn't want to see hesitation in his eyes because it would give him hope. But the thing he feared the most was seeing indifference in them because that would crush him completely so he kept his eyes on Dinh.

Tharn sat frozen in his seat as he stared at Type smiling at Dinh. His world seemed to freeze right along with him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bitch to edit. That's why the delay. 
> 
> Beta would like to apologise in case of any mistakes because they were very drunk while editing it. Haha!
> 
> Thank you for the range of comments on the previous chapter! Really made me day to read them all. But, before you go hating on Kemp, as beta once mentioned, at least he's brave enough to shoot his shot. Unlike some other people in this fic. XD


	31. 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to add this in the previous chapter so:
> 
> Many apologies.

Type got out of meeting Tharn the next few weeks by making the excuse of his dates with Kemp. It wasn't even a complete lie because he had been trying to give dating Kemp a chance when he saw how supportive and understanding he was of his situation. He had indeed hung out with him over the weekends. He wouldn't go so far as to call them dates, because it just felt like they were chilling together, like they had been for a month prior to them officially dating. 

Type still felt a little guilty about not having even a little bit of a change in his feelings for him but Kemp had reassured him that he was fine and ready to wait. Even with that reassurance, the guilt was still ever present in Type. 

°°°

  
  


Type sat at his desk on a Wednesday afternoon, trying to come up with the perfect excuse to give Tharn when he texted him because he always texted him on Wednesdays to ask him to hang out on the weekend. It had been their ritual since the beginning of college.

The last time he had told Tharn that Kemp and him were going on a date to a theme park, when in actuality, they just played video-games in his house. He was a little scared of how good he was getting at lying to Tharn. Especially when Tharn didn't even question him. He never even pushed. He had been drowning in a pool of guilt because of it, but he saw no other way out. He stared at the cork board in front of his study desk, knowing he had to come up with something different this time. Something that sounded real. He searched his brain for an excuse and came up with a genius one after a moment of contemplation.

He decided he was going to tell Tharn that Kemp was taking him out for a dinner date. He figured it would be more impactful if he said that it was a romantic dinner date, but even the thought of forming those words with his mouth made him cringe. That, in turn, made him feel guilty again because Kemp had been nothing but patient with him and even calling their date romantic made Type's hackles rise in rejection of the notion. 

He sat staring at his phone and checked the time to see it was 9 PM. He knew a text would come any minute so he kept his phone unlocked as he continued to gaze at his screen. 

He watched the minutes pass as he woke his phone up every time it went to sleep. At the 9:10 PM mark, he changed the settings on his phone to remove the automatic sleep feature. He stared at his phone unblinkingly again. He started to get a little agitated at the 9:20 PM mark and checked to see if his messaging app and internet connectivity were working okay to find nothing out of place. 

He sighed and placed the phone down on the table with the screen on as he decided to stop procrastinating and finish an assignment till Tharn texted him. He figured being productive would at least keep him distracted from staring down at his screen every few seconds. 

He glanced at the phone at every minute mark to see that he had no messages so he decided to put his ringer at the maximum volume so he doesn't miss Tharn's message and went back to his assignment. He figured Tharn would eventually text him and staring at the phone over and over again wasn't letting him concentrate on his actual assignment. 

He sat clacking away at his laptop and cracked his knuckles when he finished the assignment. He was quite surprised how fast he got through it and he stared back at his phone to see if Tharn had messaged him only to be met by an empty notification bar. His eyes finally fell on the time and he was audibly surprised as he leaned back to see that it was already 2 AM. He opened his messaging app again to see if it was glitching and found nothing wrong with it again.

He had an urge to text Tharn first to ask if he was okay because this was really out of character for him. For the almost two years that they've known each other, he'd always get a text from Tharn on Wednesdays and this was the first Wednesday where he hadn't heard a thing from him. 

He opened Tharn's chat box and started typing out a message but he stopped himself once he had typed out the first two words. He knew he had to refrain himself from texting Tharn because it would mean that he would put himself in the exact situation he didn't want to be in. Tharn would definitely ask him to hang out with him.

Type sighed and locked his phone. He turned off his laptop and headed to bed, extremely tired from finishing a whole assignment that was due next month in one sitting. He felt like he would fall asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but the thought of Tharn not sending him a single text was nagging him in the back of his mind. He reached for his phone one last time to check if he had a message to see that there were no notifications. He locked his phone and put it away again as he closed his eyes to try to sleep. 

But sleep evaded him the whole night as he watched his room slowly being bathed in the early light of the orange sun rays, unblinkingly staring at his empty phone screen.

°°°

  
  


Type was still feeling uneasy on Saturday, as he sat across the table from Kemp at a restaurant. He hadn't slept well for three days and felt his vision faltering as he looked down at the menu. He was really bothered by the fact that Tharn had not texted him at all the whole week. He wondered if he should have just texted Tharn instead of waiting for a text from him.

"What do you want to eat?" Kemp asked to break Type from his thoughts. Type looked at him and saw the smile on his face which made him feel really guilty because he was on a 'date' with him but his mind was on Tharn. He quickly scanned the menu for the first thing he could see. "French fries."

"What? Just french fries? You don't want something more filling?" Kemp asked, a little surprised. Type felt like he should have paid more attention because his unthought out response easily gave away that he wasn't fully present at that moment. "Sorry. I wasn't paying attention," he said sheepishly. Kemp almost immediately understood what he meant and gave him a reassuring smile. "It's okay. Take your time." 

Type gave him a small, apologetic smile and stared down at the menu again as his vision blurred once more when his mind went back to thinking about Tharn. "You're spacing out again. You can tell me if something is bothering you, you know," Kemp said, making Type suddenly stare up at him. He felt a stab of discomfort assault his innards. "I'm sorry. It's nothing," Type said as he looked back down at his menu, willing himself to actually read what was on it this time around. 

"Is it Tharn again?" Kemp asked. Type snapped his head up to look at Kemp and saw he had a small knowing smile on his face and the knife in his body twisted a little more. He couldn't believe that Kemp was so understanding and ready to talk about Tharn without flinching once. Type figured that, if he were in a similar situation with someone he was dating, he would probably not handle it so well and take it in stride like Kemp was doing. He felt like he owed Kemp the truth for that reason alone as he sighed. "Yeah. He didn't text me last week."

"What? Really?" Kemp asked, surprised. Type knew in the moment that it was really weird that Tharn didn't text him and not just him being hypersensitive to the fact because of his feelings for him when he saw Kemp's reaction to that news. "Yeah. He always texts me to ask about hanging out every week without fail. Even when I was not free when I started dating Nicolette. He'd at least ask. It feels weird to not text him for a whole week," Type said, feeling a little dejected. 

"Yeah, it is weird. Do you think he's feeling a little left out because you've been making excuses not to see him for weeks now?" Kemp asked. Type furrowed his brows as he gave that a thought. He felt really guilty about if that was the reason why. He never wanted Tharn to feel like that. He wondered why his reaction was so different this time because he was dating someone now, much like he was when he was with Nicolette. That never stopped Tharn from at least texting him every week. "I don't know. It makes no sense. Do you think he really feels like that?"

"I don't know. I'm just guessing. Why don't you ask him?" Kemp suggested which made Type's blood run cold. He really didn't want to broach that topic with Tharn. He also didn't want to be the first person to text him. Tharn had always been the one to take the initiative and Type had somehow settled into that familiar rhythm. The thought of approaching Tharn first, especially with his newly discovered feelings for him making him all loopy, didn't sound like a pleasant idea to Type at all. "I don't know. I don't know if I even want to know," he said honestly which made Kemp chuckle. 

"I thought you wanted to save your friendship with him. How are you going to do that if you cower at the thought of sending him a simple text?" Kemp asked with a smile. Type looked at him for a while, seeing Kemp in a different light. He was a literal saint. It didn't seem to bother him to talk about Type's obvious problems he was facing with someone he had feelings for and still wanted to keep in his life. He realised that he needed to really give Kemp the chance he deserved and smiled back at him. "I'll think about it later. Let's forget about that now and concentrate on our date," Type said which made Kemp break into a happy grin. Type, for the first time, felt like he was concentrating in fully investing in Kemp and it made him feel like less of the horrible person he had been feeling like for weeks. 

°°°

  
  


Type stood at the lobby of the main academic building with his phone in his hand. It was Tuesday and he knew that the next day was the day Tharn would text him. Or, rather, may text him. It had been over a week since they had talked and Type was feeling really uneasy about not being in contact with him for so long. This time was different because when he had his melt down after they slept together for the first time, he had a solid reason to not talk to Tharn, but they really had no issue they were tackling at the moment. At least not on Tharn's part because Type was the one battling his feelings for Tharn. But Tharn didn't know about that and Type was utterly confused as to why Tharn didn't even try to contact him. 

He opened up Tharn's chat box and stared at their last conversation from two weeks ago, feeling like his chest was being compressed by the words that stared back at him. He didn't know how to even start. He wondered if he should just wait till the next day and see if Tharn texts him first because the thought of texting Tharn first was scaring him shitless. 

"Type!"

Type looked up from his phone screen at the direction the voice came from to see it was Kemp. He was standing at the entrance of the lobby and smiling at him. He felt relief pour into him at the sight before his eyes because he had once again saved him from his mental plight. He knew he could talk it out with him and everything would be alright. Kemp always made everything alright. 

He smiled back at him as Kemp made his way to him, his smile getting brighter the closer he got. Type's mind already felt a little at ease so he grinned back at him as brightly. He was really happy he chose to date Kemp. He was not only selflessly helping Type out of his situation, but also was the nicest and most understanding boyfriend one could ask for. He decided to give Kemp a real chance at that moment. 

"Why were you frowning at your phone so hard?" Kemp asked amusedly. Type brought his hand up to his nape, a little embarrassed. "I was about to text Tharn but I froze. I didn't know what to say," Type replied, which made Kemp start to chuckle and Type stared at him, confused at his reaction. "How about you start with 'hi'?" Kemp suggested with a playful smile. 

Type playfully pushed a fist on his shoulder, mostly feeling embarrassed about how right Kemp was. He was just making up the simple act of texting his closest friend to be something more complicated and daunting than it was and felt a little silly. He knew that he still had a long way to go to get over his feelings for him but, for the first time, seeing Kemp chuckling at his stupidity, Type felt like he was going to make it through. With Kemp. 

"I'll text him later. You want to grab something to eat first?" He asked, which made Kemp stop chucking and look at Type, a little taken aback. "Are you asking me out on a date?" He asked, genuinely surprised.

Type chortled at the look on his face and nodded. "Yes, I'm asking you on a date. You know, as your boyfriend and all," Type said with a small smile. Kemp's eyes lit up as he smiled from ear to ear as he nodded his head in agreement. Type felt his previous reservations slowly drift away as he looked at the smiling man in front of him. His boyfriend. His Kemp. He ignored the uncomfortable twinge in his stomach at that thought as they walked out of the building.

°°°

  
  


'Hey! You want to hang out on the weekend?'

'Can't do. I'm going home this weekend.'

'What? Is everything alright? No one is sick, right?'

'Hahaha!

What?'

'You're going home on a weekend.

You never go home on a weekend.

It's not farfetched for me to assume that it might be because of something serious.'

'It is for something serious.'

'Really?

Are your parents okay?

Your siblings?

Your dog?'

'They're fine, Type. 

I'm going home for exam prep. 

I can't be bothered to cook, clean and also study at the same time. 

I have some difficult subjects this time. I'm going home so I can concentrate on studying.'

'Oh, okay.

You're making me feel like a bad student who wants to hang out two weeks out from finals.'

'That's because you are.'

'Excuse me?

I'm literally 2nd in class.'

'Yeah, that just means you're good at studying. Doesn't mean you're a good student.'

'Touché'

'I have to go back to my books now.

All the best for the finals.'

'Yeah.

You too.

See you'

Type locked his phone, feeling really uneasy. What Tharn said made perfect sense but it just didn't sit right with him. He figured it was just because of the fact that he wouldn't see Tharn for a long time and also the looming stress for the finals that had just slapped him in the face as he tossed his phone on his bed. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling, mind racing, his chest drumming with a dull ache, and his eyes empty. He missed Tharn. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to explain the character motivations and why the events that happen in this work in the way I've written it at the end, but there were some comments that questioned Kemp's intentions and actions in the last two chapters. 
> 
> I guess, without giving away too much, I can just say that none of the characters I've made up for this work are perfect. They are not going to behave in a completely upstanding way because, no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't stop write in flaws in every character's personality. It also matters that the characters I'm writing about are in their 19s-20s. They are not even adults yet. They haven't really lived enough life to make the right decisions all the time. I remember when I was that young and how much of a cringefest I was. So we're my peers. You don't have shit figured out at that age. That's the age you make mistakes to learn and grow from.
> 
> I wanted to elicit the feeling of frustration at watching people make stupid, rash, half-baked decisions because of personality flaws, inexperience and circumstances through this work. 
> 
> I had even mentioned a lot of times that this work is going to be super angsty. All that has to come from somewhere. So I put it in the most realistic place I could think of: being young and dumb. But, even given my real world inspirations, this work IS completely fiction. Haha
> 
> Anyway, rant aside, thank you beta! 
> 
> And thank you all for reading!


	32. 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Fuck you!" He said as he stomped in through the door. Tharn amusedly stared at Type's irritated gait he hadn't seen in a while. 
> 
> "Your free trial has expired. Sorry, try again next lifetime," Tharn said as he followed him inside. 

The final exams proved a good distraction for Type from his seemingly perpetual headache of a situation with Tharn. He missed him terribly, but Tharn had given him a solid reason as to why they couldn't meet for the past few weeks due to the looming finals; that were now over; so he was back to square one. He had been relieved and depressed in equal measure at not seeing Tharn for so long. Relieved because his heart physically hurt every time he saw his face, the glaring reality of Tharn never loving him back slapping him continuously in the face. Depressed because, even through that, he wanted to see Tharn and be in his presence. He felt like he was going crazy because of not seeing him for so long. 

He grabbed his phone and contemplated shooting Tharn a text and seeing if he would possibly agree to meet him before Type had to go home for the semester break. Before he could even open the messaging app, his phone pinged with an oncoming message. His heart leapt out of his chest when he saw the very name that was constantly on his mind lighting up his screen. 

'You want to go bowling tomorrow?

Like old times?'

'Yeah!

It's been so long.

Maybe I'll beat you this time.'

Type felt absolutely giddy at Tharn's words. He couldn't have responded faster.

'Such naïve dreams.'

'Whatever.

Maybe Dinh will beat you. That's going to be cathartic enough for me to witness.'

'Dinh is not invited. 

We haven't hung out just the two of us in ages. 

Plus, I don't want Dinh to see how you lay face down on the bench when you lose. I'd be embarrassed for you.'

  
  


That made Type do a double take but he couldn't help the spark of absolute joy that ignited in his heart at the prospect of having Tharn all to himself for a whole day.

'Fucking bitch!

Prepare yourself.

Tomorrow, I will end your streak once and for all.'

'I'm shaking in my boots.'

'Whatever.'

'2 PM good for you?'

'Yeah.'

'Okay. See you then.

Loser.'

'Fuck you!'

'You wish'

As Type stared at that message, he did wish. He locked his phone and put it in his pocket before he had any other inappropriate thoughts leak into his mind from the enticing words that had lit up his phone screen. 

He couldn't help but grin about seeing Tharn after so long. And that too by himself. He felt like he had a hanger in his mouth because of how huge the smile that he was sporting got. He'd have Tharn all to himself for a whole day. The thought immediately conjured up the image of Kemp in his mind as his smile faltered a little and he felt a pit of guilt in his stomach. He wondered if it was a good idea to see Tharn on his own without Kemp there. He didn't want it to be a problem so he quickly took his phone out of his pocket and dialled Kemp's number. He tapped his foot expectantly as he thought about how to broach the topic. He felt as guilty as he did happy. Sue him. He missed Tharn and he was sure he wouldn't make it through the semester break if he didn't see Tharn before he left.

°°°

  
  


"How come you're here before me?" Type asked as he walked up to the entrance of the bowling alley, surprised that Tharn had actually made it there before him for the first time. Tharn smiled brightly at him which made his insides bubble over with happiness. Oh, boy, was he fucked. "I don't know. I could ask you the same question. How come you're here after me?" Tharn questioned him back jokingly. Type faltered for a second at his retort and realised how much he missed this banter between them. They could keep this pointless back and forth going for ages and he felt his chest constrict at realising how much he missed it. 

"Whatever. Are you just standing here because you're scared I'm going to beat you?" Type challenged. Tharn laughed mockingly and looked back at Type. "Yeah, I'm practically shitting myself over the fact that you've somehow been blessed with bowling skills by the bowling god's in heaven above in the time that we haven't been here and that you're going to beat me with your newfound, heavensent skills," Tharn said mockingly. Type felt a sense of age old competition surging in his body at Tharn's reply. "Fuck you!" He said as he stomped in through the door. Tharn amusedly stared at Type's irritated gait he hadn't seen in a while. "Your free trial has expired. Sorry, try again next lifetime," Tharn said as he followed him inside. 

Type felt his entire body go cold at Tharn's retort. This was all the confirmation he needed to tell him that, if Tharn took sleeping with him so lightly, he was surely never going to share his feelings. He already knew that, but it still hurt for it to be confirmed in such a way. He quickly put on the bowling shoes and marched to their lane. He picked up a ball and launched it at the pins to knock six pins over and mentally chided himself for being distracted when he had so boldly announced to Tharn that he was going to beat him multiple times since yesterday. He turned to look at Tharn to see the signature smirk on his face and he knew he had lost the match before he even started because Tharn never hit anything below seven.

Type sank back into the bench to get himself ready for his inevitable loss as he stared at the lane. Tharn released his bowling bowl and Type was shocked when he only managed to hit 3. He immediately jumped off his seat to see if Tharn was okay but his worries melted away to be replaced by joy when he heard a flurry of curses leaving Tharn's mouth. "You should have kept up with your practice. Seems to me like you've lost your touch," Type said mockingly as he walked past him to grab a bowling ball for his turn and turned back to see Tharn sitting down on the bench and crossing his arms around his chest, looking annoyed. Type chuckled and turned back to play his turn happily. 

Tharn kept hitting fours and fives for the rest of the game and Type won by a large margin, even though one of his balls went down the gutter. As soon as he hit eight pins for his final turn and the screen above the lane displayed that he won, he turned around and ran up to Tharn, excitedly circling him. "I won! I won! And this time it was fair and square! I told you I was going to end your streak," Type said excitedly. Tharn looked annoyed as he huffed and walked out to change his shoes. Type felt a little bad because he didn't assume not playing for so long would affect Tharn's skills so much. He wondered if him being so excited at winning made Tharn feel even worse as he ran to catch up with him. He somehow felt bad for finally winning. He wanted to see Tharn's shit eating grin again. As much as it annoyed him, he loved when Tharn smiled. Immaterial of which emotion shone behind the smile.

"Since I won for the first time, the chicken's on me," Type said, smiling at Tharn. Tharn turned to look at Type with his lips drawn into a small pout and nodded. Type felt his sudden loud heartbeats in his ear at the look on his face. As much as he loved Tharn's smiles, his little pout did all sorts of things to his heart. He had the momentary urge to grab his face and kiss that pout away. He didn't think he could fall any harder for the pouting man before him. He turned his attention back to his shoelaces as he started lacing up his shoes like his life depended on it. He was already in enough shit to begin with, he didn't need to be adding more problems to his pile. 

°°°

  
  


"When are you going back home?" Tharn asked as Type was taking a bite out of a chicken leg. Type quickly chewed and swallowed his bite, immediately regretting not chewing it better when the crispy edges of the chicken scratched his esophagus all the way down, in his hurry to answer Tharn. He quickly took a sip of his soda. "In two days," he said as he felt the soda soothe some of the scratching, looking back at Tharn who was grinning at Type's apparent pain. Type somehow didn't mind it because it caused Tharn to give him a genuine smile that reflected in his eyes after what seemed like months. "Why? You want to hang out before I leave?" Type asked. 

"That's what we're doing right now. I'm leaving for Japan tomorrow. I'm going to be there for the break to work with my team on our game," Tharn said. Type was taken aback by this sudden development as he gaped at Tharn. "What? How come you didn't tell me about this before?" Type asked, flustered at the thought of not seeing Tharn for months. 

"They just suggested it to me a few days back and I agreed because we'll get more things done if we all work from the same place for a few months. We were in the middle of exams when all this happened. Also, it's not like we'll be meeting during the break because you're going to be back home. I'll see you here when next semester starts," Tharn said and Type felt like an idiot. He forgot that they never actually saw each other during semester breaks anyway so this was not weird at all. Just the thought of Tharn being in a completely different country from him for a few months sort of grated his insides because all the other times, they had at least been in the same country. It was strange to feel uneasy about some like this but that's how Type felt.

"Yeah, I guess," Type said as he looked down at his chicken leg and took another bite to hide his disappointment. 

"Let's go to my place after this. There's something I want to show you," Tharn said which made Type snap his head up at him in intrigue. "Show me what?" Type asked, wide eyed. He felt a little jolt of joy in his stomach at the thought of visiting Tharn's place after so long. So much had happened in that apartment and he hadn't been there for months. 

"It's a surprise," Tharn said as he went back to eating his chicken. Type's curiosity was peaked even further by that declaration as he started to quickly scarf his food down, ignoring the pain the poorly masticated crunchy bits were causing his already abused food pipe, he wanted to find out what Tharn wanted to show him as soon as possible. Tharn looked at Type wincing as he swallowed every bite and pushed his cup of soda towards him to help the food go down easier, which Type graciously accepted. 

°°°

  
  


Tharn signalled Type to sit down on the couch as he headed into his bedroom hurriedly. Type stared at his back, wondering what the surprise was. He stalked to the couch and plopped down on it with his hands under his knees. He bounced up and down expectantly, staring at Tharn's bedroom door. 

Tharn walked out with something behind his back and Type willed his eyes to see what it was through his body like he had x-ray vision. "What is it?" Type asked looking up at Tharn's grinning face. 

Tharn pulled out a box from behind him and Type's excitement immediately died down. "Really? This is your surprise? A Lego set?" Type asked, annoyed at how excited he had gotten, thinking it was a much grander surprise than a toy for children. 

"Not just any Lego set," Tharn said as he walked to the couch and sat next to Type. "This is  _ The _ Lego set," Tharn said as he displayed the front of the box to Type. 

Type stared at the box, confused at what Tharn was going on about. " _ The  _ Lego set?" he asked to voice his confusion.

Tharn chuckled when he saw the look on Type's face. "This is the Lego set my dad had gotten for me when he had gone for his business trip when we were in school. The one I had invited you over to build with me before you left. Remember?" Tharn asked with a small smile. This smile looked sad.

Type lost all his motor skills when his words sank in. He recalled that memory so vividly. That was the last day he had seen Tharn and the image of him waving at him excitedly as Type's car pulled away from the school entrance brought a painful chill to his chest. He couldn't believe Tharn had saved it for all those years because its packaging was still intact. He could feel his heart breaking at their painful past so he shook himself mentally as he smiled up at Tharn. "You still kept this?" he asked with a soft smile as he reached to caress the box.

"Yeah, I didn't have the heart to assemble it after you left because it reminded me of you too much. I didn't know that my mom had saved it all this time. I came across it in our storage last week. We were meant to assemble this together and, since we're friends again, I figured we can finally do that. This set has been waiting to be assembled by the two of us for over a decade," Tharn said, this time with happiness. Type smiled through the pain of Tharn's words assaulting his entire being. 

Type thought of how he had abruptly left without giving Tharn a chance to even say goodbye. His hands went numb at the thought of how the young Tharn that he knew must have gone through such sudden news because they were really good friends. He was Tharn's first real friend and he had abandoned him just like that. He saw the proof of that pain in the unopened box of Lego that Tharn was happily holding up. He knew he had to make it right. He had to change that memory in Tharn's mind forever. 

"Are we just going to admire the box for another decade? Let's get to it already!" Type said with a smile as he grabbed the box from Tharn and tore through the plastic wrap. Tharn's eyes lit up at Type's eagerness to start.

They sat and sorted through the pieces. Type read the instructions and guided Tharn through the different parts of the build. 

"This makes no sense. How is this supposed to even fit with the other pieces!" Tharn said frustratedly as he saw the weird shape Type had instructed him to build. Type stared at the piece Tharn was holding up and looked back down at the instructions. He saw that the pieces indeed didn't look exactly like they did on the instruction. "I told you to do exactly as I said. You must have messed up somewhere," Type said as he grabbed the piece to scrutinise it better. Tharn let out a frustrated sigh as he grabbed the instruction manual from Type's hand. "I followed exactly what you said."

Type looked at the piece, trying to figure out where Tharn went wrong, but failing to pinpoint it. "See? You made me use the wrong piece. That's why it looks like a radioactive potato instead of a dinosaur's jaw," Tharn said as he pointed at the image. Type looked closer at the instruction manual and couldn't for the life of him understand what Tharn meant. Tharn, seeing the look of confusion on Type's face, chuckled and handed him the right piece. "How about you build and I instruct you from this point?" Tharn asked. Type gave Tharn a dopey smile at realising his mistake and looked back down at the piece nodding. 

They sat for another hour and finally finished the build without another hitch. Type held up the T-rex with both hands above his head feeling a sense of accomplishment which made Tharn laugh at him. "That's the wrong era. And the wrong animal," Tharn said through his laughter. Type stared at him, confused at the gibberish. "The fuck?"

"You look like Rafiki holding up a newborn Simba at Pride Rock," Tharn said. It finally connected in Type's mind that he was talking about the scene from Lion King. He shifted his gaze to the wall behind Tharn, tilting his head to the side and thinking really hard with a frown on his face, still holding up the Lego T-rex in the air. Tharn stared at him in intrigue, wondering if he understood the reference. 

Type refocused on Tharn and brought his hands down, feeling the blood rushing into them. "I forgot how the song goes," Type finally said and when Tharn realised that Type was actually thinking about the song lyrics with the faraway look on his face, threw his head back and laughed. Type grinned like an idiot as he watched Tharn laughing with abandon and felt a warmth blossom in his chest. He knew that he would always love him, he just needed to find a way to change what it meant. As he stared at Tharn's figure, he came up with a brilliant idea. 

"Let's take a picture with this," Type said as he held up the Lego T-rex. Tharn widened his eyes in surprise at Type not only taking a picture, but also suggesting it first. "What? Really?" He asked. Type held up his phone as he brought them into frame and turned back to look at Tharn. "Of course. We need to commemorate this moment. This poor dinosaur was waiting to be assembled for over a decade. We did it a disservice," Type said as he turned to look back at the camera. Tharn grinned at how awkwardly Type was holding his phone because his framing was completely off. He chuckled at the proof of the fact that Type indeed never took pictures of himself and it was showing because he had angled the camera in such a way that half his face was out of the frame and so was the bottom half of the dinosaur he wanted to capture. He leaned forward and took the phone from Type's hand as he held up the camera to frame it better. Type stared in wonder at how much better the composition looked when Tharn was holding up the camera and marvelled at Tharn's selfie skills. 

Tharn saw the look of awe on Type's face and turned to him. "Look at the camera. And smile," he said. Type, seeing the smile on Tharn's face felt his body melt into the floor so he hurriedly turned to look at the camera. He looked at Tharn's smile on the screen and his lips naturally turned up in an equally bright smile. 

°°°

  
  


Type sat down on his bed back at the dorm and stared at the picture, grinning from ear to ear. This was the first picture he had ever taken with Tharn and it made him feel giddy.

He opened his Instagram and posted the picture, smiling proudly at the caption he came up with.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter needed a lot of editing so that's why it's out a little late. Sorry for the wait.
> 
> We're 3/4th of the way through now. And there are some lengthy chapters coming so the updates might not be as fast. Apologies in advance.
> 
> Thanks, beta! You make me sound like I know human emotions. Hahaha
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


	33. 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The door of the hall opened and Type turned towards it to see Kemp walking in. He sat up expectantly to gauge his reaction at seeing him. Kemp looked directly at Type and stopped in his tracks. Type held his breath. Kemp slowly pulled his lips into a small smile and Type finally took a breath of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one.
> 
> Also:  
> I'm sorry.  
> I couldn't be more sorry even if I tried.

'What time is your flight?'

  
Type drummed his fingers on his thigh as he waited for Tharn's reply.

'1 PM.

Why?'

1'o'clock. Too soon. 

'Just asking.'

  
'Oh. 

I thought you wanted to see me off.'

If Type could have his way, he'd stow away to Japan in Tharn's suitcase.

'Why would I do that?

It's not like you're going to war.'

'Haha

Yeah, I guess.

Take care then. 

My phone number is going to be out of service there.'

Type wonders how long he'd have to wait until Tharn can get a new number.

'Oh, yeah!

Send me your new number as soon as you get one.'

'We can just chat online. 

I'm going to be too busy to do all that.'

E-mails? What is this? 1995?

But Type will take anything he can get.

'Oh.

That makes sense.'

'I have to finish packing.

Take care of yourself, Type.'

Tharn is going to be in a different country. Type needs to stop stressing out. It's only for a short while, it's not a big deal. He nods to himself as he repeats the words in his head like a personal mantra.

'You too.'

  
°°°

Tharn hugged his family goodbye and got into his cab. His brother offered to drop him off but Tharn politely refused because he had been annoying him through the weeks he was at home. He just wanted to reach the airport in peace. 

He waved at his family as the cab drove off and as he stared out the window, his mind drifted to Type. He knew he would miss him. Especially after having spent all day with him yesterday. They got along like a house on fire. 

Lost in thought, he didn't realise that the cab had pulled up to the airport. The driver turned around to get his attention and he quickly snapped out of it and apologised to the driver. He paid him and got out of the cab. He removed his luggage from the trunk and started wheeling the suitcase towards the departure gate. 

As he walked towards his gate, the sheer need to see Type before he got on the plane almost made him double over in pain. When he texted him in the morning, he was kind of excited to think that he'd come see him off. He couldn't help but be disappointed that Type brushed that suggestion off. He couldn't even be mad because he himself had explained to Type that he would see him in a few months so how could he be mad at Type for listening to him? He retrieved his phone to look at his flight details, pushing the disappointment from his mind. 

"Wow. That's a big suitcase." 

Tharn snapped his head in the direction of the voice and broke into the biggest grin. Type. He came.

Type grinned back at him and walked closer. "Surprise!" He said as he exaggeratedly waved his hands. Tharn _was_ surprised that the person he wanted to see the most was standing right in front of him.

Type had decided last minute to see Tharn off because he figured he wasn't going to see him till the new semester. The wait for the new semester would definitely be the death of him, he wanted to see him at least once before he left when he still had the chance. He knew this was not helping him get over Tharn but he had the whole break to do just that. He figured he'd work through his emotions during the break and the optimistic part of him hoped that when he sees Tharn again, his love for him would have changed from all consuming to platonic. He decided to go see Tharn so he could look at him with all his love one last time.

"How come you're here?" Tharn asked, pleasantly surprised. "I just wanted to show my support to you. I want you to work really hard so I can have a good game to play as soon as possible," Type said jokingly. Tharn chuckled and nodded his head. "Yes, of course. You can't be here to see me off if you didn't have an ulterior motive," Tharn said amusedly. Type smiled back at him because he did have an ulterior motive. That being his ever present feelings for Tharn which just seemed to get deeper and deeper every time he laid eyes on him. However, this was a sort of goodbye to him.

"I can't even deny that. You know me too well," Type said with a soft smile. "Yeah. I guess I do," Tharn said returning his smile but there was something in his eyes that Type couldn't decipher. 

"I have to go in," Tharn said begrudgingly. Type felt his chest tighten at his words so he just smiled and nodded. He was shocked when Tharn suddenly pulled him onto a tight hug. Type stood frozen in place, the surprise slowly wearing off as the smell of Tharn's cologne wafted into his senses and he felt himself melting again. He brought his hands to encircle Tharn's back as he buried his face in his shoulder, trying to etch the memory of this embrace in his mind forever.

After a long while, Tharn grabbed onto Type's shoulders as he slowly pushed himself away from the hug. Type had a sudden urge to tighten his hold on his back because he didn't want to let go, but he knew he had no other choice so he willed his arms to fall to his sides. He cracked a small smile at Tharn to conceal his struggle, who smiled back at him. 

Tharn grabbed his luggage and started walking towards the gate. Type felt his chest painfully constricting with every step that took Tharn further away from him. For reasons unknown to Type, he had started to count the steps that Tharn was taking away from him. He had a sudden impulse to run to him but he fought that need with all his might, keeping his feet firmly planted on the ground. At the 20th step, Tharn turned around and waved at him one last time before he entered the gate and by the 35th step he had disappeared from Type's sight. Type finally let go and felt the pain escape him in the form of tears that completely blinded him. He was surprised that he was holding so much back as he brought his hand up to wipe it away from his face. He figured it was his body's natural reaction at having to come to terms with getting over Tharn once and for all. 

He looked at the departure gate one last time then turned around and walked back the way he came, knowing that he had to be stronger than ever now but feeling the exact opposite of that.

'Goodbye, my love,' he thought as he walked away.

°°°

"So, how was it?" Kemp asked with a small smile. Type halted his action of putting his clothes in his suitcase for a bit and looked down at Kemp sitting on his bed in his small dorm room. He felt the heaviness in his chest when he pictured Tharn walking into the airport again. "Fine," Type said as he shrugged, trying to fake nonchalance as he resumed packing.

Kemp saw the shift in his expression and held Type's hand to stop him from pushing his emotions down like he was doing currently with his clothes. Type stopped when he felt the worry coming off of Kemp through the gentle touch of his hand and felt the weight in his chest grow heavier, his eyes starting to sting. He looked at Kemp with tears blurring his vision. "Doesn't look like it," Kemp said with a knowing smile. 

Type's wall of emotions broke as the tears started to fall with the metaphorical bricks that made up that wall inside him. Kemp, seeing him breaking down, stood up and pulled him into an embrace. Type sobbed into his shoulder as he willed himself to start getting over Tharn. He felt incredibly guilty for crying over someone he loved but never could have while being embraced by his gem of a boyfriend so he grabbed onto his shoulders from the back and held him tighter. "I'm sorry," he said in a broken sob. "Why are you apologising?" Kemp asked soothingly. 

"For not being able to get over him. For coming to you with all my problems. For including you in my mess. I'm sorry," Type said as he sobbed even harder, hiding his face further into Kemp's shoulder. Kemp felt his heart breaking as he held on to Type's body that was being wracked with sobs. "I signed up for this, remember? You have nothing to apologise for," Kemp said reassuringly which made Type feel guiltier, making him cry even harder. 

Kemp stood there, drawing soothing circles on Type's back till his crying had subdued to small sniffles. He gently grabbed his waist and pulled away from him to look at his tearstained face. "You're going to be fine. I'm here. I promised you that I would help you get over him and I intend to keep that promise," Kemp said sincerely. 

Type felt his chest constricting with the guilt he felt towards Kemp for needing him and being so selfish. As he looked into his face, he knew that he had made no progress in his plan to start giving Kemp a chance. Even in his embrace, he felt nothing. Not even a spark. He knew that Kemp had reassured him that he was okay with Type taking his time, but Type could feel that he wasn't getting anywhere at all. He instead had been falling for Tharn even harder. He felt the guilt of that realisation eating away at him as he bit his lower lip. 

Kemp saw the doubt in Type's face so he brought a hand up to cup his cheek gently. Type stared up at him in surprise at the sudden touch. "Type, you really don't have to worry about going through it alone. I'm going to be there for you every step of the way," Kemp said with a sincere smile which made Type feel even worse, even though those were truly reassuring words. He couldn't help but feel like scum because no matter how you put it, he was stringing Kemp along. 

"I love you."

Type felt the colour drain from the world around him as he stood shocked, staring at Kemp's face. He hadn't expected him to say something like that to him. He shook his head to make sure he hadn't just hallucinated him saying those words. Kemp had reassured him that they were simply dating and that it was nothing serious and that he didn't have to worry about it. This changed that. Kemp said he loved him. Type could feel every cell in his being protesting.

He stared in horror as Kemp slowly closed the distance between their faces and his lips were getting dangerously close to his own. Type felt fear gripping his soul because everything about that moment felt wrong. He felt wrong. 

His mind finally connected to his body and he put his hands up to Kemp's chest to push him away. Kemp looked at him in confusion, with his eyes slowly changing to a look of hurt and Type felt knives stab at his chest. "I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm sorry, Kemp. I'm really sorry," Type said as he pushed Kemp away from him and walked to the opposite end of the room, bringing as much distance as he could between them. 

Type, in that moment, finally felt like he could see things clearly as he stared at Kemp with the realisation washing over him. He did not like Kemp. At least not in the way that Kemp expected him to. He knew he could never develop those kinds of feelings for him and Kemp did not deserve that. He knew that Kemp deserved to be with somebody who would love him the way he loved them. He was the kindest, nicest, most understanding human being ever and Type realised that he had just been using him the whole time.

And unsuccessfully at that. All he had managed to do was hurt Kemp in the process. And he was going to hurt him more if he continued down this path. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry, Type," Kemp said as he started to approach Type again. Type felt his heart leap to his throat so he defensively brought his hands in front of his body to tell him to stop. Kemp stopped moving and Type saw the look of hurt flashing on his face again, making him feel incredibly guilty all over again. That nagging feeling egged him on to finally tell him exactly what was on his mind. 

"Please don't apologise to me, Kemp. I don't deserve your apology at all. I am the one who is in the wrong here. I'm sorry it took me this long to see it, but I see it now. I can't do this. I can't use you to get over my feelings for Tharn. They are my own to deal with. I can't selfishly drag you into my mess," Type said.

"I don't mind it, Type!" Kemp said pleadingly. 

"But I do!" Type said firmly, surprising Kemp into silence. 

"I feel guilty every time I look at your face knowing what I'm doing to you, Kemp. I tried. I tried for so long to like you the way you like me. I can't do it. No matter how much I try, the only person in my mind is Tharn. I love him with everything I have. I love him so much it hurts me physically. And I just feel worse about the fact that I'm stringing you along. I can't do it anymore. I will die of guilt if I let this thing continue between us any longer," Type said and felt a sudden sob climbing up his throat after finally coming clean about his feelings.

"Don't break up with me, Type! Please," Kemp said, his face contorting painfully. Type felt his sobs grow heavier at the sight and shook his head. "Don't do this, Kemp. I don't want to do this to you. I want you to respect yourself too. I want you to fall in love with someone who can reciprocate those feelings. Not me. I don't deserve you," Type said through the stream of tears falling down his face. 

"But I love you! Think about how you'd feel if you got a chance to date Tharn. That's what I have with you. Would you want Tharn to leave you?" Kemp asked brokenly. Type stilled as the scenario played in his head. He would be over the moon if Tharn ever agreed to date him, but he knew that the guilt he was feeling at the moment would be the same guilt Tharn would feel for being in a relationship with someone he didn't love back, and worse at that because Tharn felt emotions more deeply than he ever could. He knew that Tharn would never use somebody like he just had and felt like he didn't deserve Tharn even more.

Type felt the pain migrating to his extremities as he looked at Kemp tearfully. "I would never want that. But I know that Tharn would never use somebody like I used you and it kills me. Please, Kemp. Please. For your sake and mine. Let's end this here," Type said with a sob. 

Kemp fell to the floor and grabbed his chest as a broken sob escaped his lips. He had tried so hard for so long to somehow make it work with Type. He couldn't believe it was over just like that. He knew Type was right, but he wasn't in the headspace to accept logic because his heart was breaking. "Please, Type. Please, give us another chance," he pleaded through sobs. 

"No, Kemp. Don't do this. You deserve better. This is over," Type said through his own sobs. 

Kemp held his sides when the loud sobs escaping his throat shook his body painfully, feeling his first love slipping away from his grasp while all he could do was watch and cry.

°°°

The semester break seemed to move at a snail's pace for Type. He hardly slept when the image of Kemp crying on his dorm floor combined with the memory of Tharn walking away from him never left his mind. Whenever he wasn't feeling like the worst human being to exist for what he had done to Kemp, he'd be in the throes of depression at the fact that Tharn would never love him and he didn't deserve him either because of how terrible of a person he was. Those thoughts circling his head was what kept him company throughout the months that he spent at home. 

He missed college because at least there he had the option to forget about everything by hitting the books. He was supposed to spend this break sorting through his emotions and finding peace of mind but none of that seemed to happen for him.

He tried several times to reach out to Tharn but chickened out last minute because he really didn't know what to say to him. He couldn't tell him what happened with Kemp because that would open a whole Pandora's box of secrets he had been keeping from him. He had also sent several apology texts to Kemp but he received no reply. He still kept at it. He needed to absolve his sins by apologising to him even if Kemp didn't accept it. It was the only way he could keep himself somewhat sane. 

He wanted college to start but a part of him knew that going back meant facing all of those issues head on and he felt really uneasy about it. He'd have to see Kemp again after what he did to him. He'd have to see Tharn again, knowing that he would have to keep his terrible deeds a secret from him. The only light at the end of the tunnel he could see from the darkness that constantly surrounded him was that he had found a genuine reason to keep his feelings for Tharn buried deeper in his heart because he felt like he didn't deserve him anymore; apart from the fact that Tharn was in a relationship which also helped. He was literally at his wit's end so he decided to start packing his bags weeks out from the day he was supposed to leave, just to have a sense of purpose and direction, all the while hoping he could fix the mess he had created.

So, it hadn't worked out the way he had hoped, he was still very much in love with Tharn, maybe even more so than before but now he had a new found reason to not act on his feelings. 

Tharn deserved better.

°°°

Type sat down in his seat for the first lecture, a feeling of dread washing over him at the prospect of seeing Kemp again. Kemp had not replied to any of Type's texts over the break and he didn't know how he was feeling. He wondered if Kemp would have gotten over him by now. It had been a good few months since the day they broke up. Their relationship had never progressed beyond Type agreeing to date Kemp. They had never even held hands. Type suddenly remembered Kemp leaning in to kiss him and felt goosebumps form on his arms at how uneasy that had made him. 

The door of the hall opened and Type turned towards it to see Kemp walking in. He sat up expectantly to gauge his reaction at seeing him. Kemp looked directly at Type and stopped in his tracks. Type held his breath. Kemp slowly pulled his lips into a small smile and Type finally took a breath of relief. He knew that everything would work out between them. He smiled back at Kemp waiting for him to walk to him and take his seat. 

Kemp walked closer to the seats and took a detour to his right to sit in an empty seat near the back. Type felt his heart fall at the sight, the sense of relief turning into one of guilt. He knew he shouldn't have expected everything to be okay after what he had put Kemp through. He didn't deserve to be forgiven. He knew he had lost the one close friend he had made in class because of his stupid decisions as he hung his head.

He suddenly remembered something he had told Tharn in the beginning about not wanting to date people in his class because it was going to be awkward if they ever broke up. He felt like an idiot when he realised he had done the exact thing he said he would never do. He never thought he would ever date a guy so he figured he had forgotten about that one rule in that confusion. He chuckled at the sad irony of his bold declaration. He felt his chest constricting at losing a friend. The only solace he felt was that he still had Tharn. 

He unlocked his phone to finally send Tharn a text after months of him avoiding him. He figured he couldn't run away from him anymore. He had to face his problems head on.

'Hey. You want to meet up after class?'

_Undelivered_

  
Type stared at the little error message under the text worriedly. Maybe he was having network issues. He rebooted his phone and shot him another text.

'Are you back yet?'

_Undelivered_

  
Okay, maybe Tharn's phone was acting up.

He decided to try again.

'Tharn?'

_Undelivered_

  
And again.

'Is your phone okay?'

_Undelivered_

  
And again.

'Where are you?'

_Undelivered_

  
Type's anxiety was through the roof at not being able to reach Tharn for days after college started. 35. The number for some reason kept coming to his mind. He tried calling him but the automated reply kept repeating that the number was switched off. The account attached to his number also seemed to not be in use in the messaging app given all the messages were left undelivered, including the regular old direct to number texts he had sent him. 

'35,' his mind whispered to him again. 

As a last ditch effort, he decided to visit the Architecture Department to see Dinh and ask him for Tharn's number. He practically ran out of his building when his lecture ended all the way to Dinh's department that was on the other side of campus. He felt like an idiot for not taking his contact information the many times they had hung out together as he stopped to catch his breath before he entered the building. 

He darted his eyes across the lobby to find Dinh amongst the students that were leaving for the day. He walked closer to the hallway everyone was filing out of, to get a better look. 

Type felt his heart jump when he spotted Dinh's head from a distance as he began to wildly wave his hand at him.

"Dinh!"

Dinh turned to the direction of the voice and spotted Type. He furrowed his brows in confusion at seeing him at his department as he walked towards him. "Type? What are you doing here?"

"Have you spoken to Tharn? When did he get back? I've been trying to reach him for days but I can't get a hold of him," Type said hurriedly. Dinh's expression changed to one of surprise then of annoyance which confused Type. "Why are you asking me? You're his best friend," Dinh said curtly. 

Type leaned back, surprised at Dinh's tone. He wondered if he had done anything for Dinh to speak so rudely to him. "I haven't seen him since he left for Japan. I assumed you would have because you're his boyfriend. That's why I came to you," Type said, realising that Dinh had probably caught on to the fact that he hadn't liked him in the beginning when he had just started dating Tharn. He felt really guilty.

Dinh looked surprised but slowly started to laugh, confusing Type further. He began to wonder if Dinh had lost his marbles in the time he hadn't met him.

"Tharn broke up with me before he left for Japan," Dinh said.

Type's world shook at that confession. Dinh had to be kidding because he met Tharn before he left for Japan. Tharn didn't say anything about this. He knew Tharn would have never kept something so big from him. "Haha! You're funny. Come on!" 

"I'm not kidding. He broke up with me. He gave me some lame ass excuse about him going to Japan and having no time for a relationship because he had to be focused on his project. He didn't tell you?" Dinh asked, surprised.

Type, still not believing him, shook his head. "No. He didn't. So he didn't tell you when he'd be back?" Dinh knitted his brows tightly and stared at him for a few seconds before he relaxed his expression. 

"I don't want to talk about him. He's an asshole. You can just send him a direct message on Instagram or something. I'm done with him," Dinh said and Type stared at him, wide eyed. 

"You can send messages on Instagram?" He asked which made Dinh stare at him in surprise. When Dinh realised that Type wasn't joking, he broke into a laugh. "What the fuck, Type? Haven't you been on Instagram for a while? How do you not know that?"

Type felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he unlocked his phone and opened the app. He tapped around the app and felt about 80 years old when he couldn't figure out how to even send a message. He looked back at Dinh with a helpless look which made Din chuckle. "You're really goddamn adorable for such a big guy," Dinh said as he snatched his phone from Type. Type immediately walked to stand beside Dinh as he opened Tharn's profile and tapped on the Message option. A chat box opened up and Type's eyes lit up as he took the phone back from Dinh. 

"Thanks. And I'm really sorry. I didn't know," Type said apologetically. "It's okay. Not really your fault. Apparently," Dinh said.

Type widened his eyes, wondering what he was implying. "What?"

Dinh gave him a side smile and shook his head. "Nothing. I don't want to talk about him. You can ask him," Dinh said as he gestured at Type's phone that was opened to Tharn's chat box. Type nodded his head, feeling bad for pressing on an issue that Dinh was clearly not comfortable talking about. Dinh bade him goodbye and Type immediately punched in a message and sent it over, happy that it was delivered after days of seeing his messages staying undelivered. 

'Where are you?'

  
°°°

Type sat on his bed, shaking his legs nervously as he waited for a reply from Tharn. He still felt like an idiot for not knowing that you could send messages over Instagram. He recalled how he sat in front of his laptop, starting and deleting emails he planned to send to Tharn and felt silly when there was an easier way to get in touch with him. 

He was still reeling from the fact that Tharn had broken up with Dinh. The fact that he didn't tell him, was the last thing he was thinking about. There had been a war of sorts going on in his head at the news of Tharn and Dinh's break up. A part of his brain stood firm on the belief that Tharn deserved so much better but the other, more selfish, part was lit up with hope. Tharn was single, just like he himself was, currently. 

He knew that them getting together was most probably a pipe dream but he couldn't quash the roots that the hope had started sprouting in his heart and mind. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts when his phone dinged. He grabbed at it and hurriedly unlocked it. He stood up when he saw it was a message from Tharn. His face lit up as his chest bloomed with the warmth of seeing his name lighting up his screen. 

'Japan'

_Read_

Type stared at that message and felt a sense of relief because he was worried about nothing. Also what the hell was he still doing in Japan? The semester has already begun.

'When are you coming back?'

_Read_

  
Type burnt a hole through his phone screen waiting for Tharn to reply. He began to pace as he felt like he was losing his mind because it had been a whole minute since he had read his message. 

'35,' his subconscious just would not shut up.

'Oh, I was going to call you about that.'

_Read_

'Really? You don't have to anymore. When are you coming back?'

_Read_

  
'I'm not'

_Read_

Type dropped his phone when he read those two words. He stood frozen as he lost all sensation in his body. Tharn couldn't possibly be serious. He had to be joking. No way would Tharn make such a big decision and not even tell him about it. He quickly grabbed his phone from the floor, ignoring the big crack across the screen and began typing furiously. No, his subconscious was being ridiculous, his gut was wrong. The spark of fear that he wasn't acknowledging made his nose grow cold and tingle. 

'Haha! Not funny. When are you coming back, asshole?'

_Read_

  
'I'm not kidding, Type. I really wanted to tell you this over the phone. My team and I decided that I should transfer to their university in Japan so we can work more efficiently to finish the game. I was so busy that I forgot to tell you. I was going to call you tomorrow to tell you about it.'

_Read_

Type's world came to a stop as he stared at the message on his screen. 

Tharn.

His only friend. 

The love of his life. 

Was gone.

Type felt his knees buckle underneath him as he fell to the floor. His head felt light. He felt the pain in his chest radiate outwards, igniting a path of agony throughout his entire body. The feeling of pins and needles on the palms of his hands and the soles of his feet got unbearable. He started to furiously rub at his feet to soothe the pain as he felt his vision blur and the tears run down as a sob wracked through his body.

It felt like cruel parallelism because Tharn had left him in the same fashion Type had all those years back, without a single word.

Through the ringing in his ears, he heard the faint sound of his message tone. He reached for his phone with shaky hands but couldn't bring himself to read whatever message he had received. He tightened his grip on it as another sob wracked his entire body. He flung his phone across the room and it shattered against the wall. He felt the twisted tendrils of anguish squeezing his already broken heart. He balled his fists to help the pain he felt in his palms. He brought those same fists to pound at his aching chest as he tried to breathe through the pain. His breath hitching with every small intake. 

White hot streaks of pain consumed him whole when he realised he had lost him again. He had lost Tharn again. He felt his soul rip in half because, this time, he had lost a lot more than just a friend. 

He let the tears and uncontrollable sobs take him. 

He had a final coherent thought before he passed out of exhaustion.

'35.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't be mad at me because I began this with an apology!
> 
> This is the longest chapter yet so it took a lot of work to edit. It was 4.7k words to begin with but beta sat and added another 600 to it. They want to bring the pain. So, yeah.
> 
> Beta! Thank you again. I'm glad you understand what I am trying to say but lack the emotional intelligence to put into words. It's like...you have ESPN or something. Hahaha!
> 
> (Hi, beta here. I felt like the little notes the author was leaving ALSO required proofreading because, goddamn, it's like author just can't English sometimes.  
> Author has issues with emotions and I swear to you, the raw version was like two robots just roboting. They don't pay me enough for this shit.  
> I was really hurt and that made me mad at the author for taking the story to wherever this is; but it is what it is.  
> Anyway, hope you're all in agony.  
> Thank you for sticking with us🖤)
> 
> Thank you for reading! (Please don't kill me.)


	34. 32

**_5 Years Later_ **

_ Running. Type was running through an endless bowling alley. He heard the now familiar roar from behind him and what followed is the rumbling of the ground underneath his feet. He turned and saw his now longtime friend: a t-rex.  _

_ The ground gave out from under his foot and he fell. He landed on a crunchy surface. He looked around and everything was golden and oily. The smell of fried chicken assaulted his senses and he looked up and saw the white brim of the bucket. He started to climb out of the giant bucket of fried chicken that he'd fallen into, the roars and the rumbling still shaking his being. _

_ Just as he was about to climb out, he saw Tharn standing at the brim, waving at him excitedly. His cheeks, round and rosy. Just as he reached out for Tharn, his hand slipped and he fell. _

Type jolted awake.

Fuck.

That stupid dream again.

Type rubbed his face and turned to look at the time.

4:30 a.m. Ah, well, 4:30 today. It was getting better.

He got out of bed and shuffled into his kitchen to start a pot coffee.

He sat at the counter and stared off into the distance, recounting the dream. The whistle of the pot brought him back to the present. He poured himself his regular giant cup of black coffee and sat back down.

It was the same dream. Over and over again. His dreams were like a broken record now. He'd seen the same sequence of events so many times that his dream self was also basically going through the motions now. 

He'd laugh at the absurdity of the dream if it didn't twist the knife that had found a home in his chest every single time. It was always the bowling alley and a t-rex chasing him. Every 20 paces he'd look back and see the t-rex running full tilt at him and every time he'd lift his foot to take the 36th step, the ground would give way and he'd fall. 

It was an endless cycle of running, falling and climbing out. The only way he'd wake up is when 9 year old Tharn showed up at the brim of the bucket. However, he'd never been able to reach Tharn. Every single time he'd reach out, he'd fall and then wake up.

Sometimes, he dreamt that he was running in the halls of his university. Calling out to Tharn. He'd see glimpses of a smiling 18 year old Tharn before he disappeared behind a waterfall of codes. Very Matrix. Though, this dream was less frequent.

He'd been plagued by these nightmares for the past 5 years but he'd never made it to Tharn. Always falling short of a few inches. 

It wasn't like this before. Years back, his dreams were beautiful. Tharn was there and they were happy. He never left. They'd go bowling and eat chicken. They would play games and build Lego t-rexes. As time progressed, his beautiful dreams turned into twisted nightmares and stayed that way.

He gulped down the rest of his coffee and began his day. The moment he locked his door to leave for work, he locked the thoughts of Tharn away for the day. He couldn't allow himself to think of him outside of his home. It was the only way for him to keep going about his day. He'd learnt through experience. It most definitely had not been an easy 5 years, but he was learning. He even got to sleep for all of 4 hours before he was jolted awake. This was progress.

He ignored the twist he felt in his chest at that thought and walked away from his home, and his demons.

°°°

  
  


"Hey, Type. Did you add the photoshoot to the schedule?" Techno asked, peeking into Type's office through the cracked door. Type looked up from his monitor at his assistant for the last two years and nodded. "Yeah, 12 PM Thursday. Call their team and cross-check the timing once more," Type replied. Techno nodded and walked out the door. 

Type went back to clacking away at his keyboard, replying to the never ending load of business emails. Life as a manager for the hottest boy band in all of Thailand was a busy one. He hadn't taken a break since the day he was hired, fresh out of graduation, to manage a small group of boys who were just starting out in the business. Type had worked hard to get them to the standing they had in the industry currently, all by the sweat of his back. He took no personal days, no vacations and his phone was always on to deal with any issues that could arise immediately. He hardly slept. The band members liked to tease him for sleeping less than they did when they were the talent and had packed schedules everyday.

Type loved his job. He was fortunate to have stumbled across the job listing on a website by accident and deciding to apply. He didn't know that his college education would actually end up helping his work immensely. He thanked his stars for lining up and getting him where he was. He loved being busy. He loved being constantly tired. It was the ideal job for him.

In the initial weeks that followed Tharn's departure, he spent all his time sleeping just to keep Tharn with him. He stopped when even his dreams got warped and were no better than reality. Now he slept only as a necessity. 

So, yes, his job kept him busy and on his toes and he couldn't be happier.

Type went back to responding to the countless emails and heard his phone ping. He reached of it and he read the message:

'Meeting in the conference room at 3:35 p.m.'

_ '35 is a stupid fucking number,'  _ Type thought.

°°°

  
  


"Phi, can we go have dinner at that Japanese place after dance practice?" Jake asked, wiping the sweat off his brows. Type shook his head at the request, knowing that they'd get less sleep than they already got if he agreed. They had an early schedule the next morning for which they needed to be out by 5 AM in the morning and it was already 10 PM. "Nong, I'll order take out for you guys. It's already so late. You all have to be up early tomorrow for the interview with the news station, remember?" Type said.

Jake started to exaggeratedly pout in rebellion which made Type chuckle because he was a masculine guy who stood over 6 feet tall. Taller than Type even. "Please, Phi! We haven't eaten out in a whole month. If I have to eat chicken for the 5th time in a row, I won't be able to look at chicken again. I swear we'll wake up on time and won't make a fuss. Right?" Jake said as he pulled Lan, who had been standing a few feet away practicing the choreography, by the arm to stand next to him. "What?" Lan asked as he looked back and forth between Jake and Type in confusion. 

"I'm asking Phi to take us out for Japanese after practice," Jake said, cluing his clueless band mate in on the situation. Lan immediately perked up at the suggestion. "Yes! Please, Phi! I can't eat chicken anymore. I swear if I smell another dish with chicken in it, I  _ will _ throw up," Lan said, which made Type chuckle. 

Type's chuckle turned into full on laughter when both the boys started faking a pout in front of him. They had been working very hard without a break for months on end so Type figured that a small treat wouldn't hurt. "Fine. But you guys have to finish fast and get home to rest before your next schedule," Type said. 

Both the boys jumped up in excitement which made the rest of the guys turn to look at them. "Phi is taking us out for Japanese after practice," Lan announced to them, who immediately started to cheer. Type smiled at the boys, feeling extremely proud of how humble they had stayed through the fame they had amassed because even the prospect of a simple Japanese dinner got them as excited as going to Disneyland. 

°°°

  
  


"It's been about 500 years since I've been on a date," Seo said from across the table from Type. Type turned to look at him to listen in on the conversation he was having with Luke. "More like, 600 years for me," Luke said with a frustrated roll of the eyes. 

"Why do you need to go on a date when you're practically on a constant date with 3 of the hottest boys in all of Thailand? You don't even realise how lucky you are. How ungrateful," Jake said, clicking his tongue in mock disappointment from beside Type, which made him laugh. Seo shot daggers at Jake and mock-laughed. 

"That'd be great and all  _ if _ I was a dick enthusiast. You guys may be the hottest guys in Thailand, but that doesn't change the fact that I don't swing that way. Also, if those people who are thirsting over you actually saw how you lived, they'd quickly abandon you on the side of the road," Seo retorted pointing at Jake which made the entire table laugh.

"Yeah, why does your room look like a sty? Are you a human being or a pig?" Lan asked, turning to Jake. "Wait! Are you eating pork ramen right now? Isn't that considered cannibalism?" Luke added as he pointed at Jake's ramen, making everyone around the table laugh again. 

"Fuck all of you! You're just jealous that our fans think I'm the sexiest," Jake declared angrily. "Yes, the sexiest pig to ever exist," Seo retorted, making Type snort. Jake turned to look at Type, brows furrowed in annoyance. "Are you making fun of me too, Phi?" Jake asked.

"What? No!" Type said defensively. "Then why did you make that sound? Isn't that what a pig sounds like?" Jake asked and realisation finally dawned on Type, making him slam the table with his palm as he began to laugh out loud. Jake looked even more annoyed as his lips turned into a pout. Type couldn't help but think he was the biggest baby, literally, because he was the tallest, oldest and biggest among the boys. 

"You don't have to feel bad about not being able to go on a date. You're literally swamped with work and schedules. Not to forget you're also a celebrity. Dating is not easy for us. Just look at Phi, here. He's been single since the day we met him and he has no life outside of us when he's not even in the public eye like we are," Lan said teasingly gesturing at Type which got a chuckle out of the rest of the boys. Type shrugged as he pursed his lips because what Lan said was completely true. 

"Yeah, why Phi? You can date so freely and yet you're single," Jake said as he turned to look at Type. "I'm just showing solidarity to you guys. You're too busy and famous to date so I don't want to flaunt my dates in front of you. We need to work together and I'd like for there to be no point of contention between us," Type said jokingly. 

"That's great and all, but we'll be just fine Phi. You can date now. You're getting old. We don't want you to end up sad and alone," Lan said, making the boys chuckle. "How sweet of you. I'm literally three years older than you so you should worry about yourselves," Type retorted as he stared down Lan. 

"Ouch," Lan said as he feigned hurt.

"But, seriously, Phi. Why are you still single? You're literally a catch. Anyone would be lucky to date you," Jake said and Type turned to look at him. The distant memories of a certain someone who did not think that twisted the knife in his chest as he smiled through it. "I'm too busy. Maybe once you guys stop being famous and get all washed up I'll think about it," Type said with a playful smirk. The boys sucked in a breath of shock in tandem at his retort. 

"So you  _ are  _ going to die old and alone. Because we're going to be famous till the day we die," Seo said with a mischievous grin. Type chuckled and nodded his head. "Yeah, I guess. I  _ had  _ been thinking about adopting my first cat," Type said as he looked pensively into the distance making Seo chuckle. 

"It's okay," Jake said as he put a reassuring arm around Type's shoulder. "If you're still single by the time you turn 30, I'll date you, Phi," he added with a smile plastered on his face. Type leaned his head back trying to gauge if he was joking and relaxed when he saw the shit-eating grin on his face. He knew he was joking. "Sure. We can build a big, beautiful, two-storied sty for us to live in as soon as we get together," Type said in jest which made Seo spray the sake in his mouth on himself, his body starting to rock with laughter. 

"You  _ are  _ making fun of me!" Jake said as he crossed his arms in front of his body, faking annoyance. Type felt a little bad at adding to everyone having a go at him so he put his arm around his shoulder to reassure him. "I'm sorry! I'm joking. I  _ will  _ date you if I'm still single by 30. Okay?" Type said which made Jake break into a small smile. "Okay. Don't forget!" Jake said pointing at Type with his index finger. 

"Are we going to have to perform at your wedding?" Luke asked. "Of course! Wouldn't you want to perform at your best friend's wedding to your  _ dad _ ?" Jake asked incredulously, making the boys fall into another bout of laughter. 

Type chuckled at the truth behind those words. He was like a father. To four grown up boys. At the ripe old age of 25. He joined in their laughter, feeling a sense of family he hadn't in a very long time. 

°°°

  
  


Type waved at the boys as they entered their dorm and his phone suddenly went off. He quickly reached for it to check if it was information about the interview the next day. He unlocked his phone and was surprised to see it was a news alert. He felt his heart leap when he saw the first two words in the headline notification. 

  
  


**Tharn Kirigun**

  
  


He locked his phone and shoved it deep into his pocket. Not yet. 

He got into his car and drove home in record time. Once he was safely inside his sanctuary, where he could drop the act and be as sad as he wanted to be, he quickly tapped on the article. As much as it hurt him to read about Tharn, it hurt so much more when he didn't know what Tharn was up to. These tid-bits made him feel like he still had a little bit of Tharn.

  
  


**Tharn Kirigun, creator of the popular game 'Legend', spotted at La Merlot with famous actress Mahiro. Is there romance brewing between the pair?**

  
  


He almost immediately regretted setting a notification for news about Tharn as he stared at that dreaded headline. He felt like he needed to slap himself for having such a thought because he should be glad to know that Tharn was happy. He hadn't kept in touch with him personally but he kept an alert on his phone for news about him ever since Legend was released the year before. He had been over the moon at the success Tharn had seen in just a few months of its release. He was on every magazine and news headline for the past year and it wasn't slowing down. Everyone was enraptured by how a man who looked like he had been carved by the hand of God could also be a genius game developer.

Type had lapped up every news coverage, livestream, interview and announcement to do with Tharn. He silently cheered him on from the sidelines, never having the courage to reach out to him to congratulate him personally. There was just too much in his heart and mind that stopped him from doing so. 

He felt his chest constrict again as he scrolled down and saw the grainy picture attached to the article where it looked like the actress was reaching out to touch Tharn's arm. The familiar feeling of his heart slowly being squeezed made him immediately lock his phone and run into the bathroom. 

°°°

  
  


"I've been stuck at this mission in Legend for a few days now. I just can't seem to pass it no matter what I try. Is the game broken? Everyone talks about how amazing it is but I can't even get past a beginning mission to find out for myself," Jake said from the back of the van. Type's ears immediately perked up when he heard the mention of Legend. Type played that game through once every few months and he loved it. He always knew Tharn was going to do great things and the proof of it was in the lore and gameplay he had worked into Legend. No wonder it had massive international fame. Thinking about Tharn at work was against his rules, but Jake saying the game was broken had to be a mistake. "Which mission?" Type asked as he looked into the rearview mirror at Jake. 

"The one where I have to convince the elders to let Dominic become my apprentice," Jake replied frustratedly. "I've literally tried every option. I think I got a broken version of the game," he added as he leaned back on his seat with a frustrated sigh. 

Type smiled at the memory of that mission. He recalled how Tharn had made him play that very mission when he was fighting with Nicolette to show him how to resolve things with her. His frustration at not being able to get through the mission initially was reflected in the way Jake had reacted to the same mission. Seeing the parallel of his emotions back then and presently in Jake made him chuckle. "Oh, the game is not broken. It's a little tricky but you can get past it," Type said. Jake immediately leaned forward and put his body in the separation between the front seats to stare at Type. "You've played the game, Phi? Can you help me?" Jake asked. Type turned to look at him and saw the wide, expectant look on his face and chuckled. "Sure."

"You can come up once we reach the dorm. We don't have a morning schedule tomorrow so we can finish that mission today," Jake suggested. "Yeah, I guess," Type said with the shrug of a shoulder. Jake lit up and excitedly hit Type's arm at the prospect of finally getting through the impossible mission. "Hey! I'm driving!" Type said, chiding Jake. "Oh! Sorry, Phi. I just got really excited," Jake said as he retracted his hand and smiled up at Type. Type turned to look at the wide grin on his face and smiled in amusement as he turned to look back at the road.

°°°

  
  


Type watched as Jake's choices made the elders throw the spirit adventurer out the gates and chuckled at the same mistake he was making that he himself had made when he first played the mission. "Why are you laughing at me, Phi! I've been so frustrated for the last few days because no matter what options I pick I always get thrown out by these brutes!" Jake whined. 

"You're not picking the right options," Type said. "What do you mean, Phi? I just told you that I have tried picking every available option," Jake said frustratedly. Type couldn't help but smile at finally seeing how Tharn must have felt when he was complaining about the mission the same way and Type knew exactly what to say to him. "You're not picking the right options because you're trying to finish the mission quickly. You need to understand how to approach the elders. They have been cattle herders for centuries. You can't just waltz in and drop a bomb on their head by telling them you're taking Dominic with you to make him your apprentice. You need to see it from their perspective," Type explained patiently. Jake nodded through his explanation unblinkingly with his mouth hanging slightly open. He then turned towards the TV and restarted the mission. 

Type looked at the screen and smiled proudly when Jake finally started picking the right options. He grinned at Jake's excited squeal when he killed the werewolf. He patted Jake's shoulder to congratulate him. 'Of course the game wasn't broken, Tharn made it,' Type thought to himself as he smiled at the screen.

"That was so cool! This is the best game ever! Did you see the graphics on the incantations? I have never seen such clean graphics in a game ever. The developers are real geniuses. They've really changed the face of gaming with this," Jake said excitedly. Type beamed at the fact that he had played this very mission 6 years back and how much more amazing it was to see graphics of that calibre back then. He was incredibly proud of Tharn for achieving his well deserved fame. That thought brought a hollow ache in his chest when he remembered how their friendship had ended. The heartache that he had gone through. The zombie-like trance he had finished the rest of his college years in. Recalling that, his mood started to turn to one of melancholy. So much for not thinking about Tharn outside his own four walls.

°°°

  
  


Type sat inside the van in the dorm entrance, eyes staring emptily out the wind-sheild. His mind had been on Tharn ever since he had read that godforsaken article weeks ago. Tonight was no help because he had started to reminisce about all the good times they had together and the friendship they shared along with how it ended so abruptly by his own hands. It had been years since he talked to Tharn. Half a decade to be exact. He had changed his number after he broke his phone the day Tharn told him he was not coming back from Japan. He didn't reinstall Instagram on his phone and made a new email account because he was scared of the thought that Tharn would try to reach him through his old email ID. 

Type had completely cut off all contact with him. Whatever he knew about Tharn came from the news. He was glad to have that because at least he knew that Tharn was doing well for himself. 

And, it had been years. Type wasn't angry anymore. Maybe Tharn did have a solid reason for leaving the way he did. Look how well the game was doing. Maybe this was why he left, for his dream. Tharn seemed to be doing quite fine too with his game being so famous and, now, seemed to be dating the hottest actress in all of Japan. He felt a twinge in his heart at that last thought.

He wondered if Tharn ever reached out to him in the five years they had been apart. The fear and anger that had kept him from reaching out to Tharn had ebbed. Well, the anger at least. With that thought in mind, he pulled out his phone and opened his email app. He put in his old email ID and password and hesitated for a second. He suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted to know if Tharn had reached out to him. He was scared to be disappointed if he hadn't but he was even more terrified if he had, because he didn't know where his mind would spiral off to in that case.

He stared at the screen for an ungodly amount of time trying to psyche himself up and finally tapped on the login button with a trembling finger. He held his breath and waited for his inbox to load. 

He felt his heart accelerate at what he saw before his eyes.

Tharn  _ had _ emailed him.

Hundreds of times by the looks of it.

He scrolled down the unending unopened emails that had piled up over the years and felt painful pinpricks assault his chest.

He felt his breath catch when he reached the last opened email from five years ago from a random food delivery app. He scrolled back up to see the date stamps on the email to see that there were emails everyday for the first few months, slowly teetering off to a few a week and then a few a month. 

He finally reached the latest email and his heart leapt to his throat when he saw it was sent 2 days ago. He quickly tapped on that email and nervously shook his leg as he waited for it to load. 

  
  


_ Type, _

_ I just finished a press tour for our company expansion. We're planning on opening a branch in Bangkok and I'm coming home after 5 long years. I'm on the flight right now.  _

_ I know there is no chance of you seeing this email because you haven't replied or reached out to me all this time, but I really hope you at least see this one.  _

_ I want to see you. I've missed you so much. There is so much I have to share with you and so much I want to know about what you have been doing all these years.  _

_ If you do end up reading this, please meet me. I really miss you, Type.  _

_ This is my personal number: +81 018 9475 025  _

_ I really hope to hear from you. _

_ Tharn/Asshole _

  
  


Type felt his heart beating loudly in his ears, drowning out all other sounds around him. He could feel his extremities slowly feel prickly with anticipation as the reality that Tharn was currently in Bangkok, wanting to see him, dawned on him. He felt a nervous sweat beading on his forehead, his stomach suddenly being assaulted by butterflies. Without much thought, he saved Tharn's number on his phone and opened his messaging app.

He stared at the screen for ages as he tried to think about how to even begin. It had been so long since he had spoken to Tharn. Some days he would sit and wonder about what he would say to Tharn if he ever met him or if he tried to contact him. He had so much to say and he was afraid of the words he would spew so he'd kept his mouth shut in reality. But now reading a message Tharn himself wrote to him made him realise how much he missed his friend. Yes, he was the love of his life but he was also his friend and he wanted his friend back. He knew that it was going to be difficult for them to fall back into the same rhythm they had years ago as he stared at the keyboard, willing the letters to give him some idea of what to type. 

He was a ball of nervousness and excitement when his eyes moved to look at Tharn's name on top of the chat box. That was a sight he hadn't seen in a while. The knowledge of having Tharn one call or message away made him slowly curl his lips into a smile. He was overthinking it. 

'Hi, Tharn.

It's Type.'

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a while because beta wanted to add some things to it. Also, had to change one plotline on their suggestion because it made sense. 
> 
> Beta, thanks. I guess I should call you co-writer from this point on. (Damn right- Beta🖤)
> 
> We'll be away for a few days so we're sorry for having to make you wait for the next chapter. Also, because we have to do massive edits due to the one change in plotline. (Doesn't really effect the story as a whole, but it's just for our collective peace of mind.)
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	35. 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait for this chapter! And thank you for the lovely comments on the last chapter!!

Type had been buzzing for days after texting Tharn. He felt giddy and happy everyday ever since. They had planned to finally meet up on Friday and Type was caught in a battle of nerves and feeling over the moon at the same time constantly. Moreover, he felt more well rested. It's not like his nightmares had completely disappeared, he still had them but, for the first time in five years, he had a dreamless sleep last night. His dreams were still the same but it didn't elicit the same kind of feelings in him. He couldn't explain how it was different, it just felt different. 

He was unconsciously smiling as he was rereading the emails from Tharn for the upmteenth time when Techno popped into his office. Techno, seeing Type sitting frozen, smiling at his computer screen, broke into a chuckle; effectively breaking Type from his trance. "What are you looking at?" Techno asked with a playful wiggle of his eyebrows. Type straightened himself up and coughed to clear his throat at being caught daydreaming during work hours. "Ummm… nothing. I was just looking at the schedule for the week," Type quickly lied.

"What about the schedule is making you smile like that? Don't tell me. Is it the fact that it's jam packed with concert practice so you're going to get even less sleep this week?" Techno asked jokingly. Type rolled his eyes at him, knowing that Techno thought of him as a workaholic. He wasn't wrong to assume it because Type hardly made any time for himself outside of work. "Yeah. Can't wait to work my ass into the ground," Type said mockingly making Techno smile in amusement. "Good. Because we got the cover of Teen Vogue next month. I've scheduled the photoshoot on Friday at 7 PM because that's the only available slot this week," Techno said, awaiting Type's reaction, because he knew he would be excited for the boys to get another magazine cover. 

Techno was immediately concerned when he saw Type stare at his keyboard, looking downcast. "What happened? I thought you'd be happy to hear that news."

Type felt his enthusiasm fizzle out when he realised he would have to cancel with Tharn, after being excited to see him after all these years. But work was important. It was the only thing going for Type and he really didn't want to put personal commitments before it. He never had in the past and he knew he couldn't do it in the present either. "Nothing. I am really excited. That's 4 magazine covers within this year already. That's great news," Type said looking up at Techno, trying to give him a genuine smile.

Techno felt even more concerned when he saw Type's face contort into a horrifying grin as he furrowed his brows. "Type, are you okay? You don't look too good. Maybe you should take the day off," he suggested.

Type shook his head in disagreement with Techno's suggestion. "No, I'm fine. I just had plans on Friday. It's okay though. This is more important. I'll reschedu…."

"What?!?" Techno half-screamed, interrupting Type. Type jerked back in his chair, shocked at Techno's sudden reaction. "I said I can reschedule my plans," he said as he stared at Techno in confusion.

Techno started to violently shake his head and then grinned at Type, scaring Type more than Type had scared him. "No! You're not rescheduling anything," he said with an excited chuckle. Type was even more confused by that reaction. "What do you mean? We have a photoshoot on Friday. I need to be there," Type said incredulously.

"No. You don't  _ need  _ to be there. I can cover for you. You are going to stick to your original plans," Techno said determinedly which threw Type. "I can't just leave to have a leisurely dinner when I have responsibilities," Type said as he knitted his brows.

"Yes, you can. I can cover for you easily. I've been with you for two years, Type. I have been at enough shoots to know how to handle them. Heck, I could do it in my sleep. What I'm more concerned about is you finally having a plan to do something outside of work and I'm not going to sit here and watch you cancel it. You don't even understand how big this news is!" Techno said excitedly. 

Type furrowed his brows in further surprise. He didn't know whether to chide Techno or thank him in the moment. He really didn't want to cancel on Tharn but he was worried about ditching work for the first time in his life. "Umm…."

"It's decided. You're taking Friday evening off and I'm going to go to the photoshoot. End of discussion. Nice talk!" Techno said, cutting Type off from making another excuse to get out of his plans, as he slammed his office door shut behind him. Type stared at the closed door for a second before breaking into a smile. He was bunking work for the first time to meet Tharn and he felt a thrill climbing up his spine at the prospect. 

°°°

  
  


Type nervously tapped his foot, scared to enter the restaurant, as he stood outside the building. He checked his phone for the twentieth time to make sure he wasn't late and the phone screen once again showed him he was still early. By 10 minutes this time. He didn't want to seem too eager by being the first one to arrive but his mind went to thinking of the possibility of Tharn showing up and seeing him hesitating at the door and how that would definitely seem more embarrassing. He sighed and resigned to his fate as he entered the lobby, heading to the elevator.

He walked up to the reception and gave his name and was led to a seating at the back of the restaurant, hidden by a partition. As soon as he rounded the screen, he froze. 

There, sitting facing the glass wall behind the table, viewing Bangkok's skyline, looking as devastatingly beautiful as ever, was Tharn. His heart jumped to his throat as soon as he laid eyes on his profile. All the memories from his past resurfaced at the same time, making him feel dizzy. He felt a distinct sting at the back of his eyeballs but no, now was not the time for tears. He blinked rapidly to dissipate the impending tears.

"Sir, please," said the usher as he pulled a chair for Type to sit, grabbing Type's attention. Tharn, hearing the usher speak, immediately turned to look at Type and broke into a big smile. He felt his heart leap and his stomach flip under his gaze at the same time. He just stood there staring at the man he had been in love with for a long time with no idea what to even do at that moment. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Was he supposed to hug Tharn? Shake his hand? He felt so lost with how he was supposed to greet his long lost friend and most importantly, his unrequited love.

"Sir?" The usher said again to a frozen Type who immediately broke out of his stupor and quickly sat down seeing the waiter holding the chair open for him. Well, at least his panicked mind made the decision for him. There would be no touching Tharn, it seemed. That disappointed Type. The usher smiled and handed Type a menu. "A server will be with you shortly. Please feel free to peruse the menu. Our special today is lobster sous vide in garlic butter."

Type nodded, not really hearing a word he said but too scared to look away from him because that would mean he'd have to look at Tharn and he wasn't sure if he was ready to look at Tharn with just a tiny table between them. The usher gave him another smile and started to walk away and Type felt panic rising in his chest as he disappeared behind the screen. He was going to be alone with Tharn. He suddenly felt like maybe he wasn't ready to see Tharn one on one just yet and maybe he had made a mistake by agreeing to meet him so soon.

"Type, is there a problem? Do you not want to be here?" Tharn asked, which made Type immediately turn his head to see the dejected look on his face. That made Type's heart pound in his chest. That's the first thing Type had heard Tharn say to him in the last 5 years. His heart twisted at the sound of Tharn's voice. However, the words and the barely concealed hurt in his tone caused Type to say, maybe a little too loudly, "No!" surprising Tharn and himself at the same time. "I mean, I want to see you. That's why I'm here," Type said with eyes still wide because of the nerves he was feeling sitting across from Tharn, seeing him with his own eyes and not a screen after five long years. He looked even better in person, which made Type feel worse because Tharn seemed even more unreachable to him, even though he was not really thinking along those lines. Or, at least, trying his hardest not to.

"Oh, thank god! Because the look on your face said you were ready to bolt out of the restaurant," Tharn said with a smile which made Type's heart sputter. Well, Tharn wasn't entirely wrong. He wanted to run away as much as he wanted to stay. "It's just weird. Seeing you after all this time," Type said honestly, his voice small at the second sentence. Tharn's eyes saddened at Type's words but the smile stayed on his face. "I know. I haven't aged that well. But you have. You look great," Tharn said sincerely.

Type knitted his eyebrows at his claim because, to him, it sounded like they should have met at an optometrist's clinic instead of a restaurant because he clearly needed his eyes checked. "Are you kidding me? You look ten times better than you used to back then which was already better than I do right now," Type said in disbelief. Tharn chuckled at his tone and shook his head. "I guess some things haven't changed," he said as he smiled fondly at Type. 

Type felt heat rising up his ears at the smile Tharn was giving him. "What?" He quickly retorted.

"You still think you're not the very attractive man that you are. Even more so now," Tharn said gesturing at Type, who stared unblinkingly at Tharn with his mouth slightly agape. He couldn't believe his ears. Tharn called  _ him _ attractive. He had to be joking because he was  _ Tharn _ . Type looked at the mirror everyday so he couldn't understand how he could even think of him as attractive when Tharn had the face and physique of, well, Tharn. He started to chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all. 

"Why are you laughing?" Tharn asked, confused. "No reason," Type replied as he shook his head and looked at the menu. Type never understood what Tharn saw in him that made him say such things to him. He decided to change the topic before he could let Tharn's off hand comment make him imagine things. "Congratulations on Legend," he said instead.

Tharn broke into a grin and nodded his head. "Thanks. So you  _ did _ keep tabs on me," Tharn said and Type felt his face heat up again. "How can I not know? You're literally all over the news. It's like someone not knowing what Apple is," Type said, to cover his embarrassment, making Tharn chuckle. 

"Congratulations to you too," Tharn said, making Type immediately stare at him in confusion. "What have I done for you to congratulate me?" 

"For Refresh being the biggest band in Thailand," Tharn said with a smile. Type was more than shocked to hear those words coming out of Tharn's mouth. He didn't know how Tharn knew about his job because he kept a very low profile. He was sure it would have been really difficult for anyone to find out about him being the manager for Refresh because he had no social media presence. He left the social media side to the social media management team they had hired for that specific task. He sat up in his seat, dying of curiosity, itching to ask how in the world Tharn possibly found out. 

"Sir, are you ready to order?" A server suddenly asked, making Type contort his face in frustration at the sudden intrusion at the most inconvenient moment. "Type? Do you know what you want?" Tharn asked as he turned to look at him. Type wanted this part to get over quickly because he had more important things to get back to with Tharn. "I'll have the special," Type said, suddenly remembering the usher mentioning something about a special. Tharn raised his eyebrows in abject surprise. "Are you sure?"

Type furrowed his brows in annoyance because he wanted to finish ordering quickly. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"You've gotten over your hate for lobster?" Tharn asked, a little taken aback. 

The mention of lobster suddenly made Type's stomach churn. He looked down at the table to see the small card that showed the special of the day with the image of a big lobster and he felt like an idiot for not paying it mind before he opened his big mouth. He really didn't want to eat lobster but he felt like he had already dug his grave and shivered at the thought of consuming that lobster with its lifeless eye staring him down as he consumed its disgusting flesh.

"We'll have two filet mignons. Medium rare," Tharn said to the server. Type immediately shot his head up to look at Tharn who gave him a knowing smile. Type felt his chest start to blossom with warmth and immediately averted his eyes to chase away how the thought of Tharn still remembering so much about him was making him feel. 

The server refreshed their water and excused himself, much to Type's relief. He immediately turned to look at Tharn as the server turned the corner. "How?"

Tharn furrowed his eyebrows at his question. "How what?" He asked, genuinely confused. Type felt frustration climbing up his throat at how quickly Tharn had lost their chain of conversation, even though it did take them a while to place the order, but that detail was inconsequential to Type at the moment. "How do you know about me working for Refresh?" Type asked. Tharn, finally getting clued in on the reason behind the frantic look in Type's eyes, chuckled heartily, irritating Type further. "How could I not? You're all over Twitter," Tharn said.

"What?" Type asked as he slammed a palm on the table, shaking the cutlery on the table, his world shaken up by those few words. Tharn, taken aback by Types reaction, leaned back as he stared at the palm that audibly shook the entire table and then looked back at Type. He recognised in Type's shocked expression that he genuinely did not know about his Twitter fame. 

"You're all over Twitter. There are so many pictures of you. They call you the secret member of Refresh posing as a manager. There are so many fans posting thirst tweets about you. That's how I found out you manage the band," Tharn explained. Type felt his extremities go numb. He felt like a dumbass for not knowing anything about something so big. He always let the social media team handle everything to do with all that so it came as quite a shock to him. Social media had always been a weak point for him so he gave the entire responsibility to that team and he felt stupid for not checking up on what's happening himself. A sudden thought slowly started to nag Type and he needed answers so he looked back up at Tharn. "But how did you find me? I don't have any social media profiles. Are you a Refresh fanboy?" Type asked, a little amused by the prospect because their fanbase was mostly teenaged girls. 

Tharn threw his head back and laughed at the insinuation. "Yes," Tharn said with mirth in his eyes, taking Type by surprise. "At least ever since I found out that you're managing them," he added with a grin making Type's stomach do flips, which he chose to ignore for the sake of the conversation. 

"I happened to come by a tweet about you on a random hashtag I was browsing. I was so taken aback because I hadn't heard from you for years so I dove into research about the band, the history and how to contact you, and came up empty. I never got any replies to the inquiries I made about you. Probably because they thought I was one of those crazy fans," Tharn further added as he made himself start to laugh at the memory of him sending frantic emails and making phone calls to their company for weeks on end. 

Type was thoroughly taken aback to learn that Tharn had tried to reach out to him for so long and the fact that he was not as inconspicuous as he thought he was. He also suddenly felt really guilty for leaving Tharn without ever telling him the reason behind why he suddenly cut all contact with him. He knew that was a topic he couldn't really broach at the moment so he opted to quell his curiosity instead. "Show me the Twitter thing," Type requested as he extended a hand to Tharn eagerly. 

Tharn smiled and nodded as he reached for his phone and opened Twitter. He searched up the hashtag and handed the phone to Type. Type stared at the tweets with his jaw slowly coming unhinged with every tweet he was reading. There were thousands of tweets about him with hundreds of pictures. He recognised the events because he was behind the band at all times but he was surprised to see they were pictures of him and not the band. He never imagined that out of the hundreds of camera flashes, a few were directed towards him. His eyes then moved up to see the hashtag and he was visibly shaken.

#refreshmanagerisadaddy

He looked up at Tharn with shock written on his face, making Tharn laugh again. Type's shock turned to joy hearing Tharn laughing with abandon after all the years they had been apart. It was like music to his ears. He broke into a smile, totally forgetting about his predicament that was staring at him from the phone screen in his hand as he looked fondly at Tharn.

°°°

  
  


"So how come you chose to be a talent manager of all things?" Tharn asked, slicing into his filet mignon. Type looked up from his plate and shrugged. "I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life and just came across the job listing on a website. I applied for it and luckily got the job. The rest is, well, history," Type replied as he replayed the moment in his mind.

"I'm glad that you are so successful at what you do. I'm so impressed," Tharn said with a sincere smile. Type stared at him confused out of his mind. He couldn't understand how Tharn was congratulating him when Tharn was literally the creator of a game that had international fame and fandom and his company was currently expanding their business to different countries. He scoffed as he shook his head at the thought of it. "What?" Tharn asked at the confusing reaction.

"You are ridiculous," Type said with another scoff. "What? Why?" Tharn asked, genuinely confused. 

"You're aware that you're literally Tharn Kirigun, creator of Legend, right? Not to mention, the owner of a whole ass gaming company. And you're impressed by what I've done? You've got to be kidding me," Type said as he chuckled in disbelief. "But what does that have to do with me? I'm just proud of what you've achieved. I always had a goal in mind but you picked up the first job you saw, not even knowing anything about it and then went on to be so successful. That's a lot more impressive than what I've done," Tharn said sincerely. 

Type stopped and stared at Tharn, feeling his heart thumping really loudly in his ribcage at the honesty reflected in his eyes. He'd never thought of it in that way. Trust Tharn to show up half a decade later and still take Type to maturity school. He immediately shifted his gaze to his plate as he sawed off half the filet mignon and proceeded to shove it in his mouth. Tharn chuckled at how Type looked like a chipmunk storing nuts in its cheeks. 

"Tell me more about your job. How is working with Refresh like?" Tharn asked. Type looked up at him as he swallowed the big chunk of meat in his mouth. He thanked God that they were eating at a 5 star restaurant and the meat was like butter, because he would have definitely choked on it. The euphemism wasn't lost on him as he broke into a grin.

"It's fun. It keeps me really busy and I like it. They weren't called Refresh in the beginning. I suggested they change the name. The CEO still thanks me for it to this day because Refresh rolls off the tongue a lot better than F5. I couldn't believe they came up with such a godawful name to begin with," Type said as he chuckled at the distant memory. "Why F5?" Tharn asked, intrigued.

"Because the CEO was doing a lot of market research on how to cater to the female demographic so he found out that F4 was the name of a group of four guys in a popular KDrama that was a big hit with women. So he named the band F5," Type said. "What? But that makes no sense. Shouldn't they be called F4 since there are four members then? Or would that be plagiarism or something so he went a digit higher?" Tharn asked and Type laughed at his interpretation.

"That would be a lot funnier but, no. They were originally five members hence F5. One of the members booked an acting gig just before they debuted so he chose to leave and work in the lucrative drama industry instead of betting on a new group that might not have made it given how competitive the music scene is," Type explained. "He must really be kicking himself seeing where the band is today," Tharn said with an amused grin. 

"He's doing just fine. He's been in a lot of dramas and movies. But, yeah, whenever we cross paths, he does mention that he should have stayed," Type said.

"So you came up with changing the name to Refresh?" Tharn asked and Type nodded. "Yeah, it was right in front of my face. Literally. I was staring at the keyboard when I thought of it. The CEO is even more thankful that I suggested the change in the name because of the member that left. It would be really weird to debut a band called F5 that only had four members," Type said, making Tharn snort. "Yeah. That would be weird. Also, F5 would probably bring up the image of guns and fighter jets in people's minds and, since you're not catering to boys, that would be unfortunate," Tharn said and Type started to chuckle because he had the same thought when he first heard that name too.

They proceeded to talk about Tharn's company and the future games he was working on developing. Type felt comfortable to be able to have a conversation with Tharn again. There was no awkwardness or lull in conversation which made Type extremely glad. He got so lost in talking to Tharn that he didn't even notice how much his fingers ached to touch Tharn. The longing he had felt for so many years was pushed to the back of his mind for the first time. He was just so happy to be able to sit across from Tharn and have a conversation just like old times.

°°°

  
  


After they had polished off dessert, Type grabbed for his glass of water, which he began to chug heartily. 

"So, are you going to tell me why you stopped talking to me?" Tharn asked, making Type choke on his water. He started to cough violently, worrying Tharn, who got up and frantically started to soothe Type's back, not knowing what to do. That was the first physical contact he had received from Tharn in years. It made his spine tingle, but it came at quite an inopportune moment. Currently, he was focused on not asphyxiating.

After Type was all coughed out, he took a sip of water again and brought a hand up to tell Tharn to stop panicking. Tharn let his hand fall to his side but stood in place as he looked down at Type worriedly. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you that. If you're not comfortable talking about it, we don't have to get into it," Tharn said. Type looked up at him and saw the dejected look on his face for the second time and felt his chest being assaulted by sharp stabs of pent up guilt. He took a deep breath.

"No. You deserve an explanation," Type said, making Tharn widen his eyes in surprise. 

"But I need a drink first," Type said with a sad smile. 

"There is a rooftop bar here," Tharn said, pointing towards the ceiling. Type nodded and got up from his chair. He stood before Tharn and looked at his face closely. Still the devastatingly handsome asshole. How unfair it was that Type couldn't put his arms around him and call him his. Maybe they could at least go back to being friends. That was way more than Type had ever imagined he would get. Getting his friend back was the more pressing need than having his love returned. He had gotten accustomed to his feelings for Tharn, the love, the hurt, all of it was part and parcel of his being now. He wasn't even going to pretend to have gotten over it because he didn't want to lie to himself. He had done enough of that. He was always going to be in love with Tharn and that was okay. 

"Let's go."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so surprised to see this work clocking over a hundred kudos! I don't know how to thank you guys. Both my beta/co-author and I would like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time for reading and leaving comments and kudos on this work.
> 
> The story is not over yet. This is the last arc, but a lot of stuff is still left to be unpacked. 
> 
> Please send your support and love to my one and only beta(now also co-author) so we can get the rest of the chapters out as soon as we can. 
> 
> Apologies if the future chapters are late. As I mentioned before, there is a lot of editing to be done in the rest. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


	36. 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter yet. I hope you enjoy!

Type downed the last of his drink and lightly slammed the glass on the bartop. Tharn looked at him as he nervously grabbed at his own half drunk glass of whiskey soda. "Are you ready to tell me now?" He asked.

Type brought up a finger in the air to stop Tharn from saying anything else. "Not enough. Let me get one more," Type said as he flagged down the bartender and ordered another Cuba libre. 

As soon as the bartender served him his drink, Type put his mouth to the glass and gulped it down in one go, taking Tharn aback. "Now?" Tharn asked eagerly, feeling a little worried because he remembered that Type couldn't handle his alcohol very well. 

Type sat staring at the floor and his leg bouncing, trying to feel the alcohol in his system but he felt stone cold sober and he wasn't ready to talk. He needed the alcohol to dull his inhibitions. He quickly called the bartender and ordered a repeat, making Tharn widen his eyes in surprise and panic. He wondered why Type needed to drink so much to start talking. He suddenly felt a little scared about what was to come.

Type downed the third cocktail of the night and finally felt the little fuzziness starting to kick in at the back of his head. He furrowed his eyebrows and basically burnt a hole in the ground from how hard he had been staring at it, trying to psych himself up to tell Tharn what he wanted to know. He turned to Tharn and was a little thrown by the shocked expression on his face. He saw Tharn's gaze turned to the empty glass he was holding and he figured out why Tharn looked like that. He couldn't help the giggle that escaped his throat with the alcohol having lowered his inhibitions. 

Tharn immediately looked up at Type with the same expression. "You don't have to tell me if you need to down this much alcohol to even start, Type," he said, with a worried frown. Type's chest was suddenly gripped in anxiety when he saw the expression on Tharn's face and kicked himself for being the reason behind it. "No, it's not that. I just wanted to drink. It's been a while since I last drank. This was just an opportunity to do so," Type said to console him. He figured a little white lie was fine because Tharn had taught him that back when he had made him watch the godawful movie that Pina had suggested. 

Tharn's expression relaxed a little as he took a sip of his drink. "Me too. I guess I should catch up with you," he said as he downed his drink and ordered another.

Type fidgeted in his seat, trying to think about how to begin. He had to be really careful with his words here. He wanted to tell Tharn as much of the truth as he could without spilling his feelings. He looked at Tharn who looked quite nervous himself as he swirled his drink around and avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry," Type began. Tharn immediately brought his gaze up to lock eyes with Type's. "I was in a really fucked up place. I might have overreacted but I felt like I had lost everything at once when you told me you were going to stay in Japan," Type continued in a soft voice, with his head bowed.

"What? What happened?" Tharn asked, wide eyed. Type tried to think of how to tell Tharn exactly what happened, omitting the part about his feelings for him, as he looked up into Tharn's worried eyes. "It was just really shit timing for you to have left," Type said. 

"Why?" Tharn asked, even more worried. Type couldn't handle the look on Tharn's face so he looked down at his empty glass as he tried to rearrange his thoughts. "I had broken up with Kemp after I came to see you off at the airport that day," Type said softly. "What? Why didn't you tell me?" Tharn asked, his tone going almost high pitched with the surprise of that revelation. 

Type shrunk in his seat when he turned to look at Tharn and saw the mixture of hurt and confusion on his face. He tried his hardest to come up with how to tell Tharn the reason why he didn't reach out to him without letting on the fact that it was him wanting to get over his feelings for him by cutting contact with him while he was in Japan for the break. "I just didn't want to bother you with it because you had left for work. It wasn't that big a deal. I wasn't in love with him or anything. We were just dating," Type said. Tharn's expression changed to one of utter confusion. "But still, you should have told me. You never kept anything from me. How could you not tell me about something like that?" Tharn asked. Type felt the guilt that had suddenly bubbled up inside him start to constrict his chest. There was a lot he hadn't told Tharn and that he could never tell him.

"I wanted to tell you about it when you came back. It just so happened that….you...didn't," Type trailed off his sentence, now looking at his hands twisting around each other on the bartop and Tharn's face fell. Type's chest constricted even further to see that look of sadness settle on Tharn's features, he patted the bartop and continued. "I really fucked up with Kemp. I wasn't really romantically interested in him. He was a really good friend and he confessed he liked me. I told him that I didn't want to date him because I didn't want to give him false hope. He convinced me that he would be okay with us just casually dating to see how things go so I agreed," Type said, hoping his explanation without the real reason why he agreed to date Kemp was convincing enough.

"But you started dating him in the fourth semester and that happened when I was still in Bangkok. Why didn't you tell me about this?" Tharn asked, revealing a big plothole Type had forgotten to cover in his story. "Umm… you know that we were really busy with class work back then? I hadn't seen you for a while. I didn't have a chance to tell you about it," Type said, trying to cover his tracks. "You could have just called me anytime," Tharn retorted.

"I didn't want to bother you with such a small thing. You were busy with Dinh anyway," Type said, when he suddenly remembered something that made him widen his eyes. "Wait! Dinh! I found you broke up with him when I approached him to ask for your number when the new semester started and I couldn't reach you. You didn't tell me you broke up with Dinh either!" Type said, raising his voice enough to make the people around them turn to look at them, but he was too engrossed in their conversation to pay it any mind. 

"Yeah, I guess we both kept things from each other," Tharn said sheepishly as he took a big gulp of his drink. Type narrowed his eyes at Tharn, the curiosity killing him. "You broke up with him before you left for Japan which means we met after that happened so why didn't  _ you _ tell  _ me _ ?" Type asked. Tharn turned to look at him with sad eyes. "I just didn't want to leave on such a note. It wasn't that serious anyway. I also wasn't in love with him either," Tharn said, his tone changing into one of hurt. 

Type was shocked to hear that. He had always assumed Tharn more than liked him. They had hung out together enough for it to seem like it. He remembered the meltdown he had when he saw them kissing in front of him in the bar, the time Dinh walked out of Tharn's room in nothing but his boxers, the way Dinh clung on to him all the time. Those memories creeping back into his consciousness was leaving a bad taste in Type's mouth. Maybe he needed another drink or something.

"It didn't look like it to me. You looked like you were quite serious with him," Type said, not quite veiling the irritation in his voice. "Really? Well, I didn't love him. I just agreed to date him when he asked me because I didn't see why not. I was single for a while. I realised I couldn't develop feelings for him and he seemed to be taking it too seriously so I decided to break it off before I ended up hurting him any further," Tharn explained and then finished his drink. He turned to order another drink and Type just stared at the back of his head, his thoughts an utter mess. He didn't know what to make of everything Tharn told him. He wondered if he had been honest with him back then, would things have turned out differently? He wondered if he hadn't made the big fuck up of agreeing to date Kemp, would Tharn ever consider dating him? Could the pain of the past half a decade been avoided? Could he have been...happy?

"So, what happened after that? Was it because you found out I broke up with Dinh through him and not me?" Tharn asked as he turned to look at Type, bringing him out of his thoughts. That made Type giggle, Tharn was shit at guessing. Had Tharn told him he had broken up with Dinh, that would have undoubtedly made Type the happiest he had ever been but that wasn't reason enough to cut off a friend. His only friend. Being in love with a friend is just the absolute worst. He internally groaned then composed himself along with his thoughts. "It's funny because that's why I broke up with Kemp too. He told me he loved me and that's when I finally woke up to what I was doing and broke up with him. After that, I basically apologised to him over and over even though he never sent a reply. I felt really guilty for what I had done. On the first day of college, I realised I had truly fucked up because, as soon as I saw him walk in the door, I saw that he was still hurt. He changed his seat and stopped talking to me. I had just lost the closest friend I had in class over my stupidity," Type said.

Tharn furrowed his brows in concern, hearing that part of the story. "Oh. I'm really sorry, Type," Tharn said as he moved his hand to Type's shoulder. Type felt heat travel down from where Tharn was touching him and winced. Tharn seeing his reaction, immediately pulled his hand away. "Sorry," he said as he stared at the floor. Type turned his head up to look at the hurt expression on Tharn's face and his heart twisted again. "No, it's not your fault. I was just thinking about what happened next," Type said and Tharn looked back up at him. Type had a far off look on his face as he began to recount his frantic effort to reach Tharn that time.

"After that I tried to text and call you for days but your number was unreachable. I decided to go to Dinh to get your number because you were the only friend I was left with. When I found out you had broken up with Dinh and never told me about it, it broke me a little. I realise that was silly now because I hadn't told you I broke up with Kemp either, but that's not where my brain was at back then because I had just lost a friend. So when I finally found out from Dinh that I could just reach you on Instagram, I was over the moon," Type said sadly. Tharn felt his body go numb because he knew what was coming next. 

"I was in a really bad place mentally because of everything that had happened and when you told me you weren't coming back, I broke. I had lost not only Kemp, but also my closest friend in the span of one week. I realised that I had made a mistake by trying to open up to people because the two friends I had managed to make, both left me. I made a decision that day that I was done. I wasn't going to let myself get hurt again," Type said, suddenly feeling drained after letting it all out. The memories were far too vivid in his head. The endless crying, being barely alive, spending the rest of his college life with his head down in the corner. He may have never reopened his social media accounts but he didn't have to, he remembered his last conversation with Tharn verbatim. "So you stopped talking to me because I made you feel like I abandoned you too?" Tharn said, his voice breaking when the gravity of what had happened to Type finally dawned on him.

Type felt his breath catch when he heard Tharn's voice tremble but he was close to crying too so he decided not to look at him because he knew he wouldn't be able to hold himself back if he saw the look on Tharn's face. It wasn't Tharn's fault, this was all Type and he needed to let Tharn know. He didn't want to be responsible for how Tharn's voice had started to sound. He never wanted to be something that caused Tharn pain. It was a little true that he did feel abandoned but the decision to cut off all ties was solely Type's anger and hurt. He took a few shallow breaths to calm himself down before he replied. "Yeah, sort of. But it was mostly to do with me. It all started with my own fuck up and it was wrong of me to then turn around and decide to cut all contact with you. I was just in a really bad place. I'm sorry," Type said as he turned to look at Tharn. He immediately felt his chest tighten when he saw that Tharn's eyes were glazed over with tears. "Why the fuck are you apologising to me? It's my fault. I shouldn't have left. I should have just come back. I was being selfish by deciding to stay in Japan. I left you all alone," Tharn said, the tears already spilling over. Type was scared because he could see that Tharn didn't hear a word of what he said about it not being Tharn's fault. Tharn was clearing blaming himself for something  _ he _ had done and the guilt was eating him alive. Some things never change.

Type leaned forward and grabbed Tharn by the shoulders forcing him to turn towards him. "No. You're not going to blame yourself. This is something I did. I was the one who ended our friendship. You didn't even know what was happening with me because I never told you. You aren't responsible for any of this. It was my fault. Do you understand?" He said as he shook his shoulders. Tharn's face contorted further in pain. "No, Type. I know that you didn't tell me but I didn't reach out to ask you if everything was okay either. I was such a shitty friend. I understand why you did what you did and I will not hold it against you if you don't want to be friends with me anymore," Tharn said brokenly. Type gripped his shoulders tighter in frustration because he wanted to shake Tharn out of his annoying habit of blaming himself for everything, especially when he didn't even know the real reason why Type had done what he had. 

"Shut the fuck up! If you don't stop talking right now, I  _ will _ slap the shit out of you. This was my fault not yours. Do you understand me?" Type asked firmly, squeezing Tharn's shoulder with one hand. He lifted his other hand and mentally debated with himself before he brought it to Tharn's face and rested it on his cheek. He felt Tharn lean into his touch and more tears seemed to make their way down his face. Type was fighting his own tears and the sight of Tharn, now clutching his hand to his face and crying, wasn't doing his heart any favours. Tharn shut his eyes in denial, Type wiped his tears as they fell. Type was frustrated even further as he felt the sting of the tears threatening to fill up his eyes. "Tharn, I swear to god, if you blame yourself for this, I am going to die of the guilt that will cause me," Type said as he pressed his hand against Tharn's cheek and squeezed his shoulder. Tharn immediately snapped his head up to look at Type and saw the tears swimming in his eyes and his face contorted in pain. "I'm sorry, Type! I'm really sorry. I didn't know that's how you feel. I'm literally such a terrible friend. I am making you feel even worse," Tharn said, grabbing Type's hand off his face and pressing it to his chest in panic. Type seeing that his tears were having the right effect on Tharn because he had stopped blaming himself, decided to carry on. "I'll feel a lot better if you agree that this was my fault," Type said as he stared down at his lap. "I can't blame you for anything. You know that, Type," Tharn said, his eyes shining but no longer wet.

Type knew he was asking too much from Tharn but he had to shoot his shot so he decided to change his strategy. "Okay, then how about you assign eighty percent of the blame on me?" Type asked as he brought his head up to look at Tharn. As soon as Tharn saw the look on Type's face, he felt a little relieved because he was making light of the situation by bargaining with him. He shook his head no. "Okay, fine! Fifty-fifty? We both should have talked to each other instead of trying to deal with our shit on our own," Type said with a ring of finality to his voice. Tharn thought about it for a second and then nodded his head. "Okay, I'm fine with that."

Type, seeing that Tharn looked a lot better, broke into the smallest smile and nodded to himself. "Okay. So let's drink to us equally fucking up. Drown some stupid decisions we may have made," Type suggested. Tharn returned a genuine smile to Type, if somewhat wetly, who felt lighter at seeing Tharn smiling again. "Okay," Tharn said as he called the bartender and ordered them both a drink. 

°°°

  
  


They both drank and talked about everything they had missed in the time they were apart as they laughed and joked, each feeling more relaxed and happy. 

"Why did you never reply to my emails?" Tharn asked once they were both quite buzzed and the question was burning in the back of his mind. Type flashed back to the day he found out about them and smiled. He had read all of the emails Tharn had sent him over and over for the last few days, feeling giddy. "I didn't know about them. I just happened to log into that email account for the first time the day I sent you a message. I hadn't used that account since the day you told me you weren't coming back," Type said, making Tharn stare at him with knitted brows. "No wonder. I felt a little bad about the fact that you weren't replying to me for so long but it became a habit for me to send you an email every once in a while. It really calmed me down when I poured out everything happening with me and sending it to you even though you never replied. It made me feel like I still had a friend somewhere," Tharn said sadly. 

Type was assaulted with guilt at the tone of his voice. It did soothe him to hear that he still meant enough to Tharn for him to send him the hundreds of mails that he had read over more times than he was ready to admit, but he still felt guilty for not doing the same for Tharn because Tharn didn't really deserve what Type had dished him. Tharn wanted nothing but a friend and Type had taken that away from him because he couldn't get over him back then. 

"I'm sorry. I read them all that day," Type said, taking Tharn aback. "What? How? That's five years worth of emails," Tharn asked. Type felt embarrassment crawling up on his face in the form of the blush that he knew was colouring his face. "I just…. I didn't have much going on that day so I read them," Type said sheepishly making Tharn laugh. 

"You just told me you hardly have time to sleep on any given day. How did you find time to read hundreds of emails?" Tharn asked and Type felt even more embarrassed for giving him a dumb excuse. "I read hundreds of emails everyday as a manager of a popular band. It didn't take that long," Type said, relieved to come up with a more plausible excuse and Tharn nodded. "Oh, yeah. That makes sense," Tharn went back to his drink and Type took a mental sigh of relief.

"So, you haven't told me anything about your dating life. Are you seeing anybody? Did you date anyone after Kemp?" Tharn asked as he turned to look at Type curiously. Type felt his heart thump really loudly at that question. "I…. I don't really have time for that. I'm too busy. I even had to ditch a photoshoot to come see you today," Type said honestly. Tharn raised his eyebrows in surprise at that revelation. "Really? You haven't dated anyone since Kemp?" Tharn asked, shock evident on his face. 

"I just told you I've been too busy. You don't need to rub the fact that you're dating the most popular actress in all of Japan in my face," Type said, looking away from Tharn so he wouldn't be able to see the hurt in his eyes. Tharn furrowed his brows and then threw his head back and laughed. Type turned to look at him, feeling a lot more annoyed than hurt at the moment.

"You've been reading gossip columns about me?" Tharn asked once he was all laughed out. Type felt his face heat up again and felt like an idiot for not controlling his tongue that was loosened by the alcohol. "I just saw it in passing. I follow gaming news so it just happened to pop up in my feed one day," Type said, trying to sound nonchalant. 

"I'm not dating anyone," Tharn said and Type's heart started to race. "I was meeting her for a business dinner because we wanted her to voice one of the characters in an expansion pack. She called the paparazzi on us. I was equally impressed and horrified when I found out about it," Tharn continued. 

Type stared at Tharn in disbelief. What Tharn had just told him meant that Tharn was single. Type felt excitement bubbling in his belly. He stopped himself immediately because he knew he couldn't give in to those emotions. He knew that Tharn saw him as a friend and he had made that mistake with Kemp once. Tharn had never behaved in a manner that told Type he saw him more than a friend. Even after having slept together, Tharn still treated him like a friend and even made light of it. So, no Type could not let his heart hope for something more. He'd fallen into a nice rhythm the last few years, where he had learnt to live with his love for Tharn without it destroying him. He'd just gained control, giving it up for a spark of hope did not seem like a good bargain to him.

"Anyone you want to date? I'm pretty sure you can point your finger at anyone and they would agree to date you immediately," Type said instead and then chuckled. Tharn broke into a smile and lifted his index finger to point at him. 

Type froze. His brain stopped functioning. His stomach was assaulted by butterflies and his heart started to beat out of his chest. He hadn't seen this coming at all. Had Tharn always liked him too? Did this mean that they had just wasted the past few years? Was he an idiot for cutting all contact with Tharn? He felt a thrill run up his spine. The wall of denial finally fell because just a slight indication of Tharn feeling the same way about him made him lose his bearings. All the reasons he had made up in his head to not tell Tharn about how he really felt finally came down to fear. Fear of rejection or worse, indifference. He couldn't find the words in his mind to answer Tharn so he just stared at him, wide eyed and mouth agape. 

Tharn grinned with his finger still pointing at him. Type felt his mind finally connecting to his body to form a reply, but before he could, Tharn chuckled and turned the finger towards the bartender and the excitement that Type was feeling in his belly immediately extinguished. Tharn called the bartender to place another order and turned to ask Type what he wanted. "I'll have a Long Island Iced Tea," Type said with a smile. He tried really hard to make it look genuine because his heart was breaking all over again. He wanted to laugh at his pathetic self. One indication and he'd heard wedding bells. Stupid stupid Type. After making excuses to himself for years, he'd admitted to fear being the driving force behind him keeping his mouth shut within a nanosecond of when he thought Tharn was confessing to him. Of course it was a joke, just like Type's entire life.

Type downed two drinks and decided he was done. The last few hours felt like a rollercoaster ride and he just wanted to go home to sober up and catch a breath to make sense of everything. Or maybe wallow in his newfound sadness, maybe cry until Christmas, whatever. He turned to tell Tharn he wanted to leave when he saw Tharn was smiling at him fondly and felt his breath catch in his throat again. The words were lost in his throat. 

"There is a club in the next building. Do you want to dance this alcohol off?" Tharn asked, showing him a standee advertising it next to the bar. Type contemplated for a second and figured it made sense. He did want to sober up but he felt his heart melt when he saw the smile Tharn was giving him. He was in big trouble. But he was quite buzzed so he decided that he was going to let a more sober Type deal with the consequences of his realisations because drunk Type wanted to spend more time with the man who was most definitely the love of his entire stupid life. "Let's go," Type said as he jumped off the bar stool and lost his balance a little, forgetting that he was a little, no, a lot drunk. Tharn immediately put his arms out to grab Type by the side of his arms to steady him and Type felt like he was hit by lightning. 

"Are you okay?" Tharn asked in concern. Type shook himself away from where his mind was wandering off to and nodded. "Yeah, my legs just fell asleep," he said. "Oh, okay. Let's go then," Tharn said as he let go off Type's arms, much to his chagrin. Type sighed and followed him out. 

°°°

  
  


"My god, this place is crowded," Tharn said, leaning into Type's ear as they entered the club. Type felt a shiver run down his spine at their closeness and realised he was already sober enough. He needed to be a little more drunk to be able to get through the rest of the evening. 

He grabbed Tharn's arm, ignoring the things that did to his heart, and started weaving through the crowd to reach the bar. He turned around to look at a surprised Tharn and smiled at him. Type made a drinking motion with his hand because he didn't want to get anywhere close to Tharn to cut through the noise of the place, afraid of what that would do to his already racing heart. Tharn nodded and Type turned back to the bar to get the attention of the bartender. 

Type took the two shot glasses and turned to hand one to Tharn. They both clinked their glasses and quickly downed it. Type hated the after taste but he sucked on the lime to chase it away because he needed that shot of tequila. It was the one drink that got him drunk quickly, as he had found out over the years. 

Tharn moved towards him and Type froze when he felt his breath in his ear. "Can you drink more because I want to drink a few more shots," Tharn said and moved back to look at him. Type knew that he definitely needed more because of the way every nerve in his body lit up when Tharn came that close to him so he nodded in affirmation, the irony of them originally coming here to sober up not lost on him. Tharn smiled and took his place in front of the bar and ordered them a tray of six shots. 

Type widened his eyes when he saw the amount of alcohol that Tharn was holding, but he figured he really did need to get drunk so he picked up the first glass. They quickly downed the shots one after another in quick succession and Type felt his body finally feel loose. He saw Tharn smiling at him and he felt warmth pooling in his belly, aside from the burn of the alcohol he was already feeling. He turned around to look at the people dancing and stared at a couple grinding against each other. It looked way too lewd, even for a club, so he turned to show Tharn, but before he could, he felt Tharn dragging him towards the dancefloor. He was really confused but he followed him on shaky legs. 

Tharn stopped when they reached somewhere in the middle and turned towards him. As soon as he saw the look on Tharn's face, he knew that Tharn was really drunk so he smiled in amusement. This was the first time he had been sober enough to see what Tharn looked like drunk because he was always equally as drunk all those other times, if not more. His amusement immediately turned to abject shock when Tharn grabbed his waist and pulled him closer to him. Type felt Tharn snake his arms around his back, engulfing him in a warm embrace as he started to sway to the music. 

Type felt every nerve in his body ignite. He knew Tharn was too drunk to know what he was doing and he was quite buzzed himself. He had gotten a lot better at handling his alcohol over the years but he could see that Tharn hadn't. He decided to let the reservation in his mind go and just enjoy being in the embrace of someone he loved with his whole heart. He was confident that Tharn was definitely not going to remember this the next day, like he had the last time this happened, so he decided to let it happen as he brought his arms to return his embrace and started to move along with him to the music. 

Type never loosened his grip on Tharn's back and neither did Tharn. Type felt content and happy in the moment. He knew that he'd have to wake up from this dream come morning so he nestled his head further into the crook of Tharn's neck as he took a big, intoxicating whiff of his familiar cologne. He felt like he was home again after such a long time. The alcohol helped him enjoy being so close to Tharn. He knew he loved him more than ever and it was something that was probably never going to change. He would just have to live with it. He'd had more revelations tonight and he was just as much in love with Tharn if not more. He knew that he'd never have the courage to tell Tharn the honest to God truth. 

However, Type knew that Tharn was really drunk and wasn't going to remember a thing the next day because of how many times it had happened before. He felt like it was the perfect opportunity for him to finally tell him exactly what had been plaguing his mind for the better part of a decade without having to deal with the aftermath. It was cowardly on Type's part, but this was the only way he'd be able to. Maybe this could be his closure. Maybe the reason why Tharn was still burrowed in Type's heart was because he'd never been about to voice out his feelings to Tharn. Now was his chance. Maybe after tonight, he could finally start healing. He'd said goodbye to Tharn in so many ways before but this was one way that he hadn't tried. 

He hugged Tharn tighter as he raised his head to lean his temple against Tharn's and brought his lips close to his ears. His body tensed at the realisation of what he was about to do. He took a deep breath to calm himself and closed his eyes. He didn't even realise he had started to cry. He felt the warm tears roll down his face slowly as he finally found the courage to open his heart and whispered,

"I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being the length of about two of my regular chapters so it took a while to edit. 
> 
> I'd like to thank beta for this. Beta, you really make my work come to life with the addition of a couple of sentences. I can't even begin to understand how you can make the story so vivid. Skills! Thank you.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!


	37. 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for making you wait for the new chapter. And sorry for this chapter. Haha

**_5 Years Ago_ **

"Me. He's dating me. Kemp and I are dating."

Tharn's world stopped as soon as he heard those words fall out of Type's mouth. He couldn't react and his mind started going on overdrive. Things finally connected in his head. Type always calling Kemp to join them, Kemp being the only person he ever talked about, Type being missing for the last few weeks; which probably meant he was hanging out with Kemp the whole time. The realisation crashed onto him like a ton of bricks. He had been so blind to it the whole time. His best friend had probably liked Kemp for a while now and he didn't even see the signs. 

Tharn realised why their body language seemed so different and why it stuck out to him. It was because they had finally started dating and that he wasn't just seeing things. He stared at Kemp, who was smiling at Type with affection in his eyes, and it made his insides tighten. He didn't know why he was feeling whatever he was feeling so he decided he'd rather drink the feeling away so he quickly flagged down a server.

"A tray of shots," Tharn said and Dinh squealed in excitement from beside him, confusing him to no end. "Yes! We should celebrate Type and Kemp's good news with some shots. Great idea, babe!" Dinh grinned at him. Tharn was a little thrown because he had ordered the shots for himself, but he finally snapped out of it and realised how it would have looked if he downed a whole tray of shots by himself when he was sitting with three other people and smiled back at Dinh nervously. 

"Yeah…. to celebrate," he said as he shifted his gaze to Type. As soon as their eyes met, Type darted his eyes towards the table, away from him, and stared at his beer bottle. It made Tharn feel even weirder. He wondered if he was hallucinating. He knew that Type never behaved like that with him. He wondered if it was because Type was just embarrassed about not telling him that he liked Kemp earlier. Before he could think any further, the server placed their shots on their table and Dinh started to clap excitedly. 

Tharn trained his gaze on the shots to stop his mind from getting away from him. Dinh grabbed a shot glass and the rest of the table followed suit. "To Kemp and Type," Dinh announced with his glass in the air. Tharn saw Kemp put up his glass with a big smile on his face and felt his chest starting to get heavy. He then saw Type raise his glass with his eyes on Kemp. Tharn could feel his chest grow heavier so he quickly put his glass up and clinked it and quickly drank the shot. He immediately grabbed another, without waiting for the rest of the people, and downed that too. 

Tharn's mind was too jumbled to even care what it looked like if he drank the rest of the shots at that point because he needed to numb his thoughts. He grabbed two of them and downed them one after another, not paying any mind to the surprised stares of the people around the table. 

°°°

  
  


"I'll go home with you," Dinh said after they had separated from Kemp and Type at the taxi stand. Tharn really wanted to be alone. He didn't even know why but he knew that he didn't need Dinh talking at him non stop for hours when he had too much on his mind already. 

"I have a lot of work to do. Not today," he said. Dinh's face turned into a familiar frown, telling Tharn what was coming next because he had dealt with it for the past month. Dinh always went off on him every time he tried to get out of hanging out with him but telling him he had work always seemed to work so he decided to shoot his shot. "It's 12 in the night. What do you mean you have work to do? Do you just not want me there?" Dinh asked in an accusatory tone. 

Tharn shrank a little because Dinh caught his lie very accurately. "No, I really have work. I need to finish rendering the character movements by this weekend. It takes a lot of time so I need to get on it right now," Tharn said, trying to sound as convincing as he could. Dinh huffed in annoyance and walked towards the line of taxis. Tharn stared at his back, not knowing the consequence he would face for this, but he didn't have the mental capacity to deal with it at the moment. He sighed and slowly walked to get a taxi of his own. 

As soon as he got into his apartment, he made his way to the living room. He fell into the couch face first and rolled his body to face the ceiling with a groan. He stared at the shadows that the light coming into the room through the sliding doors made in the darkened room; as his mind went into the memories from the night. 

He couldn't understand why he felt so blindsided by Kemp and Type dating. It made no sense to him. He couldn't understand why he felt so uncomfortable when Type announced they were together because Type had been talking about Kemp since the first day they started hanging out. Type seemed to like him from the beginning.

Tharn rubbed his face with his palms in frustration. He figured Type had just realised he liked Kemp more than a friend because he had been suppressing his sexuality for so long. He had a big hand in Type figuring that out for himself and maybe that was why he felt like an idiot for not realising Type's attraction to Kemp sooner. 

But the way he was feeling still didn't make complete sense to him. He started to draw circles on his chest with his palm to soothe the heaviness he was feeling inside his ribcage. Why was Type dating Kemp making him feel so goddamn uneasy? Why was there a lump in his throat?

That's when it hit him as he got up into a sitting position. This was the first time Type was dating a man. Watching him date a man after thinking Type was straight all this time was bound to throw him off balance a little. It wasn’t weird or anything, it was just something he wasn't used to. Also, Type was probably hesitant to talk about it because Kemp wasn't a random person he'd met. They had been friends for a while and Type was probably not comfortable talking about how his feelings for him had changed. He chuckled in relief and pushed himself off the couch. He walked to the switchboard and turned on the light and winced at the sudden brightness. 

Since he had calmed his mind, he figured he might as well go and work on his game because he wasn't at all sleepy. Also, it would make him feel less guilty because, if he worked on his game, it would mean that he didn't really lie to Dinh. 

He booted up his PC and stared at his reflection in the black loading screen, the thought of Type and Kemp now dating still gnawing at him, but he had worked through why he was feeling that way so he quickly shook the thought away as he loaded the game.

°°°

  
  


After a few days of trying to accept the fact that Type was now dating Kemp, Tharn still felt really uneasy about it all. He was at his wits end trying to understand why he was finding it so hard to stop feeling that way. He figured it was because he hadn't been around them as a couple and that he just needed to get used to seeing them together. He reached for his phone to ask Type to hang out on the weekend so he could finally rest his mind. 

'Let's do something this weekend. Bring Kemp.'

'Can't do this weekend. 

Kemp wants me to hang out with him at his place.'

Tharn felt his chest tighten when he read Type's reply. He figured it was just because it meant that he would have to sit with these uncomfortable feelings for longer.

'Oh, like a date?'

'Yeah.

I guess.'

'Haha

Cool.

Have fun on your  **date** then.'

'You too, asshole.'

Tharn felt guilt engulf his body when he realised he completely forgot about his own boyfriend. Dinh hadn't reached out to him since he had walked away that day at the bar. Tharn had been a little relieved for not having to deal with him which made him feel all the more guilty. 

He wondered if he should just text Dinh to hang out on the weekend since he couldn't see Type anyway. He quickly opened Dinh's chatbox before he could change his mind.

°°°

  
  
  


'Dinh found this new bar in town. Let's go on Saturday.

Bring Kemp along.'

'We're busy this weekend.

Kemp has a game out of the city on the weekend and I'm going with him.'

'Oh, really?

Is this a couple getaway?'

'It would seem so.'

'Hahaha

Alright.

Wish him luck from my side.

Have fun this weekend.'

'Yeah, you guys too.'

Tharn felt his heart sink when he read his last message. This was the second week that Type was hanging out with Kemp without him. It made perfect sense because they were dating after all, but it just made him feel off. He kept reminding himself why he was feeling the way he did over and over again but it had stopped working a week ago. The heaviness that was only concentrated in his chest initially had spread to his whole body, tainting his thoughts too. 

The thought of being around Dinh on the weekend was making him feel very uncomfortable. Dinh had been a lot more clingy lately and always trying to visit him at all hours of the day. Tharn had to literally bore the hell out of him by sitting in front of his computer to show him he was working every time he showed up unannounced till he got tired and left. 

He was feeling guilty about it, but he already had a lot on his mind. Feeling guilty about not wanting to be around Dinh was the least of his problems at the moment. 

He opened his emails to see that Yuta from his team in Japan had sent him a mail and quickly clicked on it to see if he had sent him over any other notes as he started to read the email. 

_ Hey, _

_ The team was discussing how to optimise the coding for the upcoming scenes when Tanaka suggested that you should come to Japan for the next few months so we can work more efficiently. I believe your semester break is coming up so that would be the perfect opportunity. We've already rented out a house and it can be a vacation for you too. _

_ I know we've discussed this before, but it would make a lot more sense if you took a transfer to our university so we can all be in the same place. It'll be more convenient because the rest of us are based here.  _

_ We can discuss it further when you come to Japan.  _

_ Let me know what you think. _

_ Yuta _

Visiting Japan sounded like a good suggestion. He quickly sent a reply agreeing to fly to Japan over the break and switched over to his work window. He figured it would be a good idea for him to just concentrate on work for a few months because his thoughts had been all over the place the last few weeks. 

°°°

  
  
  


'There is a play happening at De'arc Amphitheatre this weekend. We should all go.'

'Which day?'

Tharn felt his heartbeat spike in excitement because Type hadn't shot him down immediately.

'Saturday at 4 PM'

'Oh, damn.

We're busy that day.

Kemp wants to take me to a theme park he used to love to go to when he was younger.

He made a big deal about it so I have to comply as his boyfriend.'

'Not an issue.

Have fun on your date.'

'Yeah. You guys have fun on yours.'

Tharn tossed his phone on his bed in frustration. He couldn't understand why the thought of spending another week without seeing Type was driving him up the wall. He had a fleeting thought of making Kemp disappear so he could have his friend back but immediately discarded it, knowing that Type was probably happy if they were doing all of those fun things together. But he couldn't help the sinking feeling when he realised he'd have to hang out one on one with Dinh again.

Things had not been going well between them. Dinh had been accusing him of ignoring him and not wanting to be around him. Tharn had taken time out on the weekends to hang with him at least once so the guilt didn't entirely consume him, but Dinh wasn't completely wrong. He knew he should have never agreed to date him out of pity, but he had already made his bed and he had to lie in it. He didn't even have a good enough excuse to justify breaking up with Dinh so he felt like he had no other choice but to accept and embrace the mistake he had made.

°°°

  
  


Tharn was writing a line of code when his eyes fell on his phone. A message lit up the screen and he sighed when he saw it was Dinh. He then noticed the date and realised it was Wednesday, the day he usually texted Type. He unconsciously reached for his phone and opened up Type's chat window. 

Before he started to type a message, he saw the last conversation they’d had a week ago. He scrolled up and started to read the messages from the previous weeks. His chest constricted with every word he read because the texts were all to do with Type rejecting his invitation to hang out with him. He couldn't understand when their friendship changed so much. Type had stopped sharing things with him. He was no better because he hadn't shared a single thing that was going on with him and Dinh either. At least Type seemed happy with Kemp. Enough to want to hang out with only him for weeks on end. 

He missed Type terribly but, as he read the messages from the past weeks, he realised Type would only reject his offer to hang out again. He had just started dating Kemp, so he could understand that Type wanted to hang out with his boyfriend. He couldn't just try to insert himself between them. He felt the knots in his stomach tightening painfully as he locked his phone and went back to his work. 

°°°

  
  


The next week, on Tuesday, Tharn's mind was still plagued by the predicament he was in with Dinh and the fact that he had made no progress in accepting Type being in a relationship as he made his way out of the administrative building after filing some paperwork. He really missed Type. He wanted to see him, even if it was just to say hi. He hadn't seen his face for the better part of a month and seeing him always made him feel better. 

With that thought in mind, he rounded the hallway to enter the lobby. He tore his gaze away from the floor to look up and came to a stop. He broke into a grin when he saw Type standing in the lobby with his head down, staring at his phone with a scowl. He wondered if Type was confused about something to do with social media, given how bad he was at it. That thought and seeing Type's face already made him feel lighter.

He raised his hand to call out to him.

"Type!"

Tharn turned to the direction the voice that called out to Type came from, before he had the chance to do the same. His face fell when his eyes landed on Kemp. Tharn watched as he walked up to Type with a smile plastered on his face, his chest starting to feel heavy again at the sight. He then shifted his gaze to Type and his heart stopped. 

Type, who had been looking like he was frustrated by something, was now beaming at Kemp. Kemp had completely turned his mood around by just showing up and it didn't sit well with him because...because...that used to be him. He was supposed to be the one that brought that smile on Type’s face. The way Type was looking at Kemp made his insides turn. Type only ever looked at Tharn like that. He felt replaced. He felt…..betrayed? He felt so many things in a span of mere seconds that he had to brace himself against the wall. Whatever he was feeling, he could not tear his eyes away from Type.

Type was looking at Kemp like he was the only person in the world. That thought made Tharn’s breath catch in his throat as he was suddenly slapped in the face with the realisation behind why he was feeling the way he had been for the past few weeks. He understood why he had been uncomfortable since the day he found out about Type and Kemp as it all finally clicked in his head, seeing how Type smiled so happily at Kemp. He watched as they turned around and began to walk away from the building. As he watched them go, he felt like he had been hit by a tidal wave. As the emotions steamrolled his entire body, the sight of the back of Type’s head suddenly blurred. He was shocked at the intensity of his emotions as his hand flew to his mouth to muffle the sudden sob that was trying to make it past his clenched teeth.

As Tharn stood there, hand over mouth and braced against the wall, the only thought he had was, ‘I like Type. Maybe more than just like. More than a friend. More than a brother…’

He was utterly…. fucked.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did warn you guys that this work is just a whole lot of angst so you can't be mad at me. (I'm sorry if you are.)
> 
> The comments on the previous chapter were so fun to read. I'm almost scared to see what you guys will say about this one. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is the reason why I hadn't written the previous chapters through Tharn's perspective. It would have killed me to write that much angst together. Hahaha
> 
> Thanks beta/co-author! You did it again. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


	38. 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for uploading this late. But it's here!   
> 🙏

Tharn somehow made it back home, lost in thought about the situation he currently found himself in. His relationship was a sham, the only thing keeping him in it was his stupid, guilty nature and now he had discovered that, the entire time, he had very real feelings for his oldest friend. 

He dropped his backpack on the carpet and once again fell into his couch, not finding enough strength to make it to his bedroom. He curled into a fetal position and stared at the empty wall, wishing his mind could be just as empty at the moment because the onslaught of emotions was tiring him to a point where he couldn't distinguish one from the other. They were just a jumbled mess, making him feel a paradoxical amount of numbness and pain. 

He hugged his knees closer to his body as he tried to line up the events that had escalated to his current predicament. He knew his friendship with Type had always been special to him but he couldn't figure out when things changed for him, or if it was always this way. He shook that thought when he remembered Pina. He loved her. Truly loved her. He never had it in him to cheat on someone he was dating, even emotionally, because the guilt of it would kill him, so he figured it happened somewhere after their breakup. 

He remembered how Type stayed by his side for a whole month after the fiasco with Pina and wondered if that was the catalyst. He tried to wrack his brain to remember everything that happened in that month, but nothing jumped out to him. He just recalled practically living on the same couch he was currently lying in throughout that time period till the day Type dragged him out to a bar that fateful night. He widened his eyes, remembering that was the first night he had slept in his room, but what followed after discovering he had slept with Type was pure chaos. Type had told him about the reason for his hasty departure and the pain that Tharn had felt when he heard what Type had been living with for years. He remembered how his heart shattered into a million pieces to think that the Type who he saw as his saviour and his only friend when they were children, had gone through something so heartbreaking. The trauma that Type had experienced is something no one should have to live through.

Tharn recalled their childhood and how Type was instrumental in him figuring out he liked guys early on in life because, when he looked back on their time together, he knew what he felt for Type was more than friendship. Type had been nothing but a beacon of light in his life, saving him from his lonely childhood and helping him discover something so crucial to his identity when he was younger. 

He remembered how inconsolable he was for the next few years after Type left without a word and he couldn't get in touch with him. He figured that's when he had moved on from Type. All those years apart had probably healed his heart. 

His phone rang, breaking him from his thoughts and his breath caught in his throat, wondering if it was Type calling. He straightened his leg and reached for the phone in his pocket and winced when he saw the name flashing on the screen. 

Dinh. He wasn't in the place to talk to him so he put his phone on silent and ignored his call. He had enough on his plate to deal with at the moment so he figured he'd deal with the consequences of ignoring him when he wasn't having a literal breakdown. He tossed his phone on the far side of the couch and curled up into a ball again.

His mind went back to the image of Type smiling at Kemp earlier in the day and he felt his chest tighten painfully. He couldn't for the life of him figure out when his feelings for Type reignited. He didn't see any moment that stuck out to him. Being around Type just made him happy and comfortable throughout. He was sceptical about them getting along in the beginning because of how much time had passed since they last saw each other, but things had gone back to the way they were when they were kids pretty smoothly. Being friends with Type was as easy as breathing for him. Not seeing him for the past month or so had made him feel really uncomfortable, like he was missing a piece of himself. He straightened himself and stared at the ceiling when he realised why he felt that way. It wasn't the friendship that was easy as breathing, Type was the air he needed in his lungs. The realisation brought with it a familiar sting behind his eyes.

He let the tears stream down his face as he felt like an utter fool for not realising his feelings for Type sooner. He was in a relationship solely based on guilt, unhappy and Type was once again snached away from him. He felt more like an idiot at that last thought because Type obviously didn't see them as anything more than friends. It was clear as day that Type was happy with Kemp and that he had probably liked him for a long while without realising it himself. He was never going to be with Type and that thought made him curl back into a fetal position, staring blankly at the same wall again.

Type was in a relationship. Type would never like him back the way he did. He knew that he had to get these feelings out of his system and he knew just how to do that, because he had done it once in the past. 

His phone suddenly lit up the darkened room. He had been lying on his couch for hours without even realising when the sun went down. He wondered if it was Dinh trying to reach him again and he felt that familiar tug of guilt inside him. He figured he needed to talk to him after everything he had found out about himself today so he stretched his hand to reach for his phone. He unlocked it and, as soon as he saw the notification, his heart jumped to his throat.

'Hey! You want to hang out on the weekend?'

He stared at the message from Type as his brain went into overdrive. A part of him wanted to see him, but he knew he couldn't. That was the only way he could get over him. He looked up and darted his eyes around in the darkness trying to come up with an excuse. He looked at his phone screen and his eyes landed on the date and his brain finally formulated the perfect excuse.

'Can't do. I'm going home this weekend.'

'What? Is everything alright? No one is sick, right?'

Tharn was very confused by his reply. He needed to play it off, without raising any suspicions so he started typing again.

'Hahaha!

What?'

'You're going home on a weekend.

You never go home on a weekend.

It's not farfetched for me to assume that it might be because of something serious.'

He chuckled at Type’s response and immediately felt his heart squeeze because of how easily he had forgotten about the mental breakdown he was going through mere minutes ago. This was all the more reason for him to follow through with his plan.

'It is for something serious.'

'Really?

Are your parents okay?

Your siblings?

Your dog?'

'They're fine, Type. 

I'm going home for exam prep. 

I can't be bothered to cook, clean and also study at the same time. 

I have some difficult subjects this time. I'm going home so I can concentrate on studying.'

'Oh, okay.

You're making me feel like a bad student who wants to hang out two weeks before finals.'

'That's because you are.'

'Excuse me?

I'm literally 2nd in class.'

'Yeah, that just means you're good at studying. Doesn't mean you're a good student.'

'Touché'

'I have to go back to my books now.

All the best for the finals.'

'Yeah.

You too.

See you'

Tharn smiled at Type's parting words and the painful stabs in his chest resumed as he thought about what he was going to do. He laid back down on the couch as he scrolled through their messages from the beginning and read them through. He smiled, he cried and he laughed as he remembered all the events attached to the series of messages. 

He made up a streamlined plan for what he was going to do for the next few days. He reached for his phone and sent Dinh a message. He quickly locked his phone, but his eyes fell on the time before the screen went black. It was already 4 AM in the morning and he had class in three and a half hours. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep so he decided to turn to his other side and stared out the balcony window till the sun rose up again.

°°°

  
  


Tharn walked back into his apartment after a busy day of filing paperwork and getting everything settled with his university before the exams. He was still in the clothes from the day before, and couldn’t find the strength to change, shower or eat. He felt hollow inside, mostly from everything that was coming and not so much because he hadn’t eaten a morsel for over twenty-four hours. His doorbell rang and he let out a heavy sigh as he pushed himself off the couch to open the door, all the while preparing himself for what was about to transpire. 

"I'm surprised you invited me here.The past few weeks felt like I'm the only one in this relationship," Dinh said as he walked into the apartment, annoyed. Tharn hesitated by the door, slowly closing it and walking with his head down towards Dinh. 

"You're not even going to deny it? Really?" Dinh asked and Tharn finally looked up at him to see the look of disdain on his face. He wanted to start off but Dinh cut him off again. "Have you just called me here to stare at my face? Say something! An apology and an explanation would be nice," he said, crossing his arms in front of his body.

Tharn looked at the floor and sighed, knowing he couldn't stall. He looked back up and gestured for Dinh to sit down. Dinh stared at him suspiciously, but turned around to sit down on the couch. Tharn followed him and sat down next to him. 

"I have something important to tell you," Tharn began, training his gaze at the coffee table. "What?" Dinh shifted in his seat, staring at Tharn. 

Tharn, mustering his courage finally turned to look at Dinh. "Let's break up," he said and saw Dinh's eyes widen. "What the fuck? What do you mean?" Dinh jumped up from the couch and stared down at Tharn. 

"Let's break up," Tharn said again, not breaking eye contact with Dinh. "It's because of Type, isn't it?" Dinh asked in an accusatory tone. Tharn's eyes widened in surprise because that was the last thing he thought Dinh would say. He also couldn't understand how Dinh even knew. 

"No!" Tharn jumped up to a standing position himself, not being able to control the volume of his voice. "Don't fucking lie to me. I know it's because of Type. Did he break up with Kemp and now you want to date him?" Dinh said.

Tharn was stumped. "No, Type is dating Kemp and that's nothing to do with this. Why do you think I'd want to date Type?" Tharn asked exasperatedly. "Because you’re in love with him! And don't even lie to me right now."

Tharn fisted his hair in frustration at how Dinh even knew that. "I’m not in love with him. He's my best friend," Tharn said through clenched teeth, making Dinh scoff. "Please! You think I'm going to believe that? I see how you look at him. I hear how you talk. It’s always Type this Type that. The night I saw you at the bar, you were all over Type. The night you invited me out to drink for the first time, Kemp and I had to literally pry you two off of each other because you refused to let him go. So, don't fucking lie to my face!" Dinh screamed. 

Tharn, stunned by that revelation, lost the strength in his feet as he fell back down on the couch. Everyone around him could actually see that he had feelings for Type but him and he felt like a complete idiot for being the last to be clued in on that. "Are you just going to sit there and say nothing?" Dinh asked with his arms crossed in front of him.

Tharn looked up at him, mind still trying to wrap itself around that new piece of information. He needed to make this a clean break. He didn't want Type to take the blame for something he had no part in doing. "No, that is not true. Type is just my oldest and closest friend. This break up has nothing to do with Type. I want us to break up because I'm leaving," Tharn said, taking Dinh by surprise. "Leaving? Where? When?" Dinh asked, sufficiently distracted.

"I'm leaving after the end of our finals. My team and I decided that it would be better if I took a transfer to Japan so we can work together more efficiently. It has nothing to do with Type. I don't know how many years I'll be gone for and you're still in college. I can't ask you to wait for me when we've only been dating for over a month. It's not fair to you," Tharn said. Dinh gaped at him, aghast. "Oh," he said as he plopped down on the sofa himself. 

"I'm really sorry for not explaining it better. You see, this is to do with the two of us. I know that your previous boyfriend left you in the lurch and I don't want to do the same to you. I want you to find someone who will love and cherish you. Someone who can be there for you when you need them. I've been too distracted with work to do that for you, as you've seen. I’ve felt really guilty about it. But now, I actually have to leave the country. I can't ask you to sit here and wait for me when I don't even know how long I'll be gone for, or if I'll ever come back," Tharn completed his carefully thought up speech as he reached a hand out to softly touch Dinh's arm. Dinh looked down at Tharn’s hand on his arm and then up at Tharn. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have flown off the handle like that," Dinh said looking guiltily at the floor. 

Tharn felt his own guilt starting to consume him so he patted Dinh's arm. "Don't apologise. It's okay. You have all the right to scream at me. I'm the one who’s leaving." Tharn sent a small smile to Dinh.

"You're being a nice guy till the end, aren't you?" Dinh said as he brought his other hand to place it on Tharn's hand on his arm. Tharn had a sudden urge to recoil his arm but smiled back at Dinh. "I'm sorry."

"Okay. What you said does make sense. Let's break up then," Dinh said. Tharn felt his heart lighten at those words but didn't let it show in his expression and nodded. Dinh smiled up at Tharn and moved in closer to him. Tharn was a little surprised and he leaned away from Dinh. Dinh, not discouraged by Tharn retreating, moved closer and brought his face closer and closer to Tharn. "What are you doing?" Tharn asked as he turned his head away, making Dinh's face land on his cheek.

"We're breaking up, so one for the road?," Dinh said as he grabbed Tharn's chin to try to turn his face towards himself. Tharn felt every hair on his body stand in fear at those words and grabbed Dinh's shoulders to push him away from himself. "No. I don't think that's a good idea."

Dinh didn't let Tharn's words or actions deter him as he pushed himself towards Tharn. "Why not? It's just breakup sex," he said as he took Tharn's hands off his shoulders and put his arms around his neck. 

Fear gripped Tharn's heart, much like it did every time Dinh tried to be intimate with him. But this time, he had the ground to refuse because they were no longer together. The dagger of their relationship no longer hung on his head. He grabbed Dinh's arms and pushed him away from himself. He got to his feet and looked down at Dinh. "No. I don't want to do it." Those words brought a wave of pent up relief in Tharn because it was something he had always wanted to say to Dinh but the guilt kept him from uttering them so he just went along, hating every touch, every kiss they shared. 

"Why not?" Dinh asked, annoyed, standing up to look at Tharn. Tharn felt the pent up frustration of their relationship starting to bubble up from inside him. "Because I don't like it!" He screamed, stunning Dinh. "What do you mean? You don't like having sex with me?" Dinh screamed back. 

"Yes. I don't like it. I have never liked it," Tharn said, finally confessing the ugly truth he had kept hidden inside. "What the fuck are you saying?! This whole time? Why?" Dinh screamed.

"Because I don't like you like that. I tried. I've been trying my best since we started dating but I just can't develop feelings for you. I'm really sorry," Tharn said as he sat back down on the couch with his hands in his face, the weight of hiding his true feelings from him finally lifting off his shoulders. "So this is why you're actually breaking up with me? Why did you have to make up such a big lie about Japan then?" Dinh asked, incredulously.

"I'm not lying about Japan. I'm really leaving. But you're right. The real reason I wanted this breakup is because I can't develop feelings for you, no matter how hard I try and that's really not fair to you or to me. I'm really sorry I agreed to date you. I was just feeling really guilty about whatever happened that night we slept together. You told me how your ex left you to get married to a girl and then I put you in danger by not using a condom that night. I felt like I would be a bigger asshole if I said no to dating you when you told me that I gave you hope that people won't use you and throw you away like your ex had. I never liked you like that and it was wrong of me to agree to date you just because of guilt," Tharn said, looking up at Dinh with a sorry look on his face. 

Dinh, who had been staring at Tharn looking annoyed, suddenly started to laugh. Tharn felt really sorry and stared down at the floor. "Oh, so since we're both being honest, I guess it's my turn," Dinh said.

Tharn's head shot up, as he stared at him wide eyed. "We didn't have sex that night. I tried, but you kept pushing me off you. I just took off our clothes and scattered them on the floor to make it look like we had slept together. Sorry," Dinh said with an evil smirk. 

Tharn stared at him in shock, he couldn't believe the whole reason he was in this shit was all because of Dinh's lie. The fact that he couldn't find a condom in the room finally made sense. He got up and grabbed him by the collar. "Why? Why did you lie to me?" Tharn asked as he tightened his grip on his collar. Dinh giggled and looked back up at Tharn. "I told you that I had liked you for a long time, remember? I just did what I had to to make you date me. Also, I lied about my ex. He doesn't exist," Dinh said it with so much nonchalance, like it was okay to lie for sympathy. 

Tharn felt hot rage starting to flare in his veins. Dinh had lied about everything to him. He couldn't believe he fell for it and pitied him enough to date him. As he stared down at the smug look on his face, he wanted to rearrange his face. Not to mention, he had taken Type away from him with his ruse. He remembered how doubtful Type had been about this relationship in the beginning, he should have listened to him.

He didn't have a violent bone in his body, though, so he dragged Dinh out of his apartment and threw him out of the door. "Leave. I never want to see your face again," Tharn said coldly and slammed his door shut.

He didn't make it to the living room as he collapsed in front of the door and started to cry, for another relationship that was based on lies. It all felt like a cruel joke to him. What had he done that the universe was punishing him so? He was glad that the farce with Dinh was over but the fact that he was manipulated into a relationship made his blood boil and his heart weep at the same time. He suddenly felt extremely dirty. All the times Dinh so much as touched him started to run through his mind. He shot up and ran to the shower. He turned on the water and just sat under the stream, fully clothed, hugging his knees to his chest. 

Type.

He suddenly realised that he would’ve had a real chance with Type if it hadn’t been for Dinh’s lies. When Type wanted to try being with men, he was single. If Dinh hadn’t inserted himself into the narrative that night at the bar, he could have gone home with Type. They could have talked. He could have realised his feelings sooner. He wasn’t sure what might have come out of the night had Dinh not been there but he wanted to believe that things wouldn’t be this desperate or painful for him.

Through all the pain and frustration he felt, one thing became abundantly clear to him.

He has always been in love with Type.

Through school, through Pina, through most of his life, it’s always been Type and he was too stupid to see it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!!! Please don't hate/kill me. 
> 
> Beta took a while on this one. They just wanted it to be perfect so it took longer to put out. I'll try to encourage beta to work faster on the other chapters. Please send your prayers their way.
> 
> Thank you for the comments on the last one. It was a real mixed bag and I enjoyed each one of them. 
> 
> Thank you guys for reading! See you soon(hopefully).


	39. 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back early! This chapter is for the ones who commented on the last chapter. Please enjoy!

Tharn stumbled into his family home in the cover of darkness, hoping everyone was asleep. He couldn't make himself stay in his apartment because everything about it reminded him of all the misfortune that had befallen upon him. Every corner of his house was tainted with unsavoury memories and Dinh's confession was the last nail in the coffin. He just couldn't be there anymore.

He rounded the entryway and took a sigh of relief when he saw the lights were turned off. As soon as he entered the living room, he was greeted by his brother sitting on the couch, working on his laptop. He realised he looked like a complete mess so he quickly looked down at the floor as he tried to sneak past Thorn to go to his room.

"What are you doing here?" Thorn asked as he placed his laptop down on the couch. Tharn stopped in his tracks, still avoiding his eyes. "Ummm…. I just…. wanted to come home for exam prep," he said as he looked back at his brother. Thorn got up from the couch and walked towards Tharn. "Yeah, like that’s not suspicious in the least bit," Thorn scoffed. "I…. I really…. This semester is…." 

"You look like a kicked puppy. I know something is wrong. You don't ever come home for a stupid reason like 'exam prep' so what is it?" Thorn asked. Tharn slumped his shoulders down, not knowing what to say. "Is it Type again?" Thorn asked.

Tharn's head shot up to look at Thorn with his eyes wide open, not knowing how everyone seemed to read his mind. He wondered if he was just that predictable. "It is, isn't it? You looked like this the last time you came home too. I can't watch you go all catatonic for months on end again. Do you want me to talk to him?" Thorn asked.

Tharn started to shake his head violently in protest at that. He needed a cover. "It's not Type! I just broke up with my boyfriend. I was feeling a little sad and lonely in the apartment so I came home," Tharn said, avoiding his eyes because Thorn would have read the lie in his eyes, like he always did.

"Oh, when did you start dating again?" Thorn asked. "Umm…. It's been over a month now," Tharn replied. Thorn furrowed his brows and leaned back a little. "You're telling me you came back home because you broke up with someone you dated just over a month? You were completely fine when you broke up with your highschool girlfriend whom you dated for twice that duration. You're lying, aren't you?" Thorn said as he stood in an accusatory stance. 

Tharn was lost trying to find a better excuse, but he couldn't think of anything so he decided he'd give him the half-truth. "That's not the only reason I'm here. I applied for a transfer to Japan for the rest of my degree to work on our game. I wanted to spend the rest of my time here, with you guys before I left because I'll be gone for a long time," Tharn said. "What?!?" Thorn screamed, wide eyed.

"Yeah, I wanted to tell all of you tomorrow but you cornered me," Tharn said sheepishly, hoping to god that he had successfully distracted his brother. "You didn't even think to discuss it with mom and dad before you made such a big decision? Something is really wrong, isn't it? You never do anything like this," Thorn said with an angry stare. 

Tharn could see that Thorn would surely squeeze the truth out from him if they continued on with their conversation so he needed to get out of there fast. "Nothing's wrong. I had already discussed this possibility with dad before. I just decided it was time because we've reached a crucial part of our project. I'm really tired. Let's talk tomorrow along with the rest of the family. I have class in the morning. I need to go to bed now," Tharn said as he cautiously walked away from Thorn, trying to look nonchalant, hoping his brother wouldn't say anything else. 

Thorn stood in place as he stared at Tharn walking away with an awkward gait towards his room, knowing there was something very wrong. He knew that he couldn't push him any further because Tharn had a habit of clamming up if he became persistent about something he wasn't ready to share so he let him go, worry starting to grip his heart. 

°°°

  
  


Tharn entered his room and plopped on his bed, tired after the final paper. He had told his parents about his decision to move to Japan starting in a few days and his parents were surprisingly supportive, not really asking him more questions than necessary except the ones about his room and board. Thorn kept trying to get him to talk about it but Tharn had deployed his method of shutting down completely every time Thorn so much as even tried to broach the topic. It had worked perfectly because Thorn would stop poking any further.

He hadn't been doing well in the past few weeks. His younger sister had given up on trying to cheer him up, never receiving any positive outcomes from her insistent behaviour. He wasn't ready to talk about it with Thorn either so he kept to himself, even so far as to eating food in his room under the guise of exam prep. He no longer had that excuse now that his exams were over. 

Tharn turned his head to look at the glass display cabinet opposite to the end of his bed and his eyes fell on the Swat Kats figurines Type had gifted him when they were kids. Type was the first friend who ever came to his birthday parties and he remembered how immensely happy he was that day as he smiled through the pain that started nipping at his heart at the thought of leaving Type behind. He had to. He didn't see any other way out of it. He knew the kind of person he was, and when he loved someone, he saw no-one else but the object of his affection. It would just get harder for him to get over Type if he stayed. Especially because Type clearly didn't return the feelings he had for him. Type was in a relationship and he knew that his heart would break irreparably if he were to see Type being happy with someone else. 

He pushed himself off the bed and walked to the cabinet. He reached behind the figurines and pulled out the Lego set he had kept for years. The same Lego set that he wanted to build with Type all those years ago. He never had the willpower to open it because of the significance it held. He always wanted to build it with Type if he ever saw him again. 

He couldn't help but laugh at the direction fate had taken him. He met Type again, but he'd still never get to actually build it with him.

He walked back to the bed and placed the box next to him. He stared at it for longer than it would seem normal, contemplating if he should just open it. He figured it would be a symbolic gesture, so he didn't have any expectations from his relationship with Type anymore. 

He walked to the table to grab a box cutter and walked back to his bed. His hand started to tremble as he got closer to the box, remembering how long he had saved it. That box had been the one thing that helped him get through the years, it was a symbol of hope in his heart for the better part of a decade. 

Tharn dropped the box cutter on the bed and sank down next to it. He couldn't do it. He wanted to be selfish once in his life. This was the one thing he wanted to do with Type before he left for good. He figured the memory of it would help him in some way. He also wanted to see Type for the last time. At least the last time till he gets over him.

He grabbed his phone out of his pocket and opened up his chat app. He took a deep breath as he typed a quick message.

°°°

  
  


Tharn walked back into his room with a smile on his face. The smile stayed on his lips as he fell into bed, staring up at the ceiling. He had a great time with Type. It was just so easy to be around him. He, of course, didn't tell him that he was leaving for good because he didn't want to sour the mood. He wanted the last time he saw Type to be a happy memory. He knew that Type would try to talk him out of leaving and if Type looked at him with his big round eyes and asked him to stay, he would. If Type asked, he’d rip his heart right out of his chest and hand it to the boy with a smile. He knew he was running away, he couldn’t come up with a better plan; to him, this was the only way. 

He chuckled wetly to himself as he thought about the day they spent together. How he threw the bowling match to make Type happy so he could remember him just like that. He smiled at the memory of them finally building that Lego set together. It had been a journey for both him and set. They’d both waited a long time for Type. It felt like it was a good enough memory to help him get through the next few years without him. Even though he did slip in the little lie about his mother having saved that box of Legos. Type didn't need to know that it was him who had pestered his mom to make him a special glass cabinet to store the figurines and that Lego set so he could stare at it as he slept. It was what calmed him down and helped him drift off to sleep for a decade; like his own personal security blanket. 

He started to laugh when he remembered how bad Type was at taking pictures. He was good looking enough to be a model, but he never took a picture of himself. But it somehow endeared Type to him even further. He knew he was going to be in real shit starting the next day because he'd never have that with Type again. Not for a long time. 

That thought made the sadness start to intensify. All the happy memories from the day were tinted a shade of blue in his mind. His breath hitching.

His phone suddenly dinged, distracting him for a fraction of a second. He quickly reached for it and unlocked it. As soon as he read the notification, he quickly tapped on it.

He broke into a big grin, his earlier predicament forgotten, when the picture loaded. Type had tagged him in the picture they had taken with the Lego dinosaur on Instagram, chuckling at how Type even figured out how to tag people on a post. His heart was bursting with happiness when he realised that was Type's first post on his profile. He looked at the description and he felt like he could die happy.

_ The circle of life. _

Tharn smiled from ear to ear as a tear of both joy and despair rolled down his cheek.

°°°

  
  


The next day, he convinced his family that he wanted to go to the airport alone. Thorn wanted to drop him by himself, but that was something he absolutely did not want because he knew that Thorn was trying to corner him again. He somehow managed to get out of it by placating his family with the fact that they were all going to visit him the next month to help him get settled down. 

He waved at them from the window as the cab pulled away. His mind was still filled with the images of Type from the day before and how much he was going to miss him. He really wished he could see him one more time before he left the country, but that was a pipe dream. He had gotten his hopes high when Type had texted him in the morning, wishing for a miracle. But, much to his chagrin, Type had just texted him to wish him a good flight. 

The heaviness in his chest started weighing incrementally higher as he was trying to wheel his suitcase towards the departure gate. The Lego dinosaur that he had packed separately was making it difficult for him to manouvre the giant suitcase his mother insisted upon. It was like his luggage was also trying to keep him from leaving. He honestly had half a mind to just drop everything, well, except for the Lego dinosaur, and run to Type’s dorm to declare his boundless love for him. Just as the struggle got too much, he heard a voice speak to him that made his skin tingle and his heart ache with both warmth and insurmountable pain.

"That's a big suitcase."

Tharn whipped towards the direction of the familiar voice, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. Type was beaming at him and he broke into a grin of his own, his wish coming true in the form of the beautiful man standing in front of him. "How come you're here?" Tharn asked as he stared at Type dumbly, not really knowing what else to say in the moment on account of his heart leaping out of his chest. "I just wanted to show my support to you. I want you to work really hard so I can have a good game to play as soon as possible," Type said and he picked up the joking tone. He was going to miss it. He was going to miss all of him. 

"Yes, of course. You can't be here to see me off if you didn't have an ulterior motive," he said, trying to keep the tone of his voice light so it doesn't betray the way he was actually feeling at the moment. His heart squeezed painfully when he saw the smile that decorated Type’s face, knowing it was one of the last he would see. "I can't even deny that. You know me too well," Type said. Tharn smiled at that and gave it his all to not let the sadness in it show. He wished Type knew everything that was in his heart, everything he was running away from and make him stay by his side. However, he knew he had to go. He needed the distance because the pain of staying and watching Type love someone who wasn’t him would surely drive him crazy with sorrow. Throughout the years and his experiences, he had learnt at least one thing. The art of self-preservation. So, he was going to run.

"Yeah. I guess I do," is all he said, the pain in his chest starting to emanate towards his extremities. He needed to leave before the pain he was feeling inside replaced the mask of happiness he had on his face. "I have to go in," he said. As he looked at Type nodding and smiling at him, he felt an urge he couldn't fight. He leapt forward and embraced Type, knowing this was going to be the last time he had the chance to for the near, and maybe distant, future. He felt Type's body stiffen, probably at the shock of his sudden action, but he couldn't care for it at the moment. He just needed to hug him one last time. 

He felt Type's body sink into his and goosebumps erupted on his skin at the sensation of it. He felt Type's arms slowly circling his back and his heart started to thunder in his chest. He could smell the familiar scent of Type's soap on his neck and had the urge to nuzzle into it so he could have it imprinted in his memory forever. Having Type so close to him was making him dizzy. Just before his nose could make contact with the expanse of Type’s delectable throat, his eyes snapped open and he broke the hug.

He grabbed Type's shoulder to push himself away from him, even though all he wanted to do in the moment was hold him closer and never let go, but he knew that was not a real possibility. Type was happy in his relationship and was blissfully unaware of the not so innocent feelings he had for him. And he wanted to keep it that way. At least he could have his friendship if nothing else.

As he broke from the hug, he saw Type break into another smile, causing the cracks in his heart to bleed. He smiled back at him, trying to make his body move away before he spilt his heart out on the pavement and lost him forever. He wasn’t going to lose Type’s friendship just because he was going to be in Japan. They would still be in touch and remain friends. This was going to be different from the last time they parted. They were older, their friendship stronger. Maybe in a few years, he would be able to embrace his friend again without tasting blood in his mouth. When he’s healed.

He kept that smile on his face as he grabbed his suitcase and turned around to walk into the airport. He felt his heart grow cold with every step he took towards the gate, like he had left it behind with Type before he started walking away. He could feel the pain in his chest growing and had to power through the urge to turn back and run back into Type's arms. 

As he reached the gate, he felt his body acting without his knowledge as he turned back around to look at Type again. Just one more time. He needed this, he needed to tattoo his face in his mind. He brought an arm up to wave at Type, so as to cover the betrayal of his body that moved of its own volition to see Type one last time. He quickly turned back around and walked into the airport before he did anything stupid again. 

As soon as he crossed the threshold and was out of Type's view he fell to the ground, as a sob escaped his throat. He clutched the case with the Lego dinosaur in it tightly to his chest as he wailed, not paying mind to the people staring at him. They didn’t matter to him, only Type. 

Never seeing Type again. 

His heart bleeding over his unrequited love. 

Through the tears and sobs wrecking his body, he whispered his final words to Type. 

"I'm sorry. I love you."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. Really. But we're almost at the end. You just need to get through a tiny little bit of angst. I swear. 
> 
> Beta, you're doing great sweety! Please keep up the fast work. Hahaha
> 
> Thank you guys for reading!


	40. 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing credit to my beta/co-author for writing half of this chapter. What would I do without you, beta?

Tharn had somewhat adjusted to life in Japan, throwing himself into work over the semester break. It was his plan to begin with. He thought it would help distract him from Type, but he was soon proven to be very wrong. It had been three months with no contact whatsoever but he was ever present in his mind. He wondered why Type hadn’t tried to reach out to him. He remembered telling him that he could be reached by email when he had lied about not getting a new number. These kinds of thoughts always left Tharn feeling like absolute scum. 

First, he didn’t tell his best friend also the love of his life (he’d recently realised) that he was moving to Japan. Second, he’d made it seem like it was just a short trip. Third, he had lied about not having a new number. Fourth, he hadn’t tried to reach out to Type either. Though, his drafts folder is evidence of the number of messages that he has written to Type but never hit send. 

His instagram app is basically frozen on Type’s profile. He looks at that picture Type posted more than he looks at anything else. He was supposed to be healing but this is just torturous. There have been too many occasions where he had almost dropped everything and practically ran back to Bangkok. Those episodes always ended with him grabbing the doorknob and weeping on the floor with his face planted against the door with thoughts of Type happily running around a meadow, looking as ethereal as ever with the sun shining on all his beauty, his beautiful laugh floating in the air but holding Kemp’s hand. Running around with Kemp. Laughing with Kemp. Being beautiful for Kemp. Being happy with Kemp.

He realised how dramatic his imagination had gotten, but he figured if he cannot be dramatic in real life, he is well within his right to be as dramatic as he wanted in his mind. Though, every time he thought of the images that keep him from going back, he couldn’t help but chuckle at the image of Type running around in a meadow. It was so theatrical, it made him laugh every time. He did feel like he had lost a little bit of his mind because the same image that caused him immeasurable pain was also the one which made him laugh. He had lost his goddamn mind.

Tharn was most afraid of the moment he would have to tell Type the truth about his “trip” to Japan. He kept pushing it further and further till classes had resumed back home and then it was already too late to let Type know. He knew he had made a big mistake and he'd have to face the consequence of it eventually. He cooked up a perfect excuse and decided to call Type on the weekend to finally tell him he wasn't going to come back. His heart started beating rapidly at the prospect of it, fear and hesitance overtaking his body. 

His phone suddenly went off as he was lost in thought. He figured it was Yuta asking him where he was because class had ended and he was just milling about the market, thinking about the weekend. 

His heart started racing when he unlocked his phone and saw the person's name whom he was trying to put off talking to. It felt like a lifetime had passed since he had spoken to Type, though the message was a question that he was dreading answering but it was also Type asking it. He’d finally reached out to Tharn. It made him extremely happy.

'You back yet?'

Tharn stared at the little notification for a long time. As happy as he was to receive a message from Type, he couldn't find the courage to answer it just yet. He quickly pocketed his phone and started his journey home. 

As soon as he walked through his bedroom door, he locked it and threw his bag on the floor. He sat down on his desk, unlocked his phone and tapped on the notification, opening the message window on Instagram. The happiness of talking to Type again had given way to the anxiety and nervousness of finally telling Type about his transfer. He could see the little 'Read' mark under the message so he knew he couldn't back out of the conversation anymore. It just had to happen a little earlier than planned. 

'No'

A single word reply is all he could manage. His heart leapt to his throat when he saw the green dot next to Type's name, indicating he was online and the small 'Read' receipt under his message. His heart started hammering loudly when he saw Type started to write a reply. 

'When are you coming back?'

_ Read _

Tharn felt his fingers go numb as he stared at the question. He didn't know how to break it to Type. He needed to stall before he formulated the best way to break it to him.

'Oh, I was going to call you about that.'

_ Read _

Tharn felt his heart threatening to leap out of his throat when he saw him start to immediately start typing.

'Really? You don't have to anymore. When are you coming back?'

_ Read _

Tharn closed his eyes and took a shaky breath before he started to type again. He had nowhere to run anymore. 

'I'm not'

_ Read _

Tharn stared at the screen, waiting for him to reply but it didn't come immediately like the other times. He felt a giant knot starting to form in his stomach waiting for the indication of him typing a reply. He felt a sense of relief when he saw Type beginning to write again, which soon turned to dread when he started wondering what he would say. 

'Haha! Not funny. When are you coming back, asshole?'

_ Read _

Tharn knew he couldn't skirt around the issue anymore. He had already prepared a speech for what he was going to tell Type when he called him so he wrote the exact thing down and hoped Type’s reaction wouldn’t be too strong or not, he didn’t know what he wanted from Type anymore. His head thought Type wouldn’t mind his transfer but his heart wanted Type to react so he could pretend that Type felt for him too. Well, of course he felt for him. Friendship, that’s all. That was an accurate representation of what he meant. He’d lost his heart and mind. He was basically spiralling.

'I'm not kidding, Type. I really wanted to tell you this over the phone. My team and I decided that I should transfer to their university in Japan so we can work more efficiently to finish the game. I was so busy that I forgot to tell you. I was going to call you tomorrow to tell you about it.'

_ Read _

Type didn't reply for a while, but he kept his eyes on the screen. He knew Type probably needed a minute to process what he told him. He found himself mindlessly typing another message to calm the wild beating of his heart.

'I know! I'm a real asshole. I'm really sorry.'

_ Read _

Each millisecond that he spent waiting for Type’s response was causing his heart to accelerate and his joints feel floaty, but before he could feel the relief of that possibility wash over him, it turned to one of absolute dread when he saw the little green dot next to Type's name disappear. 

All the stress from Type’s sudden and unexpected disappearance made him severely lightheaded. He somehow got his mind to connect to his fingers and immediately punched Type's number in, knowing it by heart by this point. He felt the dread turn to sheer terror when an automated voice on Type's end of the phone said that his number was switched off. 

He tried calling him over and over again, only to hear the same message every time. He had practically dug a trench on his floor from all the pacing he had done. He was losing his mind after the twentieth attempt. He was utterly afraid now. Out of all the reactions that he had imagined he would get, this was not on the list. He had no idea about what he was supposed to do. The only option he thought he had was to fly back and beg for Type’s forgiveness. He figured he could get on the earliest flight and be in Bangkok by the morning. He was frantic and desperate. He was pretty sure he looked like a crazed man with two bald spots from him pulling his hair out listening to the automated message.

With his phone and wallet in his pocket, he yanked his door open only to see Tanaka standing there already with his fist ready to knock on the door. "We have a problem," he said with worry lining his face. It snapped Tharn out of his stupor as he saw the look on his face. "What happened?" Tharn asked.

"The whole game is crashing on boot. There seems to be a bug that is crashing the entirety of the game. We have been trying to figure it out for hours but there are too many lines of code to go through. This is going to take us a month or a few weeks at least to fix. It's going to set back the time of completion even further," Tanaka said as he rubbed his forehead worriedly. 

Tharn could understand how big a deal this problem was, but his mind was screaming for him to go to Type. As he stared at the face of his colleague, he knew that this was not just about him. He had his entire team to think of. His team had worked way too hard for way too long for him to not be treating this as priority one. The thought that he wouldn’t be seeing Type tomorrow as he had hoped pulverised his heart. He was going to see Type as soon as this problem was solved. He was going to get on his knees and beg Type to forgive his selfishness. With his mind thundering, he nodded and hung his head to follow Tanaka to their makeshift office in the living room.

Before he went to sleep, he wrote a really long email to Type, explaining everything that he had planned earlier and littered it with apologies. He couldn't be in Bangkok for a while, but he needed to know that Type was okay. That thought kept him awake for the few hours he had to rest before he had to head to class. Type would come around, he was his best friend. He would understand. He just needed a little time to blow off some steam. Yes, that was it.

  
  
  


The pattern continued for the next few weeks. Tharn was neck deep in work, but every chance he got, he wrote a fresh email to Type to apologise over and over again. He never got a reply but he didn't give up. Each email that went without any response started to make Tharn see the gravity of what he had done. He did almost go back but this time the thoughts that kept him in Japan were that of Type not wanting to see him. Type hating him. The fact that he didn’t receive any response from Type on any of the platforms that he tried to reach out to him from was enough to let Tharn know that Type probably hated him now. Rightfully so. As much as that killed him, he knew he deserved it. Tharn died everyday.

The weeks turned to months and the months turned to years. Tharn had stopped apologising to Type but kept sending him emails every so often to tell him about what was happening in his life. It made him feel like somewhere, he still had a friend. Type never replied, but it didn't deter him. Tharn didn’t try to get in touch with anyone who could tell him about Type because he didn’t think he deserved to know. 

Type lived in his heart. His mind had gotten cluttered with other things over the years but his heart, Type still held it in the palms of his hands. Now when he thought of Type, it wasn’t accompanied with searing pain. Type had become his happy thought. Every time things got hard or he felt the stress getting to be too much, he thought of Type. He had gotten into the habit of talking to the Lego dinosaur that he kept in a glass case in his living room. He told the toy about random things he wanted to tell Type, maybe if he had a particularly hectic day, he would vent to it or if something good happened he would also tell the toy at the end of the day. He knew it was probably crazy but that was the only part of Type that he could have and what he did within his four walls was his business and nobody else’s.

A few years later, he found Type. It was the most random thing to have happened to him. He also broke his phone on the same day and had to get a new one because, when he saw Type’s picture appear on a trending hashtag that he tapped on for no reason in particular, he was so shocked he dropped his phone from the 7th floor stairwell. What happened after was him blankly staring at the smashed pieces of his phone somewhere on the 1st or 2nd floor stairwell before he took off running towards his office. 

He needed a computer because his brain was practically screaming the hashtag at him. He was so high on adrenaline, his hands were shaking and his body felt like it would break from all the tension in his bones. When the hashtag loaded on his screen, it exploded with images of Type. His Type had aged magnificently. It appeared he was the manager of a very famous band in Thailand. As he scrolled down, he didn’t read much of what was written because he was drinking in the sight of Type in the pictures that were attached to every tweet. It has been too long since he saw Type. 

The only picture he had of Type was the one he got for his instagram. It was framed and laid by his bed. He had basically burnt a hole through it from how much he looked at it. The recent pictures of Type were like an oasis for his parched soul. He looked like his Type, just older and even more beautiful. He didn’t think anyone could be as beautiful as the image of Type he had in his mind. Trust actual Type to break that belief. The expressions he wore in most of the pictures were too solemn for Tharn’s liking but the few rare pictures where his face seems relaxed and the rarer pictures of him smiling and one single picture of him laughing with his head thrown back caused the dam that Tharn had so carefully built around his heart to break. He reached out to caress his screen where Type’s smiling face was displayed and cried.

As soon as he found the name of the company, he shot them an email, asking for information about their manager. When he didn't receive a reply, he called them more times than he was proud of, only to be told that the manager only took business calls. 

He wracked his brain for days on end for a way to get him on the phone. He even thought of designing a simple click to play game based on the band so he could have a reason to contact him, no matter how stupid it sounded. He knew he couldn't use the name of his company for something like that because they had a reputation to uphold, so he even went so far as to look into opening a smaller company to do that through. He was quickly made aware that the legal implications of that would be too heavy on his main company so he had to forget about that plan, even though he had a fleeting thought to leave everything behind just so he could have a chance to talk to Type again. It had been too long. Staring at Type’s pictures everyday, following the band he managed hoping to catch a glimpse of Type during their events had given rise to the greed of wanting to be in Type’s life again, wanting to speak to him, see him in the flesh. 

He quickly came back to his senses when he realised he was the face of the company, much to his chagrin. His teammates wanted a fighting chance to make their game succeed so they had pushed him to the forefront, telling him he had the best 'visuals' in the team. Whatever that meant. He couldn't let them down like that so he ceased his mad, half-baked plans to get in touch with his long lost friend who probably hated him and didn’t even want to see him. So, he had to remain sated with pictures of Type that the fans took, he could close his eyes and hear Type’s voice in his head, that had to be enough for him.

When his game gained immense success and recognition, the company planned for an expansion five years after he had been in Japan, the first place that came to mind was Bangkok. He hadn't been home in five long years. His parents and siblings visited him several times a year, but he hadn't been in his home country the entire time. He figured it was high time he went back. 

He sat in the plane taking him home as he wrote a hopeful email to Type, wishing he'd at least read this one. There was probably no chance of Type ever replying to him. He hadn't for the past five years, and it wouldn’t happen even now. He hoped, that was all he could do. 

°°°

  
  


Tharn was watching the news, laying in bed at night, when his phone chimed on his bedside table. He reached for it and opened it, without looking away from his television. He figured it was one of his fellow creators wanting to check up on the progress of the acquisition of the building their headquarters was going to be based in. 

He tore his gaze from the television to look down at his phone and, as soon as he read the message, he felt his breath catch. He did drop his phone again, though. 

'Hi, Tharn

It's Type.'

Oh my God. Oh my God. OHMYFUCKINGGOD. Type read his email. Type messaged him. He was going to die. His fingers trembled so much he kept making typos. He clenched his fist tightly to reign in the trembling and finally got his response to make sense.

'Is this really you, Type?'

'No

It's the ghost of my dead grandfather.

What do you think?'

Tharn chuckled at his message. This was Type. His Type. he couldn’t control his emotions as his eyes welled up with tears of joy.

'I'm sorry.

I just can't believe I'm talking to you.

It's just been so long.'

'Yeah, I guess.

So you're in Bangkok?'

'Yes.

I was hoping we could meet and catch up. It's been so long since we've talked.'

He held his breath while he waited for Type to respond.

'Yeah. It's been a while.'

Oh no. What was that supposed to mean? 

'What?

Are you saying you're agreeing to meet me?'

'Yes. I want to meet you.'

Tharn felt his world get a little brighter at that. It was like the colours had more vibrancy in them than they had for the past five years.

'This Friday, 8 PM at Frangipani

Is that fine?'

'Sure.

See you then.'

'See you!'

Tharn felt giddy with happiness as he read their messages back. It had been so goddamn long since he had talked to Type and, even the short exchange of messages, made him feel so happy he could burst. He was literally vibrating with excitement and joy at the thought of finally seeing Type.

So maybe he did cry like a baby on his couch. Sue him.

°°°

  
  


Seeing Type sitting across from him made him feel all sorts of things. He had to will his body to not jump at Type and envelope him in a crushing hug. The effort it took was painfully Herculean. He had to satisfy himself with just having Type three feet from him. He drank in all of Type with his eyes.

As they walked into the club, Tharn couldn't help but think the entire night seemed like he was dreaming. Hearing Type’s side of the story made him feel like a real asshole for leaving him to go through everything alone for such a selfish reason. He wished he was there for Type, even though he had agreed to take only half the blame for it. He knew, in his heart, he would always blame himself for it entirely.

He was quite shocked to hear that Type never had romantic feelings for Kemp. He had been so sure of it. So much so that he even left Bangkok because of it. Now the whole meadow sequence he dreamt up seemed even more comical to him. He felt a little foolish for it because a small corner of his mind had started to hope that things could have turned out differently for them. 

Because of that cursed thought, he wanted to chase away the fleeting hope that had started to sprout his mind when Type had said that he could point a finger at anyone and they'd immediately date him. He had foolishly pointed directly at Type. When he saw the utter look of horror on his face, it brought him back down to earth. It was true then, even if he didn’t feel anything romantic for Kemp, Type still viewed Tharn as just a friend and that confirmation crushed him. He just wanted to forget about it so when Type asked if he wanted a drink, he had emphatically nodded his head in agreement. He didn’t want to be sad, he could do that later when he was alone. Right then, he just wanted to revel in the joy of being in Type’s company again.

As he downed the shot, he knew it wasn't enough. He asked Type if he wanted to drink more because he definitely needed a few more. Type had surprisingly agreed and, remembering how Type couldn't handle this much alcohol, it took him by surprise. 

Tharn knew he could handle Type if he got too drunk. He’d built up his capacity over endless bottles of whisky he’d gone through whenever he felt sad, which was a lot. So he agreed and ordered them a tray of shots, which they downed as soon as it was served. Tharn could see that Type was very drunk at this point, given they had drank quite a few at the bar before they came to the club. He saw how Type's eyes were glazed over, his eyelids drooping as he stared at the dancefloor. 

He felt his walls fall around him under the influence of the immense amount of alcohol he had consumed. His body moved of its own accord as he grabbed Type's hand and dragged him to the middle of the dancefloor. 

He turned around to see the half lidded, drunk look on Type's face that seemed to endear Type to him even further. The alcohol dulling his senses and his inhibitions, he didn't think much as he reached forward and grabbed Type's waist to pull him into an embrace as he started to sway them to the music. He took this opportunity to feel Type as close to him as he could. The crushing urge to hug him earlier was satisfied.

He was numb from the alcohol and all he was aware of at the moment was that it felt like he was home when he moved his body to the rhythm with Type in his arms. A small part of him thanked God that Type was probably too drunk to remember this in the morning. He wished he was drunk enough to forget it in the morning too because what he was doing was extremely dangerous to his survival.

When he felt Type hug him back as he started to move to the music without him having to lead anymore, he thought he could die of happiness right there on the dancefloor. Emboldened by that, he decided to take full advantage of the situation, survival be damned. He buried his face in Type's shoulder, the familiar smell of his soap assaulting his olfactory senses again. It felt comforting to know that Type still smelt the same. He smiled into his shoulder. He was finally truly happy.

Type suddenly tightened his hold on him, bringing their bodies impossibly closer. His nerves stood on end when he felt Type raise his head and lean his temple on Tharn’s. He could feel his breath in his ear. All the alcohol in the world would not be able to make Tharn as intoxicated as this simple gesture from Type was making him. 

He could feel small gasps of air escaping from Type's mouth and wondered if he was okay. Before he could pull away, Type started to speak.

"I love you."

Tharn’s eyes snapped open and he felt shaken to his core when he heard those whispered words. Words that he thought he would never hear addressed to him by the person he’s loved all his life. Words that he’s only imagined being uttered to him by that sinful mouth. 

Tharn was close to tears. Or maybe he had already begun crying. Now when his heart beat it wasn’t a broken one, he felt  _ alive. _ The Universe had moved for him, his stars aligned. All the times his heart broke and bled, all the deaths he had died, all that pain he went through. He was finally being rewarded for enduring it all.

He moved his head up to push his mouth closer to Type's ear. 

He knew what his response would be, he’d repeated it in his heart like a mantra for years. The only difference was that it was a confession rolled into a response in reality. When he spoke, he spoke with all of his mended heart.

"I love you too."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
\------

Extra note:

Here's a little something for you guys. 

<https://archiveofourown.org/works/26917426>

It's a small snippet of the next book that is coming after this one. Let us know your thoughts!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm scared to see the reactions for this chapter. It is quite a pivotal one for this work. I hope we haven't let you down. 
> 
> The last few chapters will take a little time to put up because we're both a little busy this coming week and they are big chapters that need massive amounts of reshuffling and rewriting. 
> 
> So, for making you wait, please accept the 3 chaptered one shot of our next work as a peace offering. 
> 
> We'll see you soon!


	41. 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for making you guys wait this long! My beta/co-author procrastinates a lot. It took me weeks of getting on beta's ass for them to finally finish this chapter. 
> 
> This is real long one, so hope that makes up for how long we've been missing. Enjoy!

“I love you too.”

Type could not believe those were the words to leave Tharn’s lips. The words did make his heart jump to his throat with hope and might he dare say, joy. He was quite inebriated himself so he could have misheard or Tharn misspoke.

Type was processing the words he’s sure he heard. Maybe Tharn didn’t really understand the emotion behind Type’s declaration. Maybe Tharn was just saying it back because he loved him platonically. That is not what Type wanted. Type wanted Tharn to know exactly how he loved him and how much he loved him, even if Tharn would forget about it come morning light. This was his moment, where he was finally laying his heart bare. 

On feeling how still and silent Type got in Tharn’s arms, he tightened his hold on Type hoping to get Type out of his head. It had been a while since he whispered his confession into Type’s ears and Type had not moved an inch in his hold. He could feel the tension rolling off Type’s shoulders. For a moment he was afraid if Type meant it platonically but he realised he didn’t care. He’d held on to his feelings for far too long, to a point that he’d left everyone and everything he knew behind. He was tired of running, he was absolutely tired of loving Type from afar. Having Type in his embrace and his lips on his ears seemed to give Tharn a new found courage to finally come clean. He was throwing caution to the wind and, come what may, he wanted Type to know he loved him with everything he was worth.

Type felt Tharn squeeze his waist tighter, pulling him in closer. Type took a shuddering breath as he squeezed Tharn’s shoulders in response. 

"No, that's not what I mean. I _love_ you. I'm _in_ _love_ with you," Type said, making sure to enunciate and emphasise each word a little louder than necessary.

Tharn wanted to laugh but the lump in his throat was currently choking him. He couldn’t begin to explain the elation he felt at the fact that Type was in love with him. The words fast travelling from his ears directly to his heart. He didn’t mind that Type practically screamed right in his ear. He’d gladly go deaf if the last thing he heard was Type telling him he loved him. He also recognised the irritation edging Type’s tone on having to explain himself further. He missed that edge. Type was thinking the exact same thing as him and he felt obliged to reaffirm his response to Type as well. He lifted his head further until his lips were in line with Type’s temple and he pressed a gentle kiss to it then he leaned in and whispered,” I know. I’m in love with you as well. Have been for years.”

Type’s heart and mind came to a screeching halt at the words Tharn spoke. The kiss had begun to give him hope but what followed was something he had only ever imagined. He froze completely. Tharn loved him back, and had been in love with him for years. He couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening. He hadn’t seen Tharn for five whole years, he’d died for Tharn everyday. Now he had him in his arms and he was telling him he loved him as well. He was in complete disbelief. This could not be right, maybe Tharn is just sloshed and he doesn’t know what he’s saying. But the sincerity in his voice tugged at Type’s heartstrings. Tharn sounded like he was choking. Type didn’t know what to believe. He felt Tharn pull him back. He lifted his eyes and was met with Tharn’s. Glazed with unshed tears and full of love. His brain short circuited and before he knew it, he was running. 

When Tharn looked into Type’s eyes, he felt his heart squeeze with the amount of love he felt for him. He wanted to wipe the tear stains off his face and kiss the look of disbelief away from his wide eyes but before he could even lift a finger, Type had withdrawn from his embrace and was running out of the club. Tharn stood stunned on the dancefloor for a few seconds before his brain connected to his legs and he took off after Type. 

Type did not know where he was headed. The look on Tharn’s face, the revelation of Tharn’s feelings for him. It was all too much and somehow not enough at the same time. Type had to get out of the stuffy dance floor and somewhere along the way his legs decided to make him exit the club altogether. He could feel a second onslaught of tears on their way, he needed to get out, he needed to breathe, he needed to cry. His eyes blindly blinked around the lobby until they fell on a sign that read “Garden Area”. Without a second thought, he began to stride towards it. The air outside cleared some of the haziness in his mind and he felt like he could think better. Tharn loved him back, just the mere thought of it made his knees wobble.

Tharn ran out of the club and caught Type heading for the door that led to the garden area in the back of the hotel. He had his eyes solely fixed in the direction he saw Type go in and failed to notice that he’d walked into a lady. He quickly caught her by the wrist and profusely apologised to her and kept running, not waiting to hear the drunken slurring of the woman. He pushed the door open and was greeted by a gust of wind. The clouds began to rumble and he caught sight of a bolt of lightning. The paths diverged and he sent a silent plea to the heavens when he jogged off to the right. The garden was beautifully manicured and was like a little private forest lined with street lamps and the occasional park bench. The path winded into the clump of trees and circled back to where he had entered from. As he jogged further into the clump of trees, he saw a figure sitting on a park bench in the distance. Tharn slowed down to a walking pace and just observed his Type glowing under the streetlight. With the wind shaking the trees around them, the only sounds that could be heard were the rustling of the leaves and the rumble of the clouds. Type looked like a checkpoint in a game, glowing golden in the darkness. 

Tharn considered how to approach Type. He was thrown off by Type’s reaction but the look in his eyes assured him that the reaction was not negative in the least bit. This was a very Type like reaction, he felt. He’s glad that this time, Type didn’t run off too far. However, after hearing Type’s confession, he’s sure he would seek Type out to the absolute end of the earth. He was never going to let Type go again and the next time he felt like running away, he wanted to run to Type. Only Type, forevermore. He blinked his tears away as he approached Type. Not knowing what else to do, he took a seat next to Type, keeping his eyes on the halo that was Type’s hair. Type slowly turned towards him. Then he saw his Type, his beautiful boy had tears streaming down his face. Tharn’s heart audibly broke at the sight before him.

“Type,” Tharn said in a cracked whisper, a tear escaping despite his best efforts.

Type met Tharns’s leaking eyes. Tharn saw all the pain in the world in them, the longing, the elation, the relief and most importantly, he saw love. He saw how much Type loved him reflected in his eyes. 

Meeting Tharn’s gaze was not easy for Type. Just as he fixed his gaze upon Tharn’s, a tear escaped his eyes and traced a solitary path down his beautiful face. He could see Tharn better here and what he saw in Tharn’s eyes made his heart stop and expand in his chest. Maybe Type was still in disbelief, but the look in Tharn’s eyes made his heart twist with all the emotions that assaulted his being. Then Type dropped his head into his hands and cried. Heart wrenching sobs wracking through his body. Tharn couldn’t hold on any longer so he let go of all his pent up emotions as well.

Both men sat under the streetlight beside one another and cried. They cried their hearts out, they cried for all the years they wasted, they cried for all the days they died for the other, all the longing they had endured, they cried out of frustration with their past selves and they cried because their love was returned. None of the men thought they would live to see this day. That their paths would cross once again to be intertwined forever. Their hearts’ deepest and only desire, finally met.

Slowly the wailing turned to sobs, and the sobs to sniffles.

Tharn and Type sat in complete silence, save for the sound of the wind and the occasional sniffle. Tharn was wiping his nose when he heard Type’s wet giggle. He turned his head and saw Type looking at the trees, tears still glistening in his eyes but now a small smile playing on his lips. He smiled as his eyes glazed over with tears once again, blurring the beautiful golden vision in front of him.

“We really are dumb as dirt, aren’t we?” Type asked, voice thick but tone teasing.

Tharn just smiled wider at that and laughed.

Type turned his head and watched as Tharn laughed. Tharn had the tendency to throw his head back whenever he was laughing with childlike glee. He couldn’t help but join in. Tharn’s laughter had always been infectious. When the laughter subsided, both their eyes met and they held them there. Both saying all the things that they let die on their tongues in the past with their eyes. Their eyes shone with fondness and joy. They don’t know who reached out first but they found their fingers entangled between them. Tharn squeezed Type’s hand with a giddy smile that made Type cry all over again. Tharn’s smile grew wider as his eyes filled up with tears once again. He tugged at Type and hauled him over into a crushing embrace. Type had his face buried in Tharn’s clavicle, crying fat tears as his shoulders shook with his sobs. He held him tighter in hopes of soothing Type but that did the complete opposite and made Type cry even harder. Type brought his tiny fist to Tharn’s chest and lightly pounded against it as he continued to wail into the side of this neck.

“Idiot, Tharn.”

“Stupid, Tharn.”

“Asshole, Tharn.”

“Whyjuleev?” Type mumbled as he stopped pounding on Tharn’s chest and splayed his fingers instead, trying to chase his heartbeat. 

Tharn felt a dull ache in his chest when Type's words made him recall the day he made the decision to leave. He slowly caressed the side of Type’s face before he lifted his chin up so he could meet Type’s eyes. The sadness he was met with made his heart squeeze painfully. Type’s lips were still trembling and light sobs were still escaping his lips in little hiccups. His beautiful eyes spilling over with tears anew. Tharn drank up the sight of Type with his eyes. He wanted to wipe that look of abject pain away from Type’s face. He brought his other hand and placed it at the back of Type’s head, thumb caressing his little right ear. Type leaned into the touch and curled his fists against Tharn’s chest. Tharn kept his eyes on Type as he brought his other hand to rest against Type’s cheeks, trying to catch his tears. Tharn felt a pull he couldn’t fight. He leaned in and kissed the top of Type’s brow, the hitch that caused in Type’s breath gave him unnamed courage to continue. He dragged his lips down and stopped at the soft skin under his left eye. He swiped his thumb across to dry his eyes then proceeded to kiss away a fresh trail. Type closed his eyes to welcome Tharn’s tenderness, an unbidden sob escaping his lips. Tharn moved lower, until his lips were millimeters away from Type’s. He could feel every breath Type was taking, he could feel the sobs escaping Type’s lips and colliding with his. He roamed his eyes around Type’s face as he felt his tears escape him, love and pain wrapping around his heart and whispered against Type’s lips. 

“Because I love you.”

Tharn caught Type’s lips in a kiss that was meant to be gentle but at the feel of his trembling lips, Tharn seemed to lose his mind as he began to move his lips desperately against Type’s.

With Tharn’s words still ringing in his ears, he felt Tharn capture his lips. He squeezed his eyes shut even harder, physically willing himself to stop crying. His hand climbed over to the side of Tharn’s neck. He held him there as he felt Tharn’s kiss grow more forceful, he felt Tharn trying to get him to open his mouth wider so he could dive in deeper. It was when Tharn sobbed into his mouth, that his eyes snapped open and he saw just how painfully desperate Tharn looked. He tightened his hold on Tharn’s head, pushed back and took control of the kiss. He let Tharn taste every part of his mouth and moved his lips with Tharn’s but coaxed the pace down until he felt Tharn relax under his fingers. Until his movements did not feel frantic anymore. The kiss slowed down until it turned into them just bringing their lips together in shallow kisses. When Type made a move to part, Tharn panicked, the initial craze returning and he started to kiss him harder. Type brought his hands to rest on Tharn’s face and softly caressed his sideburns, as if to say that he won’t go anywhere. Tharn seized his movements and Type planted a last lingering kiss of reassurance.

They slowly parted and rested their foreheads against each other, just breathing each other in. Type slowly opened his eyes and saw Tharn’s solemn expression. He leaned forward and pecked Tharn’s lips, once, twice, thrice, until Tharn finally opened his eyes and Type smiled at him.

“Smile for me,” Type said and so Tharn did.

He wrapped his arms around Type and finally hugged him how he had wanted to for the past five years. Type returned the hug with equal vigour. With his head resting against Tharn’s shoulder, he let out the longest sigh. 

“What did you mean by you left because you loved me?” Type asked into his shoulder. He squeezed him and answered truthfully. "I thought you were happily in a relationship and would never look at me the same way," Tharn said as he tried to read Type’s expression but all he saw were Type’s eyes getting bigger then he’d ever seen them get. He pulled away from his embrace and gaped at Tharn. 

“What?! Since college?! You loved me then?! You left me because of me?!” Type managed to scream all these questions out to Tharn as soon as he found his voice. 

Tharn felt the need to be close to Type so he reached out to pull him back against him. Type maintained his expression of eyes the size of dinner plates and mouth open but he let Tharn embrace him nonetheless.

“Well, yes and no. I’ve been in love with you since elementary school, only realised it in college. And I left because you seemed happy with Kemp and my heart couldn’t take it. I thought leaving would heal me and I’d be able to save my greatest friendship. It got all fucked up along the way though,” Tharn finally admitted to the real reason he left. It felt great, like a building had been lifted off of his chest.

The gravity of Tharn's words weighted Type down. He felt like a coward for not coming out and telling Tharn instead of trying to conceal it from him for all those months. He knew that they wouldn't have wasted all these years if he just had the courage. Tharn was obviously under the impression that he was in a happy relationship with Kemp so he couldn't have been the one to confess to him in those circumstances. Tharn had already broken up with Dinh the last time they hung out so that was the perfect opportunity for him to have come clean. But he was in a relationship of convenience back then, trying to run away from those very feelings that he was trying to conceal and it made him feel like a fool.

Type furrowed his brows at the frustration he felt at that realisation. "I'm sorry. I should have just come out and told you earlier. It's my fault."

Tharn shook his head in indignation at that. "No, Type. It's mine. I should have told you before I made the hasty decision to leave. I was such an idiot. I sat and assumed everything without actually talking to you. I was the one who left. You stayed right here. You were the one who was waiting for me and I abandoned you because of something I made up in my own head," he said, hoping Type could stop blaming himself for something that he never did.

Type's frustration shifted from himself to Tharn. "You're doing it again." Tharn knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "Doing what?"

Type sighed at his obliviousness. "You're assigning all the blame on yourself without even listening to what I have to say," Type said as he stared Tharn down.

Tharn was thrown by his words and shrunk under the death glare Type was shooting at him. "I'm sorry," Tharn said involuntarily, and Type huffed loudly as he tried to wiggle his upper body away from Tharn so he could be mad at him properly. "Can you fucking stop? Stop apologising. Stop blaming yourself. Just stop." 

Tharn leaned back, a little stunned at the sudden rise in Type’s volume.

"Before you jump to blaming yourself for this whole thing, how about we just agree that we're both equally to blame? I should have told you as much as you should have told me. Okay?" Type continued.

Tharn straightened up, realising Type wasn't completely wrong. They both had feelings for each other. They both weren't honest with the other. He felt like it was a fair conclusion. "Yeah, okay. We're both to blame," Tharn said, already feeling a lot lighter. Type always made him feel better every time he felt like he had been a few minutes prior and it made Tharn fall in love with him even more. Especially when he was staring him down angrily with those beautiful eyes. 

Type took a sigh of relief as he melted back into Tharn’s embrace. 

“So, you love me?” Type asked, suddenly shy as he focused his gaze on Tharn’s jaw.

“And you love me,” Tharn responded teasingly.

Type squirmed around in his seat, out of embarrassment and giddiness. Tharn laughed and squeezed Type’s sides. “Stick around and I’ll show you how much for the rest of our lives,” Tharn leaned in and whispered with a smile to convey his sincerity.

Type died. He was sure feeling this much happiness should not be humanly possible. But seeing Tharn and being wrapped up in his arms made him believe that this was all really happening and it wasn’t a fevered dream. How did he get so lucky? How did the stars align for him so perfectly? He would spend the rest of his life thanking the universe for the man in his arms right now. Type returned his smile full power, ”I’ll stay if you stay.” Tharn laughed at Type’s response as he felt happiness wrap its warm self around his once cold heart. He launched himself at Type and planted a kiss on him. This one soft and sans tears.

“Good, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I have so many questions and I’d like to start with, when did you exactly realise your feelings for me and I’d love to delve into the juicy elementary school bit too,” Type said with a teasing smile.

Tharn had to laugh, Type sounded like a gossip queen with that smile on his face and a glint in his eyes. 

Tharn shifted his eyes to stare at the trees swaying in the wind behind Type, recalling the exact moment. "You had been dating Kemp for about a month at the time. We hadn't met each other for a few weeks since you told me that you were dating Kemp because, every time I asked you to hang out, you'd tell me you were busy with him. I missed you a lot the whole time. I was feeling really uneasy about the fact that you were dating him. That really should have been the first red flag." Tharn chuckled and Type sat staring at him, transfixed. "One day, I was walking out of the administrative building, feeling extremely down about not seeing you for so long when I suddenly saw you standing in the lobby, frowning at your phone. I was so incredibly taken over by happiness at the sight of you. But, before I could get your attention, Kemp suddenly called out to you and I saw him walk towards where you were standing. When I looked back at you, I saw you smiling up at Kemp with, what I thought was, affection in your eyes and that's when it hit me. I realised why I had been feeling so goddamn uncomfortable since I heard you were dating Kemp. When I saw the way you looked at him, I wanted to be Kemp. I wanted you to smile up at me with that look of love in your eyes."

Tharn stole his gaze away from him and looked down at the gravel by their feet. Type was taken aback to hear that Tharn was there that day. He clearly remembered it. He looked to Tharn and, seeing the sadness on his face, he felt his chest constrict. He needed to turn his mood around and knew just how to. "I remember that day," he said and Tharn looked back up into his eyes. Type, finally having his full attention, smiled at him. "I remember that moment. I was frowning at my phone because I was amping myself up to send  _ you _ a text." Tharn widened his eyes in abject surprise. "What?" Type chuckled at the sudden change in Tharn's tone. 

"Yeah. I was dying to meet you and you didn't text me to hang out like you used to every week so I was feeling incredibly off that entire week. I was thinking about what to say to you. I was literally staring down at your chat box right at that moment. When Kemp called out to me, I smiled at him because he was someone I went to with my issues. Kemp was the one person who always advised me about what I should do about you. I was literally drowning in one of those moments of doubt and I saw Kemp as a saviour, who was going to help me sort out that mess. It wasn't the look of affection you saw in my eyes, it was one of relief at seeing someone who could give me answers about what I should do about my feelings for you," Type said.

Tharn was grinning from ear to ear, realising that the moment that jolted him into his realisation about his feelings for Type, he was the one person who was on Type's mind. He suddenly stopped when he thought about something Type had mentioned that didn't make any sense. "Wait, what do you mean? Kemp knew that you liked me?" 

Type winced, realising he had let the cat out of the bag a bit too early. It was too late for him to take it back. "Yeah. He was one of the people who made me realise I had feelings for you," Type said in a small voice. 

Tharn stared at him, incredibly taken aback by that revelation. "Huh? How did that happen?" Tharn asked.

"Umm…. It happened on one of the nights we had gone to the bar. I came with Kemp and you with Dinh. I had been feeling quite uneasy about you dating Dinh since you told me about how you guys started. I did not trust him one bit and I did not like seeing you with him at all." Tharn shifted uncomfortably in his seat, knowing he'd eventually have to tell Type that his suspicions were right. "That night, I saw you guys kissing for the first time and I felt like my world crashed around me. Kemp had told me that I liked you on the night we had gone to the restaurant the time before we hung out at the bar. I denied it at that moment because I didn't know he was right. I even talked to Nicolette and she told me the same thing. I just kept denying it to both of them, thinking they were talking crazy. But when I saw you kissing him, it jolted me into realising that I really had feelings for you," Type said.

Tharn sat back on his seat, taking it all in. The memory of the night he was speaking of playing in the back of his mind. "That was before me. I guess you win in that regard. You realised you had feelings for me before I did," Tharn said, sadness reverberating in his words at realising how long ago that day was. It all clicked in his mind. He remembered feeling so embarrassed when Dinh kissed him out of the blue. He didn't want Type to see him do that, not even realising that there were so many signs and missing each of them by a mile. He recalled how Type suddenly left without saying goodbye and it all made sense to him. 

Tharn, after a moment of thinking, realised there were a few points of interest in the things Type had just told him. "Wait, so Kemp knew you liked me?" Tharn asked as he turned to look at him. Type felt the scrutiny in his eyes and knew what was coming. "Yeah. He knew."

"So why did he start dating you? And why was he helping you?" Type shrank into himself at the shame attached to that memory. He knew he couldn't hide it from Tharn because hiding things had done enough damage to their relationship for him to know that he couldn't hide anything anymore. "He convinced me to date him by telling me that it would help me get over you. That's the whole reason I even said yes. I shouldn't have because my mind was focused on that very thing. I needed to get over you to save our friendship. I didn't realise how selfish I was being because Kemp assured me that he was okay with it. He said it was only going to be casual and I shouldn't think too much about it so I agreed. I shouldn't have." Type sighed audibly and Tharn furrowed his brows, curious to know what exactly happened. "The day I saw you off at the airport, I came back and met Kemp. That day, he told me he was in love with me and it sort of woke me up to what I was doing. I felt like a horribly selfish person because I knew that I could never love him back and I was only using him to get over you. I broke up with him that day." Type looked into Tharn's eyes to see if he could sense any sort of hesitation in them. He wanted to see if confessing something like that had changed Tharn's mind about him.

Tharn stared back at him, not really knowing what to say. He felt like a right fool. Type had even gone so far as to date someone else just to get over him while he was out there, thinking Type would never love him back. He felt like a real idiot for keeping shut and leaving. "I'm so sorry, Type." Tharn reached out and took Type’s hands into his, kissing the back of his hand.

Type was utterly relieved by that move. He had half-expected Tharn to recoil in disgust. He felt relieved at finally telling someone about what he had done and that Tharn didn't seem to think of him as the horrible human he had been.

"Wait, you also mentioned Nicolette knowing about it. How is that possible? She had been gone for a whole year…." Tharn said, breaking Type's musings, suddenly widening his eyes when the realisation of what that meant dawned on him as he stared at Type.

Type, seeing the surprise in Tharn's face, understood what was going on in his mind. "Yes. She knew. The whole time we were dating at that, apparently," Type said, making Tharn widen his eyes to a point where it looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets. "But that was a whole year before any of this happened," Tharn said, shocked that Type had had feelings for him for a lot longer than he had anticipated. It made his heart start to quiver with happiness.

"Yeah. And I was none the wiser. I had called her when I saw her engagement announcement and that's when she told me about it." Type looked at Tharn scowling in confusion, probably trying to wrap his head around what he was telling him. 

All Tharn could think about is how everyone around them got clued in on what was happening with them before either of them had. He wasn't the only clueless one, though. Type was just as oblivious about his feelings too. "What did she say?" He asked, suddenly curious to know about what Nicolette had noticed. 

"That she knew I had feelings for you because of the way I was with you. That I always talked about you and only wanted to hang out with you," Type said. "That's it? That makes no sense. We were best friends. Of course we'd want to hang out together and talk about each other all the time," Tharn said, feeling a little disappointed because he thought she would have had a more grand revelation.

"That's not all. She told me what happened on the night we went clubbing the first time," Type said, hesitating a little because his actions that day were downright embarrassing. Tharn looked at him in interest. "Oh, it was because we were dancing together?" Tharn asked, already knowing about that and the amount of doubt that revelation had put in his head to a point where he avoided getting close to Type till the day Nicolette left. 

"No," Type sighed. Tharn turned to look at Type, finally hearing something that indicated there was more to the story. "I had clung on to you the whole night after we were done dancing. I even tried to pull you into the cab to take you home with me when Nicolette and I were leaving." Tharn remembered that part because Type had told him about it before. 

"Once we got home, I refused to walk up to her apartment. I almost started to walk back to you but Nicolette had to convince me that you were waiting for me upstairs to even get me to her house. Once we were inside, I refused to let her touch me. I kept asking for you," Type said, averting his eyes before he continued on with the main part of the story. Tharn was just stunned in place. "And then, I started talking to the walls like I was conversing with you. Apparently…. Ummm…. I said…." Tharn stared at Type with bated breath. 

Type sighed, knowing he couldn't stall any further. "I declared my love for you. I said I loved you. That you're the only one I loved and some more things. She didn't elaborate on the rest. That's why Nicolette wanted me to distance myself from you," Type said as he carefully peeked at Tharn, embarrassed about what had happened. 

Tharn was catatonic for a second, in a good way. He couldn't believe Type had been in love with him for over a year before he even realised it. The happiness he was feeling at the moment was boundless. He leaned towards Type and rested his head against his shoulder keeping their hands on his lap. "Oh. That makes more sense," Tharn said, not being able to veil the joy in his tone. 

Type, hearing the lightness in his tone, relaxed a little and finally smiled at him. "I guess it's my turn now," Tharn said and stared out at nothing, preparing himself for the inevitable. 

Type perked up, excited to hear about his side of the story. "You were right about Dinh," Tharn said as he turned his body towards Type and buried his head deeper into his shoulder. Type was intrigued by what he possibly meant by that. "How was I right about him?"

Tharn furrowed his brows at the memory of Dinh, the embers of fury reigniting in his belly at the thought of him. "That I shouldn't have trusted him," Tharn said. Type widened his eyes in shock. "What? What did he do?" He asked, his mind already starting to plot the perfect murder. The old feelings of mistrust that he had for him started to take root in his mind again. He knew he was right. He shouldn't have let the momentary thought that his mistrust was based on the fact that he liked Tharn cloud his judgement. "He lied to me," Tharn said. Type gritted his teeth. "About?" 

"About us sleeping together the night we hung out together for the first time with him." Type widened his eyes in shock. "I knew it! I fucking knew it! It made no sense that you had sex with him when there were no condoms around the room the next day. We slept together twice and the room was literally littered with condoms both times," Type said and suddenly felt a rush of embarrassment because of dredging up the fact that they’ve had sex before. But, in the moment, they were no longer in denial of their feelings and those nights finally meant something other than them just being drunk.

Tharn's mind went into a similar line of thought, but quickly shook it off because there was more he needed to divulge about Dinh. "Yeah, you were right about that. I should have trusted my gut. I had to drag him all the way for a pointless STD test. And then he told me this whole sob story about his boyfriend leaving him to get married to a girl and how he lost hope to ever find someone who would care about him, feeding into my guilt to say yes to dating him," Tharn said, enraged at the thought. "Yeah, you were an idiot. If he hadn't walked out of your door that day wearing only his boxers, maybe I would have convinced you to think about it more. I was just so thrown off to see him in his undressed state thinking you guys were quite serious so I bit my tongue," Type said, still bitter about that piece of memory.

"I was equally as thrown off to see him walk out in his boxers because he was fully dressed when I walked out to open the door for you. I most definitely did not have sex with him the night before. Now that you mention it, that's probably what he wanted you to believe. He was such a manipulative snake and I never saw it," Tharn said with a scoff. He felt Type drawing soothing circles into the back of his hand and he tightened his grip just a little bit to show his gratitude. "Wait, why would he want me to believe that you guys had sex?" Type suddenly asked as he turned towards him inquisitively. 

Tharn lifted his head to look at him. "Because he figured out that I liked you way before I had ever figured it out myself. I was equally as blind as you about my feelings." Type was more than shocked to hear that as things started to add up in his head. Dinh would always try to be extra touchy and affectionate with Tharn when he was around, looking at him constantly, probably to gauge his reaction. "I think he knew about more than just your feelings. He knew about mine too," Type said as he sank back into his seat.

Tharn leaned forward and knitted his brows trying to understand what Type possibly meant by that. "How?"

"Think about it. He walked out in his boxers the day I came to talk to you even though you guys didn't have sex. He would always try to hold your hand or grab your waist when I was around and then threw these annoying looks at me to show me that you were his. He'd invite me out every time you guys hung out to show you off. He kissed you in that bar when he knew that I was sitting right in front of you guys," Type said, seething at the memory. 

Tharn hadn't even noticed those things, but he was right. Dinh tended to get more affectionate with him every time they hung out with Type, and that thought ignited more anger inside him. "That bastard! And to think I fucking fell for his stupid lie about his stupid boyfriend, who never existed, leaving him for a girl!" Type's eyes bugged out at that revelation. "He what?!?"

Tharn turned to see the fire in Type's eyes, scaring him a little. "Umm…. Yeah. He lied about his boyfriend. There never was one." Tharn tried to read Type's expression and all he saw was rage. 

"That fucking manipulative asshole! And to think the last thing I said to him was 'thank you'! I'm going to murder him. I'm going to kill him dead! How fucking dare he use your empathy like that?" Type half screamed. 

Tharn was a little scared by the look on his face. "Why did you thank him?" Type huffed angrily and shook his and Tharn’s entwined hands before he answered.

"Because he showed me how to get in touch with you. He told me you could message people on Instagram and I was so happy that I had found a way to reach you when I had been panicking about not being able to reach you for days. I felt so grateful to him. If I knew about this, I would have thanked him with my fist. And my foot," Type said seriously. 

Tharn, albeit scared, felt like his heart was enveloped by a warm hug at his words. He couldn't believe how angry Type was in his stead. He couldn't help but break into a smile. "Why the fuck are you smiling? I'm serious. If I ever cross paths with him again, I will beat him to the ground." 

"I'm thankful for that sentiment. It really warms my heart. But, please don't. I don't want to be separated from you again. There is not much I can do about it if you go to prison," Tharn said with a smile. 

Type, finally distracted from his murderous track of mind, started to chuckle. "Oh, yeah. That would be bad. Especially since I'm the manager of a very popular group," he said with a twinkle in his eyes. Tharn couldn't help but laugh. With his head thrown back he finally noticed the sky. He widened his eyes when he saw that the sky was turning light. But that is not what alarmed him. It was the angry purple blue clouds that were right over their heads ready to explode that jolted him off the bench. Right, the sky had been rumbling all night with no rain. So, it was going to come down hard. "It's morning," he said as he turned to look at Type. “And it also looks like it’s going to rain.” No sooner had the words left Tharn’s lips that thunder clapped over his head and fat droplets of water began to rain down on them.

Tharn, fearing Type might get sick, started to worry and try to tug Type off the park bench. When Type took too long to respond, he unconsciously began to spot jog as he worriedly looked up at the sky like as if the moment Type got on his feet, he’d start running. Tharn looked so adorable that Type couldn’t help it. He jumped off the bench and shouted, ”Catch!”

Tharn’s head snapped towards Type and the question left him on reflex,”What?”

“Me!” came the response but more than the word, what Tharn registered was the weight of Type in his arms as his hands instinctively went under Type’s thighs to support his weight.

Type had his legs wrapped around Tharn’s waist and a bewildered but happy Tharn looking up at him. He wrapped his arms around Tharn’s neck and laughed out loud.

“What are you doing?” Tharn asked laughing with him.

Type looked down at him, with the rain coming down in a storm over them. His head was the only thing keeping the water off of Tharn’s face. Tharn looked absolutely ethereal and the way his eyes had crinkled up into happy half-moons while looking at him almost made Type throw up rainbows. That look would only ever be for him; Tharn would only ever be for him.

“Being in love,” Type replied before he dipped his head and kissed Tharn senseless in the rain.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this was worth the wait! I'll make sure beta/co-author will not take close to a month to finish the next chapters. 
> 
> Do send beta all your support.
> 
> Beta, thank you. The emotions you bring to this chapter is exactly what I tried and failed to write. I just hope you keep this up. Please. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading! See you in the next one!


	42. 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! This was a lengthy one again so it took beta a while. 
> 
> Thank you for the sweet comments on the last chapter! You guys are so kind!

Tharn and Type walked out the elevator hand in hand and proceeded to the apartment door. There were a lot of emotions flowing through both of them. It was the first time they were going to step foot in that place in five years. They were both a little relieved that they had each other in the moment. 

Tharn's hand trembled slightly as he reached the key out to the door. This was a place of pain for him. It was here that he went through two very painful breakups. The place where he lost Type the night they slept together. The place he spent heartbroken when he realised he was in love with Type, absolutely sure that Type would never see him the same way. He was scared to physically enter a place that held that much pain.

Type, seeing the hesitance in his action and hearing the keys jingling as he brought his hand up to the door, felt Tharn’s nerves. He could see why because Tharn had mentioned how much he had gone through in this place. He knew he needed to be there for Tharn, to help him change those awful memories, like he had told him earlier. He tugged at the hand he was holding and gave it a light squeeze of reassurance.

Tharn turned to Type and saw him smiling at him. Then Type playfully bumped the side of his head with his own. Urging him to unlock the door and let Type in, both metaphorically and physically. He smiled back at him and pressed his temple against Type’s, as he finally turned the keys and heard the door unlock. Type grabbed hold of the handle and let himself in. Tharn trailed after him, tightening his hold on Type’s hand. 

They walked into the living area and Type untangled their hands to open the curtains. Tharn stood in the middle of the room, staring at the furniture covered with dust protectant sheets. The place looked so different but still the same. It just looked so empty and haunting, despite nothing about it having been changed for the last five years. It hadn't been lived in for that period so that was probably why it just seemed really eerie, he thought. 

Once Type opened up the curtains to let some light in, he turned back to see Tharn standing transfixed, staring at the couch, covered in a big white sheet. He recalled how Tharn practically lived on that same couch for a month when he had broken up with Pina. He recalled the many times they were splayed on it, watching movies or playing games. The place they had many conversations, downright dumb ones to serious heart to hearts, and smiled at the memories it held. 

He walked up to the longer end of the L shape and grabbed the ends of the sheet. He looked up at Tharn, waiting for him to help him out. Tharn, still caught up in his thoughts, didn't even notice Type’s move to the couch. He was suddenly pulled out of it when Type called his name softly. His head shot in his direction to see him holding the sheet covering the couch on one end. He stared at him, not really knowing why he had called for his attention, when Type smiled and indicated with his eyes at the other end of the couch. Tharn immediately jumped to that side of the couch, feeling like an idiot for not grasping the fact that Type needed help to take the cover off. 

Type chuckled at his fumbling attempt to reach for the cover, almost tripping on his own feet. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three." They lifted the sheet off and let it fall behind the couch, making dust fly up in the air. They both sneezed at the same time and then looked at each other with a smile on each of their faces, amused at where they were, how long it had been and what it took for them to reach that point, standing in front of each other, both finally aware that they loved each other.

Type plopped down on the couch and motioned for Tharn to join him. Tharn walked over and sat right beside Type, taking his hand in his.

"This place looks so different. Even though it's not. Everything is exactly the way I remember. It just feels so…." 

"Hollow?" Tharn completed Type's attempt at finding the right word to describe the way he was feeling. Type turned to look at him, wide eyed. "Yes! Exactly. It feels really…. soulless." That hit the nail on the head for the way Tharn was feeling about being in his apartment in such a long time as he nodded in agreement and let his head rest on Type’s shoulder.

"Probably because no one has been in here for five years," Tharn said as he wandered his eyes around. Type could feel that absence of the lived in-ness in the space around him. He figured that's why it felt so different. He also felt how empty the place seemed. It relieved him to some level, because it meant that they could start fresh. They could fill this place with better memories.

"How is it? Is this place bringing up any unsavoury feelings?" Type asked, craning his head back to look at him. Tharn smiled at that. "Actually, no." Type was relieved to hear that, the tension finally leaving his body and he looked down at the ground and smiled. 

"This place feels so empty. The life I lived here feels like it didn't happen here. It's like, I remember what happened and I know all of it happened here. But, it's like this is not the same place. You know? I don't know how to explain it," Tharn said, truthfully. He was surprised himself, especially when he had been so scared to even enter the apartment but, as soon as he had crossed the threshold, all that trepidation had dissipated into thin air.

Type relaxed his neck and nodded, happy to hear that Tharn was feeling the same way he was. "I know. It feels like a different place to me too. It's weird. But that's good," he said, smiling at Tharn. "It means we won't have a problem filling this place with good memories because every memory from now on will be a good one," he continued.

Hearing that, Tharn felt a burning urge to kiss Type on his beautiful mouth. So he did. Because now, he could kiss Type whenever he wanted. "This is one of them right now," Tharn said, lips turning up in happiness as he pulled back. He still couldn't believe the fact that Type and him were together now. 

"Let's start by taking all of these drab sheets off all the furniture. They're making this house look like a set from an 80's horror film," Type said with a chuckle. He looked around to see that Type was right, his apartment did look like a set design for a bad horror film. He smiled up at Type and pushed himself off the couch. "Let's do this room first," he said as he grabbed the ends of the sheet covering the centre table. Type bent down to grab the other end of the sheets and they yanked it off together, sending another plume of dust up in the air. Tharn, not having the foresight to cover his nose like Type did, sneezed when he inhaled the dust. Type started to laugh, seeing which, Tharn felt a warmth spreading through his entire being. He still couldn't believe he had Type back in his life. 

They giggled like little children as they proceeded to take the covers off all the furniture in the room, each trying to make the other person sneeze by trying to make the dust fly in their direction. Tharn had come up with a more efficient method of blocking the dust by shoving his face into the bend of his elbow, which Type mimicked when they were taking off the sheet on the dining table. 

They then moved to the guest room, where the war continued, followed by Tharn's bedroom. They took off the sheets from the tables, the love seat, the shelves and finally grabbed the final sheet on the bed. Tharn nodded at Type once he had grasped the end on his side. They pulled off the sheet in one fluid motion and dropped it at the foot of the bed. They smiled at each other, and Type flopped onto the bed, stomach first. Tharn stared down at him affectionately and sat down on the bed, crossing his legs. 

Type looked up at him and an unanswered question suddenly popped up in his head that he had thought of earlier, before he got distracted by how much they each had to share. "Tharn?" 

Tharn looked down at him with a smile on his face, hearing his name falling out of his mouth. Something he had missed so dearly for so long. "Yes, Type?"

"I wanted to know something you had mentioned earlier," he said, a little unsure how to put that question into words without feeling embarrassed. Tharn smiled and bent his head to one side. "Which part? We spoke about a lot of things."

Type felt a little let down for Tharn not being able to read his mind because that meant he'd actually have to vocalise the question, making the embarrassment slowly climb up his chest, he pushed himself to a sitting position. "Ummm…. earlier when we were talking about when you realised you had feelings for me, you mentioned something else. I wanted to know about that," Type said, a little unsure. Tharn, confused about what he meant, furrowed his brows. "What did I mention?"

Type felt the embarrassment hitting him harder when he realised he would have to spell it out for Tharn, gone was the teasing confidence he had displayed back at the garden. "You know, you mentioned the thing about when you…." Type pointed his index towards him and then to himself back and forth, trying to say it without actually saying it. 

Tharn furrowed his brows harder, utterly confused about what he was trying to say to him. "When I, what?"

Type took a sharp breath, knowing he needed to get it out in one go. "Whenyoutoldmeyou’vebeeninlovewithmesinceelementaryschool?" He asked in one breath, feeling his entire face heat up, painfully aware he probably looked like a ripe tomato.

Tharn felt his heart stutter when he saw his face flushed in embarrassment. It was a sight to behold in bright morning light. He felt the sudden daze Type had put him under, slowly ebb when he felt the embarrassment Type was currently feeling climb up his body. He didn't even know how to begin. "It’s exactly as I told you," he said sincerely.

Type felt his excitement for hearing the answer to that question plummet. Well, it wasn’t really a question. He just wanted Tharn to elaborate upon it. He was avoiding Tharn's gaze because he didn't want to show him how disappointed he was feeling by that reply. 

Tharn, seeing Type suddenly go very quiet and avoid his eyes, knew that he had to save the moment. "I've always been somewhat in love with you," he said. Type shot his head up, absolutely not expecting a reply like that. "What? Really!" He pretty much screamed, not being able to hold back his shock and excitement. 

Tharn chuckled lightly, happy to see the immediate change in Type's demeanour. "Yes. You were my first crush after all," he admitted. Type's eyes were the size of saucers as he registered those words in his somewhat muddled mind. He couldn't begin to wrap his head around what that meant. "Wait, you mean me? Your first crush?" He asked incredulously. 

"Yes. But I didn't know it was that till many years later. You were pretty much instrumental in me figuring out my sexuality much earlier than I would have without you," Tharn finally admitted, feeling happy to let that secret out. Type was dumbfounded. Tharn was the reason he figured out his own sexuality and to hear he had done the same to him, made his heart feel even fuller. 

"It just changed and evolved over the years, but it was always there. Back when we met in college, I think it would have fully formed back to the kind of love I had for you when we were younger, had it not been for Pina," he continued. Type felt anger swell in his belly at the mention of her name. "Can we not talk about that bitch? I had forgotten she existed, till you mentioned her again," he said, fuming. 

"But you wanted to know, right? She was a part of my journey to you. I did love her. I loved her a lot, but I came to the realisation that I loved you as well, you meant more to me than Pina could ever have. You were the one thought that occupied my mind at all times and my feelings for Pina could never compare to the place you held in my heart. The place you've always held and as the years passed, the hold just got stronger. You've always had my entire heart," Tharn said. Type like he was drowning in happiness at Tharn's confession.

"Remember when she broke up with me and I basically was living life like a hermit on the couch for a whole month?" Tharn asked, that seemed to yank Type to the surface, the rage coiling tight in his chest at the memory of that time. He saw how Tharn was wasting away because of her betrayal. He had a sudden urge to travel to Phuket to finally give her a piece of his mind. And maybe a few limbs. "Yes. I remember it too well. I still want to murder her for what she did to you," he spat.

Tharn, amused at how genuinely angry Type still was even though it had been a long time, grinned at him. "Why the fuck are you smiling? I'm serious," Type said angrily. 

Tharn shook his head and looked back at him with fondness in his eyes, threading his fingers with his. "But do you remember what it was like? You remember my state? I thought I'd never get over that heartbreak," Tharn said. Type nodded, angry at Pina and saddened by the memory of Tharn curled up on the couch day in and day out. "Yeah. I thought I'd lose you to the couch," Type said, pulling a chuckle out of Tharn.

"Yeah, I was completely over that when you cut me off after the first time we slept together. She didn't even cross my mind for months because all I was worried about was you. About losing you. Yes, I was still devastated, but at least I wasn't crying over someone who didn't deserve my tears," Tharn said with a wistful smile. 

Type felt his chest constrict painfully, being reminded of what he had done to Tharn. Even now, he wished he had dealt with his issues earlier on so he would never have to put Tharn through that. He sat up and pulled their clasped hands unto his chest, holding them there. "I'm so sorry, Tharn. I was such an asshole. I shouldn't have done that to you. You didn't deserve that," he said looking sincerely into Tharn’s eyes. "It's in the past. You don't have to apologise for it because it wasn't your fault. You were dealing with your own trauma. Also, you came back. You made amends for leaving me, even though it was because of a very valid reason. You came back to me," Tharn said as he leaned forward and kissed the tip of Type’s nose. Type felt himself blush at the action.

"I think that's the night I should have realised I had feelings for you. I would never have slept with you if I didn't have some sort of emotions spurring me on. I know that even better because every time I had to sleep with Dinh, it felt like my soul was trying to claw out of my throat. I was so turned off by the prospect of having to perform every single time," he said with a shiver. 

Type knitted his eyebrows at that, a little lick of jealousy lapping at his belly. It's not like he didn't know that they slept together, he assumed they probably had. But hearing it confirmed, he couldn't help but feel the jealousy jump out in him. It helped to hear that Tharn wasn't into it, though.

"I slept with him twice. Both out of guilt. I just pushed myself to accept the fact that I was dating him by being with him physically, but it was worse each time," Tharn continued. "Okay, let's stop talking about that or else I'm going to strangle you and then him if I have to hear more about you sleeping with other people," Type interjected, not being able to hold back his jealousy. 

Tharn chuckled, seeing the serious look on his face. "Okay, okay. That's all that there was to it. I just wanted to let you know that I am sure that my love for you was very much real at that point for me to have slept with you. Three times at that," Tharn said as he scooted closer and took Type into his embrace. Type felt joy and embarrassment duelling in his belly at Tharn’s words but let his body mould itself to Tharn’s as he rested his forehead on his shoulder. He took a deep inhale and got a lungful of Tharn. He could definitely get used to this. 

"What about you?" Tharn asked, surprising Type. He hadn't expected for the tables to be turned. He knew he had to tell Tharn, no matter how embarrassing, because Tharn had laid his heart bare to him. He had no other choice but to reciprocate. "I think I always liked you too," Type spoke into Tharn’s clavicle.

Tharn did not expect that at all. He stared down at Type tucked away into the crook of his neck wide eyed, his jaw dropped. "What?"

A giggle escaped Type's throat, hearing Tharn’s disbelief. "Yeah. I think I've always liked you too. I remember how I used to be extremely curious about you when we were kids. Everyone would say things about you, but I never really believed them. There was just something that made me gravitate towards you. My best memories from my childhood all have you in it, even though I had plenty of other friends. I remember how safe I felt with you when you had come to sleepover at my place the first time. I guess, the only time. You always intrigued me. Also, since you were so small back then, I had this instinctive urge to protect you from everything." Tharn swallowed thickly, remembering just how much Type actually did protect him. How much happiness he brought to him. He felt his eyes start to sting, knowing how much Type had actually gone through back then. He pulled Type closer to him, practically dragging Type into his lap. Type did not mind that at all.

"And then, when we met again, I think I pretty much picked up where we left off. I'm pretty sure I was smitten with you the first time I laid eyes on you," Type continued. Tharn widened his eyes, not expecting that either. "What?"

Type chuckled, having pulled back a little so he could see the look of utter shock on his face. "Yeah. I was a goner as soon as I saw you. The first thing that ran through my mind was 'Fuck, he's attractive as hell' and then when I realised you were Tharn, I'm pretty sure I was already falling in love with you. When we started hanging out more, it just probably pushed me further into the deep end. I was a hundred percent in love with you while I was dating Nicolette. I was a hundred percent in love with you even when you were dating Pina. I'd say I'm sorry about that, but I won't. Pina is a bitch whore."

Tharn let out an involuntary laugh at the innovative insult he threw in to summarise something so beautiful. "That she is. But she doesn't matter anymore." Tharn grinned.

"Dinh is a turd from hell."

Tharn laughed out again, unaware that Type wasn't done yet. "Yes, he is. But he doesn't matter anymore either," Tharn said with a smile. He leaned his back against the headrest of the bed, pulling Type with him. He wasn’t going to let him go anytime soon. He had missed out on way too many years of cuddles with Type that he needed to compensate for. He tucked Type’s head under his chin and just held him close. Type reciprocated every move Tharn made by just letting Tharn do as he liked. He wanted to be held, cuddled, cared for by Tharn. He turned his head slightly and pressed a kiss on Tharn’s chest. Tharn’s breath stuttered at that and he felt the arms around him tighten.

"I still feel like a fool for leaving. We would have had this years ago if I had just stayed," Tharn said, melancholy colouring his tone. Type slowly nodded in agreement with him and massaged little circles onto Tharn’s waist, as another question started to nag him. "Why did you? You said it was because you love me? Was that your way of trying to get over me? Because you thought I was happy with Kemp?" 

Tharn felt a heavy weight sitting on his chest when he heard that question leave his lips. There was still a lot Type had to know. He sighed and closed his eyes. "Well, yes. But it was also because that's how I thought I got over you the first time. When you left back in school, I was devastated. I missed you everyday for a long time. But, as time passed, I started to feel better. I didn't know I was in love with you back then, but the years apart had helped me forget about you. You had become a fond memory in my mind, but I wasn't thinking of you every moment. I thought I needed to do that again to be properly over you."

Type scowled his hand stilling, feeling a little guilty, but also a little flustered at Tharn's logic. "The fuck? So that was the whole reason for you to fuck off for 5 fucking years? You thought you'd 'get over me' if you just avoided seeing me for years?" Tharn winced at the irritation in his voice. "That's not all."

Type's frustration changed to confusion at that. "Huh?" 

Tharn gulped, knowing he had to tell him the truth. This was something he couldn't keep inside anymore. "A part of me wanted to get over you by leaving, but another part of me wanted to leave because I was scared of what would actually happen if we somehow miraculously got into a relationship."

Type lifted himself off of Tharn so he could look at Tharn’s face. "What? What does that mean?" 

Tharn bowed his head and looked at Type’s hand resting on his waist with a long face.

"My track record showed me that I was bad at relationships. Every relationship I ever had, bar one, ended in a big disaster. I especially had worse luck with same sex relationships given how it ended with Dinh and…. Pravat."

Type, hearing the name of the old boyfriend of Tharn for the first time, felt an odd feeling starting to envelop him. He hadn't heard much about his first boyfriend much, but he could feel that it wasn't a good story, given that he had grouped that experience with Dinh, and Dinh was a doozy. "What happened with your first boyfriend?" Type heard himself ask, not even knowing he had started to speak. Before he could take it back, he heard Tharn sighing, something he did before he started to speak about a difficult topic, so he shut his mouth and gave his waist a little squeeze. He was a little curious to know, at the end of the day. 

"He was my first boyfriend whom I met at a cafe, like I told you. He figured I liked men too and asked me out. I was so enamoured by a guy, a college graduate none the least, wanted to date me. I was just a naïve little school boy, not knowing a thing about dating men, but incredibly curious to do so. He basically swept me off my feet, so to say," Tharn said with a sad chuckle. Type tightened his grip on him, not really knowing why.

"He showed me everything and opened my eyes to the side of me I was aware of, but never explored. He took me places, introduced me to lots of new people, showed me things I'd never seen before, helped me experience new things. I was so incredibly in love with him. I was so happy, I thought I was going to grow up and marry him someday. That clearly didn't happen," Tharn said, sadly. "What did he do?" Type couldn't contain himself. 

"He just…. changed his mind about me. I don't know if he was fully to blame though. It was something I probably did," Tharn said. "And since you have a habit of blaming yourself for everything, I'm not going to believe that at all," Type said immediately. 

Tharn smiled sadly, wishing that was true. "No. I think I did have something to do with it. Because of how inexperienced I was, I was figuring myself out when I was dating him. I realised that I didn't like being the bottom, and that's when things changed." Type felt like he was hit by a tonne of bricks. He never imagined Tharn as the bottom. Everything about him screamed top, who could most definitely top other tops. "You were a bottom?" Type asked, eyes wider than he thought he could make them. 

Tharn turned to look at the look of shock on his face and started to laugh. "Yeah. I was still small when we started dating. I hadn't had my growth spurt back then. I was still about half a foot shorter than him. But then, over the next year, I started to grow, and grow really fast. I was taller than him within a year of us dating and that's when it started to go south.

He would tell me that I seemed like a completely different person. He always told me how much cuter I was when I was smaller. Things just went to shit when I asked him to switch, curious about what it would be like to be the top. Bottoming never really sat well with me. He was hesitant, but he finally agreed. 

The first time I topped, it felt so natural. I didn't have the same reservation that I did when I bottomed. I loved everything about it. That's how I figured out that I preferred to be the top.

He didn't like that. He always tried to make me switch back, but I would stand my ground. I knew he enjoyed bottoming, and I didn't see why we had to switch when I didn't like to bottom. 

So, one day, I was feeling really guilty about not letting him top me, when he asked me for it constantly so I decided I was going to let him do it. I decided to surprise him at his condo. 

It was quite late in the night and I snuck in. I quietly made my way to his bedroom, but the closer I got to the door, I started to hear weird sounds coming from inside. I thought he was watching a movie, but I was snapped into reality when I heard someone moan his name out loud.

I felt my body go numb as I continued to the room, needing to confirm it with my own eyes. I knew what I was going to find on the other side of the door, but I wasn't prepared for what I was going to see." Tharn took a slow breath as Type held his, both preparing themselves. 

"He was thrusting inside a boy who looked strikingly like me when we had first started dating. He was so into it that he didn't even hear me open the door. When the boy he was fucking, opened his eyes and saw me standing at the door, he gasped and that's when Pravat finally turned to see me."

Type felt white hot rage lashing inside his body. Even though he'd never met this Pravat, he knew that he wanted to hurt him. Hurt him so bad that his own mother wouldn’t be able to recognise him. 

"His excuse was one I saw coming a mile away. He said he liked me when I was small and cute, that he didn't like being the bottom in a relationship. That I wasn't the same boy he fell in love with. I was devastated. I thought he was it for me, but he didn't see me the same way. At least not anymore. So, it wasn't really his fault. He had a type and I just turned out to not be it. It wasn't under my control or under his," Tharn said. Type pushed himself off completely and sat facing Tharn. He put his hands on either side of Tharn's face and bore into his eyes. "The hell it wasn't! He was a fucking pedo, piece of shit, predator!"

Tharn felt his breath quicken, when he realised his story might have triggered something in Type. He quickly sat up and stared at him, worried to the bone. "I'm sorry, Type. I didn't mean to make you think about what happened to you. I was aware of what I was doing. I know he was much older than me, but it was consensual between us. I shouldn't have broached this topic, I'm so sorry!"

Type was stumped by his reaction. He couldn't believe that Tharn was once again finding a way to blame himself for something. He slid his hands down to grab his biceps and said with a sigh, "The only thing about your story that is triggering is how much of a piece of shit your boyfriend was. He basically took advantage of you and then threw you aside when you grew out of his ideal proportions. You had nothing to do with him cheating. If he wasn't happy in your relationship, he should have had the decency to end it with you before going balls deep into someone else. He is another scum in the list of assholes you've dated."

Tharn didn't have words to explain how he felt when he heard Type say that to him. He was right, after all. Pravat didn't have to cheat on him. He could have always broken it off if he was so unhappy. 

"So that's why you felt like you needed to leave? Did you think I'd pull an asshole move on you if we ever started to date?" Type asked, breaking Tharn from his thoughts. "What? No! That's not why. I just knew I was shit at relationships and I didn't want that to happen to us, in case of the eventuality of us dating," Tharn said, flustered. 

"You know, your history just says one thing. You need to stop going out with people who ask you out. You should go out with someone you pick, someone you ask out," Type said, pretty happy with the conclusion he had drawn, still thinking about how Tharn was always treated like shit by everyone he had dated. 

Tharn realised he was right. All of these people had been the ones to initiate the relationship and it always turned out shit. He would always end up going into them blind and then end up being blindsided by the way they would leave him in the end. The lies, the manipulation, the hurt. But it never broke his spirit. He always had hope in love. And as he stared at the face of the man in front of him, looking like he was doing advanced calculus in his head, he knew he was right to keep that hope alive. 

"You're right, I guess. So, will you go out with me?"

Type snapped his head up to look at Tharn and stared at him, completely stunned, his hand falling to his sides. He had assumed they had already confessed so it probably meant they were already dating. He forgot to factor in the fact that they hadn't actually officially confirmed it with each other. He felt the words dry out in his mouth when he realised how Tharn had turned his own words around to slap him in the face with a proposal. All he could do was nod.

"Is that a yes?" Tharn asked with a smile, seeing the rapid shift of emotions on his face. Type, still trying to find his voice, coughed to clear his throat. "Yes," he croaked out in a small voice. "I mean, yes!" He finally said, clearly.

Tharn crawled up closer to him and brought his hand up to caress his face. They both looked into each other's eyes, the moment feeling extremely surreal to both of them. Tharn closed the distance between their faces further, bringing his lips inches away from Type's. He looked into the eyes of the man he had wanted to be with for most of his life, wanting to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. Type was finally his. As much as he was Type's. 

"I love you."

Type, feeling the wind being knocked out of his lungs by that intimate confession, something he had been wanting to hear again for hours, brought his lips even closer to Tharn's. 

"I love you too."

Type closed the distance between them and kissed the breath out of Tharn’s lungs, the hunger he had for him being unleashed with every movement of their lips. He brought his hands up to caress Tharn's neck as he kissed him with full vigour.

Tharn felt like he was falling into a pit of pleasure as Type ravaged his lips with an intensity he didn't know could make him feel light headed and grounded at the same time. He brought his hand that was resting on his cheek to the back of his head, threading his fingers through his locks. 

Type, feeling Tharn's hands in his hair, felt a little bolder as he swiped his lower lips with his tongue. He felt a shiver run down Tharn and his mind was immediately clouded by the feeling it birthed inside him. He coaxed Tharn's mouth open with his tongue, pushing it inside to swipe the inside of his mouth.

Tharn, drunk on the feeling of Type's tongue playing within his mouth, fisted his hair as he proceeded to push his own tongue into Type's mouth. He lapped at his tongue with purpose, feeling Type start to move his tongue along with his own. 

Type was in heaven. He didn't know kissing could feel this good. This right. Tharn's tongue in his mouth was eliciting a peculiar feeling that was starting to pool in the bottom of his stomach, spreading warmth inside him. When he felt Tharn nip at his upper lip, the warmth spread further down, jolting his nether regions into action. 

Type brought one hand down to Tharn's chest and the other to his shoulder. He started to slowly crawl into his lap, needing to bring himself closer to his body.

Tharn, quite lost in the moment, felt Type starting to put his legs around his waist, his weight now lying on his lap, their groins coming deliciously closer to each other. He grabbed Type's hips as he plundered his mouth, fighting for breath, his mind even hazier now. 

Type, kept up the dance of their tongues, feeling Tharn's hands digging into his hips. That was all the signal he needed to start to grind his hardened member against Tharn's, anchoring himself with his hands on his broad shoulders.

Tharn let out a lustful moan when he felt Type's hardness starting to move against his own. He was losing himself in the moment, but the part of his brain that was still working, brought him back to his senses. He opened his eyes and grabbed Type's shoulders. He pushed him off himself slightly. 

Type, feeling himself being shoved away, opened his eyes and stared at Tharn, trying to understand what was happening, his mind still lost in what they had been doing. 

"We shouldn't. It's…. Let's just. Let's cool off. We just started. I just asked you out. We can't just jump to this immediately. I mean…."

Type, hearing what Tharn was saying, but deciding it was bullshit, jumped right back into the same position. He brought a hand up to squeeze Tharn's face. "Type, I'm serious. We haven't even been on our first date yet," Tharn said, struggling to keep his sanity with Type so close to him.

"So what? We've been in love with each other for so long. We've practically been on hundreds of dates by now," Type said as he brought his lips to connect with Tharn's. 

Before he could lose himself in the moment, Tharn turned his face away from Type. "But still. I just asked you out. We just started dating. We should wait," Tharn mustered between sharp intakes of breaths. 

Type leaned back to look at Tharn. He could see how much he wanted it too. It was literally poking his lower abdomen at the moment. He knew he had to be the one to give them both what they wanted. Something they had both been waiting for. For far too long.. 

"Oh, fuck off!"

Type said as he dove back into Tharn, trapping him between the headrest and Type’s heated body. He wished he had said something more poetic before he grabbed Tharn's hair and captured his lips once more, but he figured he had all the time in the world to write Tharn poetry of epic proportions. They were going to be together for the rest of their lives, after all. 

  
  
  
  


**The End**

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've arrived. This is it. This story took up most of this year for me. It feels surreal to finally see it finished.
> 
> I hope the ending wasn't too disappointing. I was so emotionally drained from all the angst I wrote that I had to give these characters an ending that they deserved for my own sanity. That is why the last two chapters are so long. I didn't know when to stop writing.
> 
> But, it's not totally over yet. An epilogue is on its way. I should tell you all to prepare yourselves, because it's going to be a long one. Much longer than any of the chapters I've written so far. I'll try to get it out as soon as possible. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed coming on this journey with me! See you soon!!


	43. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for making you guys wait. Both my beta and I got super busy with work. This is a very very very long chapter so it took beta a while to proofread. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

Type was having a  _ wonderful  _ day. He forgot to set an alarm before he went to sleep so he had all of 20 minutes to have his breakfast, get ready and get to work. He turned to Tharn's side of the bed and felt the frustration climb up inside him again. He didn't come home last night, again. He hadn't seen him for three days. This was getting ridiculous. He had been too busy for the launch of his new game and so he had been staying over at his office for the past few days. Type felt he would've been okay with it if it was just the last three days, but Tharn had been AWOL for the past month. He felt like he hadn't talked to him in ages. 

He pushed himself off the bed and walked to the kitchen to prepare a quick breakfast. He set a pan on the stove and picked up the oil dispenser. As soon as he tilted it, the top popped off and the oil flooded the pan, the stove and the backsplash. "Fuck!"

Type slammed the bottle down on the counter and emptied the oil in the sink. He placed the, now, well oiled pan back on the stove and moved to the refrigerator to grab some eggs. As soon as he turned towards the stove, one of the eggs escaped his grasp and fell on the floor. "Fuck!"

He placed the good egg on the counter and grabbed a whole bunch of kitchen towels to clean the destruction on the floor. Feeling like nothing was going right for him, he threw the soiled towels in the garbage bin. 

He finally cracked the good egg, but as soon as he split the shell, one half of it fell into the pan, sending his frustration off the roof. He tried to grab the shell with the spatula but he managed to somehow break the shell into smaller pieces, sending small, unretrievable pieces of shell all over the half cooked egg. Nothing was going to go his way. "Fuck!!!"

He flung the spatula in the general direction of the sink, turned off the gas, grabbed the pan and dumped the contents into the garbage and huffed into the bedroom to change before he hulked out in the kitchen. He decided to just get breakfast at work. 

°°°

  
  


Type had just taken the first bite of his breakfast sandwich, when his office door flew open and an overtly happy Jake walked in with a huge grin on his face. 

Type had left his earlier company when the boys' contract expired and they decided to break up the band to all go solo. Type started his own entertainment company and Jake decided to sign with him, for which he would always be thankful. Jake had helped him get a running start in the industry with his pre-established fame. He was a big artist even today and Type's biggest artist to date.

Type returned his bright grin with a small smile, because that's all he could muster in the moment. "Good morning, boss!" Jake wished him, brightly.

"Morning. How come you're here this early? I thought you had a photoshoot at noon," Type asked. Jake furrowed his brows when he finally saw his pained expression. "I just decided to hang out with you till I have to leave. What's with your face? Did something happen? Is it Tharn?"

Type leaned back in his seat, a little surprised at just how on the nose his guess was. "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, that's all," he said with a sigh. Jake, keeping his eyes on Type, walked up to his desk and sat on the chair opposite to him.

"Because of Tharn?" He asked again. Type, knowing that the tone in his voice meant that he wasn't going to give up, decided to just let him know the truth. "Kind of."

"Okay. What happened? Tell me everything," Jake said, crossing his arms on the desk expectantly. "Not much. I just haven't seen him for the last three days. He's been sleeping in his office," Type said, realising just how down he was really feeling when he finally vocalised it. 

"Did you guys have a fight?" Jake perked up, eyes wide. Type immediately shook his head, not wanting to give him the wrong idea. "No! He's just busy with the launch preparation for his new game. I'm just a little frustrated because I feel like I haven't seen him, much less talked to him in months," he said, leaning back in his seat, feeling a little better about having someone to vent to. God knows he wasn't dealing with it very well on his own. 

"Oh, yeah! That's happening next week, right?" Jake asked, not masking the excitement in his voice. Type narrowed his eyes, a little miffed at him for losing track of their conversation at one mention of the game. He was so enamoured when he found out that Type was dating the person who made his favourite game to a point where he was constantly on his back to introduce him to Tharn so he could 'shake the hand of the genius who made the best game in the world', in his words. Type knew it would be difficult to bring him back to what they were talking about because their discussion had changed at the mention of the sequel to Legend and Jake hadn't stopped talking about it for the past year. "Yeah. Next week," Type said, a little deflated. 

"So, you're just feeling sad about not being able to spend more time with your boyfriend?" Jake asked. Type turned to stare at him, surprised that he didn't forget about their conversation. "Yeah, I guess. I can't even blame him because it's work. He doesn't really bother me when I am caught up with work for album launches, concerts and tours, so I can't really turn around and be mad at him for putting so much effort into his." Jake nodded, understanding what he meant. "Yeah, I guess not. But you should at least talk to him about it."

Type knew he was right. For the jokester Jake usually was, he was a surprisingly good listener and always gave him great advice on his relationship. It would never cease to surprise Type because Jake had never been in a serious relationship himself. He would jump from person to person, creating a lot of talk behind the scenes, making the company clamour to cover up his trail of spurned lovers. Type couldn't even hold it against him because he brought in most of the revenue, so he only thought it fit that they didn't complain about having to work double because of him.

"I will. If I get to even see his face before the launch," Type said, not able to hide his frustration. "You will. You think Tharn can go a whole week without seeing you? Remember when we went on the South Asia tour and he showed up two days into the concerts because he missed you too much?" Jake asked with a shit-eating grin. Type did remember that. He was over the moon when Tharn knocked on his hotel room door at 2 in the morning. He recalled how surprised and happy he was to see him standing in the hallway. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I know I'm right. When have I ever been wrong?" Jake said, proudly. Type had quite the befitting answer to that question, given they had just settled an issue with his newest conquest two days back to try and avoid a scandal in the media, but he knew it wasn't the place to talk about that so he bit his tongue and gave him a sarcastic nod. "Never."

"Don't think I can't hear the sarcasm in your tone," Jake said, making Type chuckle. He turned to look at his computer screen and the sound was lost in his throat when he saw the screen update. There was a new article right on top, his heart stopped when he read the headline.

_ Tharn Kirigun spotted on a date with Waan Chirathivat. Is the gaming mogul planning on popping the question to the star? _

"What the fuck!?" Jake screamed. Type hadn't noticed when he had left his seat and walked up behind him, but he had no strength left in him to even react. His ears started to ring as the noise around him started to sound distant and garbled. He lost all sense of being, the headline doing laps around his mind over and over. 

"...pe…. Type…. Type!!"

"Huh?" He turned to look at Jake, not really sure how long he had been trying to get his attention. "I said, you need to talk to him right now. Better yet, let me call him and set him straight. Did you see that picture? Why was he holding her hand?" Jake asked, reflecting the anger that Type should have been feeling, but all he felt in the moment was numb. It was like deja vu, but worse this time around because, this time, Tharn was his. Tharn had been his for five years. The hollow feeling in his chest was increasing by the minute. "Why is his number busy?" Jake said as he tapped on the dial icon again. 

Type finally snapped out of it when he saw the anger on Jake's face, who had his phone pressed against his ear, knuckles white. "No!" Type screamed suddenly as he grabbed at his phone and cut the call. "Why not? I need to give him a piece of my mind," he said, anger still evident in his tone. 

"I'll talk to him. It's better if I talk to him about it since it's about us," Type said. Jake furrowed his brows and stared at him for a while, but finally nodded. "Yeah. You're right. But I'm going to say something to him soon so you better talk to him fast," Jake said as he grabbed his phone from Type's hand. Type nodded and looked back at the screen. His chest constricted painfully when he saw the picture again. Tharn looked like he was smiling as he held the actress's hand in his palm. Type needed an explanation and he knew he needed it as soon as possible. 

°°°

  
  


Type parked his car in the spot that Tharn had reserved for him in his company parking lot. He got out of the car and slammed the door shut. 

Type tapped his foot nervously as the elevator ascended to the top floor to Tharn's office. As soon as the door started to open, he leapt out and ran to Tharn's office. He breezed past the assistant desk, not really hearing what she was saying as he burst into Tharn's office to find it empty. He stared at his desk and turned to look at the room. He could see that Tharn had been camped in his office by how unkempt and messy everything inside was. "Sir, Mr. Kirigun just stepped out to see off his guests."

The assistant's voice pulled him out of his crazed mission to find Tharn and rip him a new one. He turned around and looked at the meek woman in her grey skirt suit. "He's downstairs in the lobby." That's all he needed to hear. He ran back to the elevator.

Type eyed the entirety of the lobby, searching for Tharn, as he walked towards the main entrance. As soon as he walked out, he saw Tharn standing with a group of people in front of a black SUV. His breath caught in his throat when his eyes landed on the woman from the article. She was laughing at something Tharn had said as she reached out to touch his arm lovingly. Type saw red. His body went on autopilot, his legs taking him towards Tharn.

He came to a halt behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. Tharn turned around and the smile on his face, turned to one of shock, twisting the knot in Type's stomach even tighter. "Type? What are you doing here?"

Type stared at him, wide eyed, not understanding why Tharn didn't know the reason for his visit. He knew this wasn't the place to make a scene so he held himself back and smiled at him, eyes still cold. "What do you mean? I haven't seen you in days. I just decided to come say hi. You know, in case you forgot about my existence," he said through gritted teeth. 

Tharn's face changed from shock to wide eyed worry, making Type feel even worse. He knew Tharn understood what he was saying but couldn't really defend himself without letting on about their situation to his shareholders. 

"Who's this?" Waan asked, making Tharn turn around to look at her. Type felt disappointment start to colour his vision when he saw the panic in Tharn's face as he looked back and forth from Waan to him. "He's…. a friend. My childhood friend," Tharn said with a charming smile. Type felt his insides twist further. He knew that's all he was going to be in public to Tharn, given he was the face of their company. He couldn't come out, not without the company suffering. Type knew that for a fact, but he couldn't help but feel disappointed that he wouldn't at least try to clear the air with her, given they were being linked to each other. Type felt a burning urge to stake his claim on what was his. Metaphorically pee all over him, so to say. 

Type brought his hand up to try to grasp Tharn's from behind him. Tharn, feeling Type's fingers on his palm, knew what he was trying to do, so he quickly snatched his hand away and proceeded to shake hands with the shareholders and Waan, bidding them farewell.

Type looked at the ground, the feeling of rejection eating away at him. He never expected Tharn to reject him that blatantly. He wanted to crawl into a hole of self pity and die. Before he had time to think, he felt himself being led back into the building by the crook of his elbow. He was too engrossed in his own pity party to even register that they were now in Tharn's office.

"What the fuck was that?" Tharn asked angrily. Type, hearing his tone, finally felt the rage start to build up inside him as he stared daggers at Tharn. "What the fuck was that? That was me trying to hold my boyfriend's hand. That was me trying to show that girl that you are mine!" He spat.

"What the fuck, Type! Why do you need to do that? Why does she need to know we are dating? Did you not see that our shareholders were there too?" Tharn spat back. "All I could see was her and she needed to know that you aren't available."

"Why does she need to know that? She's just one of the characters in our game. She doesn't need to know about my personal life," Tharn said, irritation evident in his tone. "Oh, really? Then why the fuck were you holding her hand? Why were you smiling at her? Why does everyone think you guys are dating and that you're going to ask her to marry you? Is this you trying to cover up your sexuality? Or are you just ashamed of the fact that you're actually in a relationship with me?" Type screamed, tears starting to stream down his face.

Tharn felt panic grip his chest as he walked ahead to wipe away the tears in his eyes. Type flinched away from his touch, not wanting to give in to him. "What are you talking about, Type? I'm not ashamed of our relationship. Who thinks I'm dating her?" He asked, panicked at the way Type was looking at him and not letting him get close. "You haven't read the articles? It's all over the internet," Type spat.

Tharn widened his eyes and quickly walked to his desk to search up his name. A dozen articles popped up, linking him to Waan. He felt rage start to fill him up as he clicked on the first article, scrolling down to see the grainy picture of him at the restaurant with her. He finally realised why Type had acted the way he did and felt guilt crawling up his chest. He walked back to Type and put his arms around his man as tightly as he could, resistance be damned.

Type put up a weak struggle, he didn't have the strength to fight. He felt like things were changing between them and he didn't know what he was going to do with himself if he didn't have Tharn anymore. He was an intrinsic part of his life, woven into every fiber of his being. He knew he was going to be shattered if they broke up, which seemed like a real possibility to him given what had happened. 

"I'm sorry, Type. I didn't know we were going to be followed by the paparazzi. We were there for a business dinner and she tried to come on to me. She grabbed my hand, and I was trying to politely let her down because we have to work with her for the next few months for the promotion of our game. I just grabbed her hand to release her hold on my other hand. That's when they must have taken the picture. I should have been more careful. I'm so sorry," Tharn spoke into his shoulder earnestly.

"But why didn't you let me hold your hand? Am I your shameful secret?" Type asked, voice devoid of any emotion. Tharn leaned back to stare at his empty red-rimmed eyes. "No, Type. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. How can you even say that?" He asked as he tightened his hold on the man.

Type scoffed as he pushed against his chest, finally breaking Tharn's hold on him. "How long are you going to keep our relationship under wraps? Isn't five years long enough? I'm tired, Tharn. I can't see you being linked with every woman you're seen with. I know it's all gossip, but it chips away at my soul every time I see one of those articles, knowing that you will never come out and tell the world that the only person in your life is me."

"Trust me, I want nothing but to announce to the world that I'm yours, but I can't. I have this entire company to think about. Thousands of employees, thousands of livelihoods at stake. I'm the face of the company and you know that the general public doesn't look at homosexuality kindly. No matter how progressive you think society has gotten, it truly hasn't in reality. We will incur a lot of losses if I were to come out. It would be very selfish of me to put myself before everyone that looks up to me in this company. We have a launch happening in a week on top of that. I can't do anything about it right now. I'm really sorry, Type. I truly am," Tharn said sadly as he reached forward to try and hold his arm again.

Type stepped back. "I know that, Tharn. That's why I haven't complained in the last five years. But how much longer is this going to go on for? Am I just going to be your secret for the rest of our lives? Do I have to look over my shoulder every time I want to grab my boyfriend's hand in public? I just want to know how long you plan to keep this up."

"I don't want us to be a secret either, Type. I just can't announce my sexuality to the world right now. We just have to hold on for a little longer, okay? I swear I will straighten this out as soon as the timing is right," Tharn said as he took a step towards Type, arm outstretched.

Type moved back once more, chuckling coldly. "Yeah. And when is that going to happen? Five more years? Ten?"

"Type! You know I can't do anything about it right now. I've already apologised to you. I've told you that I will make this right when I can. I already have a lot on my plate right now, can you not pile on further?" Tharn asked, feeling the frustration of the past couple of months taking a final toll on him in the form of this confrontation he was absolutely not prepared for. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry for putting you through so much by wanting you to announce that you're not single, especially after how much I fought for you with my parents. I cut them off because they refused to accept you for three whole years. I finally understand how I'm inconveniencing you for wanting to see you do the same for me," Type shouted and he turned on his heel to walk towards the door. Tharn followed after him, feeling the shame and guilt for being angry with Type moments ago consuming him whole. "I don't want to talk to you right now. Don't come home. I need time." Type said coldly, and walked out of his office.

Tharn fell to the floor on his knees, the cold truth behind Type's words finally crashing on him. He felt like utter shit. 

°°°

  
  


Tharn stayed on his office floor till it was dark outside, not finding the will to get up and do anything after what happened in the morning. His phone buzzed on his desk and he quickly ran to grab it, hoping it was Type. His heart fell when he realised it was just an update for the agenda for the week. The way his heart started thumping loud when he thought the message was from Type made him realise he needed to sort this out with him as soon as possible. 

Tharn practically ran out of his office, broke possibly a few traffic rules and hurried into their apartment to get to Type. He burst into their bedroom to find it empty. He felt the panic in his chest worsen when he found the entire house empty. 

As a last ditch effort, he called Type, only for his calls to go directly to voicemail. He didn't know who else to contact, or where he would be, so he decided to shoot him a message. 

Sleep did not come to him that night as he sat up, replaying what happened earlier in the day, feeling worse and worse about himself. He realised he hadn't been thinking about how Type would be feeling about them having to keep their relationship under wraps for so long. He always thought Type was okay with it, but he clearly wasn't. The part he mentioned about him fighting with his parents hit him the hardest. 

He still remembered that day they had gone to visit his parents and how his father refused to even talk to him when Type introduced Tharn to them as his boyfriend. Type had left that house with him in tow, telling him that he wouldn't let anything come between them, not even his homophobic father. Type had given up his parents for him for years, refusing to entertain any threats of them cutting him off from the family if he continued to date him. He had stood strong and didn't sway from his words to his parents about Tharn till they eventually came around. Type had truly done a lot for their relationship and the thought that he wouldn't even let him hold his hand was eating away at him. 

Tharn decided to find him in his office the next day and talk it out with him. He knew this was a big deal. They really needed to communicate to fix it. 

°°°

  
  


"Type!" Tharn practically screamed as he burst into his office.

"He's not here. Just stepped out of the building for a meeting."

"Oh, Jake," Tharn said, seeing him splayed out on the couch. "Why are you in this office then?"

Jake pushed himself off the couch and walked up to Tharn. "I'm the talent. I can be wherever I please," Jake said with a playful smirk. Tharn, remembering how he liked to make light of every situation, gave him a small smile. He wasn't really in the mood for his jokes. 

"Did you talk to Type about the article?" 

Tharn widened his eyes in surprise. He didn't think Type would have discussed that with him. "I don't really want to talk to you about that. I'm here to see Type," Tharn said.

"Oh, so you guys fought about it, didn't you? No wonder Type slept here last night. He looked like a zombie this morning. He refused to talk about it too. I'm right, aren't I? You guys fought about that Waan girl, didn't you?" Jake asked. Tharn was still processing his words. He should have known Type would sleep over in the office. He couldn't believe how much Jake knew about their relationship, but he needed to shut him up. "We didn't fight over her. We've been together for five years. You really think a fake rumour is enough to fight over?" Tharn said defensively. He wasn't entirely lying, since their fight was about something more serious. 

"So it was something more serious, wasn't it? You made Type be like that, didn't you?" Jake said, his tone suddenly turning heavily accusatory. Tharn backed off a little, feeling deflated, because he was right after all. He did that to Type. He was the one to blame. He looked down at the floor, not really knowing what to say in his defence, because he didn't have any. 

"Your silence is telling me that I'm right," Jake said as he walked closer to Tharn to look him in the eyes. "You know, Type and I had made a deal five years back. We made a pact that we would date each other if he was single by the time he turned thirty. I don't know if you're keeping check, but he's turning thirty soon and, if you don't treat him the way he deserves to be treated, I'm going to take him away from you," he added as he poked Tharn's shoulder with his index finger. 

Tharn stumbled back a pace, irritation clear on his face. He had known Jake had a crush on Type for a long time now. Type was completely blind to it, even when he had mentioned it to him several times. He always shook it off, telling him that Jake just likes to joke around, that he's never serious. But Tharn could see in the glare that Jake was giving him in the moment that he was serious. 

He never felt threatened by Jake before because he knew that Jake supported their relationship, seeing Type so happy. That wasn't the case anymore. Type wasn't happy and he could see that Jake was definitely not happy about that. He knew Jake's threat might even come to fruition if he didn't fix his problem with Type, and fix it immediately.

Tharn nodded his head, acknowledging what Jake had said to him. "I'll fix it. I love him more than anything or anyone in my entire life. I would be lost without him too. I'm going to set this right," he said with determination. 

"Good. I better not catch Type looking like how he did this morning again. This is not an empty threat. I will take him away from you if I have to," Jake said menacingly. "I'll see to it that that never happens," Tharn said with a smile. That broke through Jake's anger as he smiled back at him and tapped his shoulder reassuringly. 

"Okay, now that I've finished everything on my agenda for the day, I'm going to go back to my nap. Good luck. Don't fuck up," Jake said as he moved to sit down on the couch again. "Or else!" He added, turning back to look at Tharn through narrowed eyes. 

Tharn nodded his head and gave him a small smile. "Sleep well." With that, he headed out of the office, fishing his phone out of his pocket and dialling a number. 

"Yuta, I'll be in the office in half an hour. Meet me in conference room 2 with the rest of the team. We need to discuss a few things for the launch."

°°°

  
  


Type had been feeling antsy for the past few days. Tharn hadn't reached out to him for most of the week, making him more pissed off, even though he was the one who had asked Tharn to give him space. He didn't even know why he was so mad because he asked for it and now he was pissed off that Tharn actually listened to him. He just wanted Tharn to come to him, he couldn't explain the feeling. All he knew was that he missed him. He missed him a lot. They had never gone a day without at least sending each other a text. The week with zero communication seemed like torture to him. He was aware that Tharn was probably busy with the launch preparations, but he still wanted to talk to him. He was dying to.

He sighed and got off the couch to walk to their bedroom, still bummed about having to stay alone for over a week. The house felt cold and empty without Tharn. He decided to swallow his pride and call Tharn to at least ask how he was doing. He wanted to be supportive for his big launch.

He walked to his bedside table and picked up his phone to send Tharn a text, but as soon as he unlocked his phone, he couldn't help but smile at the little notification with Tharn's name. He had sent him a message. 

'I'm sorry that I've been so busy with work for the past week. I haven't even gotten a chance to talk to you. I'm staying over with my team tonight to finish up everything before our launch tomorrow. As soon as the launch is over, I want to see you. Let's get dinner at our place. I've reserved a table for 9 PM. I hope you come. I love you so much, Type.'

Type grinned from ear to ear reading and re-reading that message over and over again. He wanted to see him right away but he knew he couldn't, given it was the night before the launch of his game. 

'I'll think about it.

All the best for your launch tomorrow. Break a leg.

Or a keyboard. I don't know the equivalent of that to your computer language. 

And I love you too.

Asshole.'

°°°

  
  


Type sat on his seat, swaying back and forth expectantly, waiting for the livestream of the event to start. He knew he would put Tharn in an uncomfortable situation again if he physically went there, like he had done to him a week ago, so he decided to just watch the launch from home. 

He set up the screen recording when the countdown started at 5 minutes. He wanted to save it for posterity. Mostly himself, if he was being honest. He nervously patted his knees as the screen started counting down from 10 seconds. 

The screen went black and suddenly there was a spotlight turned on the stage. Type sat at the edge of his seat, waiting for Tharn to come on. The back of Tharn's head showed up from a trap door under the stage, slowly lifting him to the stage. He stopped breathing. As soon as the lift came to a stop at stage level, the background lit up showing the trailer of the game. Tharn turned around and Type felt the wind being knocked out from his lungs. "Yuta?!"

Type was extremely confused, wondering if Yuta was starting off the event and Tharn would come in later so he just sat and watched to see what would happen. It was a three hour long event so Tharn would have to show up eventually. He was the face of the company after all.

Type sat rooted to his seat for what seemed like hours, waiting for Yuta to introduce Tharn. He started to wonder what was happening because Tharn was just not showing up. 

"And that's all for today. I hope you enjoy this game as much as we enjoyed making it for you. Thank you and good night!"

Type watched as the screen cut to black and the livestream ended. He stared at the screen in disbelief. "Where's Tharn?"

Almost on cue, his phone started to ring. He quickly grabbed it off the table and answered it.

"Tharn?"

"Did you watch it?"

"Yes. What happened? Where were you? Why was Yuta presenting?"

"I'll tell you all about it over dinner. You remember we have a reservation at 9, right?"

"Uhhh…. Yeah. I remember."

"Okay. I'll see you there. I have to go congratulate my team now."

"Oh, okay."

"I'll see in two hours."

"Okay."

"Alright, I'm hanging up now."

"Okay.

Wait!

Tharn!"

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations."

"Hahaha!

Thanks."

"Okay, I'll see you later then."

"Alright."

°°°

  
  


Type was led to the same table they sat at every time they came to this restaurant. It had somehow become their place after that fateful night they reconnected. It had become a pilgrimage of sorts that they did at least once a month to remind themselves of the night that started everything for them. They had even been offered VIP membership given how often they came there. 

Type sat looking out at the skyline of the city, not needing to look at the menu because he knew it like the back of his hand. He was lost in thought about what had happened today. He didn't understand why Tharn was missing throughout the launch when he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder. He turned his body to look at him.

"You're late." Type narrowed his eyes, boring a hole through his head. 

"I'm sorry! It's just by 2 minutes," Tharn said gently, squeezing his shoulder. Type turned back around so he wouldn't see the involuntary smile hearing his voice brought to his face. He wasn't angry anymore, but he knew they still had a lot to discuss. "I could have died of hunger within that time," Type said, trying to hide the happiness he was feeling inside. 

Tharn sat down, face downcast. "I'm sorry. I'm here now. Have you ordered yet?" Type furrowed his brows. "Of course not. I always wait for you." 

Tharn's heart jumped at the underlying meaning of the words Type had just spoken. 

"You said you could have died of hunger. Also, you know exactly what I order every time. You didn't have to wait for me," Tharn said with a cheeky grin instead of all the sentimental sap that crowded his mind. Type felt his heart start to thrum inside his chest at the sight of it. No matter how many years passed, Tharn always had that effect on him. He quickly stole his glance and looked down at the menu. 

Tharn, seeing the red slowly starting to colour Type's ears and cheeks, felt his chest filling up with warmth. He was so helplessly in love with him.

He quickly flagged their server down and ordered their usual. He turned to look at Type with a smile on his face.

Type waited for him to start talking but he sat there giving him a smile for longer than necessary. It wasn't doing very good things to his heart so he decided to start himself. "So where were you? Why did Yuta do the whole presentation?"

Tharn started to chuckle, annoying Type to no end. "Really? If you're just going to sit there and laugh, I'm leaving." Tharn's mirth changed to panic as he quickly held his arm to stop him. "No, no! I'm sorry. I'll tell you."

Type settled back on his seat, feeling the warmth spreading in his body from where Tharn held him. It had been a week since he had Tharn's hands on him and he had missed that warmth terribly; so he stared at his hand with a smile on his face. 

He was pulled out of it when Tharn cleared his throat, looking up at him. He felt a little embarrassed because he knew Tharn saw the way he reacted to a mere touch. Tharn just gave him a small, reassuring smile. 

"Remember when you told me that you wanted me to show you that I was ready to do something for our relationship as much as you had?" Tharn asked. Type furrowed his brows, trying to understand what he was saying when it suddenly hit him. He widened his eyes when he recalled Tharn telling him he couldn't come out to the public because he was the face of the company. Yuta appearing alone in today's launch finally made sense to him as he stared at him, mouth agape. 

"This was me doing that. After you left my office that day, I sat up thinking about what I should do because I had a lot of responsibilities being in the forefront of our company for so many years. The whole reason I had to keep us under wraps was because of that. I figured I've borne that flag for long enough. You're right, I shouldn't have waited five years to do this. I convinced my team to relieve me from my duty. I'll be working behind the scenes from now on," he said with a gentle smile on his face. Type felt like his heart could burst. They could finally be a real couple and his happiness in the moment was boundless. 

He suddenly lost his smile when the gravity of Tharn's words finally registered into his consciousness. Tharn stepping down meant he was giving up a big part of what he had been working on building for over a decade. He had wanted Tharn to acknowledge their relationship publicly, but he finally understood the cost of it. Tharn had to step away from his role in the company just so he could give into his silly whim to feel more secure in their relationship and he felt like a terrible person. 

"Tharn, I'm sorry. I was just being insecure when I saw you being linked with yet another actress. I didn't think this through. I was just so mad that I didn't realise what I was asking you to do. I'm okay with us not being out to the public. It doesn't really matter when we both know that we only belong to each other. People's opinions or view of us doesn't affect our relationship. I should have been more secure in what we have before I made you give up so much for me. I'm really sorry. You should go back to your role. You've worked so hard for so many years for it. I'll be fine with keeping our relationship under wraps. I swear," Type said, guilt and worry starting to eat him up.

"But I won't." Type, shocked to hear that, stared at him wide eyed, making Tharn chuckled at the owl-like look on his face. "I don't want to hide anymore. We have been through so much to find our way to each other. I don't want to hide our relationship anymore. I want to shout from the rooftops that you belong to me. Just like I belong to you. I've let the responsibility I've felt towards the company push that need down. You don't know how happy and relieved I feel right now. I can finally let that pent up frustration go because I don't need to hide how much I love you anymore," Tharn said as he threaded his fingers through Type's on the table. 

The server rounded the partition with their food and, out of instinct, he tried to release his hand from Tharn's. Tharn didn't let go. Instead, he tightened his hold on his hand as he looked up at the server with a smile. Type, worriedly looked at him to gauge his reaction. 

The server simply smiled at them, placed their plates on the table and left. Type felt relief wash over him and happiness pooling in the pit of his stomach at finally being able to hold his boyfriend's hand in public. 

"I love you, Tharn." 

Tharn snapped his head to look at him. Type had never said those words out loud more than a handful of times, especially not in public. He felt his heart swelling with pure, unadulterated happiness as his face lit up. "I love you too, Type. So much," he said as he squeezed his hand.

Type tried to hide the smile that reply brought to his face as he tried to pry his hand out of Tharn's grip. "Why are you trying to take my hand away from me?" Tharn asked, holding his hand tighter.

"This is not your hand. It's mine. I grew it myself. You took no part in making this hand," Type said, trying to wriggle his hand free.

"Yeah, but you're mine. That means this hand is mine too," Tharn said with a playful smile. Type felt his breath hitch, his face starting to heat up again. He needed to save himself from his annoyingly handsome boyfriend and his cheesiness. He successfully pried his hand away and looked up at the slight, sad pout on Tharn's face. 

"If you want this hand to be yours for the rest of your life, you need to let me eat, you know, so I can stay alive for you to do that," Type said with a smile. Tharn's pout immediately turned into a big grin. "So you admit that you're mine?" Tharn asked excitedly. 

Type looked down at the table, feeling the heat starting to travel up his temple. He could practically see how tomato-like he probably looked in the moment. "Mmmm," he said with a curt nod, not being able to form those words in his mouth. 

Tharn started to laugh at the adorable creature that sat across from him. Type could be so bold and then so contrastingly coy in a matter of moments and it endeared the red-faced, handsome man to him even further. He couldn't understand how much his love for him could grow even after all these years together. He thought he loved him more than he thought possible already, but moments like these showed him how much more love he could grow for him. 

They silently ate their dinner, giving each other small smiles throughout, both not needing words to communicate what they were feeling, because they could see it in each other's faces.

Once they had finished their dinner, they entered the elevator. Type exited first and was about to take a turn to walk to the door that opened to the parking when he felt Tharn pulling him back by his arm. He turned around to look at him confused about what he wanted. Tharn smiled at him and brought a hand up to caress his face. Type darted his eyes, not being able to meet Tharn's which were currently full of affection. They were in public after all, and this was all too new for Type. 

Tharn, seeing the hesitation on his face, couldn't help but break into a smile of adoration. He firmly turned Types head to make him look him in the eye. As soon as their eyes met, Tharn leaned in and connected their lips. 

Type felt electricity course through his body as soon as Tharn's lips touched his. This was a whole new experience for him. They had never kissed in public and the excitement was making his spine tingle. 

Tharn moved his lips away from Type's and looked at him with even more love dripping from his eyes. Type felt like he was probably a puddle on the floor by now. "Let's go home," Tharn said. Type nodded, not being able to conceal the smile that refused to leave his lips. Tharn held his hand, intertwining their fingers and walked to the car.

°°°

  
  


A shrill ringing woke Type up, way too early for his liking. He opened his eyes, fighting the sleep that refused to leave them. He felt Tharn's warmth underneath his body. He turned his head up to look at the devastatingly beautiful man who was all his, almost losing himself in the moment again, till the loud ringing of his phone snapped him out of it. 

He groaned as he reached for the side table and grabbed the annoying piece of technology. He stared at the screen with half opened lids to see it was Jake calling him. He sighed, knowing it was probably going to be another scandal waiting to happen. He tapped on the answer button and brought the phone up to his ear.

"Yes. Who is it this time? Send me their information and I'll deal with it."

"Type! I just saw the article. Congratulations!" Jake screamed, making Type flinch and move the phone away from his sensitive ears. He wanted to kill Jake for calling him so early just for that. "You could have waited till I got to the office," he said, irritated. 

"I just saw it and I couldn't wait! Tharn is really something. I was starting to doubt it, but now I know he is always true to his words," he said excitedly. Type furrowed his brows in confusion. "Yeah. It's not just Tharn. There were a lot of people working to make the game. It's a bit early for you to have finished the game already. Did you stay up all night playing it? You know you have a recording today right? You can't come in tired," Type said, a little annoyed. 

"I'm not calling about that! Oh, my god! How are you so slow when you are the CEO of a whole ass company?" He said with a chuckle. If Type was confused earlier, he was a hell of a lot more confused now. "What the fuck are you talking about? Are you drunk or something? Where are you right now? I'll send someone to pick you up," Type said. 

"Can you shut up for a second? I'm calling to congratulate you. Tell Tharn that he has nothing to be worried about anymore because I will support him and you fully from now on. I'll send you the link to the article. I'm hanging up now. Bye!" 

Type heard the disconnecting tone and brought his phone to his face, staring at the screen. He was sure Jake was probably at some club, drunk out of his mind. Nothing he said made any sense to him. He rubbed his eyes, knowing they'd have to clean up after him soon. 

His phone suddenly dinged. Type looked to see it was a message from Jake. He tapped on it and saw he had sent him a link. He quickly opened it to try to see if what Jake was saying held any water. As soon as his eyes fell on the headline, he felt his chest grow cold.

_ Tharn Kirigun spotted kissing a man after being missing in action for the launch of Legend II. Is the company distancing themselves from the man who started it all? _

Type scrolled down to read the article to see it was full of bullshit claims and basically calling Tharn lesser of a man just because he was dating another man. It was one of those gossip sites with horrible journalistic ethics, flinging around wild theories. He saw the attached picture and his mind went numb. It was of them kissing in the lobby the night before. 

He quickly searched up Tharn's name on the search engine and he was inundated by articles after articles about the same thing. He read through a few more and as he scrolled down to the comments, his heart dropped. People were slinging mud at Tharn's name. Religious groups had asked for a ban on the sale of the game. Longtime fans were turning on him, throwing horrible, homophobic slurs at him. 

Type felt his chest being stabbed by a hundred knives when he realised it was all because of him. If he had just kept his mouth shut, if he had just been happy in what he had with Tharn, it would have never come to this. Tharn did not deserve any of this. He had worked really hard to get where he was and it was all torn down just because he wanted Tharn to acknowledge their relationship in public. 

Type knew he was the worst boyfriend ever; the proof of it staring at him through his phone screen. He turned to look at the peaceful face of the love of his life lying next to him and, for the first time in five years, he knew that he deserved so much better than someone as selfish as him. Someone who had just undone over a decade worth of his work and reputation. 

His vision slowly got hazy, tears starting to form in his eyes at the sheer hatred he felt for himself at the moment. Tharn definitely deserved better. He knew he needed to let Tharn know about this so he could contact PR to sort out this mess. 

He gently nudged him and Tharn stirred in his sleep, not waking up. He nudged him harder, making Tharn turn to face him as he snaked his hand around his waist and pulled him closer. Type felt even worse seeing how much Tharn wanted him, completely unaware that he had just destroyed his life. 

Type pushed him away and Tharn finally opened his eyes, furrowing his brows at Type trying to get out of his grasp. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Type, seeing his eyes glazed over with tears. His eyes snapped completely open, fully alert as he reached out to Type. 

Type, seeing the worry on his face, felt even more like the bad guy. "Type? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Tharn asked, panicked. 

Type shook his head, not being able to form words with the emotions choking him up. He pushed his phone to Tharn, knowing this was probably the straw that was going to break the metaphorical camel's back. Tharn, stared worriedly between Type and his phone as he carefully reached for it. 

Type kept his gaze on Tharn as he started scrolling through his phone, waiting to see him change his mind about their relationship. He widened his eyes in abject shock when he saw Tharn starting to smile at the phone screen. Type wondered if he opened the right page before he handed the phone to Tharn, given that his reaction was completely the opposite of what he was expecting. 

"Oh, it's already out? They worked a lot faster than I thought," Tharn said as he turned to look back at Type with a smile on his face. Type was dumbfounded when he heard that. He couldn't even begin to wrap his head around what was happening. He was worried about him destroying Tharn's career a few moments ago, but Tharn was smiling at him like nothing was wrong. "What?" He croaked. 

Tharn started to chuckle when he saw the look of his face. He grabbed his waist and pulled him closer to himself. He brought his hand up to Type's face and wiped away the tears and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry. Seeing how you're reacting, I should have probably told you about this earlier," Tharn said.

Type leaned away from him and looked at him through knitted brows. "What does that mean? You knew this was going to happen? Did you plan this?" He asked incredulously. 

Tharn chuckled and shook his head. "No, not really. Sort of, I guess. I knew they would try to find me after I didn't appear for the launch yesterday. I'm sure they needed a bite for their new reports about me being missing from the event. I didn't think they'd actually publish so quickly," he said. 

Type, finally registering what he was saying, understood what he meant perfectly, but he still felt really guilty about all the negative press. "But what about all the comments? They're trying to ban your game and saying really horrible things about you. Don't you have to work that out with your company? It's probably going to cause a lot of problems," he said in a small voice, not being able to meet his eyes. 

Tharn brought his hand to his chin and made him look up at him. "I've already handled all that. Why do you think I was missing for a week? We've already made up a response and how to deal with all this beforehand. They're working to release the statement right now. It's probably going to be out by noon today, if not earlier."

Type widened his eyes, more surprised to hear this part of the news. "That's why you didn't contact me for a week? Because you had been working on the strategies to combat this news when it came out?" He asked.

"Yes. You need to stop overthinking this. We have a set plan of how to go about this very event. It's going to be alright," Tharn said as he pulled his closer, their bare chests on each other.

Type was speechless. He didn't know what he did to deserve this man. He was everything and more than he could ever ask for. 

Tharn kissed his cheek and rested his head on his chest. "I feel so happy that I don't have to hide you anymore, that  _ I  _ don't have to hide anymore either. The whole world knows about us by now and it makes me so happy I could burst. I guess you can say I've finally achieved the one thing I've wanted to do forever. I have shouted out from the roofs that you're mine and everybody knows it now," he said as he placed a kiss on Type's chest.

Type felt like he was suffocating from the amount of love he was feeling in the moment. He couldn't hold it back anymore. He pushed Tharn to his back and straddled his naked body with his own. Tharn stared at him, surprised at the suddenness of his action. He opened his mouth to say something, but was quickly silenced by Type's mouth descending on it with fervour. He swallowed his words right along with Type's tongue in his mouth, knowing this was Type's way of telling him he loved him back.

°°°

  
  


The news had died down by the end of the week. The PR team had worked their magic and spun the item around in their favour. The game had gotten even more press because of one of the company head being in a same-sex relationship. It had boosted the sales even further and the company had become a household name internationally for how inclusive they were being portrayed as. They had even announced an expansion pack where the spirit adventurer ends up with his apprentice, Dominic, at the end of the game. 

Everything was looking up for Tharn and Type. Tharn still didn't take his role back as the face of the company, but made appearances with the team for a few events, gathering even more press. After a round of promotions, Tharn was spent and rushed to get back to Type and their home.

He rushed in the door, not having seen Type for all of two days, two days too long for him. He found him lounging on their couch, watching the news. Type turned around when he heard Tharn approaching and gave him a warm smile. 

Tharn felt his chest fill up with pure love at the sight. This is what he always wanted to come home to. To his Type, smiling at him, in their home. "You're back? I made dinner."

Tharn sat down next to him and circled his arms around his waist, pulling him into a tight embrace. Type brought a hand up to caress his back, drawing soothing circles around its expanse. "I missed you so much," Tharn sighed. Type felt warmth engulfing him through his embrace and his words. He nodded into his shoulder. "You've been gone for two days. You're acting like you're coming home from war," Type said, jokingly. He didn't want to let on that he was revelling in his embrace because he had missed him too. 

Tharn tightened his hold around him. "You could say I did. If one more reporter asked me about my personal life, I would have probably killed them. They're relentless. They want to know every nitty-gritty detail of our relationship. All those gossip columnists somehow found their way into the conferences, taking up the time from people who were there for the purpose of the press events: the game."

The frustration in his voice made Type chuckle. "But didn't you say that the more press you get, the better it is for your company? Those gossip columnists are just bringing more visibility to your game, even if they are asking the wrong questions. You should listen to your own advice. All press is good press," he said.

"Yeah, I know. But it's just annoying. I'm tired of answering the same question over and over again. I'm pretty sure everyone and their grandmother knows I'm dating a man by this point," Tharn said. "True. Let's get your mind off this. Aren't you hungry? I worked really hard to make you dinner." Type grabbed his shoulders to push him off. 

Tharn nodded and smiled at him. He stood up and grabbed Type's hand to tow him along to the dining table. He lifted the cover off the dish and smiled from ear to ear when he saw what Type had made him. "Spaghetti Bolognese?" He asked, turning to smile at Type. 

Type nodded and pulled his chair for him to sit down. He took his own seat and passed Tharn the serving spoon. Tharn excitedly took the spoon and dug into the dish, but it didn't go through. He wiggled it about, only for the whole of the mound of spaghetti to jiggle together. He turned to look at Type with amusement on his face. 

Type was more than embarrassed at this point. He had followed the recipe to the T. He couldn't figure out how he fucked up this time. "Should we just order take out?" He suggested sheepishly. 

"Nonsense. You said so yourself, you worked really hard to make me dinner. Let's just call it lasagna," he said and dug the spoon in to cut out a square for himself. Type, although really let down by another one of his attempts at cooking falling extremely flat, felt a sense of happiness at Tharn not wanting to let his efforts go to waste. He watched in horror as Tharn served him a square of the congealed spaghetti, the reality that he had to now consume that monstrosity on his plate finally dawning on him. 

He carefully watched Tharn as he took a bite of the spaghetti/lasagna, awaiting his reaction. Tharn chewed and swallowed, turning to look at Type with a smile on his face. "It's good! You just kept it out for too long so it became a solid mass, but the flavour is there. It tastes good," he reassured him.

Type was still a little sceptical about that claim, so he spooned a small amount of the food and carefully ate it. Tharn was right, it was just a little floppy, but it tasted like Bolognese. He smiled back at Tharn and started to dig in. 

After they were done with dinner, Tharn took a quick shower and walked back to the living room to join Type on the couch. "You want to check out the expanded game?" 

Type turned to look at him, wide eyed. "That's not coming out for another month, isn't it? Have you already completed it?" He asked excitedly. He could see the perks of dating a game developer and he was glad he had bagged him. "Yeah, that's just the launch date. I had actually finished it a long time back. I never thought we'd get a chance to release it, but the stars just aligned," he said. 

"For you to make even more money, right?" Type asked, with a smirk. Tharn chuckled and nodded. "I guess. So are you going to make more snarky comments or do you want to play it?" 

Type nodded excitedly and Tharn moved to the television unit to start the game. He walked back and handed Type the controllers and the VR headset. Type excitedly put the headset on and started the game. 

The scene started with the last mission of the game. Dominic and the spirit adventurer had to fight off the Wyvern conjured up by the Wizard of Namduhr.

Dominic was powered up, so he could help the spirit adventurer with incantations, to make them doubly powerful. It was a treat for the eyes and the mind. Type was enjoying the whole fight scene, knowing how it played out since he had already finished playing the game before. Once they killed the Wyvern, they'd have a final showdown with the Wizard. 

Successfully killing the Wyvern, the spirit adventurer and Dominic moved to the Wizard. Knowing that he had to first break the seal around the tower to get to the Wizard, he started the sequence for the charm breaking. 

He saw a flash of lightning fall next to him. That was different. He turned to look to the side to see Dominic on the floor. He knew this was probably how the expansion pack wavered from the original game. He quickly moved his character to bend down to access the damage on Dominic to find out that he was at the brink of death. The booming voice of the Wizard announced to him that he'd have to fight him alone. 

He understood that this was going to be harder than the original. He wondered if he could save Dominic somehow, because he had been by the spirit adventurer's side for so long. He tried a healing incantation, but it was of no use. Dominic was still dying. 

"You must go alone, spirit adventurer. My body cannot be saved. He has corrupted my lifesource. It cannot be healed."

This was interesting. He didn't expect for there to be a cut scene. 

"I sense it, but you mustn't give up, apprentice. I will find a way to keep you alive."

"No, master. You must destroy the Wizard. There will be no peace in these lands if he lives. All we have done thus far has led us to this moment. You must go forth and destroy him. My role in this adventure has now come to an end." He starts to cough out a black substance and his skin starts to get sallow.

"You will not die today, apprentice. It is not your time. We have many adventures ahead of us."

"Spirit adventurer, you cannot save me. One cannot be brought back if one's lifesource is dead. You must go kill the Wizard."

"I cannot end this adventure without you, Dominic."

"The spirit adventurer has called my name for the first time! I can now die in peace. I must thank you for everything. I shall close my eyes and drift off to Valhalla now."

"Valnuth."

"Spirit adventurer?"

"Valnuth. That is my name."

"You mustn't share your name with a single soul, master. It drains your lifesource to do so as a spirit adventurer."

"It does not matter now. You will not die before me."

An option popped up, where the spirit adventurer gets to choose to give half his lifesource to Dominic to keep him alive. Type was so invested in the game, he didn't know how Tharn ended up making this plot even more interesting than the original. He quickly clicked on the option to give Dominic half his lifesource, knowing the final battle was going to be a lot harder with their powers lowered. He wondered if there was a particular strategy to winning it.

As soon as the lifesource was put into Dominic, he got back up and they entered the tower to face off with the Wizard. It was a tough battle. They only had half the power that the Wizard had at this point. He tried every incantation, but the Wizard would only incur a very small damage compared to his character. He was lost. He didn't know how he was going to win.

Dominic gave him the suggestion to use the power held within the walls of the tower to hit the Wizard, and Type perked up. He threw an incantation into the wall, and it started to circle the tower, increasing its potency before it hit the Wizard. He squealed in excitement. 

Once he had gotten the trick, it didn't take long for them to defeat the Wizard and the cut scene started to play. 

"We have done it, master!"

"You may call me by my name, Dominic."

"But addressing the master by his name will affect his power even further."

"Half of my life-force is within you. You are me as I am you from now on."

"If you say so, Valnuth."

Valnuth took off his mask and smiled and Type froze. This was a lot for him to take. 

He had Tharn's face. 

He paused the scene and took off his headset. He turned to look at Tharn, wide eyed. 

"The spirit adventurer was designed after you?" He asked. Tharn laughed at the squeaky voice that came out of Type's mouth. "Yes. Kind of. We used my movements to design the character." 

"Wow. I never thought of you as narcissistic, but this changes a lot of things," Type said with a smirk. "I guess you can say that. I've been working to make myself look cooler this whole time."

"My god! Is this you cheating on me? You’ve had a hard-on for Dominic this whole time? Whom is he based on?" Type asked, mostly joking, but a small part of his mind wanted to know if his words were true. Was there a Dominic out there? 

"The character is made fully from our imagination. The movements and things are based off of the rest of the team. You don't have to worry. There was no Dominic," Tharn said.

"Wait, what do you mean by 'was'? Is there a Dominic now?" Type asked, panic starting to rise in his chest. Tharn chuckled and moved to enclose him in an embrace. "Yes. I guess," he said, smiling at him.

"Who? Who is it?" Type asked, his insides twisting. Tharn brought his face closer to his and pecked him on the lips. "You."

"What!?" Type exclaimed in disbelief. Tharn grinned at his reaction and nodded. "He wasn't really based on you, but I got so many ideas for the plotlines since I met you. After the first five missions in the first game, you were my inspiration for Dominic. So much so, that I made this alternate ending months back, just for you. I was going to give it to you for your birthday next month, but since this expansion pack will be launching next month too, I wanted you to be the first one to play it, since I originally made it for you," Tharn said.

Type was speechless as he stared at him. He couldn't even begin to put into words how much he loved him. All the time Tharn had been working on the game, he had been writing a story of the two of them. The weird scene where Dominic almost leaves the spirit adventurer for a maiden in the last game finally made perfect sense to him now. 

"Thank you Tharn. This is the best birthday gift I've ever received in my entire life," he said as he pecked him on the lips. 

"I should thank you! You were the reason why this game is so good. And it's not done yet. You should finish it first," Tharn said, releasing his hold on Type. Type nodded and put his headset back on, trying to hide the smile on his lips.

He pressed play and the end-scene resumed. 

Tharn/Valnuth was smiling and Type felt the warmth and familiarity of that smile washing over him. The scene then panned out to show the side profiles of the characters.

It zoomed into their side profiles and then cut to Dominic's face. Type froze again. Dominic's face had changed to his. He saw his lips curling into a smile and then it panned out again.

"We have been on many adventures together," Valnuth said, but the voice was no longer deep and gravelly. It was Tharn's voice coming out of Tharn/Valnuths's mouth and Type was once again frozen in place. 

"We've been in each other's lives for more years than we haven't by now. You were my first friend, first crush and first love. We have been through so much together. We have seen pain, happiness, love and friendship. We have been with each other through our heartbreaks and relationships. You are the best thing in my life and I can't believe I get to call you mine. I know we went through a whole lot of shit to get to where we are now. I'm pretty sure I can make a perennial river out of how much I've cried for you. I've been an idiot, wasting so many years that I could have spent with you. I know now that I don't want to spend a single moment without you anymore, for the rest of my life. So, with all my heart, I ask you this: Type Thiwat Phawattakun, will you marry me?"

Valnath/Tharn got on his knees and produced a ring in front of him/Dominic. The screen showed the option of 'Yes' and 'No'. Type couldn't even see the screen anymore through the tears that were flowing out of his eyes by that point. 

He took off the headset to see Tharn in front of him, on his knee, holding a ring up to him with a smile on his face. Type looked at the screen and then back to Tharn, to see it looked identical. 

"So? What do you say?" Tharn asked. Type furrowed his brows and looked at the screen behind Tharn. Tharn stared at him, a sinking feeling in his chest at the unreadable expression on his face.

Type quickly put the headset back on, and a confused Tharn turned to look at the screen. 

Type hovered over the screen and clicked on 'Yes' and Tharn felt his entire being leap in joy. 

Type took off the headset and threw it on the couch along with the controllers. He jumped on Tharn and smothered him with kisses, feeling so happy he could die. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" 

He brought his lips to Tharn's and kissed him hard. Tharn pushed him away after a while, as Type stared at him through the veil of joyful tears. Tharn smiled at him and brought up his hand to show him the ring in his hand, and Type snapped out of it and nodded, understanding what Tharn meant. 

He brought his left hand up to him and Tharn slipped the ring onto his finger. "You're finally officially mine. The government is going to get involved now. You won’t be able to get rid of me so easily anymore, Type," Tharn said with a grin. "Yeah, that means you're officially mine too. It's you who can’t get rid of me anymore. You can try, but know that I  _ will _ kill you before you can leave me," Type said seriously.

Tharn chuckled heartily, knowing Type was confessing how much he loved him veiled under a death threat. "Noted. I would die before I leave you too, so that works out perfectly," Tharn said. 

"I'm serious, Tharn. If you dare to even think about leaving me, I will kill you. You remember back when we slept together and you asked me if you should take responsibility for it?" He asked. "Yes. I remember. I guess, now, I was only half kidding. Would have been nice if we had gotten together back then."

"Yes. Would have been if I had said yes, which I stupidly didn't because I was as unaware of my feelings for you back then. But I do know of it now. Very well indeed. So, this time, you will have to take responsibility. No backing out, no matter what," Type said.

Tharn broke into a huge grin and nodded. "Yes. I will take responsibility. For the rest of my life and the rest of yours." Type gave him a small smile, concealing how happy he was feeling in the moment. "Good."

Tharn brought his lips towards Type's, slowly closing the gap between them. "Tharn?"

Tharn leaned back to look at him, suddenly interrupted. "Hmmm?"

Type looked at the ground, trying to muster up the courage to say the words. "Ummm…. can you…. ummm…."

"What, Type? You know you can ask me anything," Tharn said, holding onto his waist. Type looked up at him and flitted his eyes nervously away from him again. "Forget it."

"No, tell me! I want to know," Tharn said, pulling him closer to himself. Type felt really embarrassed about what he wanted to ask him, but he guessed since they were going to be married, he needed to get over it and just do it.

"Can you ask me?" Type said in a low voice. Tharn cocked his head to one side, trying to figure out what he meant. "Ask you what?"

Type, feeling his face heat up, buried his face in Tharn's shoulder to hide his embarrassment. "Can you ask me to marry you? You know, not in the game, right now. I want the real thing so I can remember it," he said, voice half muffled by Tharn's shirt.

Tharn chuckled and caressed his hair, once again feeling that familiar sensation of falling for the adorable man who had his face buried in his chest out of embarrassment even further. He grabbed his shoulders and pushed him away, taking off the ring from his hand.

He got on his knee once again and held the ring up to him.

"Type Thiwat Phawattakun, my best friend, my greatest love, will you marry me?"

Type, smiling ear to ear, nodded vigorously and extended his left hand towards him once again. Tharn slipped the ring on his finger and stood up to look at the radiant smile on his face, feeling it warming up every morsel of his being. "Do you want a longer speech than that? I have a lot more to say. Years worth of it."

"No. That was enough," Type said, looking at the ground again. Tharn furrowed his brows, wondering what was going through his mind this time. 

A scary thought suddenly invaded Type's mind as he stared at Tharn. "Wait, is that the version of the game that's going to be released? Is the whole world going to see your proposal to me?" He asked. More like, screamed.

Tharn started to chuckle, shaking his head at his ridiculous thought. "Of course not! That part will be changed. That's why it's going to take us a month to release it. I had made that for you. This version is only for us to have," he said with a gentle smile.

Type felt his heart grow fuller. He knew he wanted to give Tharn something like this back, but he didn't know how he was going to top Tharn's proposal. It was perfect. It had the right amount of sentimentality. It was personal, but it wasn't too cheesy. He was surprised at that, given how cheesy Tharn was on a regular basis. It just proved to him that Tharn knew him inside out, crafting a proposal that was perfect for him. That's when he got a brilliant idea.

He looked up excitedly to see Tharn staring at him lovingly. He knew just what he was going to do for him. It was going to involve their loved ones, their restaurant, a cheesy song(something he'd probably have to start getting vocal lessons for, given that he could hold zero of the tunes), lots of roses and a chocolate cake. Oh, and a ring. Probably something with a cheesy message carved on the inside. He wondered if he could get his dad to do something. Maybe call Tharn his son and give a small speech about how pleased he was with their relationship. He knew he'd have to get on that as soon as possible because his dad, even though he had somewhat accepted them, still had his reservations about their relationship. He had to make that happen because he knew Tharn was going to love it, no matter how much Type hated making grand gestures. He was ready to do it for Tharn. 

"What are you thinking?" Tharn asked. 

Type looked back at him and smiled, knowing exactly how Tharn was going to react to his proposal. "Something."

"And what's that something?"

"I'm not going to tell you." Type smiled.

"You can't keep secrets from me anymore. We're going to be married soon. There should be no secrets between us," Tharn said.

"You really want to know?" Type asked, smiling at him. 

"Yes, of course I do, my future husband," Tharn said with a warm smile, Type's stomach exploding with butterflies at that. Type gave him a big smile as he brought his hands to cup his cheeks. 

"I love you, future husband." 

Type jumped on Tharn, wrapping his legs around his waist, grabbing onto his neck as he kissed him. Tharn grabbed his thighs to hoist him up in place as he returned his kiss with equal passion. He stumbled into the bedroom, carrying Type's weight, trying to keep his coordination in check given how his mind was growing cloudy with the intensity of the kiss. 

He threw Type on the bed and pounced on him right after, trailing kisses on his face, neck and body. Type sighed at every graze of his lips on his skin, losing himself in the true happiness he was feeling. 

Tharn leaned up to look into his eyes. Type looked at him, his mind fogged over, wanting his lips on him again. 

"I love you too, Mr. CEO."

Tharn brought his lips back on Type's to give him another feverish kiss. One of many to follow. For the rest of their lives. Or the rest of Tharn's, given Type's previous threat. Tharn was just happy it meant that he'd die before he ever had to part with Type. Tharn was his. For the rest of their lives.

Type couldn't wait to see how Tharn would react to his proposal. He was gassing himself up with that singular thought in mind to go full on cheeseball, just for Tharn. If Tharn didn't appreciate the mind-numbing, soul-crushing, cringe-inducing effort he was about to put into his proposal, he was not going to hear the end of it. For the rest of their lives. He was sure Tharn heard his earlier threat loud and clear. He was going to kill him if he changed his mind about them. Whether he liked it or not, Tharn was his. For the rest of their lives. 

°°°

  
  


Type squirmed around on the arm that was acting as his pillow. He sleepily blinked his eyes open being blinded by the light streaming in through the windows. 

He opened his eyes and saw the light glinting off the platinum band around the ring finger of the sexiest hand in existence. He smiled to himself as he took the hand and hugged it close to his chest as he settled back in for a lazy Sunday.

Tharn tightened his hold around his husband and sank further into the nape of Type's neck.

Both men content, with hands intertwined and rings to match.

'Being married to Tharn is awesome' was the last coherent thought Type had before he drifted off to sleep, warm and secure in the arms of his loving husband.

And they continued to live happily ever after in their own personal fairytale.

The End.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So we've finally reached the finish line! This was a long chapter. About 6 regular chapters worth of words. But i feels great to finally finish writing something from start to end. This story took me on a whole ass journey of emotions. I hope it translated well enough in words. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has read, commented and left me kudos'. I never thought I'd get the number of reads that I have given that this is the first piece of writing that I've ever published. Thank you so much for all the kind words. 
> 
> I know I said I'd be uploading the second fic by November, but circumstances got in the way. But we will start posting that one as soon as my beta finishes their part of the chapters. (My beta/co-author/sibling writes realy well but is lazy af.)
> 
> Please do let me know your thoughts on this story in it's entirety. I love reading your comments. 
> 
> And please send lots of encouragement to my beta so we can start posting the next story. 
> 
> Thank you for reading Dive!


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